My spouse doesn't get it

Can you maybe look at recipes together and cook together, perhaps make some of both your favourites trying out substitutes for ingredients to get similar tastes - it could be a bit of a challenge

might be best to incorporate some fruits with breakfast and only eat 1/2 of what the serving is she cooked

why not research healthy versions of apple pies or together make small apple tarts that can be frozen. Also I found a recipe for gellato and kashi waffles (sort of like an ice cream sandwich). I'm sure if you ask her to make things for you she would. She justs wants to show you how much she cares and loves you. Please dont take offense to her generosity, you just need to show her a different way of doing it. Maybe you can cook/bake together?

Talk to her, tell her to cook you something healthy. Thats what I did with my husband. But now we eat totally different things, as he doesnt need to lose weight. Your wife is trying to make you happy by cooking tasty food, so dont be hard on her, just explain.

It's the thought that count. Don't shoot :laugh: I think it is time for you to have a heart to heart with her. You need to tell her, although you love her cooking, you are trying to eat healthy, and she should save it for times when you can be prepared, like a birthday or maybe when you are going to a pot luck and the left overs can be left behind. One thought on the pancakes is the ricotta cheese does add protien and may slow down the spike in your blood sugar. I haven't had pancakes since last year. I don't really miss them either.

Best wishes

you should have spit it out, tossing the plate on the floor and told her to get her *kitten* back into the kitchen!




That or... you could really explain to her how hard you are working to be more healthy and how much it means to you to have her help you out. Ask her to help you find some extra healthy pancake recipes, especially since she is such a good cook you are sure she can make them taste delicious.

Does anyone else have this problem? My spouse is very encouraging when it comes to my weight loss, but when she cooks for me (which thankfully isn't often) she will put the most sugary and caloric ingredients she can find. For instance, this morning she decided to cook pancakes. This is a fairly high calorie breakfast to begin with. So I sit down at the table and measure out my teaspoon of maple syrup, and, as I am about to put a bite in my mouth, she tells me that she put a large helping of baked ricotta in the pancakes. Now my breakfast is about 750 calories, and she doesn't even ask before she adds it.
She loves to bake apple pies and make sweet ice creams with high fat content, and when I don't want to eat them, she whines about how she made this stuff to show she loves me, and pouts.
I don't know what to do!

Yes, what has your conversations been like? Either she in misinformed, isn't as encouraging (seems like sabotaging) whether she realizes it or not. Does she worry about her health and weight?

Honestly though, you better sit her down, whining and pouting isn't mature, especially when you're trying to accomplish something like this.

Im still wandering what Baked Ricotta is

I'm sure he HAS spoken with her, thus the frustration. If he's anything like me- the obsessive change is annoying and wifey is well-aware. so another conversation is not an option.

My wife does the same stuff like lasagnas or meals that are all carbs and meat with no veggies or bakes my favorite brownies or cookies whathaveyou. It is their way of showing they care. I just don't finish it, or eat less than what she makes and supplement with healthy additions (fruit or veggies or lean cheeses). Then I give her a kiss and say thank you for taking care of me.

Definitely cook with her versus challenging her cooking. Someone can cook for you but its rude to decline what they make. Always remember that she doesn't HAVE to cook for you, but she cooks for you willingly. Offer to cook breakfast with her rather than have breakfast waiting for you. Im not insinuating but I've intentionally made my boyfriends food more fattening because he never wanted to cook with me.

I agree with hockeyman, about the additional conversation. No doubt you have communicated to her plenty, rarely have I ever known anyone to undertake this journey in silence where their family are concerned.

I have known people who are intentionally sabotaging of others efforts because they are threatened by the change in their significant other or friend or whatever, either because they feel insecure in their own bodies and don't want to feel more so by seeing you make improvements in yours or because they are afraid that your physical change might be accompanied by other kinds of changes that they won't be able to handle. Sometimes it's a simple matter of jealousy and wondering what might happen if you become more attractive to other people. If you need to have another conversation, maybe it should be about that rather than the food.

As far as the food, I would say if she makes you high calorie pancakes and gives you 3 pancakes that are 750 calories, you put two of them back and eat one. You explain to her in the most loving way possible that you love the pancakes and appreciate her making them for you, but unfortunately because of their high caloric content you can only have one of them and stay within your calorie allowance for the day. If she whines, she whines. If you do that consistently and don't give in she'll get it eventually.

I think that people who don't go through it will never fully understand. She might not realize how much of an effect that can have on your day and how you feel. I like the suggestion of learning some lower calorie treats to cook together. She can still cook for you and you can eat it guilt free!

Thanks to you all for your advice. However, hockeyman is right. I've had this conversation more than once. It always ends with her pouting and saying she was just trying to do something nice and I don't appreciate it.
Luckily, I do most of the cooking. Contrary to what some of you seem to think, I don't demand that my breakfast be waiting for me. Sometimes she likes to cook me breakfast to be nice, but 9 times out of 10 I make my own breakfast. I cook most of the dinners, etc.
I know she's trying to please me, I'm just at my wits end here.

Then don't actually have the conversation again. Just do things to work around it and let your actions lead her in the right direction. Besides cooking together, maybe you can ask her to join MFP too? Even if she does not want to lose weight, setting up and having a diary would be educational for her. You can tell her that this would be a really good way to support you and show her love. By doing other things, maybe she will eventually find out that there are many other ways she can show you she loves you - ways that do not involve food at all.