Success? Or Self-Sabotage?
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I like this:
"And I don’t lose control and “pig out” every day. Do you know why? Because I WANT to lose weight. I WANT to feel better. Most of the time I WANT to feel better and lose weight MORE than I want to eat a pizza and a bag of chips."
What I don't quite get is: isn't that depriving yourself? A friend, trying to be kind, advised me "don't deprive yourself!" and I thought "crap, I deprive myself every day!" But they are deprivations I want to make. Does that make it not count as a deprivation?2 -
You know it's a bit liberating reading your posts. The first one your words stuck in my head about making choices. That food is my choice, no one else's. I can't tell you how that smacked me in the face, because actually my subconscious believes what I eat isn't my choice. My Mother, my husband, my friends - I feel they all dictate me a bit and that I let them down. Stupid right!? What the hell.
This point about logging everything every day - I watched a seminar yesterday at work presented by a professor from Harvard. It was about bias. There were a few activities in there which pointed out how powerful our subconscious is. How we can be so focused on a task that we miss the ridiculously obvious or weird completely. Honestly it's so eye opening, watch something on you tube called "The Selective Attention Test"! I could not believe how blind 100% of the room was to it.
I believe your point about logging is related to that selective attention, a way to get us out of auto mode of past learnings and show us all the truth - to stop being blind. That's so important, you're so very right!
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I like this:
"And I don’t lose control and “pig out” every day. Do you know why? Because I WANT to lose weight. I WANT to feel better. Most of the time I WANT to feel better and lose weight MORE than I want to eat a pizza and a bag of chips."
What I don't quite get is: isn't that depriving yourself? A friend, trying to be kind, advised me "don't deprive yourself!" and I thought "crap, I deprive myself every day!" But they are deprivations I want to make. Does that make it not count as a deprivation?
I suppose it looks like deprivation, but I think of it in terms of choices. I wanted ice cream today so I had some. I got a cone from Sonic. I didn't go to the store and get a pint, or a half gallon. I could have but I knew I'd be satisfied with a cone. For supper just now, I wanted pizza. We ordered a medium Pepperoni. What I would have loved is a large pizza instead. I would have loved to eat four slices of that large pizza. But I chose to eat two pieces of the medium. And I feel great! I've had pizza and ice cream today. If I had told myself not to have pizza and ice cream because they are "bad" foods that are very "bad" for me, then I would feel VERY DEPRIVED. And soon or later I'd give into my "cravings" and "cheat" and feel guilty and stuffed, because at that point I would have a lot more than two pieces of pizza. So do I eat everything I want all the time? No. Do I feel deprived? Sometimes. But I also feel like I'm in control and I don't try to fool myself into thinking I'm not. And by the way, sometimes I really want to eat mindlessly. So I allow myself to do that. I get a big bag of chips, settle down in my chair, and eat as many as I possibly can. But then, I LOG all those chips on MFP. and that's how I make this thing work for me.6 -
This is by far one of the best posts I've read on here.1
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Okay! I don't feel deprived, even though I deny myself many foods many times ... because I have a secret treat that I love, and indulge in all the time! Lifeway kefir.
It helps me choose to avoid those other foods since I know I'll be happy with the kefir.1 -
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You know it's a bit liberating reading your posts. The first one your words stuck in my head about making choices. That food is my choice, no one else's. I can't tell you how that smacked me in the face, because actually my subconscious believes what I eat isn't my choice. My Mother, my husband, my friends - I feel they all dictate me a bit and that I let them down. Stupid right!? What the hell.
This point about logging everything every day - I watched a seminar yesterday at work presented by a professor from Harvard. It was about bias. There were a few activities in there which pointed out how powerful our subconscious is. How we can be so focused on a task that we miss the ridiculously obvious or weird completely. Honestly it's so eye opening, watch something on you tube called "The Selective Attention Test"! I could not believe how blind 100% of the room was to it.
I believe your point about logging is related to that selective attention, a way to get us out of auto mode of past learnings and show us all the truth - to stop being blind. That's so important, you're so very right!
I will watch this! I do think that autopilot has everything to do with it. Habits are so hard to undo because it feels so good to stay on that well-groomed track in the brain--that little trough. After a while we will fight to stay in that trap while also not even being aware that we are even trapped in there. That's what it feels like when I want to eat the rest of the cookies in the bag, even when I don't really want them. Earlier, I decided to eat the rest of the cookies in the bag in my kitchen. I started out with the intention of eating two servings and I counted them out. But I had brought the whole bag up to my room and I knew the likelihood of eating more. I wanted to fool myself, then, when I knew I was going to eat the rest of the bag, I really wanted to ignore what I was doing. But I didn't. I ate all the cookies and kept myself aware the entire time. It's very odd to watch myself eat a bunch of cookies and not feel scared or guilty. I just feel like I ate a bag of cookies. It's a choice I made. I chose to do it. Part of me would rather I hadn't eaten them, but that old feeling of needing to punish myself isn't there. But good lord, it would be so easy to slip back into that old comfortable awful trap.2 -
Wow. I had to read this twice as my eyes were to watery the first time.
Possibly the best advice / support / honest, heartfelt writing I've read on weight/food/dieting.
I was literally halfway through a bowl of sugary cereal I had no intention of logging and I've chucked it.
I'm saving this post to read every day.
Thank you xx
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I love your posts! Do you have a blog?0
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My sentiment entirely. I realised a long while ago this was going to be a journey of lifestyle change, not a diet.
Keep going!
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yesterday i went over close to 1000 cals. i didnt go to the gym. i also had a large cone from dairy queen and ate too many carbs, but you know what...its OK! the most important thing about losing weight is being honest with ourselves and not giving up. yesterday was yesterday, and today is another day. as i write this, im putting on my gym clothes and hitting the elliptical like i have been every day this week.
a very huge thank you for this post!2 -
You are correct. Being honest. Logging all those calories no matter how angry or ashamed you feel.1
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Excellent post! This is exactly where I am. Took me 50 years to get here.2
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Man! Have you been spying on me? Awesome blog! this is so me! Going to have to bookmark this and reread it often! Thanks so much!0
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Thank you for this.0
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I love your posts ❤️ Have you ever heard that pain/anger from your past and present on a subconscious level can contribute to fibromyalgia? Check out this book for help with it. It helped mine and my mom's and many others. I never thought a book could help with pain, but I am doing so much better. And thanks for the inspiring post!
https://www.amazon.com/Mindbody-Prescription-Healing-Body-Pain/dp/0446675156/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1472064505&sr=1-5&keywords=Prescription+for+healing
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Why can't I mark this as liked, insightful and awesome? This post is hands-down one of the best things I've read on this site. Well done.0
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It was awesome. Can I add you to my friends?0
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Very inspiring post!0
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This is awesome.
I'm 53 and working on losing, again. I have done pretty well the past month. I get frustrated when I get on the scales and it hasn't moved (I want to see it go down a pound everyday! Lol- though I know that's impossible). I KNOW what I need to do to lose. I've done it before, then got lazy and the weight came back on. For me, eating less and moving more usually works. When I lost all my weight before, I did not deprive myself of any of my favorite foods- I just ate less of them- and most people couldn't believe I still ate pizza, cookies, etc. I think one of our main problems is we want immediate results, forgetting that it takes time to lose.
Everyone needs to read this.0
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