Frustrated With Outside Opinions
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BrooklynApple88 wrote: »So, today I walked into my relative's home and someone asked me what I ate today. I said, "Pizza." So then I had to hear a whole speech about how I need to stay away from pizza because it's so fattening and greasy. Then I also had to hear about green juices, vegetable soup, and making homemade potato chips to "cut all the grease and fat out."
I said, " Trust me, I'm doing fine. I made sure I had enough calories to enjoy a greasy slice of pizza." Then they went on about how I need to cut pizza out completely and eat fruits and vegetables. I need to drink this type of milk, cut out this, add this, this vegetable is good for the blood, no Chinese food, eat fast food once a month, blah, blah. I'm so annoyed. People are really uneducated about what it takes to lose weight. I loathe the restrictive attitude. If I ate like what they suggested, then I'd end up bored and unsuccessful. They noticed the 45 pounds I've lost in 8 months, but still give their unsolicited advice. Sigh. They just don't get it.
i get your point...everybody knows better. it happens all the time. deep down they think they are helping. just keep doing what you are doing....and say thank you to the advice givers ;-)0 -
My dad says the same thing when I tell him I've eaten bacon "Kaitlin! That's so high in fat! You won't lose weight if you eat too much fat." K dad. I just say "thanks for the advice!" It's hard to be rude in those situations because the advice is well-meaning & sometimes it's hard not to second guess yourself, but just stick with what you're doing.... The best is when you can say "I've lost weight & didn't give up pizza!"4
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jennifer_417 wrote: »This is the exact reason I never really talked about what I was doing to lose weight. Errbody got an opinion. I figured I'd let my results speak for themselves. But I realize that there are times when it's unavoidable, and those times I just nod and smile, and make noncommittal noises.
*chuckling at keyboard* @ "make noncommittal noises. It's so true.
People like that don't want to be educated about weight loss, or anything. They just want to hear themselves talk. Best not to engage, OP.5 -
There are two kinds of people:
1. The ones that think that because the media says so. These are the ones that you can have a conversation with and kindly let them know it's not so hard as to have to cut out pizza and instead have kale juice for dinner
2. The ones that need an excuse. These are the ones you cannot have a conversation with because they will adamantly claim that food is evil and we must go to extreme measures to be healthy. Because there's no way that one could be a healthy weight by eating normal food. Because then it would be their own fault that they are or were overweight. And we humans have no faults. So, by default, it must be that food is to blame, and we have to work hard in order to achieve a good, healthy state of being.
They strike me as the latter. So, the convo would have gone something like this:
"Mm ... Uh-huh ... Yeah .... Ohhh ... Wow ... Hmm ... Well I've lost 45 pounds eating the exact opposite of what you said, with half that effort, aaaaand I enjoy what I eat. So I'll continue to do that. But, uh, you go ahead and continue with *waves hand dramatically around kitchen* alllll this. It seems to be working sooo well for you". *Drops mic* *tosses hair* *strides out of kitchen like a boss*
lol don't let it bug you too much. You are doing amazing, so just keep doing what you're doing, and let them make things way too hard. Congrats on your loss so far!17 -
WifiresGettingFit wrote: »The only opinion that matters is yours.
I'm the type of person that I get tired of crap like that so I'm liable to say something and it probably will not come out all nice and polite.
Also, my reply to "what did you eat today?" would have been "Food." and the subject gets changed. What I eat or don't eat is no one's business and is not up for a debate. I also don't have the patience for it.
I'm that type of person too! Some times when people kept trying to give me unsolicited advice and suggest many things, I'd let them speak and say what I had to say. They often disagreed and I would just end it by saying, "what I'm doing is working just fine. Let's move on."
A few occasions, I had to physically leave the room because they would get so defensive about their weird fad diet and I didn't want to say "rude" things.
Edit: I lost 70 lbs by this time last year. I'm maintaining and in great shape. I'll keep doing what I've been doing!
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When people think it's okay to rudely stick their noses in my business and try to tell me how to run my life, I think it's equally okay for me to rudely tell them to pound sand up their *kitten* and mind their own business in return. Fair is fair.
an ex taught me the "pound sand" expression. It was the best thing to come out of that relationship. I say it (or think it at people) all the time. Unsolicited advice regarding my life often gets leads to a "pound sand" comment.
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WifiresGettingFit wrote: »The only opinion that matters is yours.
I'm the type of person that I get tired of crap like that so I'm liable to say something and it probably will not come out all nice and polite.
Also, my reply to "what did you eat today?" would have been "Food." and the subject gets changed. What I eat or don't eat is no one's business and is not up for a debate. I also don't have the patience for it.
"Food." Perfect. My mom would answer with noncommittal things to questions. That sounds like something she would say.
For instance when I was a kid if I asked her, "Where are you going?" She would reply with, "Going crazy." Lol.0 -
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Heh. "You wanna know what I ate, join MyFitnessPal, friend me, and you can see my diary and maybe learn some good eating tips, too."7
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healthykaitlin wrote: »My dad says the same thing when I tell him I've eaten bacon "Kaitlin! That's so high in fat! You won't lose weight if you eat too much fat." K dad. I just say "thanks for the advice!" It's hard to be rude in those situations because the advice is well-meaning & sometimes it's hard not to second guess yourself, but just stick with what you're doing.... The best is when you can say "I've lost weight & didn't give up pizza!"
This is such a great way to address the situation! Sometimes saying "none of your business" is easier said than done, and it can be a little rude if you're talking to family or friends who might honestly be trying to help. There are ways to divert those kinds of questions in a more polite way (like the above).
I wish I could say I've never lied about what I eat but with certain people I do, like my mom. She's definitely of the mindset that I "can't" eat all sorts of things, but I also understand her viewpoint because she knows how many times I've failed as losing weight. So when she asks what I had for dinner, I might say "Chicken and veggies" when the actual answer is "BBQ chicken pizza." It just prevents any judgmental comments and awkwardness/ hurt feelings/ arguments as a result.
With most people I just say "Different things work for different people. For me, moderating works better than restricting and banning." Plus phrasing it that way, idk, I guess maybe it sounds like a more well-informed comment than "I can eat whatever I want!" If I use words like "moderation" and "restriction" people seem to have less comments afterwards than if I say something that's more defensive or if I totally blow them off.3 -
My mother in law and sister in law come up in my house bickering in front of me about why I shouldn't be lifting weights. (My bench is in my dining room). So mother in law says I shouldn't be trying to lift the heavy weights because "I'm no man", and men like ladies"
Sister in law says She doesn't even believe I know what to do with "those things? (The weights). I'm just standing there baffled as to who asked them anything? My mil is petite probably around 4 ft 11, 105-110 pounds.
I had enough of their foolishness so I stood by mother in law bent down and grabbed her by the legs and squatted. She starts hollering to put her down and am I crazy?
I put her down so she could get her breath and continue "clutching her pearls" lmao! Sister in law stood there trying to console her mom whilst telling me I should stop showing off.
They left me alone for the rest of their visit and stfu about the weights.
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I will never forget the day I received a phone call (at 11 years old) from my grandmother informing me that
1. I should eat cheerios instead of pizza
2. My sister had back fat
People will always give you unwanted advice because they all know better than you do (according to them). You've got a few choices: suck it up and say nothing and get upset, tell them you're not interested in talking about your diet, tell them it's none of your business, or simply don't talk to those people about dieting.
Your progress is amazing and you will keep going! Ignore the haters and continue being fabulous 2 -
stephinator92 wrote: »I will never forget the day I received a phone call (at 11 years old) from my grandmother informing me that
1. I should eat cheerios instead of pizza
2. My sister had back fat
People will always give you unwanted advice because they all know better than you do (according to them). You've got a few choices: suck it up and say nothing and get upset, tell them you're not interested in talking about your diet, tell them it's none of your business, or simply don't talk to those people about dieting.
Your progress is amazing and you will keep going! Ignore the haters and continue being fabulous
That's terrible! I'm sorry your grandmother did that. I'm sure she had your best interests at heart--I hope anyway--but there's much better ways to show it or to support a preteen.0 -
ummijaaz560 wrote: »My mother in law and sister in law come up in my house bickering in front of me about why I shouldn't be lifting weights. (My bench is in my dining room). So mother in law says I shouldn't be trying to lift the heavy weights because "I'm no man", and men like ladies"
Sister in law says She doesn't even believe I know what to do with "those things? (The weights). I'm just standing there baffled as to who asked them anything? My mil is petite probably around 4 ft 11, 105-110 pounds.
I had enough of their foolishness so I stood by mother in law bent down and grabbed her by the legs and squatted. She starts hollering to put her down and am I crazy?
I put her down so she could get her breath and continue "clutching her pearls" lmao! Sister in law stood there trying to console her mom whilst telling me I should stop showing off.
They left me alone for the rest of their visit and stfu about the weights.
Oh my goodness! That's amazing!!!
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I like to take the skeptic's route. Memorize the following question:
"Really? How do you know that?"
1. It forces them to reveal that they haven't got their information from reliable sources (or at least opens their sources up for you to question, like "Parenting Magazine is not reliable for health and wellness information mom"), and you can point that out to them if you so desire.
2. If they have no source (which is my guess, cause people LOVE to talk but don't love to research) continue repeating the aforementioned question until someone's eyes bleed. Or feel free to educate them on why it's not a great idea believing things they just heard somewhere for which there is no evidence or for which they personally have not sought evidence. If you don't feel like being that antagonistic, you can always just not respond to whatever nonsense they come up with to defend their zero evidence belief that pizza causes inability to lose weight. Chances are, they will know without you saying it aloud that they sound ridiculous trying to explain that.
3. It's a really non-antagonistic (if you don't antagonize after asking the question like in steps one or two) way of challenging what they are telling you without challenging them on a personal level. You can just ask the question, say "Oh, hmmmm..." to whatever their response is and walk away. 90% of the time, they won't offer you unsolicited advice again because now they're afraid you'll ask them to back it up and they know darn well they can't, and no one on the planet *wants* to look stupid.
ETA:
4. In all due fairness to the people making the claim, the question may also lead to a really good answer. You could learn something. It's not automatically gonna turn out negative3 -
Those who are making the comments are uneducated and very discourteous. Actually you know what you're doing, stick to the plan, and just put those comments on ignore. Keep up the great work don't let the comments get you down.0
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Smile and nod, and stay smug in the knowledge that you know what you're doing.0
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Smile and nod, and stay smug in the knowledge that you know what you're doing.0
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Thanks, everyone! I just have to focus.2
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Colleagues do that to me, but not for eating pizza, for eating salads! I'm constantly made fun off and told to "eat proper food". I used to let it get to me but now I just pity them.0
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ummijaaz560 wrote: »My mother in law and sister in law come up in my house bickering in front of me about why I shouldn't be lifting weights. (My bench is in my dining room). So mother in law says I shouldn't be trying to lift the heavy weights because "I'm no man", and men like ladies"
Sister in law says She doesn't even believe I know what to do with "those things? (The weights). I'm just standing there baffled as to who asked them anything? My mil is petite probably around 4 ft 11, 105-110 pounds.
I had enough of their foolishness so I stood by mother in law bent down and grabbed her by the legs and squatted. She starts hollering to put her down and am I crazy?
I put her down so she could get her breath and continue "clutching her pearls" lmao! Sister in law stood there trying to console her mom whilst telling me I should stop showing off.
They left me alone for the rest of their visit and stfu about the weights.
You are my hero! 0 -
I work very hard at losing and maintaining my weight. I'm always criticized at work for not eating the bagels, pizza or other junk lying around. They say "you're skinny so you can eat it". What they don't understand is that it doesn't fit into my calorie goals and that i work out and monitor my calorie intake. I bank my calories to enjoy those foods on the weekend when I'm being social. I don't want to waste them for work. I'm not naturally thin and have to work at staying my size.2
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laugh all the way to the scales baby! you are doing great!2
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This is proof of how much misinformation is spread throughout the weight loss and diet industry. It's unfortunate that so many people believe you have to cut out all these foods in order to lose weight. People believe there's no other way to lose weight other than to deprive yourself of the foods you enjoy and to eat as little as possible.
If we could spread better information and get more people to believe it, more people would be successful in losing weight and less people would give up when it's too hard and "nothing works".0 -
Cutemesoon wrote: »CattOfTheGarage wrote: »"I see that what you're doing is succeeding. Let me tell you why it's wrong and you should do it some other way."
Honestly, I'd only go down the "education" route if people are genuinely interested. If they're just lecturing you and it's getting up your nose, try and change the subject.
If people haven't been successful with weight loss, what makes them think they are qualified to give you advice???Someone had the nerve to tell me that I should stop losing weight. They said they observed the way I eat, then proceed to tell me how I should eat. BTW, it was a guy and he looked about 6 months pregnant.
In those situations, the appropriate answer is "If I wanted to look like you, I'd eat like you".
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