Does my family want me to fail????

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  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
    10 restaurants in 7 weeks is not more than once a week. I usually go out once a week - and while I might not be "perfect" on my diary, I am definately making better choices than I used to. Go out - make better choices. You have to learn how not to sabotage yourself!

    Um, yes it is. It is 3 times more than once in a week. That is unreasonable.

    If weight loss is not important to her, if having a healthy, happy daughter isn't important, tell her your cannot financially meet the obligation. Make up any other reason, since you've already given her the truth and that didn't satisfy.

    You could also eat very obviously before you go. If you are full you can have a glass of unsweetened tea or a small side salad with no dressing and just tell everyone you came for the company and ate at home.

    Good luck!
  • daniellerp
    daniellerp Posts: 21
    I know what you mean....my mom is the exact same way and she's so thin she's never worried about food.
    My parents eat out all the time and live right around the corner...my husband often works through dinner and they are always calling and asking me to go to dinner with them. Just tonight I was over there swiming and I caught them feeding my kids hot dogs and chinese food leftovers for dinner!
    Anyways, I found a GREAT website DWLZ.com it's "Dottie's weight loss zone" and she has a ton of restaurant menus broken down (very simply) and even includes Weight Watcher points. It's the best way to know exactly what you're eating to continue logging it.
    Good Luck!
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
    I don't think she wants you to fail, it's just the problem with our society today. My parents know that I need to keep my weight down for my job and every time Igo home my mother wants to make a huge list of all these meals, every day she asks me what i want for dinner. It's like life revolves around food. I try and ask them to go hiking or walk around downtown instead but, sadly, life seems to revolve around food. Unless you have a very active family it's hard let them know you are serious about getting healthy. Another problem I've noticed is that my family may accept me for who I am (which is good yes) but in this acceptance they subconsiously seem to get in the way of my getting healthy and in shape. I wouldn't doubt if this were the same for many people on here, which is why this site is so vital for many people without a good support system at home. Just do your best with what you have, make good choices that you know you can handle and remember that no matter how hard it is, you're in charge and you have supporters. Hopefully one day she will appreciate what you are doing.
  • spgabby86
    spgabby86 Posts: 323 Member
    Look up the restaurants before you go and see their menu and plan it out.

    This really saved me when my dad came to visit.

    The only MFP cliche more annoying to me than "my journey" is "its a life-style change" but it really is true. If you want to keep the weight off once its gone you will need to keep your good habits or you'll be right back where you started again. Your mom will probably be visiting again someday or there will be other circumstances where you're going to eat out and here is your opportunity to start learning how to make it work for you!

    I agree with all the post - this is a life-style change, so we all must learned to manage ourselves when eating out. Let's face it, eating out is what we do, and doing it once a week can be fine, if we make healthier choices. I agree review the menue before leaving, box 1/2, asked them to cook without adding the butter, special sauces etc etc etc.

    Remember you MFP Fam is here for you...don't give up and remember how you got here! Increase your exercise for the
    week(s) that you will be eating out, EAT some thing HEALTHY prior to arrive at the restaurant and once there DRINK LOTS OF WATER before the meal arrives.

    Don't hold yourslef hostage, relax and know you can manage yourself, and if you slip up, then be prepared the next day to get back on track. Heck we all trip up even when we don't eat out...(smile)

    You can do this! :flowerforyou:
  • tolygal
    tolygal Posts: 602 Member
    I understand - I have trouble being good at restaraunts a lot of times too. And when I'm on a roll and being consistent, I can get really cranky when something (or someone) changes things up fo rme. It's HARD for me to pass up the yummy stuff, and it's even harder for me to get back on track once I have something (even one thing) I wouldn't normally eat. So I get it!!

    But.....looking from the outside in... try to remember that it's not only about you (I mean that in the nicest way possible - believe me, I have to tell myself that a lot :smile: ). Other people have needs too, and your mom is probably just doing what's normal for her - I doubt she wants you to fail. Most places have something that is either healthy or can be cooked in a healthier way. Just plan ahead. And if you want to eat something extra - just do some extra excercise to make up for it.

    So try hard not to stress about it. And remember not to blame anyone else if you stray - what you put in your mouth is under your control. Try not to think of it as sabatoge, because it's probably not (of course, I don't know your mom). It's probably just people doing normal people things.
  • aneisiena
    aneisiena Posts: 63
    To echo everyone else...MFP will actually provide you with support during these tough times. Everyone has a story and, believe it or not, there will be people in your same--or similar--situations.

    Try to increase your activity if you know you'll be splurging those weeks. At the very least, you won't put on any weight. Then you can get back on your regular fitness plan when the weeks are over.

    Best of luck!
  • kje2011
    kje2011 Posts: 502 Member
    PROVE IT!!!
    prove it that you can make healthy choices and set an example in front of your mom and your family!! It may be hard, but that is a good goal to acheive!!!! You can do it....for you!!!
    I just came back from visiting my mom and dad...No support from my mom at all. She told me to eat more 'good stuff' as there is a plate of dainties on the table and I should quit exercising!
    sometimes I cave to sweets, but most of the time I prove that I can and will be healthy.
    Diabetes, high blood pressure,strokes/heart attacks, obesity runs in my family!
    I want to be my age in health, not a 40 year old going on to 70, and try to stay away from prescription drugs etc.
    Sorry for the bit of a rant,
    But I support you.
    Good luck on your weight loss journey!!!
    smiles:)
  • Kinda79
    Kinda79 Posts: 239 Member
    No don't quit. See if you can find the menu's online and plan your meals that way.

    This is a great idea! I would go online to the restaurant's menu, pick out what I wanted before I went that way when they bring you the menu just hand it back and not look at it. This way you already know what you want and you can't be persuaded to change your mind. I've done this several times and have saved me several extra days of working out.

    And for sure DON'T GIVE UP! This is just a test and we all know you can pass it!
  • EmmaR31
    EmmaR31 Posts: 184
    No. This is the part where you put your big girl panties on. Not good at restaurants? Start planning now. Going to Outback, check MFP food diary...scope out what you could/should have.

    Increase your physical activity if you know you just can't pass up those damn blooming onions (with the yummy dipping sauce too). Suggest taking a walk once you get home to help burn off a bit of dinner.

    When you order your food, ask them to box up half. They'll do it. That way, if you clean your plate, you've only technically cleaned half of it.

    Be smart. Be strong. And for God's sake, don't give up!!! We got your back, girl!



    Exactly what she said :)
  • girlygirl761
    girlygirl761 Posts: 14 Member
    Thanks for all the great advice & support!! Its nice to know that other people have had similar issues and were still able to succeed with their weight loss.
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