WARNING: Long Entry...I'm in my 40s. Can anyone relate?

Heather_71
Heather_71 Posts: 8 Member
edited December 1 in Motivation and Support
Stats: 44 yo female; 5'4" 140 pounds

Okay so I'm not overweight but dang I'm in a funk. Can any gals relate to what I share here? (Sorry dudes...but I'm just not interested...)

You know the story....I'm a mom of two teens. Working full time. Married for 22 years. Yep....22 years... ;-)

For I'd say the last 10 years, I've had a strong interest in fitness and eating right.

Something snapped in me this past year. I can blame it on all sorts of things, but the bottom line is that I just kind of gave up. I let life's stresses get the best of me. And I still do.

Even though I'm not overweight, I'm not as toned as I used to be. My clothes don't fit right anymore.

But do I do anything about it? Hellz no! Not sure why. I just am not getting the motivation to get out of this and instead just find myself wanting to "feel better" by eating food. I don't want to deny myself. It's like I'm rebelling. Have you/do you go through this? It torments my mind every day! I'm so sick of it.

I want to do better. I want to eat better. Get my fitness mojo back. But I try and then give up. Try again and give up. What happened to me!?!

Just shout "squirrel" and I'm eating that mini candy bar (x5) at the office....or ordering my lunch out instead of making my meal from home....or....yeah....some of you get this, I hope.

But I look okay, not awful. So maybe I'll just keep on bending the rules. But then I get more depressed about how I feel. But dang that red wine sure looks good....

I'm just wondering if there's anyone out there who can relate to this. I'm just testing the waters with MFP at this point. If you look at my profile you'll see zilch. I'm not interested in making a ton of superficial connections. Just a few that maybe I can find a common connection with and maybe, just maybe, that will be the magic accountability I'm looking for.

Can anyone relate or will I hear chirping crickets?

Replies

  • marseeyaartdeco
    marseeyaartdeco Posts: 13 Member
    :) I do understand the pain. I'm in my late forties and suffered a horrible year in 2015 that drove me to the point that when I finally took a good look myself, I was already NOT recognizing myself!

    I've been on MFP nearly a month, I also am not interested in making a ton of superficial connections. I have finally decided to focus on what I want and not to keep saying what I want...then coming up with excuses of why I'm not going for what I want!

    I can because I believe in me and you will succeed too because you will believe in YOU
  • KerryHalter
    KerryHalter Posts: 24 Member
    Hey there Tryyourbest! I am having a really similar experience!!! I've told my husband a couple of times recently "I'm done!! I don't care!!" Which isn't really true...I do care, especially when i get dressed in the morning or think about putting on a swimsuit! Well, at least I mean i want to care! One recent development.. I have finally ( i believe...) given up wine for good!!! Reading "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace helped. This weekend will be the true test though. I'm just tired of feeling dehydrated and tired after a full nights sleep, with haggy circles under my eyes and sinus problems from just one or two glasses.

    I know this reply will jump all over the place but hang in there and I think you'll see how it connects to what you're saying.

    I did the 90 Oxygen challenge that Amanda Latona and Erin Stern did last year. made a lot of great progress!! but still never succeeded in making the level of commitment I need to get where i really feel great!

    So I hired an online coach, spent a lot of money on her and am not getting my money's worth in the motivation department. In her defense, I don't think I've managed to stay on her program for a full 7 days without some kind of digression either in diet or missed workouts. I thought the money and the coach would help get me back in the groove but instead it just adds a whole different level of pressure!! I end up practically in tears because i know i won't see any change in my check in day cuz i just don't seem to be able to do what i say i want to do!

    So you said..."But do I do anything about it? Hellz no! Not sure why. I just am not getting the motivation to get out of this and instead just find myself wanting to "feel better" by eating food. I don't want to deny myself. It's like I'm rebelling. Have you/do you go through this? It torments my mind every day! I'm so sick of it."

    I could have written that paragraph word. for. word.!!! I've been tormented too!!!

    Last week I was ready to say "screw this whole fitness thin... I'm 48, i'm 5'4", I weight 143 lbs. I've given birth to 4 babies who are all pretty much grown up. I should just get over wanting to compete in a figure competition (bucket list thing) and give up on being lean and toned and settle for my homemade meatloaf with homemade mac and cheese and a nice fish bowl of red wine for dinner....omg doesn't that sound good!!! Isn't that what dinner is supposed to be!??? I'll just sleep later in the morning and drink more water!!

    I actually could just go on and on about the mental battleground that my mind has become over this. I'm ready to start again but my struggle now is that i need to clear my mind and probably most especially my subconscious of all the debris I've accumulated during this tug of war between feeling great and looking great and feeling slower and a little tired, looking pretty good "for my age" and slowly going down hill from here.

    but I've loved fitness my whole life. I really want to be functionally fit and healthy for a very long time AND I'm not ashamed to say...i want to look GREAT! not just good for my age but I want to LOOK LIKE someone who works out and eats right and really takes care of herself. I want my body to scream "dedication, discipline, and health!!"

    Let's be buds!! Let's compare notes and see where we're each at and talk about where we want to be and make realistic plans to get there and help each other overcome the obstacles.

    What do you think??? yes??!! If you do send me a friend request!

  • theamazingcassiebunny
    theamazingcassiebunny Posts: 119 Member
    I can completely relate! I just turned 37 and have been fit and extremely active for the past sis or seven years. This year, I hurt my foother in January. It took several weeks to heal. Now I have a sprained ankle, which means no running, kickboxing, basically any of the things I love. Combine that with the stress of my job and I just want to come home and sleep. I had to go from maintenance back into loss mode to try to ditch the extra few pounds I'be put on since January.

    For now I am trying to remember to be kind to myself. In the past I would berate myself for gaining weight and for getting hurt, but that obviously won't help. I have to give myself time to heal and maybe then the motivation will come back.

    I would be happy to be friends with any of you who would like an active MFP buddy who understands how hard it can be to stay motivated sometimes.
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