My Weightloss Makes People Angry...& That Makes me Happy! :-D

24

Replies

  • ctalimenti
    ctalimenti Posts: 865 Member
    Cutemesoon wrote: »
    ctalimenti wrote: »
    Not sure if you covered this yet but are most of your naysayers overweight? When I started cycling I had a handful of naysayers and they were ALL overweight. AND if they are overweight I doubt they are concerned about your health!

    Actually, YES! Which is why I think it's interesting that some people express anger or faux concern.

    Agreed!

  • dfranch
    dfranch Posts: 207 Member
    I had people do the same when I was losing weight. The best part was the people who would talk to my friends behind my back and tell them I needed to stop losing weight. My friends would tell me about it and we'd laugh.
  • Cutemesoon
    Cutemesoon Posts: 2,646 Member
    @JeromeBarry1 That's awesome! Continue to inspire people :-)
  • Cutemesoon
    Cutemesoon Posts: 2,646 Member
    dfranch wrote: »
    I had people do the same when I was losing weight. The best part was the people who would talk to my friends behind my back and tell them I needed to stop losing weight. My friends would tell me about it and we'd laugh.
    OMG!!!! That happens to me too!!! People will go ask my friends when am I going to stop losing weight. My friend always lets them know that it is MY decision & I will stop when I am ready.
  • howekaren
    howekaren Posts: 159 Member
    Keep in mind that most people equate large weight loss with illness. My BIL had undiagnosed diabetes and lost a lot of weight (while continually said he wasn't losing any nor ill). Now that he has a diagnosis, he's regained some and looks healthier. Most people's comments were sincere concerns for his health. Even if they don't feel you're sick, it's a well studied phenomenon that subconsciously they'e equating your losses with illness and it makes them uncomfortable.
  • Cutemesoon
    Cutemesoon Posts: 2,646 Member
    edited May 2016
    @howekaren Everyone commenting on my weight loss knows that I've been dieting & exercising for the past 2.5 yrs. So there's no reason to think that I'm ill. It's been a conscientious effort to lose weight. But it could be the case for others if they experience rapid weight loss. @megemrj I've noticed that about people as well. For some people, (NOT all) your weight loss makes them reflect on their weight. It may make them feel bad that you're successful at something they've been trying to do for years.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    lolo45678 wrote: »
    You can say something like "My doctor says I'm doing great - but thanks for your concern!"

    There will always be people who 1. Genuinely cannot be happy for you, or 2. Think they're saying the right thing but don't. Ignore the first group, and have forgiveness for the second.

    Yes, I'd toss down the Voice of Authority card.
  • Cutemesoon
    Cutemesoon Posts: 2,646 Member
    edited May 2016
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    lolo45678 wrote: »
    You can say something like "My doctor says I'm doing great - but thanks for your concern!"

    Yes, I'd toss down the Voice of Authority card.

    I've used this b4 & was told that the Drs. don't know what they are talking about & I should ignore them. :/
  • JaneSnowe
    JaneSnowe Posts: 1,283 Member
    Cutemesoon wrote: »
    ctalimenti wrote: »
    Not sure if you covered this yet but are most of your naysayers overweight? When I started cycling I had a handful of naysayers and they were ALL overweight. AND if they are overweight I doubt they are concerned about your health!

    Actually, YES! Which is why I think it's interesting that some people express anger or faux concern.

    Have you heard of crabs in a bucket? From what you have described throughout this thread, that's my guess.

    Sorry you have to deal with them. I hope you have other people in your life who are happy for you!
  • JaneSnowe
    JaneSnowe Posts: 1,283 Member
    JinjoJoey wrote: »
    I think a large percentage of the time, it tends to be women and I don't mean to generalize, but I've worked in so many office and retail environments where the women were just, downright, nasty to each other. I've never heard men at my places of employment or in my large circle of friends talk behind each other's backs or make such awful snide comments as I've heard from the females. Again, I'm not saying all females, but in my experience, that's what it's always been. I never hear dudes being like, OMG, did you see how awful he looks... he's losing too much weight, he's such a loser, can you believe that guy... etc...

    I don't know if it's something that's happened in our culture in the last 20 years or so, but it's something I've, personally, noticed a lot. Every woman I've worked with or had in a friends circle acts jealous of her own shadow. I'm certainly not pointing fingers at any women here because this forum community seems to have the most accepting people I've ever seen. Maybe that's cause we all know the struggle and have decided you shouldn't judge people or keep your awful thoughts to yourself.

    Is your field of employment very competitive, or one that was traditionally a man's field? I ask because I've heard others say similar things as you have here, but as a woman I've never in my life encountered such a working environment. It makes me curious why some are like that and I theorize that perhaps some women cut each other down to get some type of advantage or edge.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    haha, been there. They are jealous of your success. laugh and smile XD
  • Cutemesoon
    Cutemesoon Posts: 2,646 Member
    JaneSnowe wrote: »
    Have you heard of crabs in a bucket? From what you have described throughout this thread, that's my guess.
    Sorry you have to deal with them. I hope you have other people in your life who are happy for you!

    Yes. I've heard of it. I'm one of those crazy people that thinks that if we're all in a bucket we don't wanna be in, why can't we just help each other out?

  • JaneSnowe
    JaneSnowe Posts: 1,283 Member
    Cutemesoon wrote: »
    JaneSnowe wrote: »
    Have you heard of crabs in a bucket? From what you have described throughout this thread, that's my guess.
    Sorry you have to deal with them. I hope you have other people in your life who are happy for you!

    Yes. I've heard of it. I'm one of those crazy people that thinks that if we're all in a bucket we don't wanna be in, why can't we just help each other out?

    I know what you mean. Sadly, there are some people that feel like others' success reflects poorly on them and so they try to undermine it. I don't believe this happens on a conscious level.
  • JinjoJoey
    JinjoJoey Posts: 106 Member
    JaneSnowe wrote: »
    JinjoJoey wrote: »
    I think a large percentage of the time, it tends to be women and I don't mean to generalize, but I've worked in so many office and retail environments where the women were just, downright, nasty to each other. I've never heard men at my places of employment or in my large circle of friends talk behind each other's backs or make such awful snide comments as I've heard from the females. Again, I'm not saying all females, but in my experience, that's what it's always been. I never hear dudes being like, OMG, did you see how awful he looks... he's losing too much weight, he's such a loser, can you believe that guy... etc...

    I don't know if it's something that's happened in our culture in the last 20 years or so, but it's something I've, personally, noticed a lot. Every woman I've worked with or had in a friends circle acts jealous of her own shadow. I'm certainly not pointing fingers at any women here because this forum community seems to have the most accepting people I've ever seen. Maybe that's cause we all know the struggle and have decided you shouldn't judge people or keep your awful thoughts to yourself.

    Is your field of employment very competitive, or one that was traditionally a man's field? I ask because I've heard others say similar things as you have here, but as a woman I've never in my life encountered such a working environment. It makes me curious why some are like that and I theorize that perhaps some women cut each other down to get some type of advantage or edge.

    No, not dominated by men, but a few places had large percentages of woman, working in small office environments, maybe that led to tension, I don't know. But, it always brings me back to thinking about high school. I couldn't even tell you a time any of the boys were mad at each other. But, I can sure remember Becky not talking to Julie or Sarah being mad at Amy, etc... Lol. I don't know, maybe it's just been my experience, but everywhere I've ever gone, I've seen cat fighting, but never with men.
  • McCarty44
    McCarty44 Posts: 3 Member
    it cause of jealousy most of people are unable to to keep discipline on dieting and exercises,thus they feel left out and the arrogant in them cant accept that,i also lost a bunch of friends because i lost weight and to them it was difficult even for an inch to loose thus feeling bad that i have a more sexy body than them,let them be
  • PamelaW41
    PamelaW41 Posts: 287 Member
    Cutemesoon wrote: »
    @PamelaW41 That's so sad. Why can't people just be happy when someone achieves a goal? Someone told me to "stop doing what I'm doing to see what my body does." Ummm...what? If I stopped doing what I'm doing, I'd gain the weight back!

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    Exactly! I wonder why people can't just be happy too. They dont realize we already know what our bodies will do if we stop....the same thing they did before we started!!! SMH
  • megemrj
    megemrj Posts: 547 Member
    @jinjojoey

    I've experienced this recently and can't tell you why. I'm not wired that way. I consider my friends true friends. I will not talk bad about them, period. I expect the same in return and have ZERO tolerance if they do.

    Maybe one of the reasons the big mouths won't say it to my face. They do not like me angry.
  • JinjoJoey
    JinjoJoey Posts: 106 Member
    @megemrj

    Yeah, it's weird. Like I said, I'm certainly not saying all women are like this, but damn, I've encountered it a lot in my life. :s
  • vickiessecret
    vickiessecret Posts: 119 Member
    I'm sure I'll get those comment once I start to lose a large amount. Everyone I know hasn't seen me at normal weight, I've been 100lbs overweight basically for the last 8 years, Had 5 babies in under 8 years, my oldest will be 8 in September and my youngest is just 4 months. So I need to lose122lbs to get to my very first pre pregnancy weight. Maybe these people aren't used to seeing you at the weight your at now..? So they think you look to thin...I'd take it as a compliment...do what make you happy, weight loss should be for you, so as long as your happy and feeling good, screw them! Lol.. I'd ask them why they think your too thin & see what they say :)
  • vickiessecret
    vickiessecret Posts: 119 Member
    Just read the above comment..Lol. Maybe they are just jealous and don't want to see you do better for yourself :/
  • Cutemesoon
    Cutemesoon Posts: 2,646 Member
    sllm1 wrote: »
    All. The. Time.

    Sometimes I say, "Yeah, I look awesome in my clothes right now but I also want to look great naked."

    I'm a very reserved person, so it definitely shocks them into shutting up.

    Lol. That's what I'm trying to do as well! I made the mistake of telling someone that I wanted to work on my stomach. They told me to give it up because its too hard & not possible. In my head I was thinking that it's too hard for them because they are lazy and not willing to work for it! #TheNerve

  • rakowskidp
    rakowskidp Posts: 231 Member
    Regarding the OP... wow! I can't imagine getting angry at someone for losing weight and getting in shape!

    I've gotten two different reactions to my weight loss:
    1) are you sick?!? (people who can't imagine working hard and/or denying themselves anything they want)
    2) AWESOME! You look great! How'd you do it?

    Obviously, I prefer #2!
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