Social pressure to gain/overeat.

Hello hello,

In our food & consumer culture, most people can say they've experienced pressure to eat things they didn't want or eat when they were full.

When people see you are healthy looking, visibly underweight, or tell them you are trying to gain, I feel this pressure is more pronounced.

Despite giving enormous attention to managing a tricky digestive condition, I can't get it through to anyone in my support group that I just can't eat like they can or want me to. It can physically makes me sick, anywhere from a churning/sour stomach for 30 minutes, nausea that forces the meal up or prevents another timely meal, fullness that does the same, cause acute or chronic pain, tax my energy until it puts me to sleep, or spur D or C that sometimes isn't resolved for days. They don't have to deal with these symptoms, I do, and they are often a real wrench.*

I've begun to feel like there is no one sympathetic to me having a "day with minimal discomfort" or good energy without being weighed down, especially into the next day. While they don't put weight on me that day, I consider these to be successes as having learned something that can improve the quality of my life.*

It's hurting that it feels there's no one who will share these achievements with me, even the most supportive of my group. In this view, my comfort, well being, and what intuitively feels right or healing in my body is completely insignificant compared to the amount of calories I consume. Dare I say, I feel mechanized. It's a lonesome journey, exaggerated by the "care" others believe they are expressing for my goals. I don't want me to be underweight either, and it is scary*, I get that. Yes, it does seem a lot more simple on the outside.

* (Real life expressions to support group.)

Dear Community,

Have you experienced similar phenomena?

Are there books, articles, or other resources that you find empowering about the quality of your efforts, or useful to helping others understand your condition or their pressures?

How might one empathize better with their concerns without just removing oneself from the negativity?

And while we're at it, pretend you're out at dinner with a group, and only able to consume 1/3 of your plate. (Less if you snack on appetizers.) How might one reduce drawing specific and really uncomfortable attention to this fact? I'm okay with being unconventional, but my diet seems to often make others feel they need to justify their portions or selections which SUCKS, or we get into a topic about diets and food, which is also far from relaxing and enjoyable among a mixed audience. I've ordered desert for an appetizer (like easy to eat ice cream) and that has helped along these lines to have a meal with others with internal and external peace.

Thank you for reading. I'm really glad there are places for expressing this concern.