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Not caring anymore, need advice.

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Hi, I'm 21 years old and My wedding is in 2 weeks. I weighed myself this morning and I have gained 10-15 pounds within the past two months. I'm just starting to feel like I don't care. I also have depression, anxiety and binge eating disorder and I am just getting more depressed and self conscious. I'm hating myself more and I'm getting to the point that I want to punish myself by eating more because of my weight gain. I really need help or advice because I am at a loss.

Replies

  • seanm560
    seanm560 Posts: 21 Member
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    Have you recently started birth control?
  • seanm560
    seanm560 Posts: 21 Member
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    That can have a huge impact on your weight and emotions
  • Soundbodysoundmind
    Soundbodysoundmind Posts: 45 Member
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    seanm560 wrote: »
    Have you recently started birth control?

    I'm not on BC and I haven't since I was 18, but I started a new depression medication called brintellix, it doesn't feel like it's helping much.
  • seanm560
    seanm560 Posts: 21 Member
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    I would check with your PCP and ask if they could prescribe you something else and see if that helps. And congrats on getting married
  • Soundbodysoundmind
    Soundbodysoundmind Posts: 45 Member
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    seanm560 wrote: »
    I would check with your PCP and ask if they could prescribe you something else and see if that helps. And congrats on getting married

    Thank you!

    I know and this is the 3rd one I've been on within the past year. It's just frustrating because I feel like I won't ever be happy and I don't know what changed.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    Definitely speak to a professional since you have a history of disordered eating. And talk with your doctor about your anti-depressant. If it's not working, you need to switch it, even if it's the 80th time. The last thing you need to have happen on your wedding day is to be depressed and have anxiety. Pretty sure that will not bode well...

    Good luck!
  • chocolate_owl
    chocolate_owl Posts: 1,695 Member
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    Changing medications can have big effects. Also, weddings can be $^#*$_* stressful - all the details, all the planning, everyone needing something from you or needing you to make a decision. For people with anxiety, there's all sorts of things going on with weddings that can be triggers. Is there anyone currently being a drama llama and sapping your energy? If so, tell your fiance or a supportive friend, and try to set some boundaries so this person doesn't trigger an anxiety attack or your BED.

    Somewhere in there, you do care. You know that punishing yourself by eating will only make it worse, and you shouldn't be punishing yourself at all - you should be loving yourself, and loving your fiance, and loving the people in your life about to celebrate a milestone with you. Carve out time for yourself in the next couple of weeks to relax. Listen to music, take a bubble bath, take a walk. After the wedding is over, focus on the bigger picture, but right now, focus on making it to the big day in a happy and healthy state.

    If you haven't already found them, Offbeat Bride and A Practical Wedding are great blogs with content addressing the struggles women with mental health issues have when planning weddings. Maybe you'll find some inspiration and encouragement there.
  • Soundbodysoundmind
    Soundbodysoundmind Posts: 45 Member
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    Changing medications can have big effects. Also, weddings can be $^#*$_* stressful - all the details, all the planning, everyone needing something from you or needing you to make a decision. For people with anxiety, there's all sorts of things going on with weddings that can be triggers. Is there anyone currently being a drama llama and sapping your energy? If so, tell your fiance or a supportive friend, and try to set some boundaries so this person doesn't trigger an anxiety attack or your BED.

    Somewhere in there, you do care. You know that punishing yourself by eating will only make it worse, and you shouldn't be punishing yourself at all - you should be loving yourself, and loving your fiance, and loving the people in your life about to celebrate a milestone with you. Carve out time for yourself in the next couple of weeks to relax. Listen to music, take a bubble bath, take a walk. After the wedding is over, focus on the bigger picture, but right now, focus on making it to the big day in a happy and healthy state.

    If you haven't already found them, Offbeat Bride and A Practical Wedding are great blogs with content addressing the struggles women with mental health issues have when planning weddings. Maybe you'll find some inspiration and encouragement there.



    Lol! Drama llama made me laugh!
    There really isn't anyone. It's just the anticipation.
    I do care, but I just feel like not caring is easier, I feel like I'm stressed out enough, that's not something I need to add. Do you get what I mean?
    I will definitely look at those, I've never heard of them!
  • Soundbodysoundmind
    Soundbodysoundmind Posts: 45 Member
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    Ninkyou wrote: »
    Definitely speak to a professional since you have a history of disordered eating. And talk with your doctor about your anti-depressant. If it's not working, you need to switch it, even if it's the 80th time. The last thing you need to have happen on your wedding day is to be depressed and have anxiety. Pretty sure that will not bode well...

    Good luck!

    I have a therapist I see, and her advice helps, but it's like she can't fix me and I'm trying to find a way to fix myself. That's what's so hard.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    Hi, I'm 21 years old and My wedding is in 2 weeks. I weighed myself this morning and I have gained 10-15 pounds within the past two months. I'm just starting to feel like I don't care. I also have depression, anxiety and binge eating disorder and I am just getting more depressed and self conscious. I'm hating myself more and I'm getting to the point that I want to punish myself by eating more because of my weight gain. I really need help or advice because I am at a loss.

    You are stressed, that's all. Lots going on in your young life.

    Couple things you can do (I suffer from depression and do these still):

    First, realize that depression is nothing more than chemicals in your body being unbalanced and making your emotions give you the feelings you have. While the ultimate goal is to learn to control them, I know when I was in throws of some pretty bad depressed states I would start telling myself to "just float", which was a mantra to kind of detach my actions from my emotions. So no matter how I felt I made sure I was doing the good things I should be doing. When you start to consciously recognize that chemical imbalance in you, you start to gain control over it and have a solid footing to work through it. You can do this.

    Exercise. It is the best medicine! The great thing is, even when you don't feel like exercising, make yourself do it because by the end you will feel better/accomplished. Your body will get the same benefit no matter if you feel great and excited to exercise, or if you make yourself go through the work and motions.

    Try to moderate eating more times in a week than not. Don't make even more stress by thinking about your eating every minute of every day. That creates a negative mental spiral. Just moderate your intake as much as you can, and allow for a little leeway right now - say, eat within calories a few days but just worry about maintenance calories one or two days a week.

    MORE POSITIVE TALK! The number one thing that makes you feel like a failure is you continually telling yourself you are a failure. Again, that creates a mental spiral of negative talk and it will drag you down even further if you let it.

    Don't be afraid or feel less than what you are. You are AMAZING and you can work through it! The hardest battles will always be the ones you fight against yourself, but soon you realize that you know your enemy quite well and will always win.

    All the best.
  • indiecupcake89
    indiecupcake89 Posts: 26 Member
    edited April 2016
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    You sound like me minus the getting married part. I have depression, BED, gained 10 lbs and and don't have motivation for losing weight anymore. That's so great you are getting married! I don't have a significant other and at this point I'm starting to think I never will...
  • RosemaryBronte
    RosemaryBronte Posts: 103 Member
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    Try thinking of your emotions like they are a horse that you're riding. Like a horse, emotions can carry you forward and that's good but if they get out of control they take you places you don't want to go. Talk to your feelings and say 'Steady there. Calm down.' Find a calm place inside yourself and use that calm to manage those feelings without crushing them. Horses need rest and so do your feelings. Take time to listen to lovely music or meditate to soothe yourself. Give your feelings attention. Are you marrying a man who respects you? Do his family treat you caringly? Are your feelings telling you something you should listen to? Or are you stressed with wedding preparations? You need kindness and caring, not punishment, so please be patient and loving to yourself.