Interment or cremation- what's your preference. Oh and Happy Easter!
My mom is turning 90 in a little over a week, but I know that her time is day to day. She's already got prearranged interment, so my family doesn't have to decide.
But I had to think for myself about what I prefer.
So for me, it's cremation. It's much more affordable, and getting put in an urn and toted wherever my family wants to put my remains is up to them. Set me on the mantle, toss ashes into the sea, whatever.
My belief is that once you're gone.................you're gone. And there really is no need to created a space or have my kid and wife (if she doesn't go before me) uptake a VERY EXPENSIVE funeral and interment.
That's money they should use to survive and carry on, not spend on some memorial that just collects dust. I believe if you've impacted someone's life, you'll always be in their thoughts.
Discuss.
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But I had to think for myself about what I prefer.
So for me, it's cremation. It's much more affordable, and getting put in an urn and toted wherever my family wants to put my remains is up to them. Set me on the mantle, toss ashes into the sea, whatever.
My belief is that once you're gone.................you're gone. And there really is no need to created a space or have my kid and wife (if she doesn't go before me) uptake a VERY EXPENSIVE funeral and interment.
That's money they should use to survive and carry on, not spend on some memorial that just collects dust. I believe if you've impacted someone's life, you'll always be in their thoughts.
Discuss.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0
Replies
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I'm pretty much the same. Once I'm dead, I'm dead. Whatever will help my son the most and provide him some comfort is what I would want.0
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Cremation. With my ashes scattered in Hawaii.
Burying people seems strange to me...all those bugs! Lol0 -
I already have plans to be cremated. It makes no sense to me to be buried. Not only is it incredibly expensive, but it's an enormous waste of land space.
As far as what to do with the ashes afterwards, I really don't care. I'm not even going to spend anything on an urn. Scatter my ashes over an icy walk - whatever, I don't care. It's just a body. After I'm dead It means nothing.0 -
Cremate or just throw in the Mississippi river or leave in the woods. Makes me no nevermind.0
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Cremation0
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I'd like to be the root ball of a fruit-bearing tree. I think they cremate for that.0
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I've never thought of it really. My aunt recently was buried because she believed she will be resurrected one day and the minister at the funeral told us how she was already frolicking in paradise in maybe not her body but a body...if that's the case then I'm all for that if I get a REALLY hot body.
But since I don't really believe that all to be true I figure I'll be cremated.0 -
My mom wants the most eco-friendly/green possible option, which right now she sees as internment. She's mentioned a pine box; I'll have to tell her about the Green Burial Council-certified biodegradable cedar caskets and green cremation (which is not yet available in our state.)
If I'm cremated, I can be buried in her plot, so that's an option for now.
When my dad passed away, it was really nice that his plot had already been purchased.
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I'm donating. And whatever else is left will be cremated and buried. I'm also having the second movement of the New World Symphony played at my funeral. It was played at my aunt's and my grandfather's funerals and I want to continue the tradition. Seeing as how my great-grandparents were immigrants starting a new life in America, it only seems fitting.
The second movement starts at 12:07.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETNoPqYAIPI 0 -
Cremation for me. Ashes can be handled any way my kids see fit. I don't even want a memorial service - what's the point of everyone sitting around, being sad, when they can have a small get-together/dinner and talk about the happy things they remember? My kids have always known that I love to laugh, and they know that I would want them to laugh too.0
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My husband and I both want to be cremated which as @newmeadow mentioned is against my Jewish background, but since my tattoos supposedly keep me from being buried in a Jewish cemetery I'm not very concerned.0
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Schlackity wrote: »Cremation for me. Ashes can be handled any way my kids see fit. I don't even want a memorial service - what's the point of everyone sitting around, being sad, when they can have a small get-together/dinner and talk about the happy things they remember? My kids have always known that I love to laugh, and they know that I would want them to laugh too.
For my grandfather's memorial service there were a couple of speakers that talked about his contribution to the world and the great things about him. Then afterwards we had a family dinner. I wouldn't have it any other way.0 -
Schlackity wrote: »Cremation for me. Ashes can be handled any way my kids see fit. I don't even want a memorial service - what's the point of everyone sitting around, being sad, when they can have a small get-together/dinner and talk about the happy things they remember? My kids have always known that I love to laugh, and they know that I would want them to laugh too.
My father's service was unusually political. He'd worked for a union as a labor mediator for 30+ years and was active in local politics. A lot of people spoke. There were Caesar Chavez anecdotes, etc. The minister was the daughter of old friends of his and so knew him personally. This is a nice touch.
It was the most enjoyable service I've ever been to. I'm just sad he's not around for this political cycle. Oh, the things he would have had to say!0 -
I guess my point is, even though I was crying at the time, I didn't see his memorial service as a sad occasion but rather a celebration of his life.0
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As of now, the VA's going to cremate me and intern me for free in a military cemetery. As long as there's a US government, the grounds will be maintained.
I've been to too many abandoned cemeteries; they sadden me. I'd also prefer not to have my kids eat that expense. If they want to spend money in my memory, they can buy a park bench or something.0 -
Harvest my organs and donate what's left to science.0
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This is true. When my grandmother passed away back in '84, I visited everyday for about a month. Since then, I've gone about 4 times. Not because she wasn't important to, but because going there is pretty inconvenient. I visit my mom and dad every couple of weeks or so and there's a portrait of her right in the hallway that I see every time I'm there. That's how I remember her. Not buried in some casket.As of now, the VA's going to cremate me and intern me for free in a military cemetery. As long as there's a US government, the grounds will be maintained.
I've been to too many abandoned cemeteries; they sadden me. I'd also prefer not to have my kids eat that expense. If they want to spend money in my memory, they can buy a park bench or something.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I have in laws who are Buddhists. They get buried and the head faces the setting sun. I went to a funeral for the first time with a Buddhist ritual about 3 months ago. Very interesting on some of the rituals.I'm pretty sure Buddhists and Hindus are almost always cremated.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
cremation. no viewings. It's totally creepy. I don't want anyone touching me when I'm dead. Plus, my pop pop used to always make us kiss the corpse goodbye when we were little. I'm scarred for life from that.
I went to a Jewish funeral a couple of years ago. I'm not Jewish but the it was very beautiful and I like their concept of sitting Shiva. Although, jews don't cremate.0 -
It depends upon how I die. I believe that all murder victims, should be buried (in poor countries) & frozen (in wealthy countries); to preserve physical evidence/for possible future exhumation & then 1 of the options below, after a potential suspect; would be thought to have already died themselves. Cremation should only be to prevent contagious illnesses, from spreading to the living; otherwise it's a waste of resources. The rest should be donated to science, unless there isn't a demand; for the supply. For the surplus that science doesn't take, they should be recycled by becoming food; for scavenging animals. Since we are overpopulated, land has to be reserved; for the use of the living instead of the dead.0
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Creamation and whatever is legally possible to be the cheapest for everyone left. And donate whatever is usable.0
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I've decided on cremation, with my ashes scattered where my family sees fit, with at least some going into the ocean. I've always had a connection with the ocean, and my daughter shares it. I'm hoping that by doing it that way she will think of me whenever she is around the ocean.
Lots of interesting thoughts and traditions on this thread.
As for services, I want it to be a party like I was there. Nothing grim or structured to the point of causing anyone to be down.
One thing not mentioned that I have done. Make sure you have your will, living will, and everything else in order. My advance directive (living will) is very structured with a number of provisions. The idea is to take the hard decisions out of the hands of others to ease their burden if and when that time comes. Make sure it's legal, and anyone that might be involved has those directives. Unfortunately I went through an experience where my father did not, and his second wife never showed us the living will. As such, me and my brother could only do what we thought he would want, and can't verify that was the right thing.0 -
HStheBusyBee wrote: »I'm pretty much the same. Once I'm dead, I'm dead. Whatever will help my son the most and provide him some comfort is what I would want.
I agree with this , once you dead you are completely gone , but what if science proves that wrong one day and finds a way to prevent death or bring back life some how . could be interestingenterdanger wrote: »cremation. no viewings. It's totally creepy. I don't want anyone touching me when I'm dead. Plus, my pop pop used to always make us kiss the corpse goodbye when we were little. I'm scarred for life from that.
I went to a Jewish funeral a couple of years ago. I'm not Jewish but the it was very beautiful and I like their concept of sitting Shiva. Although, jews don't cremate.
Im Jewish and I want to be clinically frozen . Then again , I don't follow any religion .
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I'm sure my wife will cremate me, but I could really care less what they do with my body. They could put me in a large trash bag and set me on the curb on Trash Pick Up day. I don't care. I'll be dead.0
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I'm Muslim, so cremation is not an option; but for me there will be no viewing, no funeral, no fancy coffin (plywood or no coffin at all if legal), no grave marker ... Just a simple prayer when I am buried, God willing, so the costs will not be so great. I do have to make plans though, so it isn't a burden on my son (who is Christian). My mum just passed away February 10 and even with just her cremation, basic ash container (I don't know what it even looks like as she had it prearranged), "no" viewings, "no" funeral, simple burial (not until May) and grave marker, it still runs into a great deal of money. If you do have plots, check on the requirements for a marker. I know in my mums case, the graveyard had specific guidelines that run into thousands of dollars just for the basic grave marker.
I did want to be donated to science (medical school nearby); but I can't count on being accepted as you have to die under very specific circumstances, have no autopsy, have body handled within a certain time frame, so, I still have to plan for the other option, just in case, so my death isn't a burden on others. ~ Elizabeth Maryam0 -
Great post, @ninerbuff
I prefer cremation because it's better than having my family struggle for funeral arrangements along with other decisions. I want to just be gone in peace with the Lord and not having my family to stress over all this. It was an eye opener for me when my mom passed.0 -
MaryamCh2013 wrote: »I'm Muslim, so cremation is not an option; but for me there will be no viewing, no funeral, no fancy coffin (plywood or no coffin at all if legal), no grave marker ... Just a simple prayer when I am buried, God willing, so the costs will not be so great. I do have to make plans though, so it isn't a burden on my son (who is Christian). My mum just passed away February 10 and even with just her cremation, basic ash container (I don't know what it even looks like as she had it prearranged), "no" viewings, "no" funeral, simple burial (not until May) and grave marker, it still runs into a great deal of money. If you do have plots, check on the requirements for a marker. I know in my mums case, the graveyard had specific guidelines that run into thousands of dollars just for the basic grave marker.
I did want to be donated to science (medical school nearby); but I can't count on being accepted as you have to die under very specific circumstances, have no autopsy, have body handled within a certain time frame, so, I still have to plan for the other option, just in case, so my death isn't a burden on others. ~ Elizabeth Maryam
Sorry for your loss, Elizabeth
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I have advised my husband to cremate me in the bonfire that he will inevitably have while at the BBQ party after my death to celebrate my life.0
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latincoffee wrote: »MaryamCh2013 wrote: »I'm Muslim, so cremation is not an option; but for me there will be no viewing, no funeral, no fancy coffin (plywood or no coffin at all if legal), no grave marker ... Just a simple prayer when I am buried, God willing, so the costs will not be so great. I do have to make plans though, so it isn't a burden on my son (who is Christian). My mum just passed away February 10 and even with just her cremation, basic ash container (I don't know what it even looks like as she had it prearranged), "no" viewings, "no" funeral, simple burial (not until May) and grave marker, it still runs into a great deal of money. If you do have plots, check on the requirements for a marker. I know in my mums case, the graveyard had specific guidelines that run into thousands of dollars just for the basic grave marker.
I did want to be donated to science (medical school nearby); but I can't count on being accepted as you have to die under very specific circumstances, have no autopsy, have body handled within a certain time frame, so, I still have to plan for the other option, just in case, so my death isn't a burden on others. ~ Elizabeth Maryam
Sorry for your loss, Elizabeth
Thank you. It still hasn't sunk in that she is gone. Sometimes something crosses my mind and I think to call her or go do something with her... and then I remember she's gone ... If I can be 1/4 the woman she was, I would be doing good ... Again, thanks ~ Elizabeth Maryam0 -
Also include DNR if you don't want to be revived if deemed brain dead. This will make it easier if you survive an event that puts you in the hospital and are diagnosed and then the family has to make a decision on whether to keep you alive or not.robertw486 wrote: »One thing not mentioned that I have done. Make sure you have your will, living will, and everything else in order. My advance directive (living will) is very structured with a number of provisions. The idea is to take the hard decisions out of the hands of others to ease their burden if and when that time comes. Make sure it's legal, and anyone that might be involved has those directives. Unfortunately I went through an experience where my father did not, and his second wife never showed us the living will. As such, me and my brother could only do what we thought he would want, and can't verify that was the right thing.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0
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