Is it impolite to ask "so how much have you lost "

The question certainly can feel invasive to the receiver. However, because it is mostly assumed that weight loss is a good thing & something to be proud of, we tend to assume that people will be proud of the number dropped. It's almost an invitation to brag in some folks view. I guess what I'm saying is it feels rude to me when I get the question, especially when it's followed by "what do you weigh now?" or "How much do you have left to lose?" but I get that most of the time people are just curious and mean no harm.

Yeah, I think it's pretty rude. I might ask someone if they've lost weight - if I know they have been making an effort and have been openly talking about it. Or I might just say "you're looking great today".
Then if people want to tell me more - new haircut, lost weight etc, they can, or they can just say "thanks".

Honestly, I think "thanks" is socially appropriate, it's the other person who is being rude not you. If people push you for more "so, how much have you lost?" then I'd just come up with a standard answer that you can use each time... something like "yeah, I have lost weight, enough to make me feel a whole lot healthier". And if they are rude enough to keep asking, then I'd be a bit more blunt and just say "oh, the numbers aren't important" and try to change the subject, or better still, walk away.

Having said that, I know that different cultures have different social norms. One group that I'm in regular contact with are much more blunt about such things, and might say "oh, I met you a year ago but you are fatter now", and that's not considered rude within that culture.

But, you still get to choose how to respond, and you aren't obliged to give people more information than you are comfortable with.

Apparently not in Brazil.

I think it depends on the situation. If someone just asks out of the blue it is a little weird... But if you were talking about working out or dieting or whatever with someone, then it might be reasonable for them to ask.

I'm confused by the people who get upset when people comment on their weight loss though. I'm quite pleased when people notice that I've changed. And if they ask questions about it I don't mind. Maybe they want to try the same thing and see the same results.

Weight is generally a touchy subject with most people. I'm not sure if it's necessarily rude to ask that question, as I know a lot of people who have lost weight enjoy talking about it and whatnot. I also think it depends on the situation, the relationship you have with that person, etc.

I think it's one of those things that has no real right answer. I would personally love it if someone actually commented on my weight loss. I worked really hard and I want to know it shows and that people notice. When no one says anything, it really sucks. Recently a couple people asked me about it and asked me if I had lost weight. It felt good that someone noticed. But then again, people are also worried about offending someone so they never know if it's okay to comment on it or not.

In response to the above picture post, it could also be a way to potentially open up a conversation if someone was struggling with something. "Are you okay?" "How have you been? You look like you've lost weight." Because some people are screaming on the inside for help, for SOMEONE to notice that they are struggling and need help, dying for someone to just ask and reach out. But then again, people get annoyed when people ask if they are alright after losing weight. So you just can't win.

meganridenour wrote: »

I think people are too easily offended, honestly.

I agree.

For me, it depends on my state of mind. When I'm on the right track (thinking long-term, lifestyle change, et cetera), I don't mind the question. Most of the people I know even make sure it's "a good thing" before getting too excited about the way I look (in case it was related to a disease or some unfortunate circumstance).

Can answer "enough to fit into my skinny jeans again" lol or something similar. A real # isn't needed just come up with a couple comebacks to the questions and you'll be OK.

And just because someone asks doesn't mean we have to answer

I actually had a lady at work tell me I looked a normal size now. Is that ksuppose to be a compliment?? I have list 14 pounds I have 10-15 more to go. I was size 14 but now size 10. I am working hard. Going to fitness class. I only eat my own portion controlled food for lunch now Just a strange comment. Did not know how to respond. Just said thank you and went back to my office

I always took it as a compliment. My experience is that most people ask out of genuine technical curiosity as they might be assessing their own weight situation. If you are sensitive about it you might answer in with a percent lost and if they probe further just wink and say you'll have to come up with the denominator yourself.

Women think too much about what other people are thinking.

If someone looks like they've lost weight and also look happy, I tell them they look fabulous, and I mean it. If someone has lost weight and looks miserable (and I'm close to them), I politely let them know that I'm there for them without saying "Hey, you look miserable!"

It always feels good to me to have someone notice my weight loss! I am very glad that no one in the past ever mentioned my weight gains! "How much have you gained?" would have been too much for me to handle!