What should i stick to?

Around here we call it CICO. That stands for Calories In Calories Out. Calories are the key to your weight changing over time. If you intake more calories than you need, you gain weight. If you intake fewer calories than you need, you lose weight. After you understand that basic fact, you graduate from the beginner class and then move on to learn about macros. They're all good. With that out of the way, you're on to the advanced fitness level, also known as weightlifting. There's a group around here for that. Purchase a digital food scale. Use it. It's easier that way. Much easier.

By the way, BMR is "Basal Metabolic Rate", which is the amount of calories you need to exist in a coma. You need to pay attention to your TDEE, Total Daily Energy Expenditure. Another web site has a very accurate and useful calculator for that. http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

What's worked for me has been to eat the foods I like in moderation with about 80% of my calories from nutrient-dense foods and 20% for treats. That way, I don't feel deprived. You don't need a specific plan to lose weight; you need to eat fewer calories than your body uses.

This flowchart has some good advice:

I was at your current weight (5'-6") when my doc said I was perilously close to diabetes and should cut out all white carbs. Everybody's body and mind are different from everyone else's, but that really helped me. It meant cutting out my constant snacking on candy, chips and cake, but for some reason it didn't *feel* like a diet. I also paid attention to portion size (a half-cup of rice instead of a big pile; a cup or so of stew instead of a whole big bowl) and the food pyramid. But I wasn't constantly thinking of what my next meal would be, and of what to cook for a specific calorie level.

I lost about 50 pounds over about 18 months, then plateaued. I came here to lose the last 20, which I did by weighing, measuring and logging. I've been maintaining since early November.

Finally, at age 64, I feel as if I've got this weight thing under control. You can do it, too. And you don't have to wait until you're my age.

The white carb thing doesn't feel restrictive, because you can still eat bread and pasta and such, just the whole-grain versions. Try that along with weighing and measuring and logging here, and you can probably do better than I did.

I'm sorry you have a *kitten* for a husband. I hope you aren't wanting to lose weight for him, that's bound to bring on a lot of emotions as time goes by and the weight won't stay off permanently. I hope you are doing this for you, for your health and well being. Your husband though....wow....

Kids are a great motivator. Since I started eatong better, my kids have been trying the new foods I'm bringing into the house. My daughter asked to have one of my grape tomatoes tonight at dinner. She spat it right back out, but she tried it. And they are a fun way to get exercise. Take a walk to the park or play tag.

The key is to make sustainable changes. Little things you can see yourself doing for the next year or so. More walks, smaller portions. Diets and quick drops in weight are short lived. Once you give up the diet, the weight comes right back. But when you find healthy food you like and can feel satiated, you're more likely to keep the changes.

Love yourself. Praise yourself for making positive changes. And remember, you're worth it!

I'm fairly new, definitely log, definitely don't eat back all the exercise. I got a cardio monitor, it seems to give better exercise calorie counts. I also find that lots of root veggies (swede, celeriac, kohlrabi) to replace rice, pasta, potatoes works well. Do your counting early or through the day and add an after dinner walk or jog if you're over!