How do you work these blasted things...?

Go to youtube.com and search 'gym equipment' or something similar and you should get some ideas

It's tough to explain as all machines have different names.. I know in our gym for abs we have two machines called the abdominal crunch and the total abdominal. The first one you sit on a seat, put some sort of gear over your shoulders (like in an an amusement part roller coaster) and then move down as in a crunch. The total abdominal is almost the same, but also trains your legs by moving your legs up.

But all in all the machines are often pretty self explantory, or ask a fellow sporter As a general rule, remember that with all strength training during your repetitions you should never let the tension go away, never overstretch anything and never let the weights come all the way back down until you're done.

Hope it helps at least a bit..

But truthfully, for lower abs.. there are some great exercises that don't involve machines at all. One is laying down on your back, bending your knees to a ninety degree angle, so thighs vertical and calves horizontal, then lift your hips up a little bit and back down, over and over.. another one has you lift your legs in the same way, but then kick them out straight one by one as if you're cycling. Work really well for lower abs!

if there isn't a staff member to help you, what about talking to some of the "regulars"?

I agree with the trainer suggestion. If you don't use them properly you may injure yourself, which is not what you want I'm sure.
The trainer can also give you routines to do with the machines, tell you how much weight you should start out with, etc. Most gyms should have a free session option.

jen!! you are talking to the right person on this. you want to work on abs and arms here are a few machines to use (if they have them):

lat pull machine, bench press, curls, see if you can get a medicine ball.....this can be used to work arms and can be used to as resistance for legs if you do squats while doing arms...great exercise.

for abs...see if they have a thing where you rest your arms and back on pads, but then bring your legs to your chest...works lower and side abs.....hard to explain...message me and i will explain it better.