Does my family want me to fail????

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girlygirl761
girlygirl761 Posts: 14 Member
in Motivation and Support
My mom is staying with me for 7 weeks. Before she came, I explained that I was trying to make healthier eating choices & I don't want to eat at restaurants often. She agreed. Now that she is here, she has made plans for us to meet family & friends at different restaurants on at least 10 occasions. I'm so frustrated because I'm not good at making healthy choices in restaurants. Does anyone else have family members that sabotage them? Should I just quit MFP and start again when she leaves?
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Replies

  • ShannonC779
    ShannonC779 Posts: 17
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    No don't quit. See if you can find the menu's online and plan your meals that way.
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
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    No, log everything, even the really bad days. Maybe the next time your mom makes reservations somewhere, you politely decline to go with her (even if it is to meet family). When she asks why, calmly explain to her again that it is damaging to your weight loss goals. Maybe she'll get the hint. Otherwise, most restaurant chains have their nutrition facts on their website. If not, at least their menus. Try to pre-plan and find something healthy before you go. Good luck! Hang in there. :)
  • calimari
    calimari Posts: 202 Member
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    10 restaurants in 7 weeks is not more than once a week. I usually go out once a week - and while I might not be "perfect" on my diary, I am definately making better choices than I used to. Go out - make better choices. You have to learn how not to sabotage yourself!
  • NancyAnne1960
    NancyAnne1960 Posts: 500 Member
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    Hang in there!!! When confronted with the family at a restaurant (thank goodness for internet) I always check out the restaurant menu before we go to dinner and decide what would be the best choice. That's one place MFP has been really handy. I can input info, and adjust until I get the right combination that keeps me on track. Learning so much, and so far, so good. I don't even pick up the menu when I get there, so as not to tempt me. Good luck and have fun with your family!
  • MarieNevada
    MarieNevada Posts: 395 Member
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    absolutely do not quit. almost every restaurant has healthy choices. do not be afraid to ask for something off the menu. every restaurant can prepare you a simple grilled chicken breast. have any dressing on the side, steer clear of starchy sides such as potatoes and white rice. opt for simple grilled fish. don't let your family sabotage you. they're usually teh last to clue in that you're serious.
  • paulasuscas01
    paulasuscas01 Posts: 73 Member
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    I don't know if it is sabotage but I know sometimes my mom makes food that isn't exactly the healthiest and of course I am tempted. It can be difficult. The only advice I can give you is: DON'T GIVE UP!!! You can do this! :) If the restaurant has a website, try looking at the menu beforehand so you have an idea of what would be the better option to order. Good luck!
  • uniqute1888
    uniqute1888 Posts: 182 Member
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    My boyfriend derails me a lot "stay n cuddle with me" "I love your chicken parm" blah blah blah... He travels a lot and when he's away i stay on my healthy habits ... I feel your pain- but dont quit! One choice at a time one day at a time!
  • ritaadkins2002
    ritaadkins2002 Posts: 371 Member
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    u might want to ask food to be prepared a certain way without all the calories. or u could make a suggestion to your mom that u would like to pick the restuarant that is healthy in choice. Don't be afraid to tell the waiter how u want your food cooked. they can do this. hope this helps
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
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    Look up the restaurants before you go and see their menu and plan it out.

    Don't quit! Eating out is part of life and it can be done healthy.

    My mom doesn't try to sabotage me but she thinks I'm doing everything wrong. lol. Oh well.

    Good luck!
  • ESVABelle
    ESVABelle Posts: 1,264 Member
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    No. This is the part where you put your big girl panties on. Not good at restaurants? Start planning now. Going to Outback, check MFP food diary...scope out what you could/should have.

    Increase your physical activity if you know you just can't pass up those damn blooming onions (with the yummy dipping sauce too). Suggest taking a walk once you get home to help burn off a bit of dinner.

    When you order your food, ask them to box up half. They'll do it. That way, if you clean your plate, you've only technically cleaned half of it.

    Be smart. Be strong. And for God's sake, don't give up!!! We got your back, girl!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I totally agree with Shannon. Get the book "Eat This, Not That". It will totally help you make smart choices when eating out. I don't think your mom is intentionally sabotaging you. Maybe it would help to introduce her to the site. I know I'm making a big assumption about your mom needing to lose weight, but the site is really good about allowing you to monitor other nutritional needs.
  • themyriadthings
    themyriadthings Posts: 225 Member
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    Can you politely remind her of what she agreed to and then suggest alternatives? Perhaps you could meet family and friends at non-food venues like a park or the museum? Even if you were to go to coffee/tea shops instead of restaurants then you could just have a light beverage while others do their snacking... All the best with your choices! :)
  • 1horsetown
    1horsetown Posts: 247 Member
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    I ask for a take home box when I get my meal and put half of my food in it before I pick up my fork.

    And...yes...sometimes they do want you to fail.
  • Scorpioangel
    Scorpioangel Posts: 951 Member
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    No do not quit MFP. I agree with the others on here - just log everything good or bad and make the healthiest choices that you can! :) Good luck and enjoy your time with your mom :)
  • uniqute1888
    uniqute1888 Posts: 182 Member
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    Oh and as much as I love the restaurant i work for - Avoid PF Changs unless you eat the dish steamed and sauce on side. Or the Budhas Feast (steamed veggies n protein) lol.. Good luck!
  • ashshort
    ashshort Posts: 8
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    Go to www.dwlz.com and click on restaurants. Has most every restaurant you can think of including calorie content so you can make better food choices. Hang in there! My mom is the same way when she is not on a diet with me. It makes things difficult. Stick to your guns though and you will be rewarded!
  • elliecolorado
    elliecolorado Posts: 1,040
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    No, don't quit! If you have to go out and eat just plan ahead look up the nutrition info online if you can and decide what you are going to have before you go. And you can get a salad just about everywhere just have no dressing or dressing on the side and little or no cheese if they put cheese on it. Or things like grilled chicken with a salad or veggies are available a lot of places. And you can always ask for a to go box with the meal and put half in the to go box before you even start eating. You can go out and still make healthy choices :)
  • amber_bamber
    amber_bamber Posts: 86 Member
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    Stick to it!!! There are some great suggetions already. I log everything that I can, even when going out to eat.
  • juliapurpletoes
    juliapurpletoes Posts: 951 Member
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    No absolutely do not quit! Your mom is just doing what they do when they visit, I do not think it would be personal (although I don't know your mom!) I just don't think she must like to cook and entertain "in". I have one like that too!

    So, what you need are tricks for when you go out...right?

    Put your thinking cap on girl cause you are not without brains!! Eat well before hand.....then ...order a glass of wine, salad and eat 1/2 the entree pushing the rest around on your plate...look at all choices and pick the best..........say oops i forgot and ate alot beforehand.......

    got a million of them...don't stress. Moms are weird (i'm one!)

    You can do this :smokin:
  • TonjaWL
    TonjaWL Posts: 9 Member
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    Don't quit.. Talk to your mom. I'm sure she loves you and wants the best for you, just explain to her that it's hard for you to make good choices at restaurants and that you don't want to continue to put yourself in that position. I'm sure that if you tell her that the plans she's made make you feel like she's not respecting your efforts she will understand and stop. Food is such a part of our lives that she probably doesn't even realize what she is doing. Try offering other suggestions of ways to get together so that both your needs and her needs are met.

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