Parents dealing with strong willed children

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  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    Whoops, sorry. Yep I meant @sunn_lighter

    I don't argue with people on the internet because we both know we're right but I'm a *kitten* amazing parent with two extraordinary kids so suck it

    You know what, you're right and I was a dick to post what I did. I'm sorry, it was a glib comment which was of no use to the OP and a dig at you (and JP_909). Nether of you deserved it.

    Sorry again.

    Wow, I didn't think apologies were made here at MFP. That is amazing. Great work.

    Rare--but it happens, especially when the poster is big enough to know they're not perfect. Hats off to you, StealthHealth.
  • Sunny_Bunny_
    Sunny_Bunny_ Posts: 7,140 Member
    @Sunny_Bunny_ Do you get notifications when someone mentions you using the @ symbol?

    Yes.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    I have an 8 year old who has focus issues. The biggest thing is to have patience and keep teaching them. For my 8 year old, I need to remove all distractions - no tv, no toys, nothing on the table (and that still doesn't always help).

    Strangely enough, if I have classical music playing, she focuses better. It seems that the music distracts from other distractions, and yet is, in itself, soothing. (It works for me too).

    Getting angry, frustrated, threats, punishment - isn't going to help - only hurt, if your child legitimately has focus issues. Try to stay patient and keep redirecting them back to the task at hand.
  • lesleyloo7879
    lesleyloo7879 Posts: 439 Member
    Have you had her dad come to the meetings with the teacher? She is six..... they get burnt out...... I fight with my 6 year old ..... she has homework.... the worse is when she has to write sentences. She is little she still can communicate how frustrated she gets so therapy will be good. Ask your ex to come to a meeting with her teacher.... maybe he needs to be reminded this is about her that little girl and not him. She will be the one who suffers. I have to sit with my kid and it works for her , maybe she could do her homework at Kumon. Good Luck
  • nene9999
    nene9999 Posts: 5 Member
    I use to go thru the same thing with my middle child and it took a few yrs cause I didn't know what to do or where to go but when I did speak to the Dr and did testing she was diagnosed with add at age 8 early bed times did help as well case they get up so early for school she's 10 and I still have to send her upstairs at 830 for bed good luck doll it will get better just stay strong
  • Shana67
    Shana67 Posts: 680 Member
    I have sent notes attached to the homework back to the teacher to the effect of, "I'm sorry, but my KINDERGARTNER is not going to be spending hours on homework tonight. Instead, after school we (fill in the blank of fun learning type activity)."

    As a child gets older, I understand and value the need for homework, but at age 6? There is none.
  • kdtesoriero
    kdtesoriero Posts: 141 Member
    Try giving her small breaks in between... Like okay let's do this page of math and you can go get a glass of water or stretch for a minute or some other little thing. If she can't do a whole page, try one or two problems. Ask her what does she want to start with. If she has three assignments, which would she like to do first. Reward can be in the form of wow, we got through that in 10 minutes (one page of math) that was great, I wonder if tomorrow we can do it in 9 minutes and have a race?
  • kimdawnhayden
    kimdawnhayden Posts: 298 Member
    Whoops, sorry. Yep I meant @sunn_lighter

    I don't argue with people on the internet because we both know we're right but I'm a *kitten* amazing parent with two extraordinary kids so suck it

    You know what, you're right and I was a dick to post what I did. I'm sorry, it was a glib comment which was of no use to the OP and a dig at you (and JP_909). Nether of you deserved it.

    Sorry again.

    I think you are awesome to apologize. Best wishes.

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  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,401 Member
    yayamom3 wrote: »
    Have you asked to have her tested for the school's gifted program? I am a teacher and mother of gifted students. I've had several students over the years who refused to do homework because they already knew the concepts and viewed it as a waste of their time. I also agree with having her tested for ADHD/ADD.

    This x10

    A very valid point to look into.

    Our local school system starts gifted testing at a very young age, as well as holding seminars and meetings for the parents of gifted students, along with gifted resource teachers that challenge them on different and more individual levels.

    Having also researched this on my own in addition to our local resources, I give huge appreciation for the above post. During one of the seminars they presented research that showed that many kids that are either highly gifted or ADHD/ADD diagnosed have many very similar traits, one of them being somewhat strong willed. The research showed that often the difference between the kids that excelled and those that became attention disordered wasn't the kids themselves, but the lack of challenge presented to the kids that eventually often were diagnosed ADHD.

    There are long lists of common traits to both groups. Sensitivity to world social issues and news media, an often reserved nature, and a number of others on the list have led people to think that some of these potentially very bright kids are in fact easily distracted with attention problems. The reality is that many of those kids are thinking on a more adult level at a young age, and that is the reason they stand out from other kids. Often the course they take is much more influenced by the parents than the abilities of the child.


    In my case, it opened my eyes to the fact that even at a very young age, our daughter responded much more favorably to being treated as an adult. Though she is sensitive and often somewhat disturbed by the reality of the "adult world", it directs her actions in a more positive way to be more open about adult level actions and consequences of those actions.

    Great post @yayamom3 I'm glad our local schools gave me guidance in the thought you provided, and that we have such great resources for gifted students. Thanks for what you do. I know that myself, my wife, and my daughter will remember some of our daughters gifted resource teachers for the rest of our lives.
  • Brimixed
    Brimixed Posts: 186 Member
    I work in the special education field. Did you know there are some countries that don't even recognize adhd as a medical diagnosis? Instead of looking at drugging her, try talking to her teachers or even looking at a behavior consultant for some different strategies. The last thing I would do is put your 6 year old on medication. :)
  • anncook158
    anncook158 Posts: 9 Member
    Corporal punishment is one of the most quick and effective ways to discipline a child who is acting up. Children who are misbehaving become a quick distraction to the entire learning environment and corporal punishment allows this to be dealt with in a quick and swift way.
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