Success? Or Self-Sabotage?
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Rebecca,
I am usually pretty quiet on the forums, I come on here daily to read the posts. Your post today really struck a chord with me...I want to give you a big thumbs up for such a wonderful, inspiring message!
This is exactly how I am feeling. I turned 50 this year and am so fed up with the diet industry! I am sick and tired of feeling like a failure everytime I attempt a weight loss program only to give up after a few weeks because I am dying inside and extremely unhappy! I refuse to give up bread, chocolate, or beer...these are the things that keep me sane! I think everything in moderation if a good thing. Everytime I tell myself that I can't have this or that, it leads to bingeing and unhappiness! I have been going around on this merry go round for the last 30 or so years! I don't have much weight to lose, 20-30 pounds, but can never seem to get there! I start these "fad" diet programs, only to fail after a couple weeks because they are too restrictive and I end up bingeing!
I did a so called popular 21 day program in January that said I could lose up to 20 pounds in 21 days. I was so excited to recieve the program in the mail. I started it with gusto, but soon after, probably about the 6th day, I was tired of it! I absolutely hated the exercises that were supposed to be done everyday for 21 days, I hated the woman that was on the video...she was so annoying, but everyday I forced myself to do them! I measured all my "allowed" foods into little coloured containers for 21 days, which was a pain in the you know what! Ya, I did lose 7 pounds, but gained it all back because I went crazy afterwards! It wasn't cheap either! It came with a shake that you had to drink once a day that was supposed to make me feel like Superwoman...it did absolutely nothing for me, except empty my wallet! That "miracle" shake was $140.00 USD a month! Craziness!
I really enjoyed your post and this is exactly how I feel! I am doing alot better now, enjoying the foods I love and the exercise I love and LIVING my life and still losing weight! As a matter of fact, I've lost 2 pound in the last two weeks! We are in it for the long haul! Health doesn't happen in 21 days, its a lifetime of making good choices and having little indulgences once in awhile! Keep posting your wonderful inspiring posts! If you wrote a book, I would most certainly buy it!!
Donna
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cartersmom06 wrote: »Rebecca,
I am usually pretty quiet on the forums, I come on here daily to read the posts. Your post today really struck a chord with me...I want to give you a big thumbs up for such a wonderful, inspiring message!
This is exactly how I am feeling. I turned 50 this year and am so fed up with the diet industry! I am sick and tired of feeling like a failure everytime I attempt a weight loss program only to give up after a few weeks because I am dying inside and extremely unhappy! I refuse to give up bread, chocolate, or beer...these are the things that keep me sane! I think everything in moderation if a good thing. Everytime I tell myself that I can't have this or that, it leads to bingeing and unhappiness! I have been going around on this merry go round for the last 30 or so years! I don't have much weight to lose, 20-30 pounds, but can never seem to get there! I start these "fad" diet programs, only to fail after a couple weeks because they are too restrictive and I end up bingeing!
I did a so called popular 21 day program in January that said I could lose up to 20 pounds in 21 days. I was so excited to recieve the program in the mail. I started it with gusto, but soon after, probably about the 6th day, I was tired of it! I absolutely hated the exercises that were supposed to be done everyday for 21 days, I hated the woman that was on the video...she was so annoying, but everyday I forced myself to do them! I measured all my "allowed" foods into little coloured containers for 21 days, which was a pain in the you know what! Ya, I did lose 7 pounds, but gained it all back because I went crazy afterwards! It wasn't cheap either! It came with a shake that you had to drink once a day that was supposed to make me feel like Superwoman...it did absolutely nothing for me, except empty my wallet! That "miracle" shake was $140.00 USD a month! Craziness!
I really enjoyed your post and this is exactly how I feel! I am doing alot better now, enjoying the foods I love and the exercise I love and LIVING my life and still losing weight! As a matter of fact, I've lost 2 pound in the last two weeks! We are in it for the long haul! Health doesn't happen in 21 days, its a lifetime of making good choices and having little indulgences once in awhile! Keep posting your wonderful inspiring posts! If you wrote a book, I would most certainly buy it!!
Donna
Ha Ha HA! (for books, go here: godlikepoet.com)
I'm glad you can relate. And from what I've seen from reading the titles of posts, lots of people can too. All this nonsense about "carbs" and "fat" and "sugars." Folks are worried about the sugar in fruit and carrots. It is insane. I doubt anybody on MFP gained weight from eating carrots! Or oranges.6 -
Excellent. Thanks for posting!1
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I too am in the same age bracket with the same daily struggles and have been a master at beating myself up and the "all or nothing" philosophy and none of that has worked for me! I just recently started logging again with the attitude of one day at a time for life. I decided to look in the community section for some inspiration and guidance, and I stumbled across your post. Well it hit home, so thank you for sharing and reminding us that it is a life long venture, not a quick fix, and to love and forgive ourselves and to keep on keeping on! Thanks for sharing!2
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This is amazing and thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your story. I can relate to so much of this. Please feel free to add me if you need another friend on here.0
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THANK YOU! I so needed to hear this today!1
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caughtredhandd83 wrote: »This is amazing and thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your story. I can relate to so much of this. Please feel free to add me if you need another friend on here.
I don't know how to add, but you can add me.0 -
This is the single best post I've read about "forging on." I'll be reading this frequently. Thank you for your wise words.1
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Very inspirational I have enjoyed your blogs in the last couple of days. Saying it like it is even though it can be hard to hear.1
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Great message. Thanks for sharing!1
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I like this:
"And I don’t lose control and “pig out” every day. Do you know why? Because I WANT to lose weight. I WANT to feel better. Most of the time I WANT to feel better and lose weight MORE than I want to eat a pizza and a bag of chips."
What I don't quite get is: isn't that depriving yourself? A friend, trying to be kind, advised me "don't deprive yourself!" and I thought "crap, I deprive myself every day!" But they are deprivations I want to make. Does that make it not count as a deprivation?2 -
You know it's a bit liberating reading your posts. The first one your words stuck in my head about making choices. That food is my choice, no one else's. I can't tell you how that smacked me in the face, because actually my subconscious believes what I eat isn't my choice. My Mother, my husband, my friends - I feel they all dictate me a bit and that I let them down. Stupid right!? What the hell.
This point about logging everything every day - I watched a seminar yesterday at work presented by a professor from Harvard. It was about bias. There were a few activities in there which pointed out how powerful our subconscious is. How we can be so focused on a task that we miss the ridiculously obvious or weird completely. Honestly it's so eye opening, watch something on you tube called "The Selective Attention Test"! I could not believe how blind 100% of the room was to it.
I believe your point about logging is related to that selective attention, a way to get us out of auto mode of past learnings and show us all the truth - to stop being blind. That's so important, you're so very right!
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I like this:
"And I don’t lose control and “pig out” every day. Do you know why? Because I WANT to lose weight. I WANT to feel better. Most of the time I WANT to feel better and lose weight MORE than I want to eat a pizza and a bag of chips."
What I don't quite get is: isn't that depriving yourself? A friend, trying to be kind, advised me "don't deprive yourself!" and I thought "crap, I deprive myself every day!" But they are deprivations I want to make. Does that make it not count as a deprivation?
I suppose it looks like deprivation, but I think of it in terms of choices. I wanted ice cream today so I had some. I got a cone from Sonic. I didn't go to the store and get a pint, or a half gallon. I could have but I knew I'd be satisfied with a cone. For supper just now, I wanted pizza. We ordered a medium Pepperoni. What I would have loved is a large pizza instead. I would have loved to eat four slices of that large pizza. But I chose to eat two pieces of the medium. And I feel great! I've had pizza and ice cream today. If I had told myself not to have pizza and ice cream because they are "bad" foods that are very "bad" for me, then I would feel VERY DEPRIVED. And soon or later I'd give into my "cravings" and "cheat" and feel guilty and stuffed, because at that point I would have a lot more than two pieces of pizza. So do I eat everything I want all the time? No. Do I feel deprived? Sometimes. But I also feel like I'm in control and I don't try to fool myself into thinking I'm not. And by the way, sometimes I really want to eat mindlessly. So I allow myself to do that. I get a big bag of chips, settle down in my chair, and eat as many as I possibly can. But then, I LOG all those chips on MFP. and that's how I make this thing work for me.6 -
This is by far one of the best posts I've read on here.1
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Okay! I don't feel deprived, even though I deny myself many foods many times ... because I have a secret treat that I love, and indulge in all the time! Lifeway kefir.
It helps me choose to avoid those other foods since I know I'll be happy with the kefir.1 -
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You know it's a bit liberating reading your posts. The first one your words stuck in my head about making choices. That food is my choice, no one else's. I can't tell you how that smacked me in the face, because actually my subconscious believes what I eat isn't my choice. My Mother, my husband, my friends - I feel they all dictate me a bit and that I let them down. Stupid right!? What the hell.
This point about logging everything every day - I watched a seminar yesterday at work presented by a professor from Harvard. It was about bias. There were a few activities in there which pointed out how powerful our subconscious is. How we can be so focused on a task that we miss the ridiculously obvious or weird completely. Honestly it's so eye opening, watch something on you tube called "The Selective Attention Test"! I could not believe how blind 100% of the room was to it.
I believe your point about logging is related to that selective attention, a way to get us out of auto mode of past learnings and show us all the truth - to stop being blind. That's so important, you're so very right!
I will watch this! I do think that autopilot has everything to do with it. Habits are so hard to undo because it feels so good to stay on that well-groomed track in the brain--that little trough. After a while we will fight to stay in that trap while also not even being aware that we are even trapped in there. That's what it feels like when I want to eat the rest of the cookies in the bag, even when I don't really want them. Earlier, I decided to eat the rest of the cookies in the bag in my kitchen. I started out with the intention of eating two servings and I counted them out. But I had brought the whole bag up to my room and I knew the likelihood of eating more. I wanted to fool myself, then, when I knew I was going to eat the rest of the bag, I really wanted to ignore what I was doing. But I didn't. I ate all the cookies and kept myself aware the entire time. It's very odd to watch myself eat a bunch of cookies and not feel scared or guilty. I just feel like I ate a bag of cookies. It's a choice I made. I chose to do it. Part of me would rather I hadn't eaten them, but that old feeling of needing to punish myself isn't there. But good lord, it would be so easy to slip back into that old comfortable awful trap.2 -
Wow. I had to read this twice as my eyes were to watery the first time.
Possibly the best advice / support / honest, heartfelt writing I've read on weight/food/dieting.
I was literally halfway through a bowl of sugary cereal I had no intention of logging and I've chucked it.
I'm saving this post to read every day.
Thank you xx
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