Why does it have to be like this!?

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browneyes1520
browneyes1520 Posts: 94 Member
in Food and Nutrition
I work part time as a transcriptionist in a hospital. I have someone who works with me but in another hospital. In the past when I wasn't trying to lose weight I told this other woman who is significantly older than me that she makes the best chocolate sandwich cookies I've ever tasted. They are delicious! I have since gotten my *kitten* together and lost 54 pounds. Been struggling a but lately but have finally managed to get back on track and needless to say I don't want to eat cookies or anything I don't plan into my day. So today she sent me a message saying she made the cookies and sent some over to my department and that I needed to go get a couple before they were gone. I politely declined and explained that I am trying to lose weight and watch my calories and my day is already planned out. She hasn't talked to me since. I don't get it. Why can I not politely decline food without having her (or anyone really) be upset at me. Is it not my body? ? Do I not get to decide what I eat?? This doesn't make sense to me. I realize people have put up posts like this before I just needed to vent a tiny bit. Thanks!
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Replies

  • extra_medium
    extra_medium Posts: 1,525 Member
    edited May 2016
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    It's also possible the reason she hasn't talked to you since that exchange has nothing to do with the cookies. Don't overthink it, she might have not been offended at all.
  • junodog1
    junodog1 Posts: 4,792 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    Next time, tell her "Thank you! I'll go get some as soon as I can." Then never go get them. She'll never know.

    ^^^ This
  • browneyes1520
    browneyes1520 Posts: 94 Member
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    Thanks everyone. I messaged her again and apologized again. I work closely with her despite being in separate hospitals so I don't want to have an awkward working relationship with her over cookies but I'm not willing to cave either. We'll see I guess.
  • sanfromny
    sanfromny Posts: 770 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    Next time, tell her "Thank you! I'll go get some as soon as I can." Then never go get them. She'll never know.

    I absolutely agree with you. This was the first thought that popped into my head, but my 2nd thought is Why can't she just be honest? I can understand if OP had asked her to make them and then she changed her mind, but the woman freely and willingly made them and obviously not for the OP exclusively or she would not have placed them in a community area. @browneyes1520 I don't see anything wrong with how you initially handled the situation. Hopefully the no response is temporary and your co-worker is not that sensitive.
  • AlyM725
    AlyM725 Posts: 158 Member
    edited May 2016
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    Next time, tell her "Thank you! I'll go get some as soon as I can." Then never go get them. She'll never know.

    This, but you didn't really do anything wrong with your response though. I would give her some time. She'll get over it. Either way, you did great resisting temptation!
  • Queenmunchy
    Queenmunchy Posts: 3,380 Member
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    Do you normally message each other several times in a day? Maybe you're reading too much into the situation. OR maybe she was busy messaging other people to ask them to take cookies because you didn't want them.

    I'm sure it's fine!
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    Your friend stopped talking to you because you politely told her "no thanks"?

    Your friend sounds like a nutjob...
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 490 Member
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    Some people take things really personally. Obviously she has, which isn't right because you weren't being mean or telling her you don't want her as a friend. As others have said, just tell her you will next time and thank her.
  • skinnyminikendra
    skinnyminikendra Posts: 187 Member
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    My coworker is purposely trying to torment me with cookies, cupcakes, and donuts.
    I just take them and put them back on his desk.

    He has yet to stop talking to me but for yours, maybe it just hurt her feelings a little bit. It may be the way you declined them?
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    Next time, tell her "Thank you! I'll go get some as soon as I can." Then never go get them. She'll never know.

    THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! I do that all the time now.
    Oddly enough no one has caught on to me yet! :)
  • carmkizzle
    carmkizzle Posts: 211 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    Next time, tell her "Thank you! I'll go get some as soon as I can." Then never go get them. She'll never know.

    My first thought, too. That way, no explanations are needed should you feel obligated to provide one for some reason.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    As it just happened today how have you concluded that she was so upset/offended/not talking to you since?

    Yes, you decide what to eat.
    No, not everyone will understand right away if you are turning down food you previously loved. Stay polite but firm and people will get used to it.
  • Queenmunchy
    Queenmunchy Posts: 3,380 Member
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    Lounmoun wrote: »
    As it just happened today how have you concluded that she was so upset/offended/not talking to you since?

    Yes, you decide what to eat.
    No, not everyone will understand right away if you are turning down food you previously loved. Stay polite but firm and people will get used to it.

    That's what I was wondering. Did you try to ask her a question after the cookie thing that she ignored?
  • BeYouTiful94
    BeYouTiful94 Posts: 289 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    Next time, tell her "Thank you! I'll go get some as soon as I can." Then never go get them. She'll never know.

    THIS times one billion and five
    Lounmoun wrote: »
    As it just happened today how have you concluded that she was so upset/offended/not talking to you since?

    Yes, you decide what to eat.
    No, not everyone will understand right away if you are turning down food you previously loved. Stay polite but firm and people will get used to it.

    I also wondered this. Maybe she was on her way to a meeting but before she left her desk wanted to make sure she sent you a message about the cookies before they were gone. Or maybe she did see it, but wasn't offended, she just didn't know what to say back. "Oh good! I'm glad you've decided to lose some weight"???? Well that would imply that she thought you needed to lose weight and was glad you finally got the memo or something ...

    I'm sure it's totally fine. Give her time in case she did get busy, and maybe message her about something unrelated (like just a general question or convo you two would normally have) and see how she responds. As you are both adults, she's likely not upset over a thing of cookies, but if she is, then that's on her, not you :)
  • kirstenb13
    kirstenb13 Posts: 181 Member
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    geekyjock76 wrote: »
    I would have taken 1 cookie, thanked her, ate it and went about the rest of the week.

    Yep, me too. No need to be rude, food is still also a lot about social interaction and one cookie won't change anything about your weight.
  • browneyes1520
    browneyes1520 Posts: 94 Member
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    Just to clear a few things up, we routinely message back and forth throughout the day and with our work messenger system u can tell when someone looks at your message etc. At the end of my message to her politely declining and explaining why I had asked her a couple work related questions. I know she looked at my message but along time went by without any response. It's not the first time she has chosen to just not respond to me there have been other times in the past and there have also been times when she has had conversations with me and has berated and name called other Co workers to me cuz she was mad, so I know her personality. Probably should have just said I'd go get one at some point then just not gone. Next time I know better. Anyways I apologized again for not taking a cookie and after a while she responded it was fine. So I'll take that at face value.

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