Goal making why is it so hard?

btodd304
btodd304 Posts: 105 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I started working out with a trainer 6 weeks ago and was told to make goals. I really don't care about anything but my end goal which is to lose 125lbs and be able to do a pull up :smile:. I want to lose weight at a steady pace to try and tighten everything up as I get smaller, I don't want to have a bunch of saggy skin if I can help it. So she thought 10lbs a month would be a good number to stick to a month which im good with. So far in 6weeks ive lost 20lbs and im still trying to figure out small goals between now and 125lbs less. Losing 20lbs and 16inches has had no effect on me, I can say that I feel better but until that number is 125lbs less I feel like nothing else matters. I know we are our biggest critics and im struggling with it. Seeing the scale move down is great and inches drop but its not good enough I feel. I know im not going to quit and im in it to win it this time, no looking back as I have no other option. I have no current health problems but for me I told myself I would never weigh more than 300lbs. Why that number I have no idea but I got to it and I just refuse to ever get back there. So any help with small obtainable goals would be awesome. I have things I reward myself with when I lose weight in 10lb increments but I don't want it to all be about my weight but that's what I overly focus on.

Replies

  • dwntwn5
    dwntwn5 Posts: 69 Member
    It's silly but I have a calendar and every day use either a green or red marker to mark the day, depending on if I stay within my calorie limit or not. Then, at the end of each month I add up the green marks and the weight lost. The marking sounds silly because it's not a facial or a pair of shoes, but it totally works for me. If I'm thinking about having a glass of wine that doesn't fit into my day, I often stop so I can get the green mark.
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    Small goals are used for motivational purposes.

    If you are not having an issue with motivation, then why do you feel the need to have small goals?
  • pvju
    pvju Posts: 115 Member
    It's a long road and it's hard to keep up the enthusiasm. What gets to me at times is that even with all I've lost (a lot for me) I still have a ways to go and I still feel overweight so that gets me down. I do enjoy logging on here and inputting my new weight every so often. That's pretty enjoyable. I try to get on the community forum for extra motivation when I'm feeling down and hopeless. That helps. You're doing amazingly well!
  • cecsav1
    cecsav1 Posts: 714 Member
    I just want to say props on your pull up goal! It's awesome to have a goal that's performance based rather than appearance based! Why not incorporate some more goals like that? 10 unmodified push ups or workout # times per week? Run a mile in a certain number of minutes? Good luck!
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
    If it's any help, I picked a fundraising 5k that I kinda sorta wanted to participate in and set the goal of getting down below 240 in time to do it. I did it with one day to spare. Later, I set the nearby goal of getting below 220 by my birthday and that seems to be going to happen. These small goals remind me that a single binge day with 3000 mg sodium sets back my progress by a week or more. I know what causes me to binge, and I avoid it. When I imagine having a delightful limited time item at the house, such as my daughter's german chocolate cake this week, I calculate mentally that the agony of re-losing the weight isn't worth the agony of gaining it any way. This seems to be helping me stay on track
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
    Good for you for setting a variety of goals. My fitness accomplishments have kept me motivated in the kitchen for 2 yrs & 140 lb loss (301 to 161, goal 150) it can be hard to set fitness goals because you can't always predict the time frame. But you can always pick what you want to work on next...push ups, running, new exercises, steps, 5 more lb dumbell or barbell, etc. I aslo like kitchen goals like new foods, new recipes, etc. Just got a spiralizer & love it! Small goals do help keep you motivated & you need lots of ongoing motivation for a successful journey.
  • btodd304
    btodd304 Posts: 105 Member
    dwntwn5 wrote: »
    It's silly but I have a calendar and every day use either a green or red marker to mark the day, depending on if I stay within my calorie limit or not. Then, at the end of each month I add up the green marks and the weight lost. The marking sounds silly because it's not a facial or a pair of shoes, but it totally works for me. If I'm thinking about having a glass of wine that doesn't fit into my day, I often stop so I can get the green mark.

    Thats not silly. I think whatever works is great. I just am trying to find something that works for me and love any kind of ideas.

  • btodd304
    btodd304 Posts: 105 Member
    DanaDark wrote: »
    Small goals are used for motivational purposes.

    If you are not having an issue with motivation, then why do you feel the need to have small goals?

    Well main reason is because everyone keeps telling me to make them. But no i have no issue with motivation at this time. I am in it for the long haul this time and im in the mindset of not stopping until i reach my end goal.
  • ziggy2006
    ziggy2006 Posts: 255 Member
    When I lost my weight, my goals were about behaviors that would help me to achieve my goals. They were small, achievable, and addressed any areas I felt were areas in which I could improve. So, depending on where you are at, it might be incorporating more activity, or trying a new activity. It could be packing and bringing healthy lunches to work. It might be finding and preparing 2 new healthy meals this week. Perhaps a goal of exercising for a targeted number of minutes, or walking a particular distance. Maybe logging your food and/or water for X number of days this week/month.

    I did not set goals involving losing X pounds in Y time. I had done that in the past, and found it led me to focus too much on something that was not fully in my control, and was a distraction from the things I actually needed to be doing to make sure I was successful.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Many people do well with a mix of short and long term goals. :) Maybe instead of looking at pounds, look at percents.
    So you could say by this particular day I will weigh 20% less than I do now.
  • btodd304
    btodd304 Posts: 105 Member
    pvju wrote: »
    It's a long road and it's hard to keep up the enthusiasm. What gets to me at times is that even with all I've lost (a lot for me) I still have a ways to go and I still feel overweight so that gets me down. I do enjoy logging on here and inputting my new weight every so often. That's pretty enjoyable. I try to get on the community forum for extra motivation when I'm feeling down and hopeless. That helps. You're doing amazingly well!

    Yeah i see why people make small goals I just wish they motivated me like they do others. I focus too much on my weight so i do like putting when i lose weight. Thanks for the kind words.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
    My big goal is to get to a healthy BMI. The middle of the healthy BMI for me is 160 lb. Small goals along the way are identified as they arise. For instance, a few days ago I decided to make 220 a goal for my birthday in 2 weeks. I can do it but no cheating is allowed. Smaller goals are to have fiber above 38 on the Report every day, sodium below 1500 every day, and protein near the goal every day. Great Big Momentous Goals just aren't my thing.
  • btodd304
    btodd304 Posts: 105 Member
    cecsav1 wrote: »
    I just want to say props on your pull up goal! It's awesome to have a goal that's performance based rather than appearance based! Why not incorporate some more goals like that? 10 unmodified push ups or workout # times per week? Run a mile in a certain number of minutes? Good luck!

    Thanks, I've always wanted to do one since i was a kid I remember having to do some performance thing to see how fast you can run a mile, pull ups etc. I always felt embarrassed in middle school when all the other kids could do several but i couldn't even do one. Im sure that goal is far out but its on the list. I'll have to think about goals like that. I bought a brand new elliptical about a year ago and just started using it, its not the best one out there but it wasnt cheap. Well its not a great as i thought it was and takes way more energy to use then the ones at the gym they are so much smoother. So my goal was to do my 30mins of cardio straight without stopping because usually i stop because it hurts my feet so bad and i did it! Thanks for the advice.
  • btodd304
    btodd304 Posts: 105 Member
    JeromeBarry1 wrote: »
    If it's any help, I picked a fundraising 5k that I kinda sorta wanted to participate in and set the goal of getting down below 240 in time to do it. I did it with one day to spare. Later, I set the nearby goal of getting below 220 by my birthday and that seems to be going to happen. These small goals remind me that a single binge day with 3000 mg sodium sets back my progress by a week or more. I know what causes me to binge, and I avoid it. When I imagine having a delightful limited time item at the house, such as my daughter's german chocolate cake this week, I calculate mentally that the agony of re-losing the weight isn't worth the agony of gaining it any way. This seems to be helping me stay on track

    Thats a great goal and congrats on your progress. A gal at work told me to pick a 5k and shell do it with me. I dont run right now and the thought honestly scares me for some reason. I have always hated running and since working out i havent tried it out except when my trainer has had me run here and there in my workout. I always tend to make weight goals like awarding myself with something for each 10lbs down to keep me motivated. It helps a bit but only so much. Yes i think about things for sure before eating them now. Yeah if i eat something high sodium it takes me about 3 days to get rid of it and its just not worth it to me right now. Sweets is my thing so that would be hard for me to have those temptations in the house, way to go not giving in.
  • btodd304
    btodd304 Posts: 105 Member
    lorrpb wrote: »
    Good for you for setting a variety of goals. My fitness accomplishments have kept me motivated in the kitchen for 2 yrs & 140 lb loss (301 to 161, goal 150) it can be hard to set fitness goals because you can't always predict the time frame. But you can always pick what you want to work on next...push ups, running, new exercises, steps, 5 more lb dumbell or barbell, etc. I aslo like kitchen goals like new foods, new recipes, etc. Just got a spiralizer & love it! Small goals do help keep you motivated & you need lots of ongoing motivation for a successful journey.

    Thats awesome,congrats on you journey. That's almost exactly where i need to be my goal is 300 to 175 then see where i want to go from there. In order to not be overweight even i would have to be i think 156lbs i dont ever remember weighing that so it would be new for me. Yes thats why i have a hard time making goals because i dont want to feel discouraged if i dont meet the goal. I had a goal last week to be a certain weight and i lost 4lbs but didnt make it to where i wanted and that was discouraging to me.
  • btodd304
    btodd304 Posts: 105 Member
    ziggy2006 wrote: »
    When I lost my weight, my goals were about behaviors that would help me to achieve my goals. They were small, achievable, and addressed any areas I felt were areas in which I could improve. So, depending on where you are at, it might be incorporating more activity, or trying a new activity. It could be packing and bringing healthy lunches to work. It might be finding and preparing 2 new healthy meals this week. Perhaps a goal of exercising for a targeted number of minutes, or walking a particular distance. Maybe logging your food and/or water for X number of days this week/month.

    I did not set goals involving losing X pounds in Y time. I had done that in the past, and found it led me to focus too much on something that was not fully in my control, and was a distraction from the things I actually needed to be doing to make sure I was successful.

    Yeah right now I workout 5 times a week, 3 with a trainer and 2 at home. I meal prep and bring all my meals and snacks to work. I havent been that best at logging my food and water so ill probably make that a goal. I am way too into how much i weigh but ive tried to get away from worrying about it too much and i cant i have always been that way and it can be discouraging but I think its just how I am. Thanks for the advice
  • Meganthedogmom
    Meganthedogmom Posts: 1,639 Member
    dwntwn5 wrote: »
    It's silly but I have a calendar and every day use either a green or red marker to mark the day, depending on if I stay within my calorie limit or not. Then, at the end of each month I add up the green marks and the weight lost. The marking sounds silly because it's not a facial or a pair of shoes, but it totally works for me. If I'm thinking about having a glass of wine that doesn't fit into my day, I often stop so I can get the green mark.

    I like this! I've been struggling really bad to stay in a deficit and lose these last 20lbs. I think I'll try something similar :)

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