Can't seem to loose...what am I doin wrong?

kobeirn27
kobeirn27 Posts: 3
edited September 29 in Introduce Yourself
I have tried everything I can possibly think of. I can't seem to loose any weight. I have become so frustrated and stressed out. I feel fat, I look fat, I feel like everyone sees me as fat. I am constantly scruitinizing myself for my weight gain. I know that being unhappy and depressed can add to my problem, but I just can't find the uplift I am looking for.... For every one pound I loose, I gain 3-5 back. I am so frustrated. It has gotten to the point where the weather is hot and humid and I still find myself wearing jeans and sweat shirts because now...I am uncomfortable wearing a t-shirt!!!

I need some insight...please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks/feels like this?

Replies

  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    If you open your diary people can make suggestion.
  • tlcAK
    tlcAK Posts: 671 Member
    I"ve been going through the same problem. I've been on this site for awhile and just cant shake off any weight. Everytime I lose I gain back. It sucks. I'm trying to take out as much processed foods and to work out more. I pretty sure its my lack of workout and the choice of foods I eat. At least thats what I'm hoping. I don't work out everyday so I'm hoping to try and change that. We can do it Don't get discouraged. It took awhile for you to gain and it will take awhile to lose. We just gotta train our bodies!
  • denyse24
    denyse24 Posts: 62
    I am kinda the same the weight no matter how hard I try comes off really slowly , turtle pace even. This site really does help greatly. Althought I do not lose quickly it does come off in 75 days or so have lost 9 pounds , that equals to about 1 pound a wek so at least that will come to 52 pounds a year. Slow but steady wins the race, Don't dispare it will eventually come off just make sure to keep up with MFP and all will work out in the end. Good luck to you
  • vicky_unni
    vicky_unni Posts: 24
    What is that?
  • vick9180
    vick9180 Posts: 144 Member
    What is "everything you can think of"? How often are you exercising? What are you doing for exercise? What are you eating? Are you attempting to crash diet?

    Weight loss is pretty typically simple math. Have you been tracking your calorie intake? Are you taking in less calories than you are burning without eating less than 1200 calories?
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    eat lots of fiber, only whole grains, eat lots of fruits (NOT dried) and veges (but not peas and corn or potatoes) Drink low calorie beverages, but cut out the fake-sugar stuff such as diet sodas. Hopefully this will help...
  • Melonpaul
    Melonpaul Posts: 323 Member
    I can relate, I battle with myself on a daily basis about my weight and my lack of motivation. I know I don't have a good view on my self image and I'm working on it, some days are harder than others. Talking about it with friends and family helps me, whenever I go to the gym or go out for a walk I usually try and find someone to go with me (my mom, my sister, my boyfriend, etc., you can probably even find people around you that use MFP that wouldn't mind having a workout buddy) and if I can't find someone I take my music.

    Exercising with someone else or even playing music helps me concentrate on the task/exercise at that moment and I usually exercise longer than just working out by myself. It always going to be a struggle, but I've learned I don't get anywhere if i keep beating myself up, if I cheated or didn't exercise one day then I acknowledge it and make sure tomorrow will be better.

    Good luck to you
  • natskedat
    natskedat Posts: 570 Member
  • SheaSheaKoolAyd
    SheaSheaKoolAyd Posts: 4 Member
    My personal trainer said that my problem was that I was not eating enough so my body was clinging too all the calories. You MUST eat breakfast, light snack (fruit/nuts/yogurt/veggies), lunch, light snack, dinner.

    Because I work long hours, I dont get home until after 8pm which you should not eat after 8pm. So I only eat lean meats and veggies for dinner (even though it is after 8pm) and I save the carbs/starches for lunch the next day. So my heaviest meal is lunch instead of dinner.

    Stay away from the scale for now as it will deter you and seem as if you are not losing anything. I went from an XL/14-16 to a M or L 11/12. The scale says I gained 4 lbs but my clothes are fitting bigger now to the point where i had to get rid of all of my old jeans and a few shirts.
  • Heatherbelle_87
    Heatherbelle_87 Posts: 1,078 Member
    Honestly lay it all out for us and Yourself. WHAT are you eating? (open your diary) ARE you logging honestly? IS your activity level truly reflective of your job? WHAT is your workout routine currently like? HOW long have you been doing this consistently? DO you have cheat days? IF so how bad do you cheat? ARE you being realistic with your expectations?

    This isnt the first time Ive been on this journy, but its the most Ive ever lost and Im still going
  • annacataldo
    annacataldo Posts: 872 Member
    why do people ask for help with private diaries?? no one can help unless you actually want them to!

    make sure your eating all your calories; and choosing healhty foods to fill them up; if you excercise be sure you are eating back those calories.

    be sure your drinking the right amount of water for your body weight; 1/2 your body weight in ounces of water each day; extra cups if you excercise, go over sodium, or drink caffeine.

    Eat low sodium. i personally dont pay much attention to carbs because it makes dieting to difficult for me to watch not only calories but every single other category and not be able to eat foods i enjoy as well.

    scale wont always move; i have weeks of plateau all the time; but just remember eventually it will come off if your eating enough food. If you arent eating enough you wont beable to loose cuz ur in starvation mode.
  • SmileSarah47
    SmileSarah47 Posts: 11 Member
    I'm going through the same thing, but if you really be honest you know what you are doing or not doing. I know I need to get up and get moving more. You also have to look at the things you like about your body I love my booty lol I get compliments on it. Find what you like about yourself and focuss on that. My new motto "What I don't like somebody else does"
    Smiles
  • Runshanrun
    Runshanrun Posts: 21 Member
    I've learned that I have to drinks lots of water, exercise at least five days a week (walking is great) and eat lots of fiber then I don't feel starved and I drop about a pound a week. If i don't exercise I feel starved...exercise cuts my desire to eat and gives me more calories I can consume.

    It also sounds like you could use a little TLC. Dress nicely (that always makes me feel better), do your hair and makeup and then GO SOMEWHERE. The library, the park, the store even and smile at everyone you see! As people smile back your mood will lighten-up instantly!

    You can do this!
  • lbelfrey
    lbelfrey Posts: 63
    Doing my workouts and making the right food coices makes ME feel GOOD. The weight will come off, it's not gonna happen over night. That's the harsh reality of it. When I'm slacking on my workouts and eating unhealthy food I feel so bad about myself. So that's why I'm sticking to this. I don't like feeling bad about myself. Also, try looking up food that HELP your mood and eat more of those foods. When we eat junk it affects our mood BIGTIME!
    Take care!
    Louisa
  • we all have our rough times.......just don't give up!!!!!!...h20 it!!!!! and use portion control,but get your cals and carbs....:drinker:
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,330 Member
    I don't know how long you have been at this, except that you joined here this month. Frankly, you have not given us enough information to help. We need to see your food diary so we can make suggestions on eating changes that might help. We don't know how tall you are, how active you are, how carefully you are measuring your portions or anything.

    My suggestions based on that lack of information are these:

    1) Measure carefully and log every single thing you eat. By measure carefully I am saying get a good kitchen scale (you can find them quite inexpensively at many stores I got mine at Canadian Tire for about $10) Often the problem is people are eating more than they think either due to estimating serving size or thinking that that one candy can't be too many calories. So measure and log everything. At the very least it will confirm the number of calories you are eating.

    2) Drink lots of water. It will help keep you full, keep you from retaining water, and more.

    3) Realize that for some people it takes a while until they start losing weight, but they are losing inches. Break out the measuring tape and start measuring you chest, waist and hips so you can see that even when the scale doesn't move.

    Please open you diary so we can help more.
  • Mommawarrior
    Mommawarrior Posts: 897 Member
    If you open your diary people can make suggestion.
  • kobeirn27
    kobeirn27 Posts: 3
    I'm sorry, still new to the site, I didn't know you had to make the diary public...my appologies.

    I have tried everything from weight watchers to cleanses. I'm not gonna lie I love everything that is bad for me. over the last year I have most certainly tried to stop eating/drinking that of which is nothing but crap. My downfall is pop. I know it is probably the worst thing for me.

    I have an extreamly active job. I am lifting and walking all day for 8 hours a day. I always thought that was enough to keep me in the somewhat active regime. How ever, I was talking with the fitness instructor at my work(we are coming up with a fitness plan for myself this week) and he said that yes it is considered being moderatly active however my body is used to the walking for 8 hours and lifting, there for it does not recognize it as "working out".

    I know I am to blame for my eating habits as well as exercise habits, and I guess I figured I would try this site out to see if I could find the motivation I need to push me harder then ever. I have always gotten slack from my parents about my weight and i feel that the nagging is more of a put down rather then a pep talk. So I am open to listen to whatever any one throws my way, because I realize now that I am in a position where if I don't get help i need now then there is no where else to go but down.

    Thank you all for responding!
  • tifgail
    tifgail Posts: 2
    KOBEIRN27
    If you constantly tell yourself your fat and ugly tha's how you will look to yourself. Try telling yourself you are beautiful and skinny and you can lose weight. I have found that being positive about the things I am saying to myself helps keep me on track! Also... its ok to cheat once in awhile. Do not feel gulity. You over ate... ah well you will have a better day tomorrow!
  • First, you are NOT the only one who feels that way!

    Thank you for letting us see your diary. My first thought is with one meal a day, running about 800 calories, your body thinks it's going through a famine!

    The soda pop and apple juice are doing you no good. Have you tried diet soda? There are many opinions on that, mine is that it's better than sugar water. If sodas are your comfot food (they are mine!) diet would be a better choice. Someone will argue water would be your best choice, one step at a time.

    I'm going to suggest easy steps. Something like Week One, don't try any changes, just record honestly and accurately in your diary. Week two, eat a little bit several times a day. Week three, replace one food (suggest the sda) with a healthier choice (suggest diet soda, green tea, or water, not fruit juice!).

    Baby steps, one small change a week, we can do this!
  • vick9180
    vick9180 Posts: 144 Member
    Ok...I checked out your food diary, and here's the trend I've noticed: You're skipping meals, and you're not eating enough calories. Basically, you're breaking your own metabolism. This morning you ate less than 200 calories for breakfast, and you skipped dinner last night. By going so long without anything substantial in your system, you're literally starving your body. So, because our bodies are smarter than we think, it's hoarding everything you put in it to use later to convert to energy. This will cause weight gain.

    Your first meal of the day is called breakfast...this meal gets its term from literally breaking the fast that your body goes through when you're asleep at night. I'm sure you've heard that this is the most important meal of the day, and that holds 100% true. This meal should contain at least one of everything from each food group. When you start your day off with a meal like this, it affects your mood greatly in a positive way and will help you stay on track for the rest of the day.

    Next, if I were you, I'd switch back to regular soda and just limit your intake. Here's why: Diet sodas have zero calories, zero sugar, zero nutrition. As I said, our bodies are smarter than we are. When you put this stuff in your body and try to "trick" it into thinking you had something sweet, your body laughs at you! It knows that it cannot use anything in that soda for energy. So it sends a signal to the brain that you're still hungry and you need something sweet. So your body tells you it's hungry. This will cause people to overeat and gain more weight. Not to mention the chemicals that are used to create this sugar-free drink aren't good for your body. So stick to real stuff. My feelings are like this for any "diet" or "fat-free" food. It's not a natural product and we were not built to ingest unnatural stuff. It causes all sorts of health issues for us and your body can't process any of it.

    There is nothing wrong with enjoying the foods that you love. But when those foods are loaded down with simple carbs and saturated fats, you've gotta think about lowering your intake. Discipline yourself to only have one serving a day and use those extra calories for filling, healthy foods like fruits, veggies, nuts, fish, chicken, whole-grain foods. You might not even have a desire to eat those other foods once you put the good stuff in your body because you'll feel much more satisfied.

    If you were one of my clients and I was laying out a plan for you, my biggest suggestion would be to make sure you are eating regularly throughout the day and not skipping any meals and to track everything you put in your body. Even if you end up going over your calorie intake, if you can see what you're putting into your body, you will see what you can change on your own. Stay off the scale until you make a habit of tracking everything and eating consistently. From there, then you can implement those small changes that will make a huge impact on your body, like substituting in water for one of those sodas or eating an apple instead of that cookie, etc. Don't try to change everything at once...it's a step by step process and nobody is perfect. Even as a personal trainer, I still make mistakes. Just don't beat yourself up over it and get back on track as quickly as possible.

    Hope this is helpful to you! I know that you can do this. Patience is a virtue, though, and something that everyone struggles with. You'll get where you want to!!
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,330 Member
    I have an extreamly active job. I am lifting and walking all day for 8 hours a day. I always thought that was enough to keep me in the somewhat active regime. How ever, I was talking with the fitness instructor at my work(we are coming up with a fitness plan for myself this week) and he said that yes it is considered being moderatly active however my body is used to the walking for 8 hours and lifting, there for it does not recognize it as "working out".

    Not eating for 18-24 hours once or twice a week will not hurt your metabolism at all, nor will missing a meal. Our bodies are much more capable than that. The problem I see is you are at 1200 calories. You are in an active job and you are adding workouts as well. Unless you are very tiny (under 5' tall) you need more calories than that to keep your body going. Most people seem to think a large calorie deficit will make them lose faster, but it doesn't.

    The reality is any calorie deficit will gradually slow a person's metabolism. The larger the deficit the faster than happens. Eventually your metabolism will slow down enough to significantly effect your weight loss, sometimes even stopping it. The problem then is you will have lost muscle mass, and once you start eating more your basal metabolic rate is now slower because you have less muscle, and you will gain back not the muscle (unless you are really hitting the weights) but fat leaving you perhaps at the same weight in the end, but you would really be fatter.

    I suggest going into your goals section and set your activity level at moderately active and your weight loss goal at no more than 1.5 pounds a week. I would say set it at one since you likely have been doing this for a while. If your calories are then set at 1200 I would be very surprised.

    Your body needs sufficient nutrients to help burn fat, while at the same time you maintain a MODERATE calorie deficit. This takes time, but it is the far superior way to lose fat.
  • vick9180
    vick9180 Posts: 144 Member
    Not eating for 18-24 hours once or twice a week will not hurt your metabolism at all, nor will missing a meal. Our bodies are much more capable than that.

    This is essentially true, but really can only be applied to those who already have good habits established. However, in this case, when a person eats less than 500 calories one day, then the following day gets barely over 1200, and in one of those meals 60% of it is sugar and saturated fat (aka cookies), skipping meals and going for long periods between meals is extremely detrimental to weight loss goals. And while we only have a glimpse of what her eating habits are like since she's brand new to the site, we can only assume that what we see is what is typical.

    While I agree with everything else you said, that was the one thing that caught my attention that made me think "woah!" You're not wrong...but it's good to understand why at this point, skipping meals should be avoided at all costs. Once she habitually gets enough calories everyday and gets the nutrients she needs, then it won't be as bad if she misses a meal once in a while.
  • kobeirn27
    kobeirn27 Posts: 3
    Vick9180 & Rileysowner

    Thank you so much for all the information you have given me! I can now see where I need to improve on my eating habits. I had no idea that diet soda is worse for you then regular. I figured if I saw the 0 calories 0 sugars on the label, the better for me it is. I still have a lot to learn as you are proving, and I am most definitely willing to learn! I just have to remember "one step at a time".

    Thanks again!!
  • SenorToenails
    SenorToenails Posts: 23 Member
    Vick9180 & Rileysowner

    Thank you so much for all the information you have given me! I can now see where I need to improve on my eating habits. I had no idea that diet soda is worse for you then regular. I figured if I saw the 0 calories 0 sugars on the label, the better for me it is. I still have a lot to learn as you are proving, and I am most definitely willing to learn! I just have to remember "one step at a time".

    Thanks again!!

    There isn't a whole lot proven on the whole 'diet is worse than regular soda' argument. If you want pop, have some--just in moderation! Listen to some of the advice people gave you about taking small steps to get your nutrition figured out. Don't get overly worried on the minutia just yet(face it--sweeteners are trivial when you're trying to make sure your meals are balanced!) --wait until you have a solid base and balanced nutritional habits.
  • karenkwalker
    karenkwalker Posts: 155 Member
    You might change your settings to view sugar and sodium. Since I did that and started exercising - I stopped yo yoing the same 2 pounds, while steadily gaining more weight. I have been quite serious about this for 5 weeks - I've finally lost 9 lbs. - so something is working. I am almost 49 - so some of my problem is my age and metabolism slowing, but I refuse to give into that. It is difficult to be patient - you have to make some serious lifestyle changes - and not think it's a short term program. Don't give up - we are all here for you!
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,330 Member
    Not eating for 18-24 hours once or twice a week will not hurt your metabolism at all, nor will missing a meal. Our bodies are much more capable than that.

    This is essentially true, but really can only be applied to those who already have good habits established. However, in this case, when a person eats less than 500 calories one day, then the following day gets barely over 1200, and in one of those meals 60% of it is sugar and saturated fat (aka cookies), skipping meals and going for long periods between meals is extremely detrimental to weight loss goals. And while we only have a glimpse of what her eating habits are like since she's brand new to the site, we can only assume that what we see is what is typical.

    While I agree with everything else you said, that was the one thing that caught my attention that made me think "woah!" You're not wrong...but it's good to understand why at this point, skipping meals should be avoided at all costs. Once she habitually gets enough calories everyday and gets the nutrients she needs, then it won't be as bad if she misses a meal once in a while.

    I understand your point, but at the same time I don't want people obsessing over "starvation mode" or "slowing their metabolism" because of a couple of missed meals. Intentionally doing it while eating a good healthy diet 90-95% of the time will not hurt a person. With our lack of data I simply did not what the OP to get all stressed out. It think the bigger issue at this point is that she is moderately active or more in her normal daily activity and only at 1200 calories. That is, except for very odd situations, way to few calories in a day.
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