Weight loss comments the good the bad and the ugly...
Ok so you've lost a good amount of weight and its very noticable to everyone. What are some of the comments that you are hearing? I have heard many nice things from everyone, but the one that always shocks me is "How did you do it?? What is your secret?" My answer is "HARD Freakin WORK! I exercise 4-5 times a week and I watch/count every last thing I pop in my mouth. I dont eat fast food and or junk. NOT giving UP!! I mean we all know this right? This is not a secret.
Also the other thing that rattles my brain is the fact that everyone in my life has told me something nice and encouraging except my husbands family and I mean the WHOLE family. They havent said one nice thing about how I look or how far I have come. I mean I lost 50lbs!! How can you just let that go by without one word?? Baffles me... baffles.
Also the other thing that rattles my brain is the fact that everyone in my life has told me something nice and encouraging except my husbands family and I mean the WHOLE family. They havent said one nice thing about how I look or how far I have come. I mean I lost 50lbs!! How can you just let that go by without one word?? Baffles me... baffles.
0
Replies
-
I hate that! When people don't mention anything at all about your weightloss! Maybe they'll think it's rude or something.. idk. But damn, I hate that!0
-
I have been getting the same comments from all kinds of people. People are surprised eating healthy can help you loose weight, but most people are not ready for the commitment.
Your husbands family may think there is somthing going on that is not good, give them time, they will come around.0 -
Congratulations on your weight loss, and especially your hard work and "no quit" attitude!
I totally understand how you feel re: your husband's family. I don't intend to be Pollyanna -- but another way to look at it is, at least they haven't said anything rude! Let's just say, sometimes silence is better...
Keep up your hard work- the compliments from others are nice; the way you feel about yourself is priceless! Way to go!0 -
I guess I'm different, but I don't think it is rude at all when people don't comment. In fact, I would prefer they didn't. Let's face it, would anyone be happy if someone commented on a weight GAIN? I think it's a private thing and noone should be expected to talk about it.0
-
From two different family members I've gotten the comment of "Oh, it's great you're losing so much weight (31lbs so far), but now if only you could lose that belly of yours!"
Seriously?? Who says something like that?? Like I don't know that's my problem area.0 -
Congratulations on your weight loss, and especially your hard work and "no quit" attitude!
I totally understand how you feel re: your husband's family. I don't intend to be Pollyanna -- but another way to look at it is, at least they haven't said anything rude! Let's just say, sometimes silence is better...
Keep up your hard work- the compliments from others are nice; the way you feel about yourself is priceless! Way to go!
Yes I agree some ppl just dont know how to compliment correctly.. lol.0 -
It's likely that some haven't mentioned it- and deliberately AVOID asking you "How'd you do it?" because you've already stated how you'd answer...and ANYone who is not the least bit interested in losing it themselves isn't going "to stand in front of a loaded gun" per se.
I've been on both sides of this.
I guess I'm less quick to preach now- just living out my life- new lifestyle changes and all- without wanting to come across to others as offensive.
Those who are sincerely interested in taking better control of their health will pull me aside and ask questions privately.
Giving them encouragement- and letting them know it will take sheer determination on their part- is the best way to reply.
I don't want to come across sounding like I'm arrogant and obnoxious over my "new" life.
But that's just the way I'm seeing it.0 -
I am also one of those people that don't comment on other's weight loss. So I am sure that over time I have probably hurt someones feelings :-( First, I am always concerned that if someone has lost a lot of weight that there is a health issue. (Silly probably.) Second, I would never want them to think that I felt they "didn't look great" when they were carrying extra weight.
Now for those close to you, hmmm, they could have said something - but honestly, I'm on the side of giving them the benefit of the doubt and trying not to offend you :-)
Congrats by the way, you have done an amazing job, and the old fashioned way!0 -
It's likely that some haven't mentioned it- and deliberately AVOID asking you "How'd you do it?" because you've already stated how you'd answer...and ANYone who is not the least bit interested in losing it themselves isn't going "to stand in front of a loaded gun" per se.
I've been on both sides of this.
I guess I'm less quick to preach now- just living out my life- new lifestyle changes and all- without wanting to come across to others as offensive.
Those who are sincerely interested in taking better control of their health will pull me aside and ask questions privately.
Giving them encouragement- and letting them know it will take sheer determination on their part- is the best way to reply.
I don't want to come across sounding like I'm arrogant and obnoxious over my "new" life.
But that's just the way I'm seeing it.
I agree, I do not "preach" Ither. If they ask I will tell them.0 -
how rude! after such an accomplishment of losing such an amount they should be giving you loads of compliments, and should have been doing so from the start in terms of support.
Well done on your weightloss!0 -
Yea its so frustrating when people dont say anything at all. Personally i think there a bit jealous that something is working for you. You have done a wonderful job!0
-
From two different family members I've gotten the comment of "Oh, it's great you're losing so much weight (31lbs so far), but now if only you could lose that belly of yours!"
Seriously?? Who says something like that?? Like I don't know that's my problem area.
[/qu
awe that sucks! my father in law cut out an article about obese women getting preggo and gave it to me before the weight loss obviously. That really sucked.0 -
My uncle ask me how I did it and I replied with diet and exercise. He then laughed and said "Isn't that the hard way?" I know my uncle didn't mean any harm but people who have been skinny their whole lives sometimes just don't get.
This maybe the same "problem" your husband's family has. My husband's family hasn't commented on mine either. My mother's family is the opposite. They get together and gush at each other about how much weight everyone has lost. I don't think that approach is healthy either. For those who haven't tried to lose a lot of weight, they seem to either not know what a huge accomplishment it is or are afraid of implying you weren't beautiful they way you were before.0 -
Ok so you've lost a good amount of weight and its very noticable to everyone. What are some of the comments that you are hearing? I have heard many nice things from everyone, but the one that always shocks me is "How did you do it?? What is your secret?" My answer is "HARD Freakin WORK! I exercise 4-5 times a week and I watch/count every last thing I pop in my mouth. I dont eat fast food and or junk. NOT giving UP!! I mean we all know this right? This is not a secret.
Also the other thing that rattles my brain is the fact that everyone in my life has told me something nice and encouraging except my husbands family and I mean the WHOLE family. They havent said one nice thing about how I look or how far I have come. I mean I lost 50lbs!! How can you just let that go by without one word?? Baffles me... baffles.
Many people feel a "Catch 22" when talking about weight loss. And from what You have said people had Better know how to approach You and make the right statements. Asking someone "how they are losing wt" is just a way for people to approach the subject, I don't think they mean any harm by it and you don't have to go into detail. If I were your husband's Family, I might not say anything to you either UNLESS I have a Really Good Relationship with You for fear that you might take what I say the wrong way. Everyone is not as "articulate" as others in approaching subjects, as long as YOU know of your success-that's what matters.0 -
From two different family members I've gotten the comment of "Oh, it's great you're losing so much weight (31lbs so far), but now if only you could lose that belly of yours!"
Seriously?? Who says something like that?? Like I don't know that's my problem area.
Don't you just love backhanded compliments that are actually more insults than a compliment.
9 yrs ago I worked in a restaurant and lost a considerable amount of weight so I had a lot of customers complimenting me and commenting - Here are 2 of the WORST ones ---->
Customer - "Oh wow, you look much better now!!!"
Me - "What?!?! Did I look THAT bad before?"
Customer - "Yes"
(This made me feel real good about myself, I tell ya!! Like maybe I should have been living in a cave for the years prior to weightloss!!)
This next comment came while I was 7 and a 1/2 months pregnant, and yes, I did gain a lot of weight while pregnant which is why I'm on this journey again but I thought this man was exceptionally rude. Keep in mind that throughout my weight loss he'd been ranting and raving about how well I was doing......
So I approach his table of 6 PEOPLE and say "Hello!!" And this is what I get "Are you getting FAT again???" Right there, in front of a whole restaurant of my customers, friends, co-workers......I gasped and replied rather defensivly "Actually YES I AM b/c I'm almost 8 months pregnant!!" and he says, "Oh well I guess that's okay then...." LIKE it was any of his damn business anyways......sometimes circumstances happen other than pregnancy and people put the weight back on, and it's frustrating enough as it is without having someone call you out in this manner.
Some people have no tact, some people are jealous, some people don't know how to react or what to say!!0 -
Ok so you've lost a good amount of weight and its very noticable to everyone. What are some of the comments that you are hearing? I have heard many nice things from everyone, but the one that always shocks me is "How did you do it?? What is your secret?" My answer is "HARD Freakin WORK! I exercise 4-5 times a week and I watch/count every last thing I pop in my mouth. I dont eat fast food and or junk. NOT giving UP!! I mean we all know this right? This is not a secret.
Also the other thing that rattles my brain is the fact that everyone in my life has told me something nice and encouraging except my husbands family and I mean the WHOLE family. They havent said one nice thing about how I look or how far I have come. I mean I lost 50lbs!! How can you just let that go by without one word?? Baffles me... baffles.
Many people feel a "Catch 22" when talking about weight loss. And from what You have said people had Better know how to approach You and make the right statements. Asking someone "how they are losing wt" is just a way for people to approach the subject, I don't think they mean any harm by it and you don't have to go into detail. If I were your husband's Family, I might not say anything to you either UNLESS I have a Really Good Relationship with You for fear that you might take what I say the wrong way. Everyone is not as "articulate" as others in approaching subjects, as long as YOU know of your success-that's what matters.
I agree not everyone is articulate in approaching certain subjects and do not know how to express themselves, but i would never "jump" on someone for asking me how I did it. It just always secretly shocks me when someone really has no clue. I wouldnt attack them for asking me... if thats what you mean. Nor would I ever talk down to anyone no matter the subject. I'm just simply saying these things have baffled me...0 -
From two different family members I've gotten the comment of "Oh, it's great you're losing so much weight (31lbs so far), but now if only you could lose that belly of yours!"
Seriously?? Who says something like that?? Like I don't know that's my problem area.
Don't you just love backhanded compliments that are actually more insults than a compliment.
9 yrs ago I worked in a restaurant and lost a considerable amount of weight so I had a lot of customers complimenting me and commenting - Here are 2 of the WORST ones ---->
Customer - "Oh wow, you look much better now!!!"
Me - "What?!?! Did I look THAT bad before?"
Customer - "Yes"
(This made me feel real good about myself, I tell ya!! Like maybe I should have been living in a cave for the years prior to weightloss!!)
This next comment came while I was 7 and a 1/2 months pregnant, and yes, I did gain a lot of weight while pregnant which is why I'm on this journey again but I thought this man was exceptionally rude. Keep in mind that throughout my weight loss he'd been ranting and raving about how well I was doing......
So I approach his table of 6 PEOPLE and say "Hello!!" And this is what I get "Are you getting FAT again???" Right there, in front of a whole restaurant of my customers, friends, co-workers......I gasped and replied rather defensivly "Actually YES I AM b/c I'm almost 8 months pregnant!!" and he says, "Oh well I guess that's okay then...." LIKE it was any of his damn business anyways......sometimes circumstances happen other than pregnancy and people put the weight back on, and it's frustrating enough as it is without having someone call you out in this manner.
Some people have no tact, some people are jealous, some people don't know how to react or what to say!!
[/quote
wow! talk about no filter!! ok so i'm gunna take their no comments as a blessing in disguise... lol.0 -
I've only lost 9 lbs but yesterday I had a friend of mine say to her husband,as she's pointing to me,"do you see how good she's lookin allready?" I probably blushed a little! But it made me feel good.
I know Im fat and I'm the person that loves to hear how much people can tell a difference,but that's just me 0 -
I guess I'm different, but I don't think it is rude at all when people don't comment. In fact, I would prefer they didn't. Let's face it, would anyone be happy if someone commented on a weight GAIN? I think it's a private thing and noone should be expected to talk about it.
I agree and understand totally what you mean. It is a private thing. however I just cant believe they arent saying anything out of tact because they have none. lol.0 -
The one I hate the most is "You look amazing! You don't even look like the same person anymore!"
Sometimes, I want to say in response "Thanks. Was I really that hideous before?" But I just tell myself that they're paying me a compliment, not trying to make me feel bad.
I even had one woman (my brother's mother-in-law) who just couldn't get over my weight-loss, and she said to me a month or so ago "It's not just the weight you've lost ... it's that you're just so pretty now. Maybe now we can find you a man ..." And she's a really sweet lady, so I know she didn't mean anything negative by it, but that knocked me for a loop. People need to think about their words before they open their mouths.0 -
I've only lost 9 lbs but yesterday I had a friend of mine say to her husband,as she's pointing to me,"do you see how good she's lookin allready?" I probably blushed a little! But it made me feel good. I know Im fat and I'm the person that loves to hear how much people can tell a difference,but that's just me
WTG! I know doesnt it feel good? I think hard work shouldnt go unnoticed. 0 -
The one I hate the most is "You look amazing! You don't even look like the same person anymore!"
Sometimes, I want to say in response "Thanks. Was I really that hideous before?" But I just tell myself that they're paying me a compliment, not trying to make me feel bad.
I even had one woman (my brother's mother-in-law) who just couldn't get over my weight-loss, and she said to me a month or so ago "It's not just the weight you've lost ... it's that you're just so pretty now. Maybe now we can find you a man ..." And she's a really sweet lady, so I know she didn't mean anything negative by it, but that knocked me for a loop. People need to think about their words before they open their mouths.
oh wow!! That would be hard. I guess when i was heavier i had more negative comments than I get now. I mean i got asked if i was preggo all the time!! Now they are so sweet and encouraging. I know i dont look like the same person or feel it. Congrats on you journey! 0 -
For the most part, everyone I know has been really supportive, but sometimes it's clear that certain people just don't really think about what they're saying before they say it. It doesn't truly hurt my feelings anymore because of everything I've achieved and how comfortable I have become, not just with my body, but with who I am, but I'm still a little taken aback at how rude some people can be without realizing it.0
-
Thanks everyone for your input and i'm glad i'm not the only one who found this a little strange. You all made some valid points and i think saying nothing is probably better than something!! Also, i should have said that i did post a b4 and after pic on facebook and my husbands family didnt even hit the like button. not one of them. To be honest, it was a little strange to me.
Btw, I was only venting my feelings when i posted this topic. In real life, I certainly wouldnt word it like that to someone. I wish everyone luck on your journey! Thanks again for all your input.0 -
The 400 pound girl at work consistently asks me if that's all i'm going to eat for lunch. Mind you I have a piece of fruit, a yogurt, a sandwich or some wheat thins, and a 32 ounce bottle of water. And then proceeds to tell me that If I keep eating like that I'm going to be anorexic.0
-
From two different family members I've gotten the comment of "Oh, it's great you're losing so much weight (31lbs so far), but now if only you could lose that belly of yours!"
Seriously?? Who says something like that?? Like I don't know that's my problem area.
Don't you just love backhanded compliments that are actually more insults than a compliment.
9 yrs ago I worked in a restaurant and lost a considerable amount of weight so I had a lot of customers complimenting me and commenting - Here are 2 of the WORST ones ---->
Customer - "Oh wow, you look much better now!!!"
Me - "What?!?! Did I look THAT bad before?"
Customer - "Yes"
(This made me feel real good about myself, I tell ya!! Like maybe I should have been living in a cave for the years prior to weightloss!!)
This next comment came while I was 7 and a 1/2 months pregnant, and yes, I did gain a lot of weight while pregnant which is why I'm on this journey again but I thought this man was exceptionally rude. Keep in mind that throughout my weight loss he'd been ranting and raving about how well I was doing......
So I approach his table of 6 PEOPLE and say "Hello!!" And this is what I get "Are you getting FAT again???" Right there, in front of a whole restaurant of my customers, friends, co-workers......I gasped and replied rather defensivly "Actually YES I AM b/c I'm almost 8 months pregnant!!" and he says, "Oh well I guess that's okay then...." LIKE it was any of his damn business anyways......sometimes circumstances happen other than pregnancy and people put the weight back on, and it's frustrating enough as it is without having someone call you out in this manner.
Some people have no tact, some people are jealous, some people don't know how to react or what to say!!
It ALWAYS shocks me to hear stories like this. I must be sheltered to think that rude people like this are a rarity...
So sorry that this happened to you! Poor you-- you can't even tell him off like he deserves since you are in customer service. 0 -
As the mother of two kids I'm familiar with the phenomenon of not recognizing the changes that happen right in front of your eyes until someone else mentions it. Suddenly you see the person anew, and BAM, you wonder why you didn't see it before.
I get similar comments (or not) when I cut my hair, and I've asked people if they've noticed. The responses I get might be one of the reasons why your husband and family don't say anything:
"I suddenly noticed and I didn't want to prove how little I'd noticed the changes."
"I didn't want to embarrass both of us by calling attention to something everyone else must have seen for a while."
"I don't know how long ago you'd (cut your hair), and I'm sure you are tired of hearing about it now."
"I didn't even realize you had (cut your hair) until you said something since it hasn't been a drastic change."
"I don't really care about your (hair cut). I do not pay attention to what people look like."
If you really want to know why, you might feel the need to ask... but be prepared to hear the worst.0 -
As the mother of two kids I'm familiar with the phenomenon of not recognizing the changes that happen right in front of your eyes until someone else mentions it. Suddenly you see the person anew, and BAM, you wonder why you didn't see it before.
I get similar comments (or not) when I cut my hair, and I've asked people if they've noticed. The responses I get might be one of the reasons why your husband and family don't say anything:
"I suddenly noticed and I didn't want to prove how little I'd noticed the changes."
"I didn't want to embarrass both of us by calling attention to something everyone else must have seen for a while."
"I don't know how long ago you'd (cut your hair), and I'm sure you are tired of hearing about it now."
"I didn't even realize you had (cut your hair) until you said something since it hasn't been a drastic change."
"I don't really care about your (hair cut). I do not pay attention to what people look like."
If you really want to know why, you might feel the need to ask... but be prepared to hear the worst.
lol i think you are very correct!!0 -
The 400 pound girl at work consistently asks me if that's all i'm going to eat for lunch. Mind you I have a piece of fruit, a yogurt, a sandwich or some wheat thins, and a 32 ounce bottle of water. And then proceeds to tell me that If I keep eating like that I'm going to be anorexic.
ugh!! actually thats a very healthy lunch! lol She is obviously very insecure about her own weight issues but i can see why that would be annoying.0 -
Why would anyone ask "Why? Did I look that bad before?" Duh, yes, we did. That's why we're here.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions