My Weightloss Makes People Angry...& That Makes me Happy! :-D

Cutemesoon · May 2016

So I’ve lost a lot of weight and for the most part, people are very happy for me. Those who have not seen me in a long time are shocked by my weight loss. Many who see me ask what I did to lose the weight. I tell them diet & exercise. Some of them look at me like, “Yeah right.” Or “Ok but what else.” In their minds, I’ve lost waaayyyy to much weight. Lately I’ve been getting comments like, “Ooohhh. You lost SO MUCH weight!” I say thank you. Then they throw in, “You need to STOP now!!!” Or they will go out of their way to stop me and say, “So you’re going to stop losing weight now, right? But the interesting thing is that there is such anger and force behind their opinion.

This leads me to ponder over the following questions:

1. What makes people think I give a rats behind about their opinion of MY body???
2. Who determines what should be classified as “too skinny?”
3. Would people be offended if I told them to stop what they’re doing because they’re getting
too fat?
4. Why you mad tho??? Lol. In other words, why does my weight loss bother you?

I didn’t let the comments get to me at first but now I’m hearing these kinds of comments very regularly. I’m at the point now where I want to be mean when people make rude comments. If someone says, “stop losing weight” I’m going to say, “why don’t you START!”

Also, when people make these comments it makes me want to lose even more weight just to piss them off even more!

Have any of you had this or something similar happen to you? If so, how did you deal with it?

2011rocket3touring · May 2016

Bear in mind they are speaking from a position of ignorance. Just as you wouldn't get mad at a child, you shouldn't get mad at them even though they choose ignorance.

KetoneKaren · May 2016

Yes, and they are the same people who have a smug expression on their faces when I regained. I recommend not wasting a single second of your life on people who want you to fail.

zyxst · May 2016

No because I still look very fat and flabby. If anyone did, I'd give them the middle finger. They don't know me or my health.

andiegolf · May 2016

Maybe they are not angry, maybe they are worried about your health. Losing weight can get addictive and lead some people to not realize they are losing too much.
Maybe you should try and understand why they are saying that. Ask them... ?
My husband lost too much weight, everyone thinks he is sick but no one dares say anything. He looks ten years older and has become very unattractive to me. He gets very angry at me when I say anything. Which makes me think he is addicted to losing weight, having this control over his body. He also thinks people are just jealous of him but we are just worried.
Hope you find a solution, that leads you to a more peaceful set of mind.

CaptainPepperJack · May 2016

Sorry you are going through this, it is exasperating. I have been through it too. I lost 30 lbs originally through Weight Watchers when I was 18, and people started to panic, even WW threatened to throw me out of the program for being underweight, which I was only like 1 lb under goal. People said I didn't need to work out or diet, because I was too skinny - often with harsh voices. Now, years later, I've lost 25 lbs that I needed to lose, and not one person has said anything to me about it in real life. It makes me feel like people avoid the issue because they are jealous or insecure.

Cutemesoon · May 2016

@2011rocket3touring Does being ignorant excuse meanness? @KetoneKaren I agree. @zyxst I shall start giving them the finger :-D @andiegolf I'm FAR from too thin. I'm a size 8. @CleanSlate2015 Don't you hate people to take their insecurities out on you!?!

ForMe2No · May 2016

Happens to me all the time now. I don't let it get to me. I don't think all of them are jealous. I think some of them are jealous, some are a little envious, some are genuinely happy for you and simply saying you look good right where you are (their opinion) and some think you look/or are sick and don't want to actually say you look sick. Truth is sometimes I see myself and feel I look a little sick or strange or funny. I'm not finished I'm still considered overweight for my height so I want to lose about 25 more pounds or so but I'm also strength training and toning so I think I understand where they are coming from. So the more time that passes the more I feel like they will adjust to my new body just like I need time to adjust to it. Especially if you have lost a lot of weight in a fairly short time.

Also, personally, I feel I can tell the comments that are coming out of each category. At the end of the day I am a much happier person and so most of the negative comments just don't even give me pause to respond.

2011rocket3touring · May 2016

Cutemesoon wrote: »

@2011rocket3touring Does being ignorant excuse meanness?

Absolutely not, though I think ForMe2No put it best: "I think some of them are jealous, some are a little envious,..." you did something to better yourself and they are unwilling to.

a_candler · May 2016

I got comments like this too. I reminded people that I am not too skinny. It's just that they've never seen me this small and they're not used to it.

BenKnowsFitness · May 2016

Weight loss or gain is an experience for everyone involved. I've watched it play out on MFP for 5 years.

Cutemesoon · May 2016

a_candler wrote: »

I got comments like this too. I reminded people that I am not too skinny. It's just that they've never seen me this small and they're not used to it.

I totally understand. I've NEVER been this thin in my teen or adult years. Skinny is relative to some folks. When I was a US size 12 people told me to stop losing weight. *Confused face*

leilbobeil · May 2016

I haven't gotten to the point where people are doing this to me, but my brother-in-law, who is 19, has also been on a weight loss journey. I have been encouraging because I think it is great that he is doing what I couldn't do at his age. The other day we were at a family gathering and his grandmother started in on the "you need to stop, you are getting to skinny" rant and I just cut her off, looked him the eye and told him that I think he looks great and should be proud. I couldn't care less if people ever think I am "too skinny" but to try and hinder the progress of someone with a lot of insecurities, especially who is a loved one, that rubs me the wrong way. I don't know if maybe people think they are complementing you by saying you should stop and you're already skinny enough, but its not their place, unless they are a licensed physician, specifically your physician, it's not their place.

McCloud33 · May 2016

Had this exact thing happen to me when I got down below 170. Which was kind of ironic because technically for my height/weight, I was overweight on the BMI scale.

For the most part I just ignored them because I knew what I was going for and that I wasn't "too" skinny. I'm bulking back up now trying to add muscle, but I'll probably go on a cut again. It was really hard for me to maintain down at that weight.

Cutemesoon · May 2016

@McCloud33 You look AMAZING!!! I too am still considered overweight. I'm cutting right now. Damn this stubborn belly fat!

After I lose another few lbs, I'm going to bulk. People don't realize that I started out with one goal. I met it but then made a new one. I'll probably always be working on something. I'm NOT going to explain myself to them. When I mention wanting to work on my belly ( I RARELY mention it btw. Plus, I only say it to those close to me) I'm told that I have no belly fat. I must be doing a great job of hiding it then. Congrats on your transformation!!!

Cutemesoon · May 2016

@leilbobeil It's great that your B-I-L has you to stick up for him! :-D

Yoles79 · May 2016

Yes I have lost a lot in the past and received jealous comments. As long as you are healthy that's all that matters.

McCloud33 · May 2016

Thanks @cutemesoon I'm back up to around 187 right now. Even at 168 I still had belly fat. Would have had to drop another 10-15lbs to really have visible six pack. My initial goal was 185 and I hit that in about 4-5 months. Then I started lifting and now it's much more about strength and appearance than any given weight. I've been going for 2.5 years now.

happygalah · May 2016

I'm always amazed at the gall of people to think they even have the right to comment on your body at all! It's none of their bleep business

2011rocket3touring · May 2016

@McCloud33 - Amazing transformation! Your not even recognizable!

JinjoJoey · May 2016

I haven't really had anyone act angry. But, I have had people tell me I'm too skinny now. I'm not. I'm 195lbs at 5'10". People just aren't used to seeing me this thin. I was 276lbs last October, so it's a bit of a shock to them to see me 80lbs thinner.

tihi18 · May 2016

It's amazing to me people assume people are jealous... My mom told my sister to stop losing weight and I had to assure her it was fine and it was healthy for my 5'5 sister to weigh 135 pounds. If people aren't used to seeing you this way you look too skinny or sick to them. Its not always about jealousy people. Also some people love it so much they go too far so sometimes people are concerned... I guess people can't be concerned if they themselves are fat???

MsKeelah919 · May 2016

a_candler wrote: »

I got comments like this too. I reminded people that I am not too skinny. It's just that they've never seen me this small and they're not used to it.

I can see this. People have a "you" in mind...when you are much smaller than that, you probably mess with their view of reality.

girl_inflames · May 2016

I actually get constantly told "you don't even need to lose weight" or "what fat" ...a little different but the negativity still feels like it's there. I'm just doing what I want for my body. I carry my weight differently than someone of my weight and height perhaps that makes me not look like I weigh as much as I do but in my opinion I'm still overweight. Until I'm happy with my body, I'll keep trying.

haliirae5 · May 2016

I personally lost a friend over my weight loss.

she said I was sick and it was all in my head. And it wasn't I just have to watch what I eat and I keep track of my calorie intake .

rabblescum · May 2016

It might be actual concern not jealously or "haters". As a teen I got so annoyed at people making similar comments. I wasn't too skinny in my opinion. I was still fat in my head. Years later looking back at pictures I came realize I had taken it too far. I looked sick. It isn't that uncommon for people''s view of themselves to be distorted and they don't see they have taken it too far.
Might be a good idea to not assume everyone in the world is hateful and jealous of you. You might end up losing friends that truly care about you and are brave enough to say things you might not want to hear. Have some patience with people, it might be there approach that is flawed not their intentions.

lolo45678 · May 2016

You can say something like "My doctor says I'm doing great - but thanks for your concern!"

There will always be people who 1. Genuinely cannot be happy for you, or 2. Think they're saying the right thing but don't. Ignore the first group, and have forgiveness for the second.

Darsi_Ajay · May 2016

I also Faced the same situation, EveryDay My frieds asking me when you will stop the DIET because they are fat and they dont want me to look good because iam getting perfect body bur they didnt, That time i just smile and went away. I dont want to tell them "Why you didnt start" because they are matured they have to know by themselves, I want them to feel like this everytime they saw me.

ctalimenti · May 2016

Not sure if you covered this yet but are most of your naysayers overweight? When I started cycling I had a handful of naysayers and they were ALL overweight. AND if they are overweight I doubt they are concerned about your health!

soufauxgirl · May 2016

Who cares what people think or say.

Cutemesoon · May 2016

ctalimenti wrote: »

Not sure if you covered this yet but are most of your naysayers overweight? When I started cycling I had a handful of naysayers and they were ALL overweight. AND if they are overweight I doubt they are concerned about your health!

Actually, YES! Which is why I think it's interesting that some people express anger or faux concern.

My Weightloss Makes People Angry...& That Makes me Happy! :-D

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