So fed up, feel like crying

You need to chill :flowerforyou: . Up the water on the days after your night out and just get back to eating healthily. The weight is only temporary and you'll drop it soon enough. Don't be scared to go out, have fun, chosse places where you can dance the night away, laugh loads and enjoy every minute x

My dear, that is not the way to go, i promise you that. Althought it is a quick fix in the long run you are hurting yourself even more than you may know.

Going out is not the problem it is what you consume and do when you go out. Night out with the girls is a great thing to do but really you cannot continue to simply look at the scale. Drinking and whatever you mave have actually eatten can contribute to water weight gain, nothing to drastic and it will go away.

Don't worry so much my dear stay strong and healthy and it will all come to you. I have lost a total of 25 lbs prior to joining, stopped so that is why I decided to join and kicked it in to gear and already have lost another 6 lbs but again I am stuck so it's time to re vamp my plan of action and kick it in to high gear.

Might be time for you to throw your body a curve ball.

Also not a good idea, it may work now but damage is going to be done. Your body needs fuel to run! Do not make the mistake that so many people do.

Did anyone actually look at her? If that's you in the profile picture, I would consider you to be slender.
-wtk

I hear ya OP and I have to confess to falling of the wagon big time recently.

I had a week off work and it was my Birthday so I had several meals out, a picnic, a BBQ, plus lots of wine, cake etc.. and I have kind of lost my way a little bit.

When I am taking my weightloss seriously I try to live by the 80/20 rule and I keep healthy 80% of the time. So I can still have a few vodka's on a Saturday and a meal out... But for the majority of the time I stick to my plan.

I am a bit older now and I'm not single - most of my friends are the same so our social lives aren't as hectic as they used to be LOL! It is hard though and you need to find a balance. You need to find a way to have a social life but also lose weight effectively. Also to make it a long term loss you really need to find a sustainable way - you don't want to feel like you are missing out on something?

I always work out more when I know I am having a few drinks? Plus I really try to eat well the day before and the day after. I don't starve myself but I try to eat as naturally as possible (lots of veg, salad, lean meats)

I now try to prevent 'one night' off the plan becomming a few days off the plan.

I've managed to lose weight and maintain a semi decent social life on the premise that I know I cannot cope with being super healthy 100% of the time - so I give myself an evening off her and there.

How do slim people manage to maintain a social life and stay slim??? I feel like since I have been on this I have turned into a hermit, terrified of seeing my friends incase I am influenced to drink/eat and thus put weight on.

Last week I had had enough. I organised a girls night in on the Friday and a night out on the Saturday. Time to start living like a normal person I thought. In the build up to the weekend I exercised every day and stuck to the daily amount as best I could (sometimes I go over by about 50 calories).

Then on the Friday I enjoyed a takeaway with the girls and some dessert and on the Saturday I ate healthily but had a bit to drink. I picked at a few chips when I got back but didn't really eat many of them.

As soon as I got back I was back on the diet wagon and I was fully expecting my weight to stay the same but no, I've put on a pound. I know it's not a lot, but that is the entire previous week's hard work out the window and I honestly feel like crying. Not because of the weight, but because I feel like I can't be my normal sociable self and let go once in a while without undoing loads of hard work and feeling crappy.

I just needed to share this. I am on the verge of quitting and going back to starving myself/purging or whatever else actually works.

Please don't get down & don't give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know exactly where you're coming from & the most likely thing is that the weight gain was just water weight, which usually disappears in no time. Keep on wagon and i'm sure you would've lost the 1lb & then some! When I go out I tend to eat lots of grilled stuff, salads etc... I also have in the past driven myself insane by obsessively worrying about my diet.. But now I have a little blow out once a month as a reward. If you could see what my diary was like over my birthday you'd be in shock!

How do slim people manage to maintain a social life and stay slim???

No matter how you slice it, dieting sucks. It involves to depriving yourself to some degree. Causing adaptations in your body takes time and concerted effort in your training.

However, what people tend to forget is that once you have triggered those adaptations or slimmed down to a certain point that maintaining it is generally a lot easier (unless you are trying to maintain seriously low levels of bodyfat all year which can be really difficult.) You also get to eat more which means you can easily incorporate social situations into your life. For example, if I need to diet down I may train 3-5 times a week being a mix of weights and cardio. When I maintain all I make sure I do is two heavy weights sessions a week, everything else is a bonus. When I diet down I restrict alcohol to once every few weeks. When I maintain I drink when I want. Short term sacrifice for long term gain.

Sure you can minimise the deprivation you feel when dieting by adopting the lifestyle approach involving everything in moderation. However, at some point you have to accept that you either suck it up or stay fat. It depends what is more important to you.

I've put on a pound.

A pound of what though? What you need to be concerned about is putting on a pound of FAT. That is not reflected in the scale and I sincerely doubt that's happened given the history of eating you have outlined. It could be anything really. Water, undigested food in the digestive tract, waste matter which hasn't passed.

Listen, the scale is very good for some people: specifically obese people who need to keep a clear track of where their weight is going. For anyone approaching any kind of leaness (as you are as you have little left to lose and are about 14lbs away from your goal) it is beyond useless in isolation. Why? Because it doesn't tell you the full story on what your body composition is at this point.

Just keep going. You will be fine. I would recommend ditching the scale and falling in love with something much more useful and attractive. Like me Or seriously, things like fitness goals or body recomp goals.

Even if it was a lb of fat you put on (unlikely), you can work that off again in a week.

If one weekend of fun gained you 3,500 cals then 500cal daily deficit melts it away in a week.

You could have one or two weekends like that every month and be in full control of it.

Thanks everyone for your support. I've just added a picture of me now (from my weekend!) so people don't get confused. I don't consider myself to be over weight but I would like to be happy with myself and be as slim as I was before University. There is a stone and a half difference between the pictures so that is what I am trying to achieve.

You still look fantastic. I wouldn't have been able to pin which picture was "before" and which one was "after."
-wtk

Thanks everyone for your support. I've just added a picture of me now (from my weekend!) so people don't get confused. I don't consider myself to be over weight but I would like to be happy with myself and be as slim as I was before University. There is a stone and a half difference between the pictures so that is what I am trying to achieve.

You still look fantastic. I wouldn't have been able to pin which picture was "before" and which one was "after."
-wtk

AGREED!!

and dont stress...you'll notice that pound gone in a day or two. NO WAY is it fat... like the others said-just chug the water! good luck!

You have to plan it. Figure out how to incorporate your daily life into your new eating habits. If I am going out, and I know I want a drink, I plan for it. If we are going somewhere to eat, I plan how to manage that. The way I am eating now is how I plan to eat for life, I have a very active social life and eat out a lot. At least 1-2 times a week. If I don't plan how to handle it I will be miserable.

.....so....

do you want to be hermit buddies?

Honestly though (although the above was a bit honest) I think everyone has some great advice. I think it mainly comes down to things such as eating smaller portions, exercising more, eating healthy in general, and/or genetics.

Also, we tend to have harsher views of ourselves than of others. I think you are beautiful for one.

Hi, I'm fairly new on MFP and I know this thread is really about how you feel about yourself but I had a look at your photos and wanted to give a male perspective... You are really hot!

My only advice would be to go out as much as you can but don't drink too much, eat first and dance a lot to burn off a few bonus calories.
Quite often when my best friend goes on about his exercise and diet (he recently lost 8 stone!) I just want to tell him to shut up but I think a lot of that comes from a sense of guilt and jealousy. Your friends may well have that too, so despite wanting to be supportive they get a bit of misdirected emotion that manifests as anger.

Hmm, excuse the psychological BS there, but you get my point