Trying to lose but spouse is food adict

123bean
123bean Posts: 27 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm trying to stick with mfp to lose weight, but my spouse who I love and have been married to for 12 years is a food addict. Weekends are ESPECIALLY hard because he wants to eat out all the time or he will cook calorie dense food with lots of fat. Aside from not spending time with him, what can I do to create success? He's also a bit of a food pusher (and btw he needs to lose weight too)!

Replies

  • NancyYale
    NancyYale Posts: 171 Member
    I'm in the same boat with my DW, but still lost 95 pounds over the last year. I probably get derailed more often because of all the temptation around me, but I knew it would be hard at the start. Make your own food and pack it. steamer bags of low cal veggies are your friends! Research healthier options that you still enjoy when you go out to eat. Forgive yourself when you slip up.

    The key is the same for you as it is for EVERYONE. Refuse to quit. Just refuse!

    That's the secret. If you stick with it, change it up when necessary, and stay stubborn, you WILL lose the weight.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    You have a say in this too, don't you? You can cook, for both of you or just for yourself, or you could eat out, go to another place, or order a smaller meal, or just eat part of it and box up the rest or let your spouse eat it, and you can eat your husband's food but in smaller amounts. When he tries to make you eat something you don't want to eat, say I love you, but no thanks.

    Yeah, it seems very easy from afar :p
  • darkenergie
    darkenergie Posts: 27 Member
    Choose healthier options when eating out, or only eat half the meal and throw water in the rest. When eating a very calorie dense meal at home, opt for a smaller serving and make yourself a large, filling healthy side to eat with it (steamed veggies, green salad). It's hard when your spouse is not supportive of your eating habits, but just remember that at the end of the day, you control what goes in your mouth.
  • Latitude11Courtney
    Latitude11Courtney Posts: 55 Member
    I wish I had some advice for you. I had the same type of experience and my husband ended up leaving me after I lost 50 pounds. Ultimately it was the best as I truly wanted a different life and he wasn't interested in living it with me. I gained some back however I just restarted my 100+ pound journey.
  • perkymommy
    perkymommy Posts: 1,642 Member
    edited March 2016
    I've just learned to not eat what my husband eats. After two months going at it I find it real easy. Sometimes I will even take bites of what he has and just chart it and move on. He will get big macs and fries at times on the way home from work and I will take a bite and eat a few fries and it curbs that craving. :)

    My husband also prefers red meat in his meals and I don't like it very much. I make meals for both him and our kids (we have 5 together) and so far so good. You just have to have a plan in place to eat something else. I'm at the point where I crave the healthier stuff.

    One thing I will do is sometimes fix my food ahead of time and start eating while I cook the rest of the family's meal.

    As far as eating out, just look up calorie information before going out. I do weight watchers so I check points on everything. Ex: if I go to Wendys I will now get either a side salad and plain baked potato or I will get the grilled chicken sandwich and toss the bread out. Both of those options are good ones, although the chicken is much less in calories. I usually have a slight gain after eating out due to all the sodium in foods though. The main thing is to not choose a big salad when eating out in restaurants. They are full of hidden calories! I only eat a side salad or side veggie and usually eat off my husband's plate. I rarely eat out though just for this reason. Hard to stay on track when I eat out so it's best to just avoid it and my husband respects that.
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
    when my family goes out to eat, i check the restaurant menu online ahead of time to find something lower in calories that i like. you could also try an item from the children's menu - yes, it's smaller, but it's usually enough for an adult who wants tasty food but less of it.

    do you eat foods you love while doing the lower calorie thing? it's easier to stick with less food if what you eat totally rocks! then if you have that food onhand on the weekends, you can eat that and love it while your husband eats his higher calorie food. maybe prepare some things on friday evening like 37 calorie brownies (recipe here on MFP somewhere), maybe your favorite casserole or lower calorie crepes to wrap something yummy up in.

    have you talked to your spouse and asked him for his support? tell him this is VERY important to you, and that it would make you so happy if he would stop pushing food on you?
  • green_apple88
    green_apple88 Posts: 7 Member
    edited March 2016
    You will laugh. But since I started focusing on losing weight. If I go out with my partner. We share a meal. I decided it's the best for us. Most portians everywhere are too big for anyone e.g 400g steak with chips and veges. (1000 calories)

    That's my take on being a glutton and ordering two meals and eating it up

  • size102b
    size102b Posts: 1,370 Member
    edited March 2016
    I live in a house where everyone eats what they like and when they like it's they're lives

    This is yours your choosing a healthy life and if your OH chooses not too it doesnt stop you

    People say cook him the same as you it's not going to work as we are not going to be told what to do by others So I cook healthy for me no one else will eat like me but I care about myself and I cook for everyone so it's probably all about willpower
    We eat out occasionally as I choose not to you could eat before you go out go along with him then just drink and let him eat

  • glow_worm_eyes
    glow_worm_eyes Posts: 34 Member
    As far as my husband goes, I tell him "I do me, and you do you" (of course I'm referring to diet ;) )
    I know that I must take responsibility for my health. If he wants to do so, he will. Yesterday he wanted to eat chicken strips and fries. I ordered green tea. I know this is a little extreme but I had already had a delicious breakfast that I had took the time to prepare, therefore I wasn't hungry.
    Have I eaten like him before? Of course. We used to share pizzas, beer, fast food ect. I just decided it was time for a change. When he makes this decision for health also, I will be supportive. A person has to change on their own terms. I'm just hoping to set an example for my family.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Same boat, still lost 80 pounds, you just have to suck it up and learn to say no.

    What I did is start picking lower calorie options when we eat out, or just say no and make my own food at home (he's a big boy. He can eat out alone if he really wants to) and now I'm the one who cooks 99% of the time, that way I can adjust the meals to my calorie/nutrient needs. If he wants high calorie foods, he can make his own, I make my own stuff, and we're both happy.

    He ends up eating out 99% of the time at lunch during the week anyway. It really annoys me because I'm always the one stuck eating leftovers, but that way I guess he's happy with his high calorie lunch... and yeah he could afford to lose 60 pounds too...
  • silvilunazul
    silvilunazul Posts: 59 Member
    I shared a lot of the information on nutrition and fitness I was acquiring. My partner learned about calories, how you can get more volume for fewer calories by eating wholesome foods and how terrible it is to be sedentary (and have fat around the waist which used to be his case). I told him that sitting is the new smoking and he took it to heart. After a few months he jumped on the wagon, eats the same menu although slightly bigger portions, and goes for a jog every evening after work. He looks amazing and feels great. Maybe not all partners will be willing to change their lifestyles, but if you share info maybe some will stick!
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
    You control what you put into your mouth. He's a grown up and is capable of making that decision for himself as well. You're responsible for your own decisions when it comes to food, and you can't blame him for making you eat high calorie foods.

    My husband has to eat 4000 calories a day to basically maintain his weight, and he's not at all overweight. That's over double what I eat in a day to slowly lose. I visit at least two fast food restaurants each weekend to get him something to eat. I simply eat before we leave the house or when we go home after getting him something. I don't have to get something just because he is.

    In the end, it's all on you when it comes to your diet. Also, I'm 99.99% sure your husband is not a "food addict." He just eats a lot, like most Americans tend to do.
  • knittogetfit
    knittogetfit Posts: 91 Member
    This is probably a no-brainer, but have you talked to your spouse about your weight loss goals? I know that every time I have attempted to change my family's eating habits without clueing them into what's going on it hasn't gone so well. Make sure you give your spouse the opportunity to at least consider being supportive of your efforts, even if he doesn't want to join.

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