Advice needed. Please read.

katiely95 · April 2016

Good Morning, Everyone.

I'm making this post because I need it and I don't know where else to admit this. On February 8th, when I ended my fitness program on Fitness Blender, I had went from 127.8 lbs all the way down to 116.4, which was very, very close to my goal of 113.5 that I have set myself since the beginning. Being so close to my goal, I was excited to start the two new programs that I had bought, booty boot camp and fab abs. I had planned to finish those 2 out and be done with my goal. I started the first few days, and I lost all motivation as my life got more busy. And I thought, hey, I can maintain for awhile, and then I just ate whatever I wanted. I stopped caring about calories, but continued to eat moderately healthy until the past month, where I noticed the scale was sitting going up, and I gave up. I just got on the scale a couple of day ago to see that in 2 short months, I have gained... Almost 15 lbs. I was shocked, and distraught. I had worked so hard to almost hit my goal, and I've completely back fired. I weigh more now than when I started the 2 month program 4 months ago...

I decided to start eating healthy and working out again. I remember how much I loved the challenge, but also how horrible I felt eating the 1200 or less calories a day and how I always wanted to just eat whatever my boyfriend ate, who is 6 foot and been 140 lbs no matter how much this child eats.

As I started up working out again today, watching my body in the mirror and struggling with the easiest of HIIT workouts that I could blow through months before, I've felt like an absolute failure.

I just wish I had someone in my life who felt the same; who would work out with me daily and help keep me on track. I'm the type of person who has always had to do everything for myself, on my own... This is just one thing I wish I had support in.

I know this probably sounds like a whole bunch of whining, but I've serious just lost hope. What are the best ways to keep motivated for months, or even years? I want to be healthy, and beautiful, and not feel so groggy and un-energized all the time. It's just, every time, I lose the motivation and end up right back where I started. How can I stick with it? How do you all make this a life style change that you want to keep up with this for years on end, especially with super busy lives?

Answer however you'd like... I just really need some support right now...

janejellyroll · April 2016

Can you try to reconstruct what "went wrong" so that you can avoid it next time? For example, did you cut too many fun foods from your diet, was your plan not flexible enough, were you not enjoying your workouts? Is your calorie goal not realistic (1,200 or less is really, really low for someone who is also exercising)? If you figure out why you couldn't stay on plan, you can use that information to build a new plan, one you can sustain for life.

RosieRose7673 · April 2016

Awww. Honestly, I kind of did the same thing for a few months a while back. Always ate whatever my boyfriend was eating and going out to eat quite often. I slacked on the exercise. Didn't completely eliminate it. I gained about 10 lbs. I was at maintenance and doing very well with it before.

Something in me finally clicked. I just remember how great I felt working out, eating better and being happy at the weight I was at. Then I just started forcing myself to hit the gym and start limiting calories again. It was tough for the first week but then I got back in the swing of things. I'm now 2ish pounds from my happy place and enjoying how I feel.

My boyfriend is 6'2 and eats probably 3x the food I do. It just takes a little self control not to eat as much, but it'll get easier!

Sharon_C · April 2016

You can't "diet", reach your goal and then go back to how you were eating before. This has to be a lifetime change. That's why it's so important to lose weight in a way that's sustainable for the rest of your life. You ate at or under 1200 calories, looking at only your end goal but your end goal isn't what you thought it was. To you your end goal was a number on the scale and once you reached that you thought you were done. But your end goal is really to maintain that weight loss for the rest of your life. So you have to find a way to lose the weight and keep it off in a healthy way and a way that you can maintain forever.

You should never feel groggy or hungry while losing weight. Figure out how many calories you need to eat to lose weight at .5 or 1lb a week and stick to that.

I always think that losing the weight is easy. Keeping it off is so difficult. But if you start out the right way then you can do it.

farfromthetree · April 2016

Consider joining exercise classes you may enjoy. You may find like-minded people there who can become a great support system Personally, I love Crossfit, it's the only gym that ever worked for me and the people there are amazing
Also, I have come to the realization and accept that I cannot eat what others do. I do eat whatever I want but I watch portion control. I have chosen to not order lunch at work with the others, and as time has passed, I miss it less and less.
Lastly, I will say at your age and weight 1200 calories is not sustainable. Find your calorie level for a modest weight loss goal and look at it as long term. Once you hit your goal, you can up it for maintenance. You are very young and do not have a lot to lose. If you are frustrated, imagine those who are much older than you who have 100-200 lbs to go. You can do this. Try this calculator. I am 50, and still lose eating 1500 calories a day
http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

Afura · April 2016

You do have people many people on MFP who feel the same, and work out and struggle every day. Just remember that today you're restarting, so it may be tough, and you're going to keep going and it will get easier.

The most important things to remember are that you're human, life is going to happen, and as @janejellyroll suggested is to think back on when things got dropped to figure out what you can do to avoid it in the future because that's going to be the part to work on for when you even do meet your goals.

BZAH10 · April 2016

I think we all go through times where we are much better focused and disciplined when it comes to our eating and exercise habits. First, accept that perfection is not an option. Just do your best every day. Some days will be better than others. That's okay. It doesn't mean all is lost.

Gaining 15 lbs in two months is a lot for you body to adapt to, especially if you're short. BUT, it's NOT an insurmountable amount! You can easily lose it in a few months if you just cut back on the foods you are currently eating and ease back into exercise.

I like what @janejellyroll said: look at what didn't work for you during that time you were focused and also what DID work. Reorganize a plan but expect that it will be different than what you did before because that one wasn't sustainable for you long term.

itsthehumidity · April 2016

You're not the only person who has felt this way, and has had the same doubts and feelings of failure. I have, and most of us have.

Setbacks happen, and that's ok, really. If you lost the 15 pounds before, you can lose them again, and it doesn't have to be a frantic sprint to your goal. In my case, I had lost a bunch of weight, from 192 lbs to 152. Then, my weight crept back up again because I stopped exercising so much, back up to about 180. Then I started lifting weights and went up to 195, back to my original weight. As I type this I'm probably about 158, with most of the muscle I gained.

There were times I hated myself, when I wasn't sure if I could do it. Heck, I still haven't hit my original goal of 10% fat, and I still doubt myself all the time. I've never been there before, and I am having a hard time with what feels like an endless cut. But I keep going, because that's the only way I'll ever get there.

My point is, doubt, setbacks, and failure are actually normal parts of the process. The difference between people who are successful with their fitness goals and those who aren't are not whether or not they experience these things, but how they handle them when they come up.

The way I keep going is to forgive myself for my mistakes and actively remind myself of the end goal and what I want. I remember that the human body functions best when it's active, and that physical activity is the key to a healthy life. I subscribe to forums where people are far beyond where I am: bodybuilding and powerlifting and so on. I try to surround myself with people who don't let excuses get in the way (something I struggle with).

Another thing I do is to mark a calendar with green marks with days I do a good job with my calorie goal. And I get a reasonable cheat meal per week. You might be surprised how addicting it is to keep up a hot streak. Anyway, just sharing what mostly works for me. Of course I'm not perfect, but I keep at it. Happy to talk about it more if you want to PM or add me as a friend. You can do it!

SkinnyGirlCarrie · April 2016

I do those Fitness Blender programs too, and they are tough! Make sure that you are eating enough so you don't burn out

philippakate197 · April 2016

Oh honey, I get it. I've done the same thing a few times, felt the shame of what felt like an insurmountable regain and wondered how it all went so wrong so fast.

It took me several attempts and a few years to learn where I was going wrong, it might be different for you but I hope this might help a little.

I was losing weight by doing a 'diet'. I thought that when I was done I could add a few treats back in and ease up on the exercise and still maintain. So, I hammered the exercise, ate all the 'healthy' food, had no sugar and low carbs and the weight fell off. But it wasn't the way I live my life the rest of the time, so of course it piled back on! This time, I have had 'treats' every week, sometimes every day if I have enough calories, not done much exercise and the weight has taken double the time to come off! But its manageable! I don't have time for a crazy exercise programme in my life and I love sweet foods, so I need to have them WHILE I'm losing weight, to learn how to get the balance and not feel deprived during the process.

It's taken years to figure out what works for me, but think about what you can sustain for the rest of your life and create your plan around that. I know it feels awful right now, but you can do this.

LazSommer · April 2016

I think it's important to remember that everybody is different and food is fuel. OP you mention your 6ft boyfriend who can eat 3 times what you can - I'm guessing from your goal weight you're on the lower end of 5ft. Of course he needs more food, just like a truck needs more gas than a motorcycle. We tend to compare ourselves to others, especially when it comes to weight loss, and that's not helpful. You need to realize that this is about your body and what it needs - the only support you need is your own.

That said, maybe try incorporating things your boyfriend can do with you. He can't eat as little as you need to, but he can work with you. I doubt he wants to blast HIS booty, though, so see what you can do together.

Advice needed. Please read.

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