Is my boyfriend being supportive, or just controlling of my diet? Healthy, or no?

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mochicakes92
mochicakes92 Posts: 48 Member
in Chit-Chat
Long story short, I am very broke and have a tight food budget every month. I can't take my boyfriend grocery shopping with me because he is a snob about everything that is within my budget range, and he doesn't seem to understand that I have a tight budget range. I'll pick up a generic brand thing for my lunch the next week that doesn't have a lot of calories, sugar, sodium, etc, but he will look at the brand and say "This is *kitten*, WHY do you want to eat this?" in front of everyone at the store. I say "Well I mean not really, look at the ingredients and the nutrition" and he says "But it has this ingredient in that I can't pronounce so you shouldn't eat it." Like, literally. If I disregard him and buy it anyways he gets SO mad that he throws a tantrum and says "WHATEVER, I am just trying to help you!" I don't see it as being helpful anymore. Like sure, I want to lose weight, but he refuses to even acknowledge that I have lost weight plenty of times and know what I am doing. He also refuses to exercise or go to the gym with me, but puts me down for eating a food that may have *GASP* a preservative in it. I seriously need help. I can't tell if he is being supportive or if he is just being controlling.

I'm sure that some of you guys are really into healthy eating, but do you go to the extent of trying to control what the people in your life eat? Do you spend a lot of time worrying? Is it normal?
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  • mochicakes92
    mochicakes92 Posts: 48 Member
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    HA, sorry, just realized that I put some swear words in there and MFP automatically changes those to "kitten" ;) Forgive me.
  • mochicakes92
    mochicakes92 Posts: 48 Member
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    _incogNEATo_ wrote: »
    jacqlynn_pvlr wrote: »
    Long story short, I need to break up with my boyfriend.

    FIFY

    That would make me homeless for at least a little bit, but sure I'll get right on that. I just can't tell if this is a battle worth fighting, or if his concerns are legitimate. I have major body and self esteem issues, so it's hard for me to tell if I am just being a fatass who eats *kitten* and he is trying to help me, or if he is being a control freak.
  • Pipsg1rl
    Pipsg1rl Posts: 1,414 Member
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    I see you are pretty young. How long have you been with this guy? Are there other things you do that he doesn't like you to do? -- Him commenting like that makes me concerned for your emotional health.

    I'm not a psych, but yes, the side we hear from you does sound like he's controlling. You don't mention what he eats like or how he helps you feed yourself.
  • mochicakes92
    mochicakes92 Posts: 48 Member
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    Pipsg1rl wrote: »
    I see you are pretty young. How long have you been with this guy? Are there other things you do that he doesn't like you to do? -- Him commenting like that makes me concerned for your emotional health.

    I'm not a psych, but yes, the side we hear from you does sound like he's controlling. You don't mention what he eats like or how he helps you feed yourself.

    He goes all day without eating anything most of the time. I have to remind him to eat.
  • Dannigreen31
    Dannigreen31 Posts: 557 Member
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    He does sound a bit controlling
    If my boyfriend ever said that he would get told where to go, in front of everyone!
    Just tell him straight. You eat what you can and he shuts up
  • williammuney
    williammuney Posts: 2,895 Member
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    You live with him and you don't combine resources for groceries?
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
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    I understand the living situation makes things tough. I'm still going to recommend finding a solution for that soon.

    What happens if you stand up to him? What happens if you science the kitten out him and his woo food nonsense?
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
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    Looking at your small profile pic, you look no where near fat.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    It sounds like he drank some douchey kool aid. I'm just not sure what kind.
  • mochicakes92
    mochicakes92 Posts: 48 Member
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    williammuney wrote: »
    You live with him and you don't combine resources for groceries?

    He'll buy like absolutely nothing for stuff we can make at home, or stuff that i can bring with me when I'm at school/work for 8+ hours of the day. So I like to have my own food at the house so that I don't have to rely on his and his mom's resources too much.
  • williammuney
    williammuney Posts: 2,895 Member
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    Imo if he can't afford to feed you he can't afford the kitten....
  • NEOHgirl
    NEOHgirl Posts: 237 Member
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    It sounds controlling - if he were being supportive, he wouldn't try to shame you in front of everyone at the store. The fact that you are dependent on him for housing at this point makes that even more troublesome. Only you can decide if you can deal with this, but from the outside, it appears to be manipulative, and a giant red flag warning against him being able to handle a real stress or crisis point in a mature, supportive manner. Good luck.
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
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    Sounds to me like he's not being supportive at all, especially if he's throwing tantrums over YOUR food choices. It almost sounds like he's just picking a fight and being controlling. How old is he?? Also, preservatives are not the devil.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    Is going to kick in some money and help you buy his "approved" foods? If not, tell him to kick rocks and shut up!!

    I wouldn't say controlling he sounds like a self righteous "kitten"
  • duckforceone
    duckforceone Posts: 121 Member
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    wow he sounds controlling and a big douche...

    stick up for yourself, tell him it is your money, and you do not need his help for this.
    or tell him to show you the real research he bases his criterias on... because if things were that bad as he says, why would they be allowed to be sold?

    but basically, it sounds like you need to start looking for a better place to live.
  • Pipsg1rl
    Pipsg1rl Posts: 1,414 Member
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    How does he treat his mom? Does she also speak to you the same way? Does she feed him and not include you?

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