Kinda need help please
anaam27
Posts: 25 Member
How do you stay motivated? I've lost a lot of weight in the past and I have to lose more but it seems like I can't get back in track...I ate good half of the day and at dinner time I am a mess. I look up for motivation fotos, videos etc but nothing seems to help me. I am so mad at myself because I've gained some weight due to bad eating and above this, I am still a binge eater and a person with 0 motivation.
Please help me with some advices / diets / meal plans or anything.
Also, feel free to add me as your friend
Please help me with some advices / diets / meal plans or anything.
Also, feel free to add me as your friend
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Replies
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The only way I've been able to succeed at this is to get my mind in the right place. For the first time in my life I am finally there. You have to decide how badly you want to do this and think long term for the rest of your life. MFP is a good place to start. Find some of the successful, knowledgeable people who have been on here for awhile and pay attention to what they tell people. The common line of thinking is there are no "diets" or quick fixes. Ignore the people who say "you aren't eating enough," the ones who want to recommend a cleanse of some sort, and those that say you should eat only a certain way to be successful. The truth is you just need to have a calorie deficit as per MFP's guidelines.8
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What you need to do is to stop the diet mentality, the being on or off track, and relying on motivation (which is really external motivation, and that comes and goes, and can't be bothered to be there when you need it), and instead get some intrinsic motivation and do things because you want to do it.
If you're a binge eater, you need to create a structure to your eating to stop the deprivation - binge cycle. Decide on a number of meals and plan them out in sufficient detail. Buy the foods and equipment you need, reserve time to cook and eat, and do your best to hit your calorie goal (within a 100 or so) every day. What you don't need, is another diet plan. Eat food you like, but portion it out in appropriate portions.
If you feel up to it, exercise, that's good for your overall health, including your mood, it may regulate appetite, and it burns some calories too.12 -
You have to stop being obsessed about the scale and have to stop thinking of it in terms of it being a fad. You need to make a commitment to it being a lifestyle change modifying the way that you're eating but not restricting yourself from certain foods occasionally because then they become a Temptation and then that will set you off your course.
Start with making better choices instead of eating a soup and a sandwich have soup and a salad instead of having a cookie or something fattening as a snack or chips have some fruit. Once you start to learn to eat a little bit better everything else will fall into place also park your car further away and make yourself walk more take the steps instead of the elevator little changes like that will get you started and it won't seem so ominous like you're on some kind of diet and exercise program that you can't keep up with. Let me know if I can help4 -
For me, the emotional and mental struggle is real! I've had people tell me "just eat better" or "just exercise" and I'm like, "thanks, I never would have thought of that." In my experience, I'm ready to change when I'm ready. There are practical things I can do, like stocking my pantry with healthy foods instead of junky ones, setting aside time to prepare food for the week, and leaving for work early so I can walk instead of take the bus, but sometimes I just have to trudge through not feeling it. Like imobilvion mentioned, I start with small change. I add in more leafy greens and cut down on sugar. I take short walks and then start adding in longer ones. My goal is not to become a fitness trainer. I just want to be a healthier, happier person. I don't have to do this overnight. And I believe that long-term change comes from taking small steps one day at a time. I've had luck with setting small goals with small rewards as well (every five pounds), with a big reward when I met my goal weight.
Also, I know meditation isn't for everyone, but having a little "quiet time" helps me a lot, even if it's only for ten minutes in the morning.4 -
I'd say pick a meal timing plan. Intermittent Fasting for example. 5 days of not worrying. 2 days of no food (Or under 500 calories). Or the 8 hours of being allowed to eat, 16 hours of no food.
For me, I have personally found the 2-5 day plan to be a godsend. On the low food days, I have my coffee and a small breakfast. Once I am hungry around lunch time, I have more coffee. In time, hunger goes away and am fine all day. On normal days, I don't worry too much, but stay conscious of food choice.
I have found that reducing calories across the board all week long made me feel restricted all the time. And hungry more often than not.1 -
Motivational piece of clothing?0
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I hope you find the way to slim down that suits you personally. Even though what works can always be summarised as "Calories in should be less than calories out", there's a number of ways to achieve that. What works well for one person may not be right for another.
For example, an acquaintance of mine swears by 5+2 intermittent fasting. She feels great, and has lost about 30kg on it. I personally wouldn't last through a single fasting day, and wouldn't be able to function at work at all. I don't even understand how anyone can diet on 1,200 calories per day, which people on this board often have as their set goal. What works for me is just eating at a slight deficit for a very long time (12 kg lost over 7 months).
When I say I wouldn't last through a single low calorie day, (of say under 1,300), I mean that I'd likely be starving by the evening and end up giving up on my daily goal and eating too much. So let's say I'd probably end up eating 2,000 calories and wouldn't lose any weight.
So instead what I do is just acknowledge that I have to eat at least 1,500-1,600 calories a day, which still allows me to lose a bit of weight, and it also means my hunger is manageable and I don't end up overeating. So that's what works for me. 1,600 that really is 1,600 is better than 1,200 that ends up being 2,000.
What works for my husband is skipping breakfast. What works for another acquaintance is doing lots of running at walking, so that she is still losing weight on 1,800-2,100 calories a day. So find out what works for you!1 -
As people have said, this is successful if this becomes a lifestyle change, not a temporary one. In life, everything we do is not because we are motivated to do it, but because that behavior has become a habit. Use the motivation early on to build good habits...do some kind of activity every day, weigh every meal, etc. Hopefully, those will become habits and require less motivation.6
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katie22mfp wrote: »Motivational piece of clothing?
Nope, that didn't work0 -
Thank you everyone for your replies..
I do believe that fasting 5+2 would not work for me because probably I would eat a lot in those 5 days
)
So maybe as you said, I have to find my own way I am just scared that it will take me too long and I will continue to gain weight in the meantime
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katie22mfp wrote: »Motivational piece of clothing?
Nope, that didn't work
Yea, that was funny. I had a whole closet full of motivational clothing for 5 years. And now finally after 4 months of deep inside me desire to do this, it's all too big.1 -
Try an app called Fabulous. It has a rainbow logo. It helped me to create new habits for eating and sleeping. Step by step it guides you along so that you make better choices. I use it daily so that my healthy habits stick. Good luck!2
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It seems like you are having a lot of your hard times at night. One thing that may work for you is pre-logging your evening food. There are times I do that when I am finding myself tired a lot and not always at my strongest to resist food urges. Just knowing what I am going to eat can help change my mindset. It also lets me know what I can eat during the day to allow me to eat enough at night.2
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makingmark wrote: »It seems like you are having a lot of your hard times at night. One thing that may work for you is pre-logging your evening food. There are times I do that when I am finding myself tired a lot and not always at my strongest to resist food urges. Just knowing what I am going to eat can help change my mindset. It also lets me know what I can eat during the day to allow me to eat enough at night.
That is a good trick, thank you At dinner time my mom comes home hungry from work and at that time she puts everything on the table and I kinda eat from everything. Also she and my boyfriend likes sweets too much and eat them sooo..I can't always resit 0 -
katie22mfp wrote: »Motivational piece of clothing?
Nope, that didn't work
Yea, that was funny. I had a whole closet full of motivational clothing for 5 years. And now finally after 4 months of deep inside me desire to do this, it's all too big.
I have almost a closet full myself) I also bought a nice black dress which I love but no motivation haha
Anyway, congrats for your achivement2 -
oneespanola wrote: »Try an app called Fabulous. It has a rainbow logo. It helped me to create new habits for eating and sleeping. Step by step it guides you along so that you make better choices. I use it daily so that my healthy habits stick. Good luck!
Thank you for the tip. I didn't find that app but found something similar, maybe this will help me.
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I agree with most of the posts. The first thing is to stop calling this a diet. diets suck and you fail most of time. you have to think of this is a lifestyle change.
The other thing is you have to find something that'll personally motivates you. A lot of people here will understand what I'm going to say. Whatever it is it has to be totally selfish. You can't do it for the kids for the significant other for anybody but yourself. Once you find that this becomes a piece of cake. Never in my wildest dreams I thought I could lose the amount of weight I did and it's so simple once you're in the right mind frame.2 -
lifestyle change is the key -I previously always looked on ' dieting ' as some kind of temporary fix which would somehow get me to an undefined goal . But I was doing that in spite of my lifestyle which hadn't really changed much hence unsurprisingly the result was failure . Motivation for me was akin to desperation approaching age 60 morbidly obese - even considered bariatric surgery but didn't do it more by circumstance than anything else . Then I had a serious review of the whole situation nd embarked upon a lifestyle change involving good nutrition , initially light exercise and acupuncture to boost metabolism . I aimed for a deficit of 1000 calories per day out put 2500 intake 1500 - didn't always achieve it but was mostly n the zone . This comes out around 7000 calories or 2.2 lbs loss per week roughly half a stone per month . I'm now 22 months in and have lost 158 lbs and counting ultimate target is to drop a further 42 lbs which should hopefully be another 6 month away but overall year end . Now jogging 35 miles per week to keep output right and eating food I like but with all weighed and counted and a 200 cal buffer for minor indiscretions . Fitter now than anytime since my mid thirties !!!! I was in a bad way before I started - if I can do it anyone can believe me ! Wish you the very best of luck and achievement .8
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shadowmanlocal wrote: »lifestyle change is the key -I previously always looked on ' dieting ' as some kind of temporary fix which would somehow get me to an undefined goal . But I was doing that in spite of my lifestyle which hadn't really changed much hence unsurprisingly the result was failure . Motivation for me was akin to desperation approaching age 60 morbidly obese - even considered bariatric surgery but didn't do it more by circumstance than anything else . Then I had a serious review of the whole situation nd embarked upon a lifestyle change involving good nutrition , initially light exercise and acupuncture to boost metabolism . I aimed for a deficit of 1000 calories per day out put 2500 intake 1500 - didn't always achieve it but was mostly n the zone . This comes out around 7000 calories or 2.2 lbs loss per week roughly half a stone per month . I'm now 22 months in and have lost 158 lbs and counting ultimate target is to drop a further 42 lbs which should hopefully be another 6 month away but overall year end . Now jogging 35 miles per week to keep output right and eating food I like but with all weighed and counted and a 200 cal buffer for minor indiscretions . Fitter now than anytime since my mid thirties !!!! I was in a bad way before I started - if I can do it anyone can believe me ! Wish you the very best of luck and achievement .
Thank you so much!! It is very impressive! I do believe that one of my problems is that I am always influenced by the number of the scale and I know that is a very bad thing..0 -
STEVE142142 wrote: »I agree with most of the posts. The first thing is to stop calling this a diet. diets suck and you fail most of time. you have to think of this is a lifestyle change.
The other thing is you have to find something that'll personally motivates you. A lot of people here will understand what I'm going to say. Whatever it is it has to be totally selfish. You can't do it for the kids for the significant other for anybody but yourself. Once you find that this becomes a piece of cake. Never in my wildest dreams I thought I could lose the amount of weight I did and it's so simple once you're in the right mind frame.
I know that if I would loose weight it would be for myself but believe it or not, even though I know that a higher weight will bring back a lot of problems, I continue to eat bad things and feel bad after...I am a mess somehow:))
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"Thank you so much!! It is very impressive! I do believe that one of my problems is that I am always influenced by the number of the scale and I know that is a very bad thing.."
Let the scale be your friend. Use it to track your weight over time and don't stress about the day to day fluctuations. If it's too stressful to weigh on a regular basis, don't do it. I figure my scales (both my body scale and food scale) are just tools in my "lifestyle change" tool box, just like a tape measure or your exercise gear and for that matter MFP. Use it all to your advantage.1 -
That is a good trick, thank you At dinner time my mom comes home hungry from work and at that time she puts everything on the table and I kinda eat from everything. Also she and my boyfriend likes sweets too much and eat them sooo..I can't always resit
Wait. So, your mom comes home hungry and tired after work, and makes you dinner and you overeat?
Why aren't you cooking healthy well-portioned meals and having a healthy dinner on the table when she gets home? That way, you don't have to worry about eating whatever she puts on the table?
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shadowmanlocal wrote: »lifestyle change is the key -I previously always looked on ' dieting ' as some kind of temporary fix which would somehow get me to an undefined goal . But I was doing that in spite of my lifestyle which hadn't really changed much hence unsurprisingly the result was failure . Motivation for me was akin to desperation approaching age 60 morbidly obese - even considered bariatric surgery but didn't do it more by circumstance than anything else . Then I had a serious review of the whole situation nd embarked upon a lifestyle change involving good nutrition , initially light exercise and acupuncture to boost metabolism . I aimed for a deficit of 1000 calories per day out put 2500 intake 1500 - didn't always achieve it but was mostly n the zone . This comes out around 7000 calories or 2.2 lbs loss per week roughly half a stone per month . I'm now 22 months in and have lost 158 lbs and counting ultimate target is to drop a further 42 lbs which should hopefully be another 6 month away but overall year end . Now jogging 35 miles per week to keep output right and eating food I like but with all weighed and counted and a 200 cal buffer for minor indiscretions . Fitter now than anytime since my mid thirties !!!! I was in a bad way before I started - if I can do it anyone can believe me ! Wish you the very best of luck and achievement .
This is extremely motivational. Thank you for sharing your journey. I like your attitude and your dedication
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Thank you everyone for your replies..
I do believe that fasting 5+2 would not work for me because probably I would eat a lot in those 5 days)
So maybe as you said, I have to find my own way I am just scared that it will take me too long and I will continue to gain weight in the meantime
What if it does take too long? How long would that be? What would happen? Why not start logging and maintaining NOW so you don't gain more. Then start gradually decreasing Cals by 100 per day to find a level you're comfortable with. Any progress is better than none. As said above, you have to decide if you really want this and why. Once you decide that, there's no stopping.3 -
ElizabethOakes2 wrote: »That is a good trick, thank you At dinner time my mom comes home hungry from work and at that time she puts everything on the table and I kinda eat from everything. Also she and my boyfriend likes sweets too much and eat them sooo..I can't always resit
Wait. So, your mom comes home hungry and tired after work, and makes you dinner and you overeat?
Why aren't you cooking healthy well-portioned meals and having a healthy dinner on the table when she gets home? That way, you don't have to worry about eating whatever she puts on the table?
No no, most of the times I cook for both of us and put the healthy food on the table, but after or when she is eating what I made, she reach out for more food, usually bad food.
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Krisstastic_ wrote: »when i want motivation.. i look at these photos...
then look at where i am now.
Oh this is amazing!! I have some before and after photos too but believe me or not, I look at them, hate how I used to look but still gave up
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When my motivation wanes, I make a deal with myself to log, with no pressure to eat at a deficit. Just record whatever I eat. Like magic, I eat healthier food and within a few days feel ready to eat less. Just log, no pressure.4
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Forget about motivation. Motivation is a fleeting, unreliable thing to count on to get you through anything.
DETERMINATION is what your focus should be. Give yourself concrete goals and commit to them.
If you want to eat better, think of something you plan to COMMIT to changing, and do so. Don't just say something like "I wanna eat healthier!" That's vague and unhelpful. Try small changes, one at a time, that you can stick with. Maybe, "I want to drink only one soda a day," then "I want to drink NO soda."
I hope I don't sound mean or rude by insisting on concrete goals - I speak from experience. I always told myself "I'll eat better!" and never did. Having a numerical standard - 1200 cals/day - gave me a concrete goal to work towards. The same with exercise - "oh, I'm gonna go to the gym and exercise!" lead to me never actually doing so. Telling myself, "THESE are the days I'll go on," (and having a trainer at work who can, and will, find me at my desk if I get lazy and skip) and setting a running goal of "I'm going to run 5k" gave me a concrete goal. I'm two weeks away (according to the app) from actually running 5k
Binging is less about food and more about control. The same principle applies - rely on determination, not motivation. I guarantee saying "I'll control myself better next time" will not be helpful to you. Determination will help. Remove trigger foods from your house, if you have any. Log your binges. Finding hobbies and activities that will distract you from or even remove the temptation to binge. And drink that water!4
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