back on the wagon

I've struggled with my weight ever since my pregnancy in the early 80's. At my heaviest, I was around 240lbs (33 years old), size 18 jeans.

My husband (now-ex) was extremely overweight as well, so making bad choices was easy for both of us. Self control was out of the question. About 4 years ago, I came to the realization that my life was out of control, I was unhappy with myself and with my relationship.

At that point, the only change I made was to what I was eating. I changed my diet and switched to clean eating. I lost weight, got down to around 190lbs and felt good, but still struggled with getting my weight and physicality where I knew it should be. So I hired a personal trainer who put me on a strength training program that I killed twice a week. Again, after a couple of months, I was getting stronger physically but still carrying belly weight. So I took up spin and yoga. I was at the gym twice a day, 5 days per week PLUS working with the trainer twice a week AND hiking and cycling on the weekends. I gave up caffeine, sugar, all glutens and went vegetarian. I shed those final pounds and got down to 140lbs.


The food and weight issues weren't the only thing weighing me down. I finally realized the toll the verbal, emotional (and ultimately physical) abuse was taking on me, my body and my soul. With my body feeling good and the confidence I gained from the activities I was excelling at, I found the strength I needed to move forward... completely.

I filed for divorce, moved about 60 miles away and made a lot of other changes. But, I also slowly reverted to unhealthy food choices. I'm playing my own shrink here and saying that I was looking for comfort in food. As usual, there's a lot more to it than just that.

Fast forward to now. I'm back up to around 190lbs. I'm happy in all aspects of my life with the exception of how I feel about my body. I'm jiggling in places that I can't hide anymore (LOL).

I am looking for a little more balance this time. Some boundaries for myself:

• Don't obsess with the scale. Use the fit of my clothes as a gauge.
• Make healthy food choices. Primary focus on vegetables, lean protein and fruit.
• Plenty of water.
• No more excessive, obsessive workouts.
• Workout 3 times per week with physical activities on the weekend.

I also set a couple of challenges with my BFF to help keep focus. Well, thanks for perusing the post. I'm confident I'm back on the right track, have reasonable goals and expectations and can really make this work.

Peace. DJ