Being called fat, what I wish they knew.

melissa6771
melissa6771 Posts: 894 Member
edited April 2016 in Motivation and Support
Today, as I was pulling out of the post office, a girl came around the corner pulling in, but she cut the corner and was on my side of the road. I said, wow, WTF, that's not how you take a corner. Windows were open and she heard me. She called me a *kitten* among some other things. So I backed up because I was so pissed. We had some words back and forth, during which she called me a fat *kitten*. I don't even know the last time someone called me fat, actually called me that out loud. I honestly wanted to get out of the car and beat the crap out of her, to slam her stupid little *kitten* against her car. I was so angry inside. She then says she's taking my plate to call the police. Good, I hope she does. I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't even have my phone with me to do anything. I just left because I didn't trust myself to be there. When I was finally gone, I cried. Then I got mad. Then I cried. I thought about going back and wringing her little scrawny little neck. Of course I didn't... But I wanted to. That is probably the one and only thing that someone could say to really hurt me deeply. If she only knew. If she knew how badly her words could hurt someone. I wish I could go back and tell her that. Explain to her what that does to someone living as an overweight girl/woman in today's society. It's the last accepted form of hatred and bigotry. It's sad.

Replies

  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    That sucks, shake it off!! Someday she will have someone say something mean to her. It all comes around. Hugs
  • kcerrillo
    kcerrillo Posts: 103 Member
    It was a easy lame *kitten* of a blow. A person like that isn't worth ur hurt. Screw her
  • brb_2013
    brb_2013 Posts: 1,197 Member
    edited April 2016
    Yeah I had a 3yo call me names until I cried. Not a proud moment. But he was absolutely vicious. Definitely quit working for his family two weeks later.

    Im sorry about all that, I would have been just as angry. She obviously doesn't have anything else to go off of except appearances. Just remember small people aren't always happy with themselves either and someone who can spew hate like that clearly isn't a happy person. Rise above her level :)
  • 100df
    100df Posts: 668 Member
    edited April 2016
    Oooh that stings. I am sorry that happened to you.

    She may not have made a bad turn on purpose. Misjudged the space or something. Highly doubt she made the turn with you in mind at all. She probably felt insulted with what she heard you say. No one likes to be criticized. If you are going to confront someone as you did by backing up, you have to be ready for anything.
  • LLT38
    LLT38 Posts: 172 Member
    Agreed - she was nasty but you started a fight with a stranger by commenting on her driving. And you talk about wanting to assault her in your post. If you don't like to be called names by ignorant people, don't give them an opening by starting a fight.
  • Melba1973
    Melba1973 Posts: 11 Member
    Being called fat, fat jokes, being discriminated against due to one's size is, like you said, the last accepted form of bigotry and hatred. It's not just tolerated but encouraged. Watch virtually any kids' movie and the 'dumb' character or the overly 'silly' character is chubby. In your case, her insult of your appearance was simply an easy go-to. She couldn't think of anything relevant or valid to criticize you on so she went for the easiest blow, the one that lacked the necessity of any resemblance of intelligence but would elicit an emotional response. Unfortunately the fix for ignorance isn't an easy one. Using this forum as an outlet was a good recourse for you instead of escalating the confrontation so good for you!
  • DYELB
    DYELB Posts: 7,407 Member
    I wish people knew to take insults in stride and not cry about them like a baby, particularly after getting aggressive in a road rage situation.
  • melissa6771
    melissa6771 Posts: 894 Member
    edited April 2016
    As far as me commenting on her driving, yes, I did. Had I not been prepared and stopped, that would've been an accident. I have been hit twice in the past two years while at a complete stop. One messed up my knee, the other my back. I don't think I could take being hit again. I'm just starting to feel better after almost two years of constant pain, a million doctors appointments, physical therapy, and numerous cortisone shots. I can't even count the amount of times I've almost been hit since then by unaware drivers. I didn't call her names, I didn't get out of the car to go after her. Yes, I backed up and was angry about the nasty names she called me, that's it. Everything else was just thoughts in my mind. I have a right to my thoughts. By the way, if you do something wrong driving, how about just saying, gee, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I cut it that close. She didn't need to react like that when she was in the wrong. She was in my lane, on my side of the road.

    Just yesterday, I was leaving my mothers house. I got to the end of the street and there's a woman parked in the middle of the road, literally in the middle of the road, standing by her car. She waved a car by that was coming off the road that it leads to, then waved me around her and said something. As I pulled up I said what? She was like, I'm waiting for a bus. I said, in the middle of the road? She says, lighten up. Lol. Really? Why not pull to the side instead of blocking the whole road? So if I go around her and a car comes to turn into the road, because I'm on their side of the road, who's at fault? Yup, probably me. So bizarre. But that's people on the road today, like they're the only ones there, no regard for anyone else or their safety.

    I think my reaction too ever was probably cumulative and also because of the name calling. It hit me at a moment that I was out of tolerance and patience.
  • melissa6771
    melissa6771 Posts: 894 Member
    Melba1973 wrote: »
    Being called fat, fat jokes, being discriminated against due to one's size is, like you said, the last accepted form of bigotry and hatred. It's not just tolerated but encouraged. Watch virtually any kids' movie and the 'dumb' character or the overly 'silly' character is chubby. In your case, her insult of your appearance was simply an easy go-to. She couldn't think of anything relevant or valid to criticize you on so she went for the easiest blow, the one that lacked the necessity of any resemblance of intelligence but would elicit an emotional response. Unfortunately the fix for ignorance isn't an easy one. Using this forum as an outlet was a good recourse for you instead of escalating the confrontation so good for you!

    Thank you. And you're probably right. People don't like being called out on stuff when they're wrong and that's how they react, so instead she insulted me. And I reacted. In a perfect world, I wouldn't have let it bother me. But I'm not perfect.
  • DYELB
    DYELB Posts: 7,407 Member
    I'm going to take out my past baggage on everyone because damnit they should know better!

    Even though they don't know me.
  • CassidyScaglione
    CassidyScaglione Posts: 673 Member
    I feel like you wouldn't last very long in New Brunswick... One day of driving here and your head would probably explode.
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
    people often insult women by calling us fat. i was 97 pound and anorexic, and a guy in the next car called me a fat *bleep* obviously he just wanted me to feel bad, since i was from overweight. and i've seen it happen to other women the same way.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    edited April 2016
    melissa6771 wrote: »
    As far as me commenting on her driving, yes, I did. Had I not been prepared and stopped, that would've been an accident. I have been hit twice in the past two years while at a complete stop. One messed up my knee, the other my back. I don't think I could take being hit again. I'm just starting to feel better after almost two years of constant pain, a million doctors appointments, physical therapy, and numerous cortisone shots. I can't even count the amount of times I've almost been hit since then by unaware drivers. I didn't call her names, I didn't get out of the car to go after her. Yes, I backed up and was angry about the nasty names she called me, that's it. Everything else was just thoughts in my mind. I have a right to my thoughts. By the way, if you do something wrong driving, how about just saying, gee, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I cut it that close. She didn't need to react like that when she was in the wrong. She was in my lane, on my side of the road.

    Just yesterday, I was leaving my mothers house. I got to the end of the street and there's a woman parked in the middle of the road, literally in the middle of the road, standing by her car. She waved a car by that was coming off the road that it leads to, then waved me around her and said something. As I pulled up I said what? She was like, I'm waiting for a bus. I said, in the middle of the road? She says, lighten up. Lol. Really? Why not pull to the side instead of blocking the whole road? So if I go around her and a car comes to turn into the road, because I'm on their side of the road, who's at fault? Yup, probably me. So bizarre. But that's people on the road today, like they're the only ones there, no regard for anyone else or their safety.

    I think my reaction too ever was probably cumulative and also because of the name calling. It hit me at a moment that I was out of tolerance and patience.

    You have a right to the thoughts in your head. Others have a right to comment on those thoughts when you expose those thoughts on a public forum.

    Someone called you fat after you initiated a confrontation. I was called a fat wh0re for walking on a beach. I laughed. Words used against you only have the power you give them.

    If she knew how much her words hurt you, she'd be extremely pleased with herself. After all, it was her intent to hurt you. She was sucessful.
  • PeachesNcreamgal
    PeachesNcreamgal Posts: 357 Member
    Use that anger to run harder, lift heavier. Kick a mean punch to that sand bag or whatever you call it in your kick boxing class.
  • JoshuaJarrett
    JoshuaJarrett Posts: 21 Member
    You're completely right being big is an accepted form of bigotry male/female alike,you're a beautiful woman don't let some lil piss ant bring you down....use it,so when you hit your goals you can so pleasingly smear it in her and people like her faces,it's tough and I'm not done but In just the amount I have lost(78lbs) I get to do a lil smearing and it's worth it trust me.
  • Fit4LifeAR
    Fit4LifeAR Posts: 233 Member
    rankinsect wrote: »
    Well, on the one hand, yes it hurts. On the other - you initiated the confrontation and deliberately backed your car up to continue the confrontation. Don't start a fight if you're not OK with the idea of getting hurt in it.

    I agree, not a smart move. In cases like this, it's better to just drive on. This is what leads to road rage.

  • Larissa_NY
    Larissa_NY Posts: 495 Member
    People are not always going to drive the way you want them to drive, and you can't make them. Some people drive like idiots. The driving-like-idiots thing is their fault, but a verbal altercation that you start is your own. I'm not condoning what she said, but what did you think was going to happen? That she'd meekly apologize to the person who backed up in the parking lot to yell at her?

    If you can't take it, don't dish it out. If you're road raging, it's much better not to dish it out in the first place. One of these days the person you decide to lecture on the error of their ways is going to be crazier than you and carrying a weapon, and being called fat is going to wind up being the least of your worries.
  • ldowdesw
    ldowdesw Posts: 222 Member
    My attitude.. I'm fat, your ugly.
    I can diet
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    ldowdesw wrote: »
    My attitude.. I'm fat, your ugly.
    I can diet

    This is awesome*.



    (* if you're in second grade. Doesn't exactly have legs once you're old enough to realize external beauty is irrelevant to one's self-worth.)
  • sunnybeaches105
    sunnybeaches105 Posts: 2,831 Member
    Fit4LifeAR wrote: »
    rankinsect wrote: »
    Well, on the one hand, yes it hurts. On the other - you initiated the confrontation and deliberately backed your car up to continue the confrontation. Don't start a fight if you're not OK with the idea of getting hurt in it.

    I agree, not a smart move. In cases like this, it's better to just drive on. This is what leads to road rage.

    ^ This. It sounds like a great way to get yourself killed or arrested. If you're that upset about someone else's driving then I strongly suggest taking a moment to reflect upon your inner anger issues and then doing something about it before you do have a run in with law enforcement.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    edited April 2016
    Fat *kitten*, skinny *kitten*, ugly *kitten*, stupid *kitten*

    Meh...people will always find a way to insult you ..even if you were a Victoria's Secret model and cussed someone out you'd get a physically-based insult

    But we all have low moments when things hurt that shouldn't ...you'll get over it, cos you're an adult

    Awww look at all da baby cats ...so cute
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    Fat *kitten*, skinny *kitten*, ugly *kitten*, stupid *kitten*

    Meh...people will always find a way to insult you ..even if you were a Victoria's Secret model and cussed someone out you'd get a physically-based insult

    But we all have low moments when things hurt that shouldn't ...you'll get over it, cos you're an adult

    Awww look at all da baby cats ...so cute

    They're all the same, but different

    a8z1uuqjii0k.png


    OP, I know it sucks when someone attacks you in a personal manner, but you did start. What type of response were you expecting from her? For her to hear you from a moving vehicle, you were obviously talking loud enough for it to reach her.

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