I feel fat!

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I have been on this journey for 5 months now, and I have lost 35 lbs so far.
I eat within limits, I workout daily, I get in 10k steps almost daily, and yet, for some reason,I don't feel good. In fact, I feel "fat". And, it's quite ironic that I didn't feel fat 35lbs ago, but now I do.
I can see how huge my clothes are. I know I have a long, long way to go. I have never been a healthy weight my entire life. I don't know what goal weight will look like, because I've never ever seen myself like that (I have 70 lbs more to go, at least).
Sometimes, I would like to eat like a normal person. Like my friends do. You know, people in college eat all kinds of *kitten*. Sometimes, I want to eat and not care how many calories I have eaten. But I do not have that luxury now, and I don't know whether I'll ever have that luxury.
This journey is so much more than I thought it would be, and sometimes I just feel lost.

Replies

  • 2snakeswoman
    2snakeswoman Posts: 655 Member
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    Are you keeping measurements? If not, that might help. I remember in the past when I lost quite a bit of weight, there was a period of time when I felt that I looked worse instead of better. I got over it, and I hope you will get over your distressing feelings, too.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    You have done really well so far. You're 1/3rd through your weight loss, it looks like. That's great progress. We all have down days or weeks so don't feel too bad. Try to focus on how far you've come rather than how far you have to go. That can be hard sometimes--I struggle with it myself once in awhile--but it is really important.

    As for the other college folks, keep in mind that many of them do have rules for what to eat and how much, even if they don't look like it. I was a healthy weight in college. If you would have seen me at Sunday brunch in the cafeteria you would have think I was a person who ate everything and never gained, because I would enjoy the heck out of the carving station, dessert, etc. But the truth was that I was pretty disciplined with what I ate the rest of the week--no desserts in the cafeteria, limited myself to one Coke and buttered popcorn only on Thursday nights while watching E.R., etc. That was just my way of balancing my diet overall. For some people it comes more naturally than others (it did for me then, it doesn't for me now) but we all have to find that balance for success in the long term.
  • mou_254
    mou_254 Posts: 153 Member
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    Are you keeping measurements? If not, that might help. I remember in the past when I lost quite a bit of weight, there was a period of time when I felt that I looked worse instead of better. I got over it, and I hope you will get over your distressing feelings, too.

    Yes, I am! I hope this goes away SOON :smile:
  • jrline
    jrline Posts: 2,353 Member
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    congrats on the success I sometimes still feel fat I think it just takes time adjusting to the new skinner you
  • mou_254
    mou_254 Posts: 153 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    You have done really well so far. You're 1/3rd through your weight loss, it looks like. That's great progress. We all have down days or weeks so don't feel too bad. Try to focus on how far you've come rather than how far you have to go. That can be hard sometimes--I struggle with it myself once in awhile--but it is really important.

    As for the other college folks, keep in mind that many of them do have rules for what to eat and how much, even if they don't look like it. I was a healthy weight in college. If you would have seen me at Sunday brunch in the cafeteria you would have think I was a person who ate everything and never gained, because I would enjoy the heck out of the carving station, dessert, etc. But the truth was that I was pretty disciplined with what I ate the rest of the week--no desserts in the cafeteria, limited myself to one Coke and buttered popcorn only on Thursday nights while watching E.R., etc. That was just my way of balancing my diet overall. For some people it comes more naturally than others (it did for me then, it doesn't for me now) but we all have to find that balance for success in the long term.

    Never thought about it that way! Yes, to each their own i guess! Thank you for giving me that perspective! :smile:
  • AlliHeathe
    AlliHeathe Posts: 128 Member
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    I feel that way too. I've lost over 60lbs now, and obviously I felt big at my highest weight. I had never let myself get that big before. However, i accepted the "body positive" movement and started to accept it and was confident. Now, I'm about 54lbs from my ultimate goal, and this weight now, had been the highest weight a previous time I lost. Sometimes I feel thin, but then sometimes I still feel really fat. It's definately a struggle...
  • mou_254
    mou_254 Posts: 153 Member
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    AlliHeathe wrote: »
    I feel that way too. I've lost over 60lbs now, and obviously I felt big at my highest weight. I had never let myself get that big before. However, i accepted the "body positive" movement and started to accept it and was confident. Now, I'm about 54lbs from my ultimate goal, and this weight now, had been the highest weight a previous time I lost. Sometimes I feel thin, but then sometimes I still feel really fat. It's definately a struggle...

    Body image takes a huge hit, either way! Congratulations on your loss and good luck for the rest! :smile:
  • mou_254
    mou_254 Posts: 153 Member
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    jrline wrote: »
    congrats on the success I sometimes still feel fat I think it just takes time adjusting to the new skinner you

    Thank you! For some reason, when I look into the mirror, I can't see any loss at all! It's really frustrating.
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
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    mou_254 wrote: »
    jrline wrote: »
    congrats on the success I sometimes still feel fat I think it just takes time adjusting to the new skinner you

    Thank you! For some reason, when I look into the mirror, I can't see any loss at all! It's really frustrating.

    Do you have any photos of you at your heaviest, and have you been taking more along the way? I've heard some people say that it's only when comparing photos side by side that they can see the change for themselves - some of us just can't see it in the mirror!

    I'm only 20lbs down so far, out of 60 or so, so I don't see much difference myself yet (although my husband does point out things that he feels have changed). But I take measurements and they're changing, and some of my clothes are getting too big. I can put on closer-fitting things now and actually feel a bit better about myself than if I wear something loose, which is a big deal for me as I'm used to trying to hide myself in baggy clothes! :)
  • mou_254
    mou_254 Posts: 153 Member
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    SueSueDio wrote: »
    mou_254 wrote: »
    jrline wrote: »
    congrats on the success I sometimes still feel fat I think it just takes time adjusting to the new skinner you

    Thank you! For some reason, when I look into the mirror, I can't see any loss at all! It's really frustrating.

    Do you have any photos of you at your heaviest, and have you been taking more along the way? I've heard some people say that it's only when comparing photos side by side that they can see the change for themselves - some of us just can't see it in the mirror!

    I'm only 20lbs down so far, out of 60 or so, so I don't see much difference myself yet (although my husband does point out things that he feels have changed). But I take measurements and they're changing, and some of my clothes are getting too big. I can put on closer-fitting things now and actually feel a bit better about myself than if I wear something loose, which is a big deal for me as I'm used to trying to hide myself in baggy clothes! :)

    I have went down a size, in fact; but my brain keeps telling me that the stores have changed their sizing!! :smiley:
  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,709 Member
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    You're making great progress! Since you said you've always been overweight it will take your mind a bit longer to catch up with your changing body. Just be patient with yourself, give your body and mind time to adapt to these changes and you'll see your progress soon.

    Clothing sizes vary vastly so don't get too caught up in the numbers. If you can, as you lose weight make sure you have new clothes that fit you well (or have some of your current items tailored). Seeing your new and still changing body in well-fitting clothes helps with the mental aspect, IMHO.

    And, as others have suggested, take pictures and keep your measurements. Good luck and keep going!
  • mou_254
    mou_254 Posts: 153 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    You're making great progress! Since you said you've always been overweight it will take your mind a bit longer to catch up with your changing body. Just be patient with yourself, give your body and mind time to adapt to these changes and you'll see your progress soon.

    Clothing sizes vary vastly so don't get too caught up in the numbers. If you can, as you lose weight make sure you have new clothes that fit you well (or have some of your current items tailored). Seeing your new and still changing body in well-fitting clothes helps with the mental aspect, IMHO.

    And, as others have suggested, take pictures and keep your measurements. Good luck and keep going!

    Thank you, I'll keep going since it's the only option! :smile: