What should I do?
Black_rose1809
Posts: 40 Member
My family is killing me. I been wanting to lose weight, and I finally got the chance this year by taking aerobics in school. And been trying to eat well but my family complains that they are not the ones going on diet so we always end up eating at fast foods or mexican food. I want to go walking too but my mom gets tired and recently after only two days, we stopped. My mom says it's because I'm lazy to not go walk in the morning that we don't walk but I say it's the same thing at sunset, they're too lazy to go walking. I feel that my wanting to be healthy is just a lost cause because of them. I feel I've been gaining weight... what should i do? It's mainly my dad who decides where to eat and he starts acting cranky if he doesn't eat right away. and when I tried to complain about this he gets mad.
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Replies
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You gotta make the right decisions if you want it. Its not there fault I have people in my life that act the same way but I try my best to whats right and healthy0
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Are you a minor? If not, you can buy your own healthier options, watch them eat the saturated fat bombs, and wait an hour until you arrive back home and make yourself something to eat. You can walk alone. You have to be your own advocate if you really want to be healthier. Using your family as an excuse is just that- an excuse. You can do it.0
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Are you a minor? If not, you can buy your own healthier options, watch them eat the saturated fat bombs, and wait an hour until you arrive back home and make yourself something to eat. You can walk alone. You have to be your own advocate if you really want to be healthier. Using your family as an excuse is just that- an excuse. You can do it.
No I'm not a minor. We do buy healthier foods but all my dad wants if fattening mexican or fast food. If I want to go eat a salad he gets mad at me or makes fun of me. I want to go walk alone but it's dangerous in my neighborhood, so you can't exactly go alone.
If I don't go eat with them, he gets mad. Before you say, move out. I can't. No job, college student? Think about it.0 -
I think you are at that inbetween stage in your life where because you are a student you are somewhat dependant on your family but transitioning to being completely responsible for yourself. You have recognised that you would like to have a more healthy lifestyle and a struggling with taking responsibility as that is a new thing for you.
Don't give up. Your Dad might "get mad" but he's never been challenged before and if he's been out working and he's hungry then that will be normal to get grumpy. But I think as you calmly keep mentioning that its important to you to eat more healthly and are very gently assertive about it and keep trying to eat healthy and be active, he will begin to respect this. Maybe talk to him when he's not hungry and not just finished work.
Well done for getting started. Keep going! See if you can find the healthiest option at the fast food place and eat a smaller portion!0 -
I think you are at that inbetween stage in your life where because you are a student you are somewhat dependant on your family but transitioning to being completely responsible for yourself. You have recognised that you would like to have a more healthy lifestyle and a struggling with taking responsibility as that is a new thing for you.
Don't give up. Your Dad might "get mad" but he's never been challenged before and if he's been out working and he's hungry then that will be normal to get grumpy. But I think as you calmly keep mentioning that its important to you to eat more healthly and are very gently assertive about it and keep trying to eat healthy and be active, he will begin to respect this. Maybe talk to him when he's not hungry and not just finished work.
Well done for getting started. Keep going! See if you can find the healthiest option at the fast food place and eat a smaller portion!
Thank you I'll try....0 -
No I'm not a minor. We do buy healthier foods but all my dad wants if fattening mexican or fast food. If I want to go eat a salad he gets mad at me or makes fun of me. I want to go walk alone but it's dangerous in my neighborhood, so you can't exactly go alone.
If I don't go eat with them, he gets mad. Before you say, move out. I can't. No job, college student? Think about it.
***moderator removed***
Gee thanks for the encouragement.
It's not my fault I can't get away from my family. I will try to eat healthier but really it's a lost cause when you don't even get a choice what to eat at fast food places. I mean where in mcdonalds can I eat something healthy? I doubt the salad is healthy enough. And in the menus in mexican resturants and I mean the real mexican places, don't have something healthy either.0 -
i have the same problem...my mum makes fatty, oily Indian food everyday because my dad and everyone in the family loves it..but i know that that's bad for me..so i basically make my own food everyday..i make healthy food such as stir fry,vegi salad fruit salad..try doing that....make you own food, buy you own healthy snacks...dont eat with them...at home eat all alone so that you dont get tempted...and when they go out make excuses that you have lots of homework and stay home or go out with them sometimes but eat healthy at home and have coke zero or water when they are eating.......and dont depend on anyone for exercise...because in a way there stopping you ....i mean join the gym..go exercise when ever you feel like it....have music going on when you exercise and you'll be fine...
hope this helps you...xx0 -
Go it alone.
Get Leslie's Walk away the pounds DVD and get busy in your room.
At every restaurant even Mexican Restaurants have a healthy menu.
It's up to you, To start a new.
Good Luck0 -
I disagree with above. You shouldn't have to make excuses for being smart and healthy.
There are people above that are being kinda negative, sure, but at some point you're going to have to stick it to the naysayers, for example, your father.0 -
Actually, the salads aren't too bad at McDonalds. Not fantastic, but not the worst thing you can eat. And the Fillet-o-fish has some redeeming qualities - especially if you have it without the sauce. I presume in the USA it is the same as in the UK - you can have a side salad or carrot sticks rather than fries? The fries are bad. And have water rather than soda.
Mexican, home made chicken Fajita are a fantastic option. Could you offer to cook rather than go out? Sort of 'take-away at home' type thing?
And that is only one meal a day. Breakfast, lunch and snacks can be healthy & low cal.
Exercise - if walking is dangerous, is there a gym at your college? Or could you do a home DVD?
There are options. Good luck
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Maybe you can start with portion control, then. That way, if you eat together, you still have the choice of how much you eat. And at macdonalds, you can get the salad and not use the dressing or just use a little bit of it.
As for your dad, I think you need to let him know how important this is for you; including how much his jokes hurt you. I think that once he sees your commitment, he'll stop.
As for working out alone, your best choice is dvds then. I'm doing the 30 day shred and I love it. There are tons of dvds out there, and if you can't afford to buy them, you can check your local library.
You can do this. Make a plan and commit to it. If all you can do right now is portion control, that's a start! Good luck!0 -
I read your post with a heavy heart it sounds to me as though you Father has kept you under his thumb for too long! It is time to step out and shine honey! You are now at college, and old enough to take responsibility for your own actions, Diet, and whatever else in your life! stand up and be counted! You must calmly talk to him about your hopes and aspirations, tell him you really want him on your side, cheering in your corner, but even if he doesn't, you are going to do it! you have a whole gang of folks on MFP, who will be more than willing to be a support for you, But you must make those healthy choices for yourself, and stick to them!0
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I feel very sad for you....how any family member could not support positive changes and a healthy lifestyle is uncomprehendable to me....one thing I've learnt in life is that you can't rely on other people to always help you meet your goals, you have to take responsibility for yourself....can you not go shopping with whoever is in charge of he cooking and suggest some healthier options??
There is an old saying "where there is a will there's a way" if you really want this you will find a way to make it happen, good luck with your journey0 -
I feel very sad for you....how any family member could not support positive changes and a healthy lifestyle is uncomprehendable to me....one thing I've learnt in life is that you can't rely on other people to always help you meet your goals, you have to take responsibility for yourself....can you not go shopping with whoever is in charge of he cooking and suggest some healthier options??
There is an old saying "where there is a will there's a way" if you really want this you will find a way to make it happen, good luck with your journey
We do go shopping. I always help my mom, she's the only one who does accept what I want to do except the walking one. we try to cook at home, but because my dad whines like a kid sometimes because he's hungry, he starts to want to go eat at fast food places. I'm a bit jealous of him though. Since he was a kid he always eaten 5 times a day and still is skinny (except the beer belly.) he has diabetes, I understand why he gets mad and groggy because lack of sugar or high sugar but that's no excuse for not wanting to eat healthy food.I read your post with a heavy heart it sounds to me as though you Father has kept you under his thumb for too long! It is time to step out and shine honey! You are now at college, and old enough to take responsibility for your own actions, Diet, and whatever else in your life! stand up and be counted! You must calmly talk to him about your hopes and aspirations, tell him you really want him on your side, cheering in your corner, but even if he doesn't, you are going to do it! you have a whole gang of folks on MFP, who will be more than willing to be a support for you, But you must make those healthy choices for yourself, and stick to them!
Yeah I am his only daughter after all and after they messed up with my older brother... well. Your right! Thank you! I'll try!i have the same problem...my mum makes fatty, oily Indian food everyday because my dad and everyone in the family loves it..but i know that that's bad for me..so i basically make my own food everyday..i make healthy food such as stir fry,vegi salad fruit salad..try doing that....make you own food, buy you own healthy snacks...dont eat with them...at home eat all alone so that you dont get tempted...and when they go out make excuses that you have lots of homework and stay home or go out with them sometimes but eat healthy at home and have coke zero or water when they are eating.......and dont depend on anyone for exercise...because in a way there stopping you ....i mean join the gym..go exercise when ever you feel like it....have music going on when you exercise and you'll be fine...
hope this helps you...xx
I glad someone who has the problem with ethic food at home.... I'll try to do that.
It's hard when your family eats differently than others do... 0 -
Actually, the salads aren't too bad at McDonalds. Not fantastic, but not the worst thing you can eat. And the Fillet-o-fish has some redeeming qualities - especially if you have it without the sauce. I presume in the USA it is the same as in the UK - you can have a side salad or carrot sticks rather than fries? The fries are bad. And have water rather than soda.
Mexican, home made chicken Fajita are a fantastic option. Could you offer to cook rather than go out? Sort of 'take-away at home' type thing?
And that is only one meal a day. Breakfast, lunch and snacks can be healthy & low cal.
Exercise - if walking is dangerous, is there a gym at your college? Or could you do a home DVD?
There are options. Good luck
Not really... we don't have that option ( I don't think.) except on the kids meal. They have the option of either apple dippers or french fries. I'll see about the salad... but the fillet o' fish sounds good.
fajitas is sort of special occassion food at home.... but I'll try to convince my mom to help me cook something good.
As i said, I'm taking aerobics class 2 a day for 3 hours. But I want to do more at home, walking was something I could do but I can't go outside alone, so I rather do something at home. I'll try to find some dvds, I have been searching online for some dvds on amazon or walmart. any good recommedations?0 -
do you have any recommendations for dvds? I was looking at the biggest loser ones but also the zamba ones.0
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i'm sorry to hear your situation but glad that you are trying. Even small changes will make a big difference to your health so well done for deciding to do something.
Do you have a xbox or wii? theres some great exercise games available & it's something fun you could do as a family.
As for the eating out, when at the mexican ask for no cheese/sour cream, have the burrito without the tortilla you'll be amazed how many calories/fat you can save this way. Look on the internet fir nutritional info about the places you eat, that way you can plan ahead & do damage control
Good luck with it i wish you continued success x0 -
Order the kid's meal at McDonald's and get it with apple dippers instead of fries, no drink. It actually isn't a bad option. Be careful with salads- they can be loaded up with bacon/cheese/croutons/dressing/etc. which can potentially make them worse than a hamburger! If you get a sandwich with mayo, make sure to ask for no mayo, and extra pickles or tomatoes or lettuce or whatever you like if you want to get that little bit of extra moisture that the mayo would usually provide. Same thing goes for "special sauce"- none of that, lol... ketchup and mustard only. If you get the fish filet, I'd personally rather sacrifice the cheese than the tartar, LOL (because McDonald's has amazing tartar sauce for some reason!), but try it a few different ways and see what you think. Maybe only eat half the bun- there is a lot of bread there and I always end up throwing some away.
As for Mexican... get chicken breast. Don't get things that are smothered in or stuffed with cheese. Get steamed veggies on the side, no oil/butter/etc.
I get cranky when I'm hungry, and I don't have diabetes or any blood sugar issues. Sooooo I make sure that I start cooking dinner early! If you know what time he starts to get hungry, you and your mom should start making dinner long before that so that it is ready by the time he gets like that. Do you have a crockpot? You could start it in the morning, and then whenever he is ready to eat, you can eat- you can let it sit in there on warm or low if it is done too early.
Honestly, as much as it might be more difficult to do this with your family around, you are old enough to make your own decisions and do your own thing. You can buy your own food. You can not go with them to the fast food restaurants or you can eat before/after. If somebody wants to make fun of you for that, you just have to ignore it and know that what you are doing is better for you in the long run. If you really can't exercise right now for some reason, don't stress about it. Diet is 90% of the weight loss battle- getting your food under control is way more important right now than going out for a walk after dinner and will go much farther in getting you to your goal.
My family is Italian, so as you can imagine, we eat a lot of foods that are not ideal for weight loss- tons of pasta, breads, cold cuts, cheese, oils. But I've found ways to make those foods better for me. I use whole grain pasta only. I very rarely eat bread, and if I do, it is whole grain. Italian cold cuts (salami, proscuitto, etc.) are for special occasions only. I use low fat/skim cheese and less of it, and use a minimal amount of olive oil (at most, 1 tbsp per person; but it is usually even less than that). I discovered that I could make a homemade meat sauce that tastes incredible in the crockpot and uses literally NO oil.
When cooking at home, you can make all of those substitutions and more. Use nothing less than 93/7 ground beef, or substitute it for ground turkey (99/1)- in a lot of recipes, there is so much other stuff, nobody could tell a difference. Only use boneless, skinless chicken breast. Use lots of veggies.
Don't let your family become an excuse. Maybe by changing your lifestyle, you'll end up inspiring them, too.0 -
i'm sorry to hear your situation but glad that you are trying. Even small changes will make a big difference to your health so well done for deciding to do something.
Do you have a xbox or wii? theres some great exercise games available & it's something fun you could do as a family.
As for the eating out, when at the mexican ask for no cheese/sour cream, have the burrito without the tortilla you'll be amazed how many calories/fat you can save this way. Look on the internet fir nutritional info about the places you eat, that way you can plan ahead & do damage control
Good luck with it i wish you continued success x
I have a ps3... but I've been thinking of trying to get a wii. They seem very fun. Any good games for that?
thanks !0 -
Order the kid's meal at McDonald's and get it with apple dippers instead of fries, no drink. It actually isn't a bad option. Be careful with salads- they can be loaded up with bacon/cheese/croutons/dressing/etc. which can potentially make them worse than a hamburger! If you get a sandwich with mayo, make sure to ask for no mayo, and extra pickles or tomatoes or lettuce or whatever you like if you want to get that little bit of extra moisture that the mayo would usually provide. Same thing goes for "special sauce"- none of that, lol... ketchup and mustard only. If you get the fish filet, I'd personally rather sacrifice the cheese than the tartar, LOL (because McDonald's has amazing tartar sauce for some reason!), but try it a few different ways and see what you think. Maybe only eat half the bun- there is a lot of bread there and I always end up throwing some away.
As for Mexican... get chicken breast. Don't get things that are smothered in or stuffed with cheese. Get steamed veggies on the side, no oil/butter/etc.
I get cranky when I'm hungry, and I don't have diabetes or any blood sugar issues. Sooooo I make sure that I start cooking dinner early! If you know what time he starts to get hungry, you and your mom should start making dinner long before that so that it is ready by the time he gets like that. Do you have a crockpot? You could start it in the morning, and then whenever he is ready to eat, you can eat- you can let it sit in there on warm or low if it is done too early.
Honestly, as much as it might be more difficult to do this with your family around, you are old enough to make your own decisions and do your own thing. You can buy your own food. You can not go with them to the fast food restaurants or you can eat before/after. If somebody wants to make fun of you for that, you just have to ignore it and know that what you are doing is better for you in the long run. If you really can't exercise right now for some reason, don't stress about it. Diet is 90% of the weight loss battle- getting your food under control is way more important right now than going out for a walk after dinner and will go much farther in getting you to your goal.
My family is Italian, so as you can imagine, we eat a lot of foods that are not ideal for weight loss- tons of pasta, breads, cold cuts, cheese, oils. But I've found ways to make those foods better for me. I use whole grain pasta only. I very rarely eat bread, and if I do, it is whole grain. Italian cold cuts (salami, proscuitto, etc.) are for special occasions only. I use low fat/skim cheese and less of it, and use a minimal amount of olive oil (at most, 1 tbsp per person; but it is usually even less than that). I discovered that I could make a homemade meat sauce that tastes incredible in the crockpot and uses literally NO oil.
When cooking at home, you can make all of those substitutions and more. Use nothing less than 93/7 ground beef, or substitute it for ground turkey (99/1)- in a lot of recipes, there is so much other stuff, nobody could tell a difference. Only use boneless, skinless chicken breast. Use lots of veggies.
Don't let your family become an excuse. Maybe by changing your lifestyle, you'll end up inspiring them, too.
thank you... I'll try. My dad would be angry if I don't eat with them, but I'll ignore him.0 -
I just wanted to wish you good luck on your journey. I think if you show you are seriuos about this weight loss by eating healthier and finding a way to exercise I think you will be a great example and role model for your family; change is hard, but can be done! It all starts with you! I would definitely see if your school offers free access to the gym, most do if you are a student!
One tip I do have at mexican restaurants is to order an individual item (like a chicken enchilada with no sour cream sauce) they may not have it on the menu that way, but I bet you can still order like that. Also, on trading your fries at mcdonalds for a healthier option instead I bet you could if you ask...fast food restaurants are starting to realize that people want healthier options and are willing to do things like this if you just ask...the worst they are going to do is tell you no.0 -
Make decisions for yourself! You can make healthy food chocies (or at least better ones!) anywhere you end up eating. And you can make the time for yourself to walk or exercise. If the family doesn't want to go when you do, leave them behind. It's your choice and theirs to be healthier; eat better and exercise.
Some people do try to sabotage others rather than support them, yes even family and even parents. Make the coice to be your own person and don't let them drag yuo down!0 -
make small changes as others have said and keep finding little ways to cut calories and increase exercise. The weight may not come off as fast as you might like to see it in the beginning, but who cares as long as it comes off.
I'm a somewhat fan of McDonalds salads actually. DH loves fast food and I usually get the grilled chicken ceasar salad for 290cal... the dressing is another 190 if you use the whole packet.. but i use about half and its fine. I just tried the southwest salad and I think its around 300cal. with the dressing being about 150-200. If I want french fries I usually just have about 10 or so from either DH or DS.
Resistance bands might be something you could also look into for strength training at home.0 -
Thank you for all your support everyone. Today was a bit hard though, but I did stand up for what I believed in and told my parents no. My dad got very mad and left me alone at home to get tacos. But I was glad I did, instead I waited until I was hungry and ate something instead of being forced to eat with them.
I hope if I keep doing that, they'll get the message and want to do what I want. Thanks everyone!0 -
I understand it is hard * HUGS* but maybe you could try doing what Jessica Alba did and prepare your own meals seperately from your family. And when your nice yummy healthy food comes out and you are making MMMMMMMMMM over it, it may just make your family jealous enough that they would like a bite. For myself I would cook a double portion or more and then put the left overs in pre portion containers and into the fridge/freezer for quick meal down the road... yummy0
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Thank you for all your support everyone. Today was a bit hard though, but I did stand up for what I believed in and told my parents no. My dad got very mad and left me alone at home to get tacos. But I was glad I did, instead I waited until I was hungry and ate something instead of being forced to eat with them.
good job! that's one big step in the right direction!0
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