Do you tell the the truth?

Kittenisspooky
Kittenisspooky Posts: 58 Member
edited December 1 in Health and Weight Loss
When you have friends on here who way way underestimates their daily calories eaten and way way over estimates their workouts do you tell them or just congratulate them on being " under" their goal?

I do not mean this in a catty way but if you genuinely care for the person. Do you think they are just enjoying being delusional or do you think you should say something?

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Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • mkakids
    mkakids Posts: 1,913 Member
    If they ask the 'why aren't I losing' question, I say something (gently).

    If they dont ask, I keep silent.
  • sashayoung72
    sashayoung72 Posts: 441 Member
    If it's a person I actually know I might try to help them out, but if it's a person i only met on here I probably don't comment unless they ask for help.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    Unsolicited advice? Nope don't do that.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,213 Member
    Not only do I not comment on others' poor estimations, I've wondered if some of mine have been way off, but not bothered investigating/correcting until months later. My calorie count for bread for instance should have been at least 70 calories higher, each and every day for more than six months. But because I was losing just fine, it didn't matter one bit. May not matter to them either.
  • viren19890
    viren19890 Posts: 778 Member
    Aren't you on friend list to "Support" them ? observing silence is "supporting" ?

    I've always inboxed them -suggesting what's good based on how much I know. So far I've had three people massively under-eating-it's just painful to watch 20 likes on massive under-eating sprees.

    and so far I've been deleted by 2 people. YAY!

    This is the reason why I try to maintain a small friends list-so I can actually check on them. If a "friend" on my list doesn't even reply back to comment or is getting 30-40 likes - I delete em because well clearly they have enough "support" and I rather save my energy and effort.
  • viren19890
    viren19890 Posts: 778 Member
    goldthistime wrote: »
    Not only do I not comment on others' poor estimations, I've wondered if some of mine have been way off, but not bothered investigating/correcting until months later. My calorie count for bread for instance should have been at least 70 calories higher, each and every day for more than six months. But because I was losing just fine, it didn't matter one bit. May not matter to them either.

    This is too investigative- unless you have a hardcore stalker I doubt anyone would be able to pick up on that especially if you still end your day with 100-200 cals deficit. That's my take on it.
  • motivatedsister
    motivatedsister Posts: 544 Member
    I don't say anything! Lol sometimes I read things here on MFP and it does make me stop and scratch my head and wonder how did they come up with that number. But instead of focusing on what they say they burn I usually end up trying to challenge myself to see how much I burn doing the same activity (I have a Fitbit charge hr). And when I undoubtedly don't burn nearly the same..I just say man they were working hard lol.

    Other than that if I see really out there numbers I just chalk it up to they used MFP which overestimates.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,213 Member
    viren19890 wrote: »
    Aren't you on friend list to "Support" them ? observing silence is "supporting" ?

    I've always inboxed them -suggesting what's good based on how much I know. So far I've had three people massively under-eating-it's just painful to watch 20 likes on massive under-eating sprees.

    and so far I've been deleted by 2 people. YAY!

    This is the reason why I try to maintain a small friends list-so I can actually check on them. If a "friend" on my list doesn't even reply back to comment or is getting 30-40 likes - I delete em because well clearly they have enough "support" and I rather save my energy and effort.

    Undereating is another matter. I'm not going to cheer on what looks to be an eating disorder in the making.

  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    I agree that some calorie burns look crazy, but remember they are adjusted based on weight & I think age also. A 300 lb person burns a lot more than a 100 lb Person doing the same activity.
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
    Christine_72 wrote: »
    I've never said anything. I just don't "like" or comment/congratulate on the obviously inaccurate ones.

    Same here.
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
    I think it's safe to say that there are a lot things that go unsaid among friends here at MFP. I even had to backspace and delete a detailing of them. Makes ya want to vent, but...sigh.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    I'll squawk if I see someone log 1000 calories in 30 minutes, but generally I mentally calculate that the time and the burn they log are reasonable. On weekends, the "walking 2.5 mph" is a trip to Wal-Mart and it can take an hour.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    goldthistime wrote: »

    Undereating is another matter. I'm not going to cheer on what looks to be an eating disorder in the making.

    Amen. People don't find this site because they're in a healthy relationship with food and facts.
  • 85Cardinals
    85Cardinals Posts: 733 Member
    edited May 2016
    I give them a heapin' helpin' of tough love and speak the truth, baby. Only way they'll learn.
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    I have some friends on here who want to lose weight and some who want to gain weight. However I would say the majority already have a healthy BMI and are primarily focused on improving and properly fueling their fitness programs.

    Over time the issue you describe self corrects because those who constantly overestimate/underestimate tend to give up and leave the site before reaching their goal. I never offer advice unsolicited but have tried to help when people ask for reasons why they are not reaching their goals.
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
    If they ask for help I'll offer help.

    But generally I leave people to do it them selves.

    But I haven't really seen anyone do anything too wrong. Like no "I burned 1000 calories running for 15min" posts, they all seem reasonable.
  • ladyreva78
    ladyreva78 Posts: 4,080 Member
    I only make a comment if it's requested. Otherwise, I just leave it be and assume they are adult enough to know what they are doing or ask for help if they need it.
  • celadontea
    celadontea Posts: 335 Member
    You can't blame your friends when it's coded directly into My Fitness Pal that an elliptical burns almost 900 calories per hour. It's stuff like that to blame that estimates around a few HUNDRED calories higher than what's the real norm. If I saw someone logging it every day I might make a comment such as, "How fast are you going? I'm 200 or so pounds and only burn 500/600 calories per hour covering this much distance with this much resistance, using a heart rate monitor."
  • distinctlybeautiful
    distinctlybeautiful Posts: 1,041 Member
    I try not to offer advice where it's not wanted. It's never been well-received in the past. I did recently post a status about how I hate that MFP encourages people to come in under goal and how I think MFP shouldn't let people's diaries post if their net calories are under 1200. That didn't get a very good response! I just don't hit "like" on stuff I don't want to support. I recently took someone off my list because she kept asking for help and advice about raising net intake but didn't appear to be following through on any of it, leaving the net calories under 1000 almost every day. So I guess long story short, I keep it to myself unless asked, but I might I unfriend people depending how I feel.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    I keep it shut unless asked and even then there is the chance people will get mad or upset.

    For example I have a friend on here and irl and she is under eating and not being healthy...20lbs to lose and she is down 1/2lb appx every 2 days...sometimes more...I have made broad statements around her but never directly to her as I have tried prior and people either A) don't want to hear it B)don't believe it. C) take offense and say things like "you're just jealous I am losing faster than you"...
  • AmazonMayan
    AmazonMayan Posts: 1,168 Member
    edited May 2016
    distinctlybeautiful wrote: »
    I try not to offer advice where it's not wanted. It's never been well-received in the past. I did recently post a status about how I hate that MFP encourages people to come in under goal and how I think MFP shouldn't let people's diaries post if their net calories are under 1200. That didn't get a very good response! I just don't hit "like" on stuff I don't want to support. I recently took someone off my list because she kept asking for help and advice about raising net intake but didn't appear to be following through on any of it, leaving the net calories under 1000 almost every day. So I guess long story short, I keep it to myself unless asked, but I might I unfriend people depending how I feel.

    I hate the under goal announcement too. I've seen so many cheering coming under and then scolding someone if they went over.

    The person only went over a few calories and she got all kinds of unsolicited advice on how to do better the next day. Even if she were over by more or a lot, why scold? She's logging. She might have had a special day or bad day, etc. (If over by a lot). Way to knock someone down and possibly contribute to undereating/eating disorders.

    I did have someone who was drastically over estimating elliptical calories burned - over 1000 for 30 minutes but I didn't say anything. The person wasn't asking for advice and was posting losses.
  • viren19890
    viren19890 Posts: 778 Member
    You guys are very sensitive. I really don't care what they think. I will voice my concerns especially if they are massively under-eating. Out of 3 people who I've messaged privately regarding their probable eating disorder 2 have deleted me and 1 became a very good friend of mine. Then there were other 2 who deleted me because I voiced my concerns over their status lol

    I'm here to support, if you added me to flirt then too bad because if you are casual enough to flirt you should also be casual enough to take constructive criticism.

    We all make up what is known as a community. So if they get offended, let em be. If they delete you, let it be.

    Everyone comes in our life for a season, reason or a lifetime. Be humble and voice your concerns, you might learn that you are wrong or you might make a new friend and worse comes to worse they'll delete you and you might not be mentioned in their Oscar winning speech.

  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
    Kittenisspooky wrote: »
    When you have friends on here who way way underestimates their daily calories eaten and way way over estimates their workouts do you tell them or just congratulate them on being " under" their goal?

    I do not mean this in a catty way but if you genuinely care for the person. Do you think they are just enjoying being delusional or do you think you should say something?

    Years ago I use to comment, I had someone log "reading" , "driving" this was all before there where 1000 fit devices and HRM's of course. Anyways it never went over well and people would always be defensive and I'd be the bad guy of course.

    Heart was in the right place in my mind, trying to inform people that reading isn't exercise and neither is driving, but I would get rebuttals and they had some crazy logic to it.

    I never really check peoples diary logs, I just click "like" on them all because it means people are making an effort to track what they eat. I never go into someones diary unless they ask me to and frankly I don't have the time for something like that. Also there would be no way for me to verify what they did or did not eat
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    viren19890 wrote: »
    You guys are very sensitive. I really don't care what they think. I will voice my concerns especially if they are massively under-eating. Out of 3 people who I've messaged privately regarding their probable eating disorder 2 have deleted me and 1 became a very good friend of mine. Then there were other 2 who deleted me because I voiced my concerns over their status lol

    I'm here to support, if you added me to flirt then too bad because if you are casual enough to flirt you should also be casual enough to take constructive criticism.

    We all make up what is known as a community. So if they get offended, let em be. If they delete you, let it be.

    Everyone comes in our life for a season, reason or a lifetime. Be humble and voice your concerns, you might learn that you are wrong or you might make a new friend and worse comes to worse they'll delete you and you might not be mentioned in their Oscar winning speech.

    mine isn't from sensitivity mine is from not giving a crap.

    I don't care what they think..or say. I just know that I set an example and post things on my profile and if they are interested and actually care about themselves they will take heed.

    Otherwise they can float.

    IE the ones who get offended when I tell them they are losing too fast and losing muscle that get ticked whatever...have at if you want to be soft and squishy but 120lbs...

    I've tried to help and get slapped for it so now I focus on my priority which is me and if others want my advice they can ask and if they get put off by it don't ask again.

    call me jaded but been there done that....
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    viren19890 wrote: »
    Aren't you on friend list to "Support" them ? observing silence is "supporting" ?

    I've always inboxed them -suggesting what's good based on how much I know. So far I've had three people massively under-eating-it's just painful to watch 20 likes on massive under-eating sprees.

    and so far I've been deleted by 2 people. YAY!

    This is the reason why I try to maintain a small friends list-so I can actually check on them. If a "friend" on my list doesn't even reply back to comment or is getting 30-40 likes - I delete em because well clearly they have enough "support" and I rather save my energy and effort.

    Ya, I have a few people in my FL I know are undereaters from their threads here. Because I never look at diaries unless prompted to, I've stopped liking everyone's diary completion.

    I should probably prune my FL into a manageable size.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    celadontea wrote: »
    You can't blame your friends when it's coded directly into My Fitness Pal that an elliptical burns almost 900 calories per hour. It's stuff like that to blame that estimates around a few HUNDRED calories higher than what's the real norm. If I saw someone logging it every day I might make a comment such as, "How fast are you going? I'm 200 or so pounds and only burn 500/600 calories per hour covering this much distance with this much resistance, using a heart rate monitor."

    Ya, I get 349 calories an hour for gardening, and this time of year I garden a LOT. However, I don't eat all those calories back. I often leave hundreds of calories on the table.
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