I need a bit of HELP - I am beginning to fail and I am scare

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Not sure if this should even be in motivation but I can do with all the motivation I can get at the moment.

After 4 succuessful months , 20 lbs lost and not a single gain, I seem to have hit a brick wall?

Why do I always do this to myself? When I am in the right frame of mind I find losing weight so darn easy... But it is like a light switch went off and I have given up?

I had a week off work in Mid June and went crazy - I had a BBQ, a picnic, I went out for Thai, I went out for steak - I had lots of wine and cake and did no exercise. I tried not to feel too guilty as it was my 'vacation' but since then I haven't been able to get myself truly back on track.

I am over my calories most day, I am still not exercising [I am not great with exercise at the best of times though], instead of limiting alcohol to once a week I seem to be having a few glasses of wine every other day?

I am still watching what I eat but I cannot seem to stop the odd treat sneaking back in? Why am I doing this to myself? I was doing so well.

I did stop smoking 7 weeks ago and I also had some personal issues in late May...

I was doing so well though, why have I just given up? :-(

I lost 40lbs in 2006, then old habits returned and I gained half of it back. I don't want my life to be a merry-go-round of losing and gaining!

Replies

  • mamacremers
    mamacremers Posts: 183 Member
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    sounds weird, but if you get a craving for a treat, try to make yourself skip it for a day or two. You won't crave them then. Somehow that has happened like that with me. so I try my HARDEST to fight that craving, and I'm good. If i give in to that craving, it will be unbearable until I make myself skip it and then I don't have a problem again.
  • koylefam
    koylefam Posts: 142 Member
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    Let it go.... start today fresh. Don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow or next week or next month. Focus on today and TODAY ONLY!!!! This is about changing those habits so pick one and do it today. "Today I will only stay in my claories" Or Today I will not have any alcohol... pick one hing and start fresh with it today. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!! I BELIEVE YOU CAN
  • melbaby925
    melbaby925 Posts: 613
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    First - today is a new day. Stop beating yourself up immediately. The guilt is only going to make the whole eating thing worse - at least it does for me.

    Second - the only way I've been successful this time after 20 years of struggling with failing on diets is because I am eating whatever I want, as long as I stay as close to my calorie goal as possible. Once I was successful at that (the first 25 pounds), I am now looking at what I'm eating and changing it a bit a time.

    Take the stress out of the process and it will work. At least it has for me. And go exercise. When you feel like eating, take the dog or the kids or the gf/bf/hubby for a walk. Being out in the sunshine for a 10 minute stroll does wonders for the vitamin D levels as well as your mood!

    Good luck - you can do this!
  • girlontheseesaw
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    Well, you're not really giving up, because you're still thinking about it, and seeking advice here.

    Well done for giving up smoking - that really is a big deal. It's no surprise you want to reward yourself with treats, and be aware of the increase in your appetite that comes as giving up cigarettes (when I gave up smoking 10 years ago I put on most of the weight I am carrying now).

    Allow yourself treats, but just keep an eye on it, I guess. Don't punish yourself for 'time off' and ease yourself back into a routine. You've lost a good amount of weight already, so you know you can do it again.

    Try not to think of it as a merrygoround of losing and gaining, rather natural fluctuations that need keeping in check every so often.

    Good luck - you can do it!
  • Meggie_pooh
    Meggie_pooh Posts: 316 Member
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    I hit a wall like that about 2 months ago, but then I remembered all the reasons why I wanted to lose weight and I got back on track. I think it happens to all of us! U have to just push thru and remember WHY u started in the first place. and u have all of us here for support, so feel free to add me :bigsmile:
  • kimmerroze
    kimmerroze Posts: 1,330 Member
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    Well, from what you have said, there seems to be only one answer. Get back at it.... You had a fantastic vacation, vacations end. Now its time to get back to work.

    I don't know if this will help you, and most people say that you shouldn't cut things out of your diet, but when I have had a bad week or two, I go on a month of no sugar or processed things. By the end of the month I am feeling so darn good that I have the will power to get back at it.

    NO ONE is going to make you do it, and we can encourage you with all we got, but the only person that is going to kick your butt back into gear is you!

    SO GO GET IT! you can do it! we believe in you!
  • Hernandezedw
    Hernandezedw Posts: 284
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    Sounds like you're trying to diet instead of changing your life. Recognize that the old you is how you ended up overweight. There's no such thing as a cheat day or vacation. Vacations are meant to get away from work. Doesn't mean you can't find time to work out. If you want to eat more calories, you're just gonna have to work them off. That's what I do. I know I can't change my eating habits. But I can easily eat less and work out a lot more. So that's what I do.
  • trainguy917
    trainguy917 Posts: 366 Member
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    With only two pounds to go, you need to start changing yourself into maintenance mode, with an occasional treat allowed. You just can't let it go crazy. Everyone should always be conscious of how they eat, though, regardless of whether they are losing, maintaining, or trying to gain muscle. Just try to think of it as a way of eating rather than a diet. It's how you choose to eat rather than what you are forcing yourself to do. It could be that this little change in focus can help you.
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
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    You're at the point where this has all become a bit boring and also where you may just be fed up with monitoring your diet so closely. I think 3-4 months into a program is a fairly natural point at which to hit a motivational lull.

    It may be time to break out the recipe books or hit up MFP and google for some new ways to prepare healthy meals so there's more variety in your diet. It may also be time to change up your exercise goals or to find a workout buddy so there's more fun and variety in yoru exercise routine. Not only should this help re-ignite your motivation, it should confuse your body a little so that your weight loss continues.
  • karenkwalker
    karenkwalker Posts: 155 Member
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    I believe the first stage of change is discontentment - if you are not unhappy with where you are then you don't have the motivation to change anything. So maybe the 20 lbs lost - has put you in a place where you aren't as discontented with where you were. We tend to forget where we were. So maybe motivation would come by - thinking about where you want to be - maybe find a picture of a runner or someone whose got a healthy lifestyle and use that as motivation of where you currently are so you can feel that restless feeling and change your thinking and get back to your healthy lifestyle? Good luck for your journey.
  • TheBrandon
    TheBrandon Posts: 12 Member
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    Not sure if this should even be in motivation but I can do with all the motivation I can get at the moment.

    After 4 succuessful months , 20 lbs lost and not a single gain, I seem to have hit a brick wall?

    Why do I always do this to myself? When I am in the right frame of mind I find losing weight so darn easy... But it is like a light switch went off and I have given up?

    I had a week off work in Mid June and went crazy - I had a BBQ, a picnic, I went out for Thai, I went out for steak - I had lots of wine and cake and did no exercise. I tried not to feel too guilty as it was my 'vacation' but since then I haven't been able to get myself truly back on track.

    I am over my calories most day, I am still not exercising [I am not great with exercise at the best of times though], instead of limiting alcohol to once a week I seem to be having a few glasses of wine every other day?

    I am still watching what I eat but I cannot seem to stop the odd treat sneaking back in? Why am I doing this to myself? I was doing so well.

    I did stop smoking 7 weeks ago and I also had some personal issues in late May...

    I was doing so well though, why have I just given up? :-(

    I lost 40lbs in 2006, then old habits returned and I gained half of it back. I don't want my life to be a merry-go-round of losing and gaining!

    You need to get out a picture of yourself with the added weight. Take a good look. Who do you want to be?
  • phatsoslim
    phatsoslim Posts: 257 Member
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    Try and drink lots and lots of water. Set a goal to start exercising again, even if it's a short walk. Each day or each time you go out, increase your time by a few minutes. That feeling of feeling good about yourself will start to return and you WILL continue on in your journey to a healthier YOU. Focus on your goal and how you want to feel and you will feel it.
  • travishein
    travishein Posts: 78
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    hey sometimes the body has its own idea of when it thinks vacation is over. :) I've been eating more lately too, which is odd because its summer and the warmer weather usually makes me have less appetite.

    one thing i find, after TWO YEARS of trying to eat better and get more activity, i still slip from time to time and have a bunch of bad for me foods, like sugar cookies, or salty chinese foods. you would think i would lean, but i haven't. but the problem i have is these food are high calorie, which blow out my calories for the day. and they are not very good quality kind of energy. like they make me feeling tired and bloated, and certainly not in the mood to get out and be active again. and the third final trump card is these foods seem to make me feel not satisfied and i get very hungry again much sooner than if i ate good foods with that high quality energy. and yea, this is right away a self feeding downward spiral. i get a bit peckish between meals, and end up snacking on some more sugary or bad for me snacks. and then dont feel like exercising later and the cycle repeats.

    one thing i like to do is make for myself non-calorie or non weight goals. for example, my personal challenge this month (this is the 2nd month into it) is to try to get on average 1 hour of activity per day. which means i dont have to do an hour a day, some days im busy. and the activity can be anything other than sitting here at my desk. usually i walk or jog, or take kids to a park in a stroller. or yard work. or house cleaning. the idea is i challenge myself to try to get in a unit of time (not units of calories or weight) of stuff done. and, not some small interval like a day, or a week, but an entire month. because of those days where i really am too busy or too tired, i don't want to have that feel bad guilt getting in my way and demotivating me again when i fail to get in my goal hours of activity for a given week, or a given day.. but a month, well, there are tons of opportunities to make up for a few previous days off right. :)

    another challenge i do as a back up, i try to do a certain amount of total distance moved (walk, run, bike, crawl.??) every month. for me im currently trying for 100 miles. each and every month. all of this year. so far i am keeping up with it. the challenge is of course having to be that meticulous type to want to bother to log everything i do in a spreadsheet. but it feels AWESOME to be making my goal. I never thought it was possible to do so much before.

    so try to find something that you can do to challenge yourself, so you can feel rewarded for the achivement of it. and if possible make that something be not a calorie or a weight related goal. and if possible, have a couple different things that you can have as redundant or backup milestones. so that in the event you do happen to not make one of your achievements, you will be able to say "at least i did great on this other one".

    and, for me, in the event I do not achieve my goal of total hours of activity per month and i do not achieve my total distance goal per month, i will then be able to go back and kick the dust off of my scale, and more than likely ill be able to go "hey, i managed to lose a pound or two this month".. which kind of happened itself from being so active right. so when you set yourself up with an arsenal of redundant achievable goals, you always win on at least one of them. and that keeps my motivation up anyway.

    hope some of that is helpful :)
  • CARNAT22
    CARNAT22 Posts: 764 Member
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    Thank you for all the kind and thoughtful replies - I really do love it here :-)

    I am having a bad day but I will not let this become a bad few days or a bad week... I jsut need a kick up the bum I think - so thanks!
    xxx
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
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    But you haven't given up. You feel yourself drowning and you are fighting hard to stay above water...now all you have to do is dig down deep and get that extra little push you need to just be able to tread water and get catch your breath.

    You need to take a moment and find some serious clarity.1st you have to learn how to tell yourself NO. Its not about denying yourself anything. Its about being strong and steadfast in the lifestyle change you've chosen for the reasons you decided were important.

    You then need to realize that you aren't one that can break away from your program without going overboard so you have to find some ways to still enjoy yourself but be able maintain total control. Why don't you chose one day near the end of the month where it becomes your treat day. In order to be successful with this you have to set boundaries for yourself and follow through with them. Set a slightly higher calorie limit for that day. Still eat on plan but you can incorporate a serving of one goody with your meals. So for instance if you normally eat a sweet potato with your dinner but you rather have a bake potato with all the fixings do so. Just keep to the calories amount you set for that day and don't allow that little voice to try to talk you out of it.

    As far as exercise goes you know you need it so you are going to have to make yourself do it. Just know that you don't have to do convential exercises to lose weight. Find something that you will enjoy to do at least 3'Xs a week for at least 30 minutes to an hour. You have to get up and stop being lazy....because laziness of the mind is what stands in our way if we don't have any serious health issues. If your mind tells you that you are too tired then tell your mind oh well I need to get this done. If you can watch tv for 2 hours at night...30 minutes of that time can be spent working out.

    Make yourself your 1st priority again. You can do it. Remember we all experience setbacks but you are only a failure if you quit. I'm not reading quiter in your words. I see strength that's being held back by emotions. Its time for a break through!
  • girlinahat
    girlinahat Posts: 2,956 Member
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    sounds weird, but if you get a craving for a treat, try to make yourself skip it for a day or two. You won't crave them then. Somehow that has happened like that with me. so I try my HARDEST to fight that craving, and I'm good. If i give in to that craving, it will be unbearable until I make myself skip it and then I don't have a problem again.

    I agree - to a point.

    I would try and ride the craving but not to the point where I never give myself a treat. but if you think ' well, I really fancy an ice cream, but I need to stay on this diet (sorry - 'lifestyle change') for a bit so I'll allow myself the icecream in 2 days after I've stuck with it for a bit' then I reckon you will be less bothered about having the icecream when the time comes to have it.

    Also, a non-food treat is good!! Instead of ice cream, do something in the fresh air that is a treat.

    But I know where you are - it happens to most people. One bad day becomes another and then and then.........
  • abbyko
    abbyko Posts: 108
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    Let it go.... start today fresh. Don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow or next week or next month. Focus on today and TODAY ONLY!!!! This is about changing those habits so pick one and do it today. "Today I will only stay in my claories" Or Today I will not have any alcohol... pick one hing and start fresh with it today. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!! I BELIEVE YOU CAN

    That's great advice. I've had some issues recently too, nothing too bad, just not as motivated in the last week or two and really craving fatty things. But that's the best advice just take it one day, one meal at a time. Also I find that planning your meals for the day helps because there isn't the humming and hawing(sp?) about what to eat. I also try to distract myself if I'm feeling unreasonably hungry after a meal, mostly dinner for me, by having a bubbly beverage, diet pop works the best but I'm trying to cut that down to one a couple a week, but Perrier with some lemon or lime with ice works as well. You could always add some stevia too. You can do it!! We all can.
  • cheri0627
    cheri0627 Posts: 369 Member
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    Exercise was always a hard one for me. I never had any desire to do it. I did WW several years ago now, and I did great with it without exercise. Once I hit my goal (and at about that same time the At Work group didn't have enough members anymore and was canceled) I did maintenance for a while and slowly, slowly, slowly completely fell off the wagon. I was back over my initial weight by a bunch.

    Then I joined a class with a friend. I had to go, because she was going. She had to drop out, but I signed up for another session, and another. I made sure to tell the trainer, "See you next time!" because that was making a commitment to be there, so I had to go, even if I didn't want to. For me, that was what worked. And then I started seeing real improvement and feeling so much better. Now I look forward to going to class.

    The funny thing is that right now, I'm still actually above the weight I was at when I started weight watchers that first time. I just feel so much better now than I did then. I'm down almost 35lbs from where I started at this time. I'm addicted to my workout classes.

    My suggestion is find what works for you to make yourself exercise. It really does make a world of difference.
  • Cella30
    Cella30 Posts: 539 Member
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    Hi CARNAT22, I'm you...only one step ahead.

    I started here in February and between February up until Easter Sunday, I kicked butt. I was on top of my eating, logging everything and completely committed to exercise. It paid off, I lost 15 lbs. in 8 weeks. Then I spent Easter weekend at my parents, eating anything and everything I wanted. When I got back home to reality, I just couldn't get back on track. I tried, but my eating was out of control and eventually I just quit working out too. I've gained back all but 2 lbs. :frown:

    I think I just lost my motivation so I'm in the process of finding it:

    1) I found a super cute hairstyle I want and I've put that as my reward for getting to my first landmark. It’s on my fridge and my phone to remind me.

    2) I changed to a different workout routine (30 DS), joined a support group here and committed to stick with it, no matter what my eating is like.

    3) I bought a couple of cute cheap workout outfits to motivate me to want to put them on to work out

    4) I folded a little note card in 1/2 that sits on my desk at home. One side has all the reasons listed why I want to get healthy. The other side has a bunch of motivating quotes on it. It's my little reminder why I'm doing this on those occasions when I forget, which seems to be about every meal. :tongue:

    5) I'm taking baby steps to get back into the swing. Thinking I'm going to wake up and "be good tomorrow" never works for me. Last week, I set a goal to work out every day. That's it. I got to eat whatever I wanted. So I worked out every day and started feeling good again and seeing the results reflected in my body. This started to motivate me again. So this week I'm adding my diet into it. I can eat whatever I want, but I have got to stay within my calories (which, btw I upped to maintenance). So far I'm on track. Next week, I'll try to limit the bad foods again. After that I might lower my calories back down again. These steppingstone goals are more obtainable for me in my current frame of mind.

    6) Will power. I don't know about you, but I feel like I missed out on this gene when I was born. But I read an interesting article on it, and apparently will power is just like another muscle in your body. You have to work it out to make it strong. So the more times I can say "no" to eating crappy foods or doing things that I don't want to do, the stronger my will power becomes and the easier it gets to say no.

    Anyway, I'm climbing up from the hole I dug myself into and I know you will too. Posting here means you care and want to get better. You are not alone in your struggles, my friend! :flowerforyou: