252.8 pounds and VERY hopeful

Good morning everyone and TGIF!

So this post is more about me just sharing some postive vibes with you all..

I'm 23 years old and I will be 24 tomorrow. I'm at the highest weight I have ever been in my entire life. I'm 5'4, so this weight is pretty heavy for my height. I am morbidly obese and a statistic. I'm a mom to a very active 5 year old boy and a wife. Before I got pregnant I weighed 170 pounds. The lowest ever because prior to that I had lost nearly 30 pounds.

In 2012, I came across MFP and started around 222, and got down to 193. But things changed, I went from a stay at home mom to working full time and college student. I have not been faithful with this since, and went from 193 to 252.8 in 4 years. 60 pounds in 4 YEARS, from lack of exercise and lots of food.

I also had gone through physical abuse and emotional abuse in that time.

(This is causing me to get a bit emotional..)

I'm going to be 24... And I don't want to waste another second of my life hating myself and believing what others have said to me that I won't accomplish anything in life.

Those who've not ever been overweight or have not had body image issues can not understand what its like to feel that tremendous pressure of looking a certain way and how it puts a value on you; as an individual.

So many years have gone and I've waited for that "light bulb" moment that so many people speak about.. Its been in my face for sooo long and I've just noticed it.

I'm miserable because of how I've let my weight define me. I'm so beautiful in and out. I'm smart and sassy and selfless. And my life is worthy of this journey I've embarked upon.

Let me share my reasons for my journey: 1. Fitness, I want strength and endurance. 2. Health, I don't want to get Diabetes and Heart Disease. 3. My son, because I cannot keep being selfish living an unhealthy lifestyle and not be able to enjoy his childhood with him. 4. Police Academy, I'm applying 2 years from now after I finish college. 5. You guys, I want to inspire, motivate and support you all in your journeys!

Before I started, I'd argue alot more and just a plain miserable b!tch. I was very irritable. I've gone from that to patient, um more energy, and more endurance..

My advice to you and to myself, LOVE yourself because we CAN!