difficult time eating "clean" and no cheating!

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  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
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    Step one in losing weight is finding what is sustainable for you over the short term and long term. This doesn't sound like it works for you in any circumstance. So...
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    sublimebutterfly wrote: »
    positivepowers wrote: »
    Seriously, if you can't sustain the program what good is it? It sounds like your cousin has set you up to fail. Is your cousin a trainer or a doctor or something?


    She is starting out becoming a personal trainer, and has been successful with a few other people. So, I trust her, but at the same time I feel like I need some regular "reward" if I'm going to succeed. For example, It would be good to have a couple drinks on Friday nights. Or maybe I'm just not disciplined enough. I want to be strong- but it is hard.

    Let your cousin know that cookie cutter plans will not help her get clients. In a polite way obviously :) Depending on preferences, lifestyle and goals, different things work for different people, both in diet and exercise. When she is making a plan for a paying customer, she needs to adapt the plan to this person. Thank her, then forget about it and do what you feel is sustainable for you.
  • VintageFeline
    VintageFeline Posts: 6,771 Member
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    A good PT will make sure that the plan they offer is tailored to the individual client. One that the client can happily maintain in the long term. It is absolutely not necessary to cut anything from your diet and from a psychological point of view, it can be incredibly worthwhile making the things you love regularly fit into your goals. I eat all kinds of junk pretty regularly. I also eat plenty of veggie sand lean meats. I have the odd drink, slice of cake and have take out often. I still lose weight because it all fits into my goals.

    If you're miserable it's never going to work, so do what's necessary to not be miserable and still lose.
  • schwenkler22
    schwenkler22 Posts: 61 Member
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    sublimebutterfly wrote: »
    positivepowers wrote: »
    Seriously, if you can't sustain the program what good is it? It sounds like your cousin has set you up to fail. Is your cousin a trainer or a doctor or something?


    She is starting out becoming a personal trainer, and has been successful with a few other people. So, I trust her, but at the same time I feel like I need some regular "reward" if I'm going to succeed. For example, It would be good to have a couple drinks on Friday nights. Or maybe I'm just not disciplined enough. I want to be strong- but it is hard.

    It truly is up to you to choose what you want most. You CAN have alcohol, cake, icecream, everything under the sun, but fit it into your daily calories! It's as simple as that. If this is something you will quit, then it's not right for you. Find what is right for you while still progressing, even if it is at a slower rate.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    does your cousin not like you?

    no cheat days, no alcohol, low carb clean sounds like they don't.
  • MommyMeggo
    MommyMeggo Posts: 1,222 Member
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    Just wanted to add...if you are starting strength training start taking measurements every 2-4 weeks in addition to the scale.
    And Ill piggy back... if its not a sustainable process/lifestyle then your results typically wont be sustained either.
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
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    It doesn't have to be miserable. While I'm sure your cousin means well, she is wrong about having to eat "clean" and not have anything you like. Set a calorie goal on MFP and do your best to stay within it. I have drinks on the weekends, go out to eat at restaurants, have donuts at work, etc... and have no problem losing (or now, maintaining) my weight. It's all about staying in a deficit, not food choices. Some foods will help you feel full for longer, will be more satisfying, but that doesn't mean you can't have the other stuff, too.
  • ReaderGirl3
    ReaderGirl3 Posts: 868 Member
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    raindawg wrote: »
    It has nothing to do with low carb eating, weight training, etc. It's calories in / Calories out. Accurately log your calories, eat at a deficit and you will lose weight. You can have alcohol and the other foods you like, as long as they fit your calories. You probably just can't have as much as you had before, but you can still have them when they fit.

    This. Cutting out the foods you enjoy is just setting yourself up for frustration and failure. If you can't even stick with it during the relatively short weight loss period, how are you going to stick with it for the years and years of maintenance that follows?

    Continue eating the foods you like, start accurately tracking, pay attention to portion sizes (food scale is a really good idea ), and then stay within your calora goals (MFP figures this out for you ). That's all that's needed for weight loss. You also don't need to exercise if you're not enjoying it. Or go back to doing the exercise that you liked doing before your cousin got involved.
  • benzieboxx
    benzieboxx Posts: 253 Member
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    For me, eating "clean" sounds great on paper, but it is not something I'd be able to sustain over a period of time. I'm sorry but I like eating all foods. I don't like programs that notate something as a "bad food" or "good food". I have a lot of friends who are always jumping in and off the clean eating train because they can't seem to sustain it for more than a month. Why would you do something that is very obviously hard for you? I mean, yeah it works for some people but it's okay if it doesn't work for you. I would try to just do a regular calorie deficit. Eat the foods you like to eat and don't worry about being "clean". Whatever that's supposed to mean.
  • elaineamj
    elaineamj Posts: 347 Member
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    TennesseeJen wrote: »
    Heeeey- they changed my naughty word to "kitten." Big butt appetite is what I meant. I don't eat cat. "Big kitten appetite" sounds even naughtier MFP. Just saying.

    I've been WONDERING about the whole kitten thing for the last couple of days. I figured out pretty quickly it was substitute, but I thought it was an insider joke on here or something that I missed. Most websites just ** out any undesirable words :)
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Get rid of the 'reward' mentality first. You do NOT deserve a food reward for sticking to your plan for a few days. You however can absolutely fit a beer or two in your calories if you really want to.

    As people said, if it's already hard for you after a couple weeks, it's not sustainable long term. Find a sustainable plan... because you're going to be stuck with it forever (there's no magic that happens when you're at your goal weight, you still have to stick to your plan, just with a few more calories).
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    I_Will_End_You wrote: »
    It doesn't have to be miserable. While I'm sure your cousin means well, she is wrong about having to eat "clean" and not have anything you like. Set a calorie goal on MFP and do your best to stay within it. I have drinks on the weekends, go out to eat at restaurants, have donuts at work, etc... and have no problem losing (or now, maintaining) my weight. It's all about staying in a deficit, not food choices. Some foods will help you feel full for longer, will be more satisfying, but that doesn't mean you can't have the other stuff, too.

    All of this. I'm another who lost the weight I set out to lose and an maintaining that 30 lb loss. I never gave up wine or any other foods I enjoy.

    A program that makes you miserable won't be sustainable, and no offense to your cousin but it sounds like she needs to revamp her approach if she wants to be successful building and maintaining a client base.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    Having someone who you consider to be a voice of authority to monitor you could be beneficial in the short run at least. Is there a compromise arrangement? How about telling her you only want to lose .5lb/week to take the pressure off?

    If adhering to ANY plan, even one with a small deficit is a problem for you, I'm here to argue that dedication trumps consistency. You can still get to where you want to go as long as you don't quit. Follow any plan you want (your cousin's or one you devise for yourself), but try to consider "slip ups" part of the process, rather than something to stress over. I have convinced myself that slow weight loss is the best choice for me. Maybe it is for you too.
  • mburgess458
    mburgess458 Posts: 480 Member
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    I don't understand how "clean" eating has jack squat to do with weight loss. To me eating "clean" is about health. To me eating "clean" = eating healthy... no junk food, no fast food, more veggies, etc. Overeating "clean" foods WILL lead to weight gain, but it would be healthier than getting fat from junk food.
  • cathipa
    cathipa Posts: 2,991 Member
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    The closer you get to your goal weight the slower it will be for you to lose. If you are losing at least 0.5 pounds a week you are still losing.
  • Mentali
    Mentali Posts: 352 Member
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    mburgess458 wrote: »
    I don't understand how "clean" eating has jack squat to do with weight loss. To me eating "clean" is about health. To me eating "clean" = eating healthy... no junk food, no fast food, more veggies, etc. Overeating "clean" foods WILL lead to weight gain, but it would be healthier than getting fat from junk food.

    Two things:

    1. People tend to distinguish between health and weight loss on this site. One style of eating may give a better rounded diet as far as nutrition goes, and may result for some people in feeling fuller or having more energy or any number of nice things, but any style of eating can result in weight loss. It can be very motivating to know that you're not required to cut out all the foods you love just because they're not "clean."
    2. There is no objective definition of "clean" and for many things not in that category, there's nothing wrong with them. Some people think clean eating is all organic, no GMO, wild-raised meat (or no meat at all). Some people think clean eating is buying all your ingredients fresh and cooking every meal yourself. Some people think clean eating is buying food from the grocery store instead of a fast food place, no matter what kind of food you buy. Some people think frozen food is "clean" but canned food isn't. Some people actually think a certain amount of the food you eat you should grow yourself or else it's not clean. The definition of junk food is just as vague. It also doesn't help that you don't have to cut out "dirty" things to lose weight, and that insisting on this style of eating often ends in binges and weight gain for those that are miserable giving up those things for the rest of their lives.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    mburgess458 wrote: »
    I don't understand how "clean" eating has jack squat to do with weight loss. To me eating "clean" is about health. To me eating "clean" = eating healthy... no junk food, no fast food, more veggies, etc.

    That's not what it normally means. After all, if you mean "eat a healthy diet" why not say that?

    It normally means cutting out "processed" foods (processed foods including things like plain greek yogurt and smoked salmon, although people often seem to employ in in a strange and non-standard way). Sometimes it means eating according to a particular diet (no "white" foods, like those (sarcasm) awful potatoes, following paleo rules, no animal products, whatever). Basically, who knows.

    But even if it meant eating no fast food or junk food, eating those foods in moderation isn't going to affect overall weight or health. (I don't care for most fast food, but I seriously doubt eating occasional ice cream after dinner is going to make me less healthy, and I did it more while losing weight than I did while gaining.)

    I am very interested in nutrition and health and fitness (which is aided by good nutrition), and I don't think a focus on "eating clean" (i.e., on what you don't eat or some odd idea about "processed"=bad) is a good approach to get there. I think the focus ought to be on what you do eat, and as a side effect of that you don't really have room to eat less nutrient dense foods other than in moderation or on occasion in some cases.

    But in any case, that something is good for health doesn't make it always enough for weight loss (and if one is obese weight loss is the best thing most can do for health).
  • endlessfall16
    endlessfall16 Posts: 932 Member
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    trjjoy wrote: »
    endlessfall16 wrote: »
    trjjoy wrote: »
    Weight loss doesn't necessarily get slower once we are near our goal. Our body doesn't know how much weight we want to lose. It depends on what our current weight's maintenance calories are, and it depends on the calorie deficit we're working with.

    Actually not necessary. When you have very few lbs to lose, your body will feel lousy, eg dizzy, if you are too aggressive with deficit. That's how you know. There seems to be a bottom with the daily requirement for one's particular lifestyle.

    (I'm 5 lbs from reaching normal bmi. I could do 2+ lbs drop / week but I better not! I'm very keen with observation :))

    Who mentioned or suggested ANYTHING about doing an aggressive deficit to lose weight? Again, let me say the following: your body doesn't know how much weight you want to lose. It depends on what our current weight's maintenance calories are, and it depends on the calorie deficit we're working with.

    But that's what your post implied (whether you were aware or not) by saying "Weight loss doesn't necessarily get slower once we are near our goal. Our body doesn't know .." If we kept going at the same speed we started out when we were very overweight, it'd be detrimental. That's what I want to say.
  • ASKyle
    ASKyle Posts: 1,475 Member
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    Quit labeling foods as good bad and clean.

    Eat what you want at a calorie deficit. WEIGH your foods. Make the alcohol and treats fit into that daily goal number.

    The reason you keep restarting your diet is because you're trying methods that aren't sustainable.

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