Does the "Buddy-system" help?

iofred
iofred Posts: 488 Member
in Motivation and Support
I see loads of people asking for buddies on here, but I am not convinced it actually helps.
In the end it is all about commitment to yourself, and your own focus, and how much (and what) you want to get out of it, and although "friends" provide a good outlet, and can provide a point of focus as an example, I (personally) do not believe having buddies will make you succeed, where without them you would fail. The only time this (again imho) might not be true is if this is a "physical" buddy (same location) you can work this journey with. But hey, I might be completely wrong (and normally am)

Replies

  • TechOutside
    TechOutside Posts: 101 Member
    Well, Captain Obvious here, if you lack the self discipline to stay focused, then you likely will need the encouragement from someone else to keep you motivated, either in person or on line.

    I train alone, but I have have a few MFP friends that I watch and it does encourage me when they like my status, and it does help to stay motivated to watch someone else fighting and increasing their mileage, lowering their weight, just knowing that they are able to continue to do it, then so should I. Especially on those plateau days, or down days, I then yell at myself internally for being a big baby and to go get the job done... But that's me.

    I don't know, it's small, but sometimes even the Alpha needs a break and the little extra push keeps everything on track.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    I think it does, especially if you have a buddy who is doing it right, with focus, intensity, will, purpose, and success.
  • Big5BigChange
    Big5BigChange Posts: 56 Member
    I think it also depends on the type of person you are. I actually find the burden of other people's journeys, a bit overwhelming (I've never had an FB, twitter or Instagram account either). I don't want to deal with it and prefer to only dip occasionally into the forums like this, to find my motivation. This works for me because I can give support and receive support when I ask for it - rather than pressure myself to commit to any particular friend on an ongoing basis (this is why I decline friendship requests everyone...sorry - "it's not you, it's me"). In this respect, I'm kind of with you iofred.

    Even worse, I actually thought I was doing the wrong thing and not getting "into the spirit" of MFP by "going it alone" and ignoring the buddy functionality. Lots of people would rave about what great friends they had and how they couldn't have completed their goals without them. That sounded, great - so I started an effort to make some friends. As predicted, as soon as I had a "crowd", I became terrified of MFP and feeling "responsible" for my friends' journeys, as they demanded responses to their rants and personal problems. I couldn't cope with it. I ended up dumping my account and starting a new one (happily, friend-free). On the other hand, I believe those of you out there who say that it is your friends on here who have kept you going through the bad times and celebrated with you in the good. Moral of the story is simple - do what works for you - and trust your instinct. MFP is flexible - so, use that flexibility to your benefit. Don't force it either way.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    iofred wrote: »
    I see loads of people asking for buddies on here, but I am not convinced it actually helps.
    In the end it is all about commitment to yourself, and your own focus, and how much (and what) you want to get out of it, and although "friends" provide a good outlet, and can provide a point of focus as an example, I (personally) do not believe having buddies will make you succeed, where without them you would fail. The only time this (again imho) might not be true is if this is a "physical" buddy (same location) you can work this journey with. But hey, I might be completely wrong (and normally am)

    I think it can be very helpful but is not pivitol to success to have friends here.
    When I was starting out here it was inspiring to have active friends with similar stats and goals on my friend list- similar goals might be a key. I wasn't collecting the most friends or accepting ever request. If I saw friend A worked out daily and friend B logged every day for months then I felt more like I could do it too. It was helpful to see food diaries of people eating real food instead of shakes or bars.
    I didn't really need or want a physical buddy. I did not speak about weight loss to people I knew.
    After doing this over a year I don't check in with my friend list as much.

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