I don't have a choice now and it is scaring me.....
all_4_my_son
Posts: 8 Member
I have been on a "weight loss" journey for as long as I can remember. I have went up and down over the last 12 years (since my son was born) and lost a lot of weight, gain it back, lost it, gained it back, etc. I'm currently 42 years old and 298 pounds - it's an awful feeling.
What's worse about it this time around is I have absolutely NO choice but to lose this weight and do it now. They just found a blockage in my heart on a CT scan last week. The blockage is in the left anterior descending artery and is known as the "widowmaker". My liver enzymes are also elevated as is my cholesterol and glucose.
And the sad thing is - I knew exactly what I was doing. My father died at 52 from coronary artery disease and heart failure and weighed almost 500 pounds. I knew how this would turn out for me if I didn't change things and I just sat there, on my a**, doing nothing.
I feel like it is too late to rectify this situation and that is what scares me the most. I feel like I am living with a ticking time bomb in my chest, which is just waiting to explode.
I'm having a pity party, I know, but this really scares me. I was 32 when I lost my dad and it wrecked my world - I can't imagine being my son and possibly losing his mom at 12.
I don't know what to do....ugh
What's worse about it this time around is I have absolutely NO choice but to lose this weight and do it now. They just found a blockage in my heart on a CT scan last week. The blockage is in the left anterior descending artery and is known as the "widowmaker". My liver enzymes are also elevated as is my cholesterol and glucose.
And the sad thing is - I knew exactly what I was doing. My father died at 52 from coronary artery disease and heart failure and weighed almost 500 pounds. I knew how this would turn out for me if I didn't change things and I just sat there, on my a**, doing nothing.
I feel like it is too late to rectify this situation and that is what scares me the most. I feel like I am living with a ticking time bomb in my chest, which is just waiting to explode.
I'm having a pity party, I know, but this really scares me. I was 32 when I lost my dad and it wrecked my world - I can't imagine being my son and possibly losing his mom at 12.
I don't know what to do....ugh
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Replies
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all_4_my_son wrote: »
I don't know what to do....ugh
Yes you do. If this isn't a wake up call, nothing is.
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You can do this. It's never too late to try.0
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If you have not done so already, seek a therapist. Immediately. You need support in this.0
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Not too late.. Talk with your doctor, ask about omega 3s.. Talk to a nutritionist. Take it slow, dont stress, small changes add up.. This is a great place for help and support. God bless you, start your journey.0
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It is not too late to lose weight and improve your health.
I let my weight go up and down for 15 years until I was obese, in pain, couldn't walk a few blocks, out of breath climbing stairs in my house. I knew better also. I saw my obese mom stuckin a chair her last years before she died of cancer and still didn't lose weight. I have a teenage daughter and I didn't do it for her either.
Finally I said, "*kitten* this. I'm only 40. I deserve to live a full healthy life." I came to MFP the next day. I set up an account. I had little confidence. I ate at the calorie goal I was told to lose 1 lb a week. I logged everything. I started preogging my whole day. I ate normal food just appropriate portion sizes. No crazy super restrictive diet or intense exercise plans. I started with walking and seated workout videos on you tube for obese and elderly people. It wasn't sexy but my fitness level improved.
I lost at that 1 lb rate and then maintained for awhile. I'm down 25 lbs and my quality of life is so much better. My pain is gone. I keep up with my family when we walk places. I do more things. I've been at it for over a year and I'm ready to lose some more. I am still 9 lbs overweight and 20-30 lbs from my ideal weight.
It will take time but every pound you lose and keep off is an improvement. You can do this. In a year with just eating the right calories you could lose 50 lbs or more.1 -
Dude. There is no fear on this earth like the panic that sets in after a choice is taken from you, and no pain like regret for not helping yourself from your current situation. I'm very sorry to hear about your issue.
That being said, you're in the right place. You have doctors that are aware of your diagnosis, and can help point you to the kinds of resources that will help you. Listen to THEM (doctors, dietitians, trainers) over people on mfp. This is a great place for moral support, but the professionals working with you are the closest to the truth.
So first things first!
speak with your doctor and ask how much physical activity your heart can handle. This way, you can manage your body without hurting it. next, ask your doctor to recommend you to a dietitian, not a nutritionist (one has a degree, one does not). Get with your new dietitian and have them break down the basics of nutrition for you, have the help you formulate a meal plan that will help you both shed weight and heal any damage to your heart. Once you have that plan, stick to it. Throw out the snacks, replace all food in your house with things that will help you, not hurt you. It helps eliminate cravings if you're not staring down the calorie-rich nutrient-dry stuff all day. Fizzy waters in place of sodas, mixed nuts instead of chips, etc. Making the switch is difficult, but worth it.
Finally, wait. It takes a very long time for a healthy body to shed weight, and in your situation, it's going to be even tougher. You may have to wait for the diet to cut your weight before you are "allowed" to exercise, if your condition is looming. It's going to be hard. But hard doesn't mean impossible, and you can do this. You raised a KID, the hardest job in history. You've got this. Sure it took a kick in the pants, but you're gonna pull through this because you have the power to arm yourself with the tools you need. And everyone on this site is cheering for you.3 -
I'm right there with you. My max weight was 220 and I didn't start gaining until my job set me in an office all day. I started with some serious supplements from the dr. I had a fatty liver disease and needed to drop my triglycerides and increase my good cholesterol. The only thing to do was diet and exercise. So far I'm down 32 lbs., but my bloodwork looks great. Find some motivational friends who keep you going, and you are headed in the right direction. There is no miracle cure out there. You will work and pretty soon, you will like it. Stay motivated and keep logging. I found that once I actually started tracking the food I put in my mouth, I was more accountable to myself. My father died at 54 and I was 21. I've been on a roller coaster for years, but it helps to have accountability buddies. I'm sending you a friend request.
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Your son should be motivation enough.0
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You do have a choice and it sounds like you are making it. You are choosing yourself (and your son). A good first step. Relish that. Take it one step at a time. I'd invite you to keep a journal. Everyday, the first line could be "Today, I'm choosing to ..." examples:
- not beat myself up for my weight
- take a walk around the block
- make a meal plan and shopping list for the week
- talk to a non-judgemental and supportive friend about my plan and seek their support and, if possible, their help (walking together, etc).
all best,
SBS1 -
It's never too late. Work out a plan with your doctor. Maybe see a licensed dietician as well. The hardest part is always the first step, but having a plan makes it easier. Relatively speaking, that is! Keep telling yourself it's not just for you, it's also for your son.0
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It's not too late. Become passionate about YOUR life. Make it the best you can from here on out. Believe me, even when older it's never easy to watch a parent give up. I'm 47, my mom is 69 and she is going to die. Type II diabetes, heart failure, weight, she's a ticking time bomb and will not work on anything except making sure she has the little disabled parking pass. It's literally heartbreaking for me to have to sit back and just watch it. Every time I suggest anything about her nutrition, it's "oh ya ya ya" in one ear and out the other.
This is YOUR time to take your life back. You CAN do it, but you must want to fight for it. Don't do it for your son. Do it for YOU. You deserve better health and a happy life.0 -
all_4_my_son wrote: »I don't know what to do....ugh
Of course you do. You know exactly what to do. Eat right, lose weight, exercise regularly.
Change is often hard so don't expect it to be easy, and don't expect to be perfect. But no matter how many setbacks you have, just keep getting back to it. You can do it. Nobody can do it for you.0 -
southbaysonia wrote: »You do have a choice and it sounds like you are making it. You are choosing yourself (and your son). A good first step. Relish that. Take it one step at a time. I'd invite you to keep a journal. Everyday, the first line could be "Today, I'm choosing to ..." examples:
- not beat myself up for my weight
- take a walk around the block
- make a meal plan and shopping list for the week
- talk to a non-judgemental and supportive friend about my plan and seek their support and, if possible, their help (walking together, etc).
all best,
SBS
This is a fantastic idea, especially for the times you may get discouraged. You can look back and see all that you've accomplished.
Start with small changes, go easy and learn to forgive yourself...you CAN do this! You have the tools and support right here. What an inspiration you can be to your son,too!1 -
thank you everyone for your motivation and support - you do not know how much I appreciate it!1
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all_4_my_son wrote: »I have been on a "weight loss" journey for as long as I can remember. I have went up and down over the last 12 years (since my son was born) and lost a lot of weight, gain it back, lost it, gained it back, etc. I'm currently 42 years old and 298 pounds - it's an awful feeling.
What's worse about it this time around is I have absolutely NO choice but to lose this weight and do it now. They just found a blockage in my heart on a CT scan last week. The blockage is in the left anterior descending artery and is known as the "widowmaker". My liver enzymes are also elevated as is my cholesterol and glucose.
And the sad thing is - I knew exactly what I was doing. My father died at 52 from coronary artery disease and heart failure and weighed almost 500 pounds. I knew how this would turn out for me if I didn't change things and I just sat there, on my a**, doing nothing.
I feel like it is too late to rectify this situation and that is what scares me the most. I feel like I am living with a ticking time bomb in my chest, which is just waiting to explode.
I'm having a pity party, I know, but this really scares me. I was 32 when I lost my dad and it wrecked my world - I can't imagine being my son and possibly losing his mom at 12.
I don't know what to do....ugh
Good thing is everyday you eat at a deficit is another step towards getting better. It doesn't take long for a change in how you eat to start benefiting you. You know exactly what to do, your path couldn't be any clearer.0 -
I've walked the cliff's edge, too, and beat myself up for past failures. The blame doesn't help. Neither does useless anxiety. You can remain frozen at that cliff's edge, scaring yourself to death, or you can take a single step towards health. Every decision you make, every day, can lead you away from your terror.
I suggest deliberately taking a different approach this time, as you have done the yo-yo dieting before and it hasn't helped. I suggest small changes, that you write down in a goal book, and re-assess every week. I suggest that weight loss NOT be a goal, but rather permanent life changes. As in, weighing all your food this week, as a first step.
http://www.nwcr.ws/stories.htm0 -
Beating yourself up doesn't burn any calories. It's time to get to work.
My suggestion is to focus on developing better habits one or two at a time. Once something becomes a part of your routine, you can add a new habit.0 -
If you're still breathing it's not too late! You're stronger than you think;) Thank God for that heartbeat in your chest and that He has a purpose for your life:) You've got this:) The first step is always the hardest.0
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You're not in the hospital yet--so you've got some time. Use it and get your health on track. You should be under a doctor's care, but please don't delay. Get started now.0
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You DO know what to do. I have confidence in you.0
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It's not to late. You know what to do. Just don't jump into the highest intensity exercises.0
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First of all, given your father's problems, you were almost certainly raised with unhealthy attitudes about food. To a large extent, it's not your fault. And even if it was, all that maters is what you do tomorrow. Let your son see you learn new habits and take care of yourself. Every day you do that will matter.0
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Dude. There is no fear on this earth like the panic that sets in after a choice is taken from you, and no pain like regret for not helping yourself from your current situation. I'm very sorry to hear about your issue.
That being said, you're in the right place. You have doctors that are aware of your diagnosis, and can help point you to the kinds of resources that will help you. Listen to THEM (doctors, dietitians, trainers) over people on mfp. This is a great place for moral support, but the professionals working with you are the closest to the truth.
So first things first! speak with your doctor and ask how much physical activity your heart can handle. This way, you can manage your body without hurting it. next, ask your doctor to recommend you to a dietitian, not a nutritionist (one has a degree, one does not). Get with your new dietitian and have them break down the basics of nutrition for you, have the help you formulate a meal plan that will help you both shed weight and heal any damage to your heart. Once you have that plan, stick to it. Throw out the snacks, replace all food in your house with things that will help you, not hurt you. It helps eliminate cravings if you're not staring down the calorie-rich nutrient-dry stuff all day. Fizzy waters in place of sodas, mixed nuts instead of chips, etc. Making the switch is difficult, but worth it.
Finally, wait. It takes a very long time for a healthy body to shed weight, and in your situation, it's going to be even tougher. You may have to wait for the diet to cut your weight before you are "allowed" to exercise, if your condition is looming. It's going to be hard. But hard doesn't mean impossible, and you can do this. You raised a KID, the hardest job in history. You've got this. Sure it took a kick in the pants, but you're gonna pull through this because you have the power to arm yourself with the tools you need. And everyone on this site is cheering for you.
I am loving this anwer. I have almost nothing to add. Create a support network on here, believe in yourself, do it for your son, for yourself, for both, for whatever works. You have the tools to do it and you NEED to do it, but best of all you CAN do it, we are all doing it. Feel free to add me for support if you want. Sending you positive thoughts x0 -
I highly recommend reading Dr Michael Greger (MD) book How Not To Die.
"It examines the fifteen top causes of death in America—heart disease, various cancers, diabetes, Parkinson’s, high blood pressure, and more—and explains how nutritional and lifestyle interventions can sometimes trump prescription pills and other pharmaceutical and surgical approaches, freeing us to live healthier lives"
I have read the book, the information is literally life changing and it makes the journey to a healthier life nearly idiot proof. Dr. Greger breaks down the foods you should eat every day, and how much, to see the best health results based on science. Not bro-science, REAL science, all claims have the studies cited.
If you aren't down for buying the book, check out some of the talks he has done - "Food as Medicine"0 -
tiffanifair wrote: »If you're still breathing it's not too late! You're stronger than you think;) Thank God for that heartbeat in your chest and that He has a purpose for your life:) You've got this:) The first step is always the hardest.
That
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I have a MFP friend who weighed 700 lbs......Yes ,you read right SEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS........he has been diligent and has been thru lots of medical issues, BUT HE IS HANGIN IN THERE.........he is now at 280 and looks great, but wants to lose about 65 lbs and he will be happy.........
you only need to lose about 90 lbs........he has to lose 500 lbs to his desired goals.......can you imagine
and he is older than you
just be patient, COMMIT to it and this time next year you will be so happy with your loss......best wishes0 -
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/profile/TannunisFred
check out his profile....hes a nice guy, friend him, he will support you....he has been thru the ringer, yet he lost 420 lbs..............best wishes, you can do it0 -
OP - of course you are scared, that's only natural and it sounds like you feel everything is spiraling out of your control, with your heart problem it's causing old fears and memories to slap you down hard.
As you yourself have said you are an experienced dieter...you have history with losing and regaining and that believe it or not gives you an advantage. Use this wake-up call time to critically assess why your previous methods didn't work for you and implement change that is sustainable.
Use whatever resources are available to you so you can be an active and informed participant on your road to recovering you health. As this will empower you and help you realize that you most definitely DO have the capacity to change your life around.
Seek counselling if that is appropriate to deal with these overwhelming negative thoughts and the anxiety. Listen to your Dr's and don't be afraid to ask questions about what you can do to help them help you. Get the help of a dietitian if it's needed. Use MFP correctly. Incorporate sustainable small steps everyday and most importantly step back from spiraling down into self-blame and panic, that won't help you.
I wish you all the best.
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all_4_my_son wrote: »I feel like it is too late to rectify this situation and that is what scares me the most. I feel like I am living with a ticking time bomb in my chest, which is just waiting to explode.
I'm having a pity party, I know, but this really scares me. I was 32 when I lost my dad and it wrecked my world - I can't imagine being my son and possibly losing his mom at 12.
I don't know what to do....ugh
Weight loss, healthy eating, and doctor approved exercise may be in order but first you need to get your stress levels under control. You said you're really scared and high levels of stress, anxiety and depression are not good for your heart. If you don't have someone to talk to and relax with, find someone. Maybe a church, a community event. or a therapist. You can get all the diet advice (like how the Mediterranean diet is good for the heart) and exercise advice (how yoga is relaxing) you need from people on MFP but being able to relax and not let your problems stress you out is super important.0 -
A thought that was meaningful to me (read it somewhere)....Losing 10% is an improvement in health. Another 10% even better and so on. Break it down and know that each stage is worth it. It's not just at goal weight where the health benefits happen. It's along the way too.0
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