Ladies: How did you get to love your body?

It's a process I haven't managed to figure out at this point. It's a constant struggle to find myself worth the effort to count calories and exercise to become more fit. But I just kind of keep doing it regardless of how I feel about myself.

Wish I had better advice!

2011rocket3touring wrote: »

While not a lady; hopefully it's ok to throw my 2¢.
It took a long time to come to terms that I won't ever be able to have the superhero physique I longed for. While this is going to sound horrible but I looked at other guys my age and realized that I don't look bad, I'm strong, have all my hair and can hold down a job, and slowly came to be content with that.

Thanks for that. We ladies often forget that men face these battles as well.

I look at myself in the mirror every day and consciously make note of something that I like. Somewhere I'm improving, somewhere I'm already happy, strike a pose!

I've realized that I have to come to terms with my stretch marks. They are here to stay...I can either learn to love them or hate them forever and just be miserable. I have now learned to look at them in a different light, instead of seeing them as these ugly things...they are reminders of the fight and battle that I won. Wearing a bikini this year and people may seem them and ask or look, I can look at them and say "ya I lost 50 pounds and I earned these bad boys".
That's how I learned to love my body.

I started thinking about all the things my body does for me and all the ways it's good. I can run several miles, and because of that, I've done 5Ks in cool places with great people. I can walk all day, which is awesome when I'm traveling and exploring somewhere on foot. I hiked up a volcano and roasted marshmallows over lava because my body was strong enough. I can see muscles developing as I increase how much weight I can lift. I have the dexterity to chop veggies for a delicious meal. I'm flexible enough and have enough stamina for great sex. I'm warm and soft, which makes my husband happy to snuggle up to me. I'm not a mom, but if I was, I'd be glad to be able to carry and play with my kids.

There's a lot of things my body can't do for me yet. I can't carry 100+ lb objects around at work by myself like most of the men I work with do. I can't run a half marathon. I can't climb Everest. But the key word there is yet - I can keep improving my body so it will eventually do those things. So I'll love it for what it can do for me now, and I'll show it love by making it better.

It's interesting to consider what people mean by "self-image" issue. It often confuses me.

Really, when no one looks at me, I am perfectly fine with the way I look, and very comfortable in my own skin. For me, the "self-imagine issue" arises from my LOOK, which means, how people SEE me.

I don't really understand how someone who is in fact, attractive to others, who is beautiful in the eyes of others, can have a "body image issue". ( Don't get me wrong: I don't deny the issue - I know many suffer from it! I am saying that I do not understand it.)

Is it that important to like what we see when we look in the mirror? When I look at myself, I am mortified because it reminds me of what other people see. But me, personally? I don't really care. Being ugly does not hurt when there is no actual consequence. If I were on a desert island, all alone, I would not give a fig about my physical flaws.

Anyway - sorry for the rambling - going back to OP Shineyapple:

(BTW based on your picture, you are a beautiful young women).

I think it would help if you asked yourself what would make YOU happy, as regards your image, the way you see yourself, the way others see you, and the place and importance it holds in YOUR life.

If, for example, it is reasonably easy for you to find a mate, both for love and sex; if you can pretty much dress how you want; and your occupation does not require being attractive (like a model, actress, etc.) well then, why the HECK would you be miserable for not being the hottest girl/guy in town ?

We are constantly bombarded with two alternate messages:
A. "Be Beautiful, No Matter What It Takes", and/or:
B. "Love Yourself No Matter What".

If you think the second message is obviously better than the first, think again. It can create a dangerous set of mind, especially when "Love Every Bit of Yourself" it is presented as sine qua non condition to happiness. There's no "On/Off love switch" on a human being, last time I checked. So while it's nice to be able to smile at yourself when you pass a mirror, it should not be a condition to happiness, unless your look actually causes a problem or difficulty in your life.

On these (not so) wise words, I am going to have lunch. With my cats, who think I am the most beautiful catlady EVER.

Also, I started reading some books on self compassion. My favorites are: "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" By Kristin Neff, "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, 3rd Edition: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships" By Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD and "Taming Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way" by Rick Carson, as well as self help books that all have bits and pieces of this. Many people deal with this.

I've had very low self esteem since I was a child. I'm not going to say that I don't have low self esteem, but I am learning to love myself. I look at myself in the mirror and instead of picking at myself, I see what I like.

I completely agree with positive attitude! I think you have to be honest with yourself and take responsibility for everything in your life ,that said give YOUR SELF a break if you messed up fix it! Start again it's not a race learn from mistakes what works and what doesn't .Face it we all make mistakes it's how we handle them that defines who we are or will become.There are going to be things that happen out of our control but if you have a ,I can do this! Attitude nothing can stop you!

It's a thought process:

-do the best for you
-don't compare yourself to others (compare yourself with your own progress )
-own your flaws and virtues
-realize how much your body does for you and how much more it can if you treat it right
-be kind to yourself
-love yourself (it's you against the world)

Personally, either I'm in the state of "shoot, girl you look good today", or "ew, bet the guy who hit on me didn't see this fat roll". Everyone goes through lows where the don't particularly love every aspect about themselves. But you gotta get out of that mindset and realize that you totally have some pretty rockin features going on. Working out has also been a big contributor for myself. I realized that I may not have the best physique, but I sure as hell am stronger than the cardio bunny next to me on the treadmill. I take pride in that.

STOP the negative self-talk. We all do it, but it is absolutely the worst. I also believe in daily affirmations, meditation and look at non-scale victories.

I gained weight during law school, trying to lose it now, but even before I was chubby, I've always had a curvy body. We are not meant to be super models. I have always told myself that I am a Greek Goddess nearly every day or when I am feeling blah. Just because society is telling us we need to be rail thin, does not mean that natural instinct has caught up to society. Look at all of the fertility symbols....these women had hips and curves to be able to survive child birth. I tell myself that natural instinct in finding a mate has not changed, and I am the body type that men are hard wired to seek out....whether or not its true, it works for me, lol.