Why she being like that
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So, you are losing weight successfully because you're motivated and making an effort. Your friend is not, because she's not motivated and not making an effort, but it's your problem and you should shut up and not talk about it?
I don't agree. Sure, don't natter on nonstop about your weight (or your health, or your job, or anything else really) because no one likes boasting and bragging, but your friend is the one with the problem, not you. You are doing a fantastic job transforming your life. You have a right to be proud. You are under no obligation to censor yourself to shield other people from their self-perceived failures.
Awww thanks for your support, means alot...and I didn't think I talked about it much. Just everytime I had lost a lb I would say, I guess if she had lost then she would have told me too....I just feel stung.
I feel as if I would have listened to her....and congratulated her..0 -
DaisyHamilton wrote: »Everyone here seems so negative. My best friend has fallen off the wagon even though I stayed on from almost a month ago and she tells me how great I'm doing and high fives me every time I tell her that I've lose weight/inches.
Well done you! Your doing great! High five from me! ☺0 -
positivepowers wrote: »If she feels guilty or ashamed of losing her motivation, she may be projecting what she considers her failure on to you. She doesn't want to hear about or see your success because it reminds her of what she considers her lack of success. Keep doing what you're doing. She may come around when she sees that success is possible.
I know this takes a bit of your support system away. I hope you have others to help you through this.
Thanks for you advise...much appreciated! Feeling a little stung ..hehe ☺0 -
xmichaelyx wrote: »Quick tip: People who are "trying a diet" tend to fail; people who adopt a healthy lifestyle succeed. Forever.
Sorry about your friend.
yep yep yep this this this0 -
I'm kind of having the same issue with my sister but worse she lives with me and prepares the meals. So when I come home and its pizza, spaghetti, hot dogs, sodas ect., I'm like really?! She knows I'm really working on this for myself. But I learned to take it in stride and either decline what she makes or watch my portions and STILL loosing and feeling great! I'm doing this for me, no one else. She might think your being obsessed but its just happiness that you're doing something positive for yourself and that's a good thing! At least you have us! If you need a online buddy, add me up.. I'll cheer you on.
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Don't talk about it anymore. She's either jealous or right, but either way the best course is to keep it private. I had my weight loss ruin a friendship, but I still chalk it up to her issue not mine.0
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Ketzalitzli2 wrote: »I'm kind of having the same issue with my sister but worse she lives with me and prepares the meals. So when I come home and its pizza, spaghetti, hot dogs, sodas ect., I'm like really?! She knows I'm really working on this for myself. But I learned to take it in stride and either decline what she makes or watch my portions and STILL loosing and feeling great! I'm doing this for me, no one else. She might think your being obsessed but its just happiness that you're doing something positive for yourself and that's a good thing! At least you have us! If you need a online buddy, add me up.. I'll cheer you on.
Awww thanx, much appreciated advise! ☺0 -
xmichaelyx wrote: »Quick tip: People who are "trying a diet" tend to fail; people who adopt a healthy lifestyle succeed. Forever.
Sorry about your friend.
Thank you..... I just wanted to shout from the roof top that I've managed to do something I thought was impossible for me...
Shout it here. We will cheer for you and you won't bug your friend.0 -
Sometimes even our best friends can't fulfill all the needs in our life. I think it is good that she can come to you and express her feelings and you take it quite seriously. You sound like a good friend. You will probably want to discuss with another friend who shares this particular interest. It doesn't diminish your relationship with your best friend. You are just branching out and growing as a person. As long as you two can still nurture the interests that made you best friends on the first place, I think you two will become even closer. And eventually, who knows, maybe you will be the inspiration for losing weight in the future.0
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Hey! Really well done losing weight! I know it's hard, and it does feel like a proud moment to realize it's possible.
Shine on, friend.
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cmriverside wrote: »Hey! Really well done losing weight! I know it's hard, and it does feel like a proud moment to realize it's possible.
Shine on, friend.
Thank you ☺0 -
Sometimes even our best friends can't fulfill all the needs in our life. I think it is good that she can come to you and express her feelings and you take it quite seriously. You sound like a good friend. You will probably want to discuss with another friend who shares this particular interest. It doesn't diminish your relationship with your best friend. You are just branching out and growing as a person. As long as you two can still nurture the interests that made you best friends on the first place, I think you two will become even closer. And eventually, who knows, maybe you will be the inspiration for losing weight in the future.
Thanks for ur advise. ..☺0 -
xmichaelyx wrote: »Quick tip: People who are "trying a diet" tend to fail; people who adopt a healthy lifestyle succeed. Forever.
Sorry about your friend.
Thank you..... I just wanted to shout from the roof top that I've managed to do something I thought was impossible for me...
Shout it here. We will cheer for you and you won't bug your friend.
Heehee! ☺ thanx0 -
Ur proud of ur achievement. A little bit of pride is not wrong in itself. But we must all remember that our friends are not our therapists....
Stop telling her about it coz she obviously does not understand... stick to groups that will support you.0 -
atsirk10195 wrote: »Ur proud of ur achievement. A little bit of pride is not wrong in itself. But we must all remember that our friends are not our therapists....
Stop telling her about it coz she obviously does not understand... stick to groups that will support you.
Thanks0 -
It is probably the fact that she couldn't make it on the plan and it upsets her to hear you actually succeeding. Maybe just lay off talking about your weight loss to that particular friend and just let her see with her own eyes the success you are having. You may be what she needs to get started back at it herself. Just focus on you. Only you live in your body and you have that body for the rest of your life, not your friend. Do what YOU need to do!0
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AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »Lesson learned Now! I am really excited that I have managed to lose so much weight and wanted to share with my best friend, I know for a fact she would have done the same, if it were the other way round.
I hadn't realised it can be annoying and no one really cares......Lesson Learned...Keep My Gob Shut...
Well, now you can always come here where this sort of excitement about weight loss is encouraged and welcome
I used to post progress photos on my Facebook page as I was losing weight, but I was afraid that people would start to get annoyed so I pretty much stopped. The last photo I posted was a few weeks ago with my before photo (at 213 pounds) and my after photo (137 pounds). I guess I'll have to shut up about it now...
I agree. I used to post things about my weight loss journey on FB as well and stopped doing it for the same reason. There are too many people on my friends list that are struggling with weight issues and those who just can't lose for whatever reason and I felt like they may be taking my happiness to be losing in the wrong way. Now I just post general things about weight loss and nutrition but nothing specific about myself. I come here to do that. And even on this site it's not always taken well but most people are very supportive. It depends on what size you are.
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You have to want to lose weight for you, and not care what anyone else's opinion is. That includes keeping it to yourself, unless specifically asked. I know that is difficult, when you're doing well you want to tell people about it....use your MFP friends list for that0
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CrabNebula wrote: »
Great, but there is going to become a point where just looking at her highlights the other one's failure. Is her getting or becoming a healthy weight period going to end the relationship at that point because of resentment?
It is very possible that in the long run if the OP continues to have success with weight loss this friendship will grow apart or end. But then that would be up to the two people involved. When people change themselves this often includes their relationships. Old friends fall away and new ones come along as your interests and lifestyle change.
If the OP values the relationship and wants to try to save it, it would be best not to be constantly shining a spotlight on another person's imperfections, by pointing out your own improvements, if the other person has shown by their reactions that this kind of motivation isn't welcome.
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