I need advice...

Hey Kim,

So I'm not sure if your story is similar to mine, but I will share. When my hubby (Chris) and I met eating was something we had in common. We both loved food, going out and often things we did together revolved around food and not healthy food. YEARS later, after we had our daughter I decided to change. I decided I wanted to be a good example for our daughter and I didn't want her to struggle with her weight like I did. I hope by raising her around healthy foods and healthy ideas around foods she will know how to have a better balance with healthy foods, sweets, junk etc then I've ever had. When I start changing the way I eat and the way I think about food, Chris didn't like it very much and he would resist. He had no desire to change how or what he ate (I know your situation is a little different then that) and he fought it and fought it hard. He finally admitted ( 2 1/2 years later) that on some level he was trying to sabotage me because he felt like he was going to lose me and I wouldn't want to be with him any more. After all, it was the main thing we had in common for a long time and honestly, food was a big part of our lives for a long time. He now knows that isn't the case and gotten a lot better and has stopped supporting me.

Ok, so I wanted to share that just to give you something to think about, if it relates to you. As far as junk in the house? It's not allowed. Yeah, I get that I should have self control and if I'm making "real" changes it should be something I work on, etc. but I work on it all day, I work on it while I'm at my parents, at the park with friends, at work, walking through the grocery store, ordering a drink at Starbucks, every where I go through out every day. I feel like I should have a safe place where I don't have to be in total control over it and where I can relax and let down my guard. Honestly, I'm still controlling my food issues even when I'm home without junk in the house. It takes control to not say yes to more bread, or even more chicken or rice, even if it's healthy doesn't mean I don't want 4 plates of it or that I won't eat 1200 calories at one meal :grumble: . I use our daughter as an excuse mostly. I don't want her to have the junk food and it's not fair to her that she sees the cookies, the candy, the chips, etc all the time and she can't have it all the time and he agrees. So he keeps it in his truck (it makes me laugh that I can know a huge bag of halloween candy is in his truck, which is parked right next to my car and I won't go out and get it) or eats while he's at work. He's gone 11 hours a day, 5 days a week so he has plenty of time to eat all the junk he wants. I've seen this topic around a lot of places, it was discussed at a Weight Watcher meeting not that long ago and most people seem to say that we should change, but I remember Chris saying he loved me and he will support me in sickness and in health and so many other ways, this is his way of showing me that. Nothing hurst more then when you ask someone you love and trust for help and they shoot you down.
I know this will workout Kim, just remember he feels stressed too and it's probably scary for both of you to move away. I'm here if you need to talk or text

Sorry for your situation, a couple of quick ideas for you:

*try "parallel" eating. Provide snacks for yourself that are satisfying while he is eating junk. For example, if he is eating Reeses, have some natural peanut butter. Something sweet? Try a piece of fruit or sugar-free jello. While you are tyring to lose weight, my personal opinion is that artificial sweeteners are okay in moderation - you can add the other stuff back in once you hit your goal weight!

*try asking him to bring in foods that you CAN stay out of, at first, if he can't give you some time without those things in the house.

*Good luck - we are all behind you!