Why the harshness for adding friends?

missvics
missvics Posts: 112
edited September 29 in Chit-Chat
I've seen a lot of women on here with not so nice things on their profiles about men trying to add them as friends. I realize that people, men and women both probably use this site as a dating meat market, but not everyone is that way. I am engaged and have a few male friends on here and welcome requests. I guess I'm just saying, maybe someone needs support and don't reject them immediately because of their sex....give them a chance first.
Thanks.
«13

Replies

  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
    I've not see or heard that problem at all.. Lots of M & F friends and no issues.
  • duncanryan
    duncanryan Posts: 122 Member
    Haha, only have had this happen once thus far. Seems silly, but no big deal.
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member
    Really?!?!? I hadn't noticed that! I add friends all the time, with no issues. I guess if you see negativity right away, you might want to avoid them. That would be my take anyhow...
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I don't add just anyone. I only add people who include something when they add me and I delete people often for posting every hour or any number of reasons. It's "MY" fitness pal and if me or anyone else has had problems with people then they should be able to warn off those types of people.
  • oldscratch
    oldscratch Posts: 146
    no probs thus far. i find it harder to get guys to add me. women do....and i have one of the creepiest pics on here :)
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    I've seen this one or 2 times, and it does bug me a bit, one of these same people even said she didn't want advice from a guy as they have different goals. Isn't a caloric deficit is a caloric deficit regardless of gender.
  • Angie80281
    Angie80281 Posts: 444 Member
    I've never seen any complaints about this, but I don't understand why they would have a problem with it. I've got a decent number of guy friends on here and I've never had any issues with them. If they hit on you, wither delete them or ignore them. It's not like they have your personal information or anything.
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    The only thing I have noticed is people requesting a message with a friend request, which is perfectly reasonable and something I prefer, too.

    I still accept friend requests without messages, but I definitely prefer a bit of first contact.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    I don't have a problem adding men if there intentions are correct :)
    I have a lot of men on my friends list who are GREAT supporters and who give me really good, sound advice. I love having them there to bounce ideas off of and to really motivate me as well.
    Have I had guys with the wrong intentions? Yes. I delete those people soon after I realize.
    I'm definitely not here to hear how "sexy" i am, or how "turned on" i make you etc ....
    however, I dont' write off all guys here. Some are seriously wonderful and I love having their support.
  • Kelly_Wilson1990
    Kelly_Wilson1990 Posts: 3,245 Member
    That is terrible. I support anyone who wants my help.
  • duncanryan
    duncanryan Posts: 122 Member
    I've seen this one or 2 times, and it does bug me a bit, one of these same people even said she didn't want advice from a guy as they have different goals. Isn't a caloric deficit is a caloric deficit regardless of gender.
    +1, I thought the same thing. Guess not. I don't really offer advice unless it's through the forums. I'm mostly here for to give/receive encouragement
  • missvics
    missvics Posts: 112
    Glad to hear there are so many of you out there without this issue. I decided to post this topic when I ran across a guy's profile that stated, I won't hit on you, I'm just looking for friends, or something to that affect and it seemed a little sad. Like he's had trouble getting women to accept his friend requests. All of my MFP friends have been awesome and I LOVE this site!!!
  • ItsTerriC
    ItsTerriC Posts: 436 Member
    I've seen it a few times. I chose to believe that they are being hit on by every man on MFP. Otherwise, why exclude an entire gender. Some people are just so hot that no mere mortal man can resist them. Lucky for me, I don't have that problem and can happily accept requests from anyone looking for support and to be supportive.

    Either that, or they have a very insecure and jealous partner who makes life so difficult that it's the only way they can enjoy MFP without accusations. Wouldn't that be incredibly sad?
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
    I'm sorry you have run into things like that. I think any help is great if they wanted just an all woman site etc they should have sought one out. We are all in this together and of course you might have one or two that might try to mess it up for everyone. There shouldn't be a difference as long as there is respect.
  • ohnuts14
    ohnuts14 Posts: 197
    This is the first I've heard about this. I think that's very immature if people are acting that way, we're not in elementary school where boys and girls can't be friends. That's really ridiculous. I've never been hit on or anything like that on here, I never get weird messages from guys. All of my friends, male or female, are here for the same reason and they're all committed and supportive. The people you're finding need to grow up lol.
  • cgd67
    cgd67 Posts: 188 Member
    I have had few men add me as a friend; but several women have... I am thankful for anyone that helps me stay motivated to change!
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    I have one friend whose profile states that she does not accept friend requests from men out of respect for her husband. Casual banter can lead to flirtation and so on. I think some people do it to protect themselves from temptation and from potential unnecessary jealousy from spouses/significant others. I find that I have very few male friends on here which is probably mostly because of the difference in goals and threads that I have personally commented on. That said...I am thankful I don't have a jealous husband!
  • missvics
    missvics Posts: 112
    I've seen it a few times. I chose to believe that they are being hit on by every man on MFP. Otherwise, why exclude an entire gender. Some people are just so hot that no mere mortal man can resist them. Lucky for me, I don't have that problem and can happily accept requests from anyone looking for support and to be supportive.

    Either that, or they have a very insecure and jealous partner who makes life so difficult that it's the only way they can enjoy MFP without accusations. Wouldn't that be incredibly sad?

    TOO FUNNY!! Thank you!!!
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    I have no issues! Add me if you want! I can use all the support I can! I am also willing to help anyone who needs the moral boost and support!
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    i add anyone that requests me. Innocent until proven guilty.
  • clarech
    clarech Posts: 157 Member
    I don't have guy friends on here (except my brother) as it would make my partner feel awquard so to save him being worried I don't want to make him feel that way. Nothing personal
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    Damn!! I make one little cleavage remark and I'm singled out for a time out.
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
    Damn!! I make one little cleavage remark and I'm singled out for a time out.

    LOL - Was that on my before picture?
  • corsayre8
    corsayre8 Posts: 551 Member
    I haven't noticed that trend. Having both male and female friends on here, I can say they both add different elements of support. The females tend to be more focused praise and advise. The men tend to lighten the mood and encourage. That of course is a generalization, and doesn't apply to everyone.

    There is another funny trend I have noticed. When I look through my news feed, the men have significantly higher response rates to their postings, and the majority of those responses aare from "girls". So it is by no means just the men who are using this site to flirt!
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
    I haven't noticed that trend. Having both male and female friends on here, I can say they both add different elements of support. The females tend to be more focused praise and advise. The men tend to lighten the mood and encourage. That of course is a generalization, and doesn't apply to everyone.

    There is another funny trend I have noticed. When I look through my news feed, the men have significantly higher response rates to their postings, and the majority of those responses aare from "girls". So it is by no means just the men who are using this site to flirt!

    I suspect there are just more women using the site.
  • kimmerroze
    kimmerroze Posts: 1,330 Member
    I dont' think my husband wouldbe jealous of me having guy friends, but then again I don't really have a lot of guy friends. I think to a point I just tend to attract people that can relate to me, and guys just don't relate to females as well as females relate to females.

    So I just let things fall where they fall and it turns out I have a significant amount of females over males...

    But I have seen other people's frustration with being hit on, luckily the guys on my friend list are respectful, and I in turn return that respect.

    A guy isn't as willing to flirt until that flirting is returned. that is when things tend to get out of hand. Maybe that is why I haven't had a problem. I don't flirt therefore, people dont' flirt with me. hmmm maybe... its all speculation tho.
  • Angie80281
    Angie80281 Posts: 444 Member
    Damn!! I make one little cleavage remark and I'm singled out for a time out.

    LOL - Was that on my before picture?

    See, I actually like having guy friends on here for just this reason. It's been my experience that the comments that make me laugh the most generally come from the guys.
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
    Damn!! I make one little cleavage remark and I'm singled out for a time out.

    LOL - Was that on my before picture?

    See, I actually like having guy friends on here for just this reason. It's been my experience that the comments that make me laugh the most generally come from the guys.


    I thought I might get dropped for flirting....
  • corsayre8
    corsayre8 Posts: 551 Member
    @ mikeyrp - No, I agree there are more women using the site. But if they weren't using it to flirt, then I would assume that they would also be posting as often on other women's profiles, not just on the men's profiles.

    @ Angie80281 - That is exactly what I meant by them lightening the mood. The women are much more serious about everything involoving weight. The men make me laugh as well.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    I have far more lady friends here then men but the guys I do have are cool and fun and just as supportive of the ladies as they are each other.
    Sure there is some flirting and teasing back and forth but doesn`t take away from what great true friends they all are.:smile:
This discussion has been closed.

Categories