Weight and Children

This may not be completely relevant but I remember when I was a little girl, I used to hear my mom say "oh I'm so fat!" All the time. I have a distinct memory of seeing her look in a mirror and saying that. Then when she left the room I remember looking at my little pot belly (looking back on pictures it was just one of those 3 year old bellies...I wasn't even chubby!) and thinking "Oh, I'm fat too!!" My first self deprecatory memory. So, now when my son asks me why he can't have this or that unhealthy food I say "its not healthy, its bad for our heart!" And when he asks me "Mommy why are you exercising?" I've never said "to lose weight" I always say "mommy's trying to make her heart healthy and her muscles strong!" (to which he always replies "Strong like Daddy's??" and I always say "YES!" lol) Maybe instead of teaching your daughter about calories, maybe teach her about healthy vs. not healthy, big portion vs. healthy portion. I don't know...calories seems to be an abstract concept for a little one.

My daughter is a young adult now but a few years ago she struggled with anorexia, we were able to get her into a therapist who specializes in that area. We learned that there are a lot of issues surrounding eating disorders, but my poor self image encouraged her internalized fear; so I agree with you that hearing our parents criticize themselves for their weight or talk about working out strictly for the sake of being skinny harms our kiddos way more than we think.

congratulations on your weight loss. That is an accomplishment!

Can you make sure your daughter doesn't eat anyone else's portions of snacks, only her own? That's wonderful that she is eating healthy foods at home with you and her sister.

It's hot here in the summer. I take my kids to the playground early here... can you take your daughters to a playground on your way to the sitter's in the morning? Ten to fifteen minutes is better than no time..... There are mornings when I run with my kids in the jogger- to the playground. They play for a bit (10-15 minutes) then I push them home. It's a win-win situation for us.

Hi Bella,

My daughters are 4yrs and 18 months but I am trying to teach them healthy eating from the beginning. (I am not a single mom, but my husband travels most days of the week and is often gone overnight so my life is much the same as a single mom's.)

Part of my strategy is to make them (mostly the 4 yr old at this point) part of the meal planning. We sit down on Saturday mornings and talk about what we want for dinner next week. We put together a menu and a shopping list so we know what we are going to buy when we are at the store. I have a chalk board hanging in the kitchen and I write out the menu and my daughter decorates it. It is one of her favorite things to do each week. And we do it every week even when I don't really have time. Trust me, it's easy not to do it and just go to the store and "wing it" but it's worth every minute we put into it and once we established the routine it's just what we do. There are no other options.

She gets to pick one veggie and one fruit (with no influence from me) while we are at the store and no matter what it is, we get it and eat it that week (because her favorite color is purple, we have a lot of purple cauliflower

Her "treat" for being a good shopper is to pick a yogurt cup of whatever flavor she wants and she gets to eat it as her afternoon snack that day. She LOVES picking out that yogurt.

Also, I do not let them drink anything but milk and water. Even when they are at daycare they are "not allowed" to drink juice and the teachers are careful to respect my choice. Proud moment: I was told the other week that a new teacher started and did not know my "no juice" rule and gave a cup of juice to my daugther who very politely explained that she did not drink juice and would like water instead, please.

This is not to say that we do not eat sugar and pizza and other such foods, but we do it in moderation... and I've found that they actually prefer the healthier options. Pround moment 2: in a bind, we stopped at Burger King for lunch and instead of chicken nuggets (which I begrudgingly told her she could have) she asked to have a salad. Seriously! and she ate every bite of it


We talk about what we eat and about being healthy. I excercise most days of the week and both my daughters see me. My older one sometimes wants to join me, which I let her do even though it makes it more difficult for me. We do 30 day shred together which usually means that she starts out doing it with me and then decides to be the "teacher" and watch me and tell me how I'm not doing it exactly how the girls on the video are doing it, but I think it's important for her to see me working hard and struggling through. It is hard but I do it. When she asks me why I tell her because it makes me healthy and strong.

I don't know if any of that helps... but those are some of the things that I do.

Hang in there!