I just can't seem to feel confident at the gym

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Dani_xoxox
Dani_xoxox Posts: 3 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Ugh. I've been going with a workout partner for the last 3 weeks. When I have someone doing the same thing alongside me I feel ok. Today he wanted to play basketball... And I just felt like I had no clue what I was doing. I don't know why, but I hate working out in front of people.

I hate the fact that I am so insecure. Anyone ever deal with this when they first started?

Replies

  • mommarnurse
    mommarnurse Posts: 515 Member
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    Do you give a crap what anyone else is doing in the gym? No? Then they don't give a crap what you're doing, either.
  • lemmie177
    lemmie177 Posts: 479 Member
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    I'm pretty insecure and a little socially anxious. I know what its like. The key is to know what you're there for and just get it done.

    You say you feel like you 'had no clue what you were doing' without your partner. Do you go in with goals and a plan? When I workout, I know what exercises I'm doing, what weight to put on the bar, and in what order. I have things I want to accomplish for the day and that takes priority. Everything else is incidental.
  • happyauntie2015
    happyauntie2015 Posts: 282 Member
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    I understand how you feel and in the beginning I was the same way. I am very overweight and and felt like without my workout partner there I would be stared at or criticised should I do something wrong or forget how to use a machine. It took a good month for me to walk in with my head held high but now that i go in with a plan and realize I am doing this for me not others I'm okay. You will get there as well. Today I actually had someone come up to me while working on my legs and invite me to meet them at the gym tomorrow to learn free weights. I was told they admire that I've been coming in steadily and they would like to show me something new so I don't get bored with the machines. :)
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
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    Facing and plowing through those fears/insecurities is instrumental in your overall change/success in a better you.

    You got this. Just do it.
  • paradi3s
    paradi3s Posts: 343 Member
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    I've been to the gym when I was both overweight and underweight, and no matter what I do, I always feel less confident as if I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like people judge me for what I look or what I'm doing, honestly. The other day, I overheard a conversation between two people who casually said "So I was thinking to myself that his workout is just my warmup! Hahaha" and that really made me feel worse in what I was doing since everyone looks like they're doing great in the gym...

    But I learned to just not care and to do the best I can. Actually, I try to learn to make their statements and stares (if there are any?) spur me on to create an even better version of me to prove them wrong!

    Just remember that everyone's got their insecurities, but it's all up to you to achieve your goals, regardless of the people in the gym or anywhere else. It's hard to face working out with people, but I'm sure you can do it! :)
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
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    I had this issue for the longest time. The only thing you can do is to stop caring what other people think. Even if you do care, act like you don't. Eventually you won't. It is the most freeing thing you can do, I highly reccomend it.
  • katiemonaghan87
    katiemonaghan87 Posts: 19 Member
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    I'm very overweight. I currently joined gym near me. It's awful but I still go. When I'm there I'm only biggest person there, guys big muscles girls skinny as anything. I'm there poring with sweat and looking like a tomato. And I get my equipment together in one corner, rope, skipping (I bring my own rope) weights, I do intervals on treadmill, im running, big boobs aswell. On my mini breather, I look around people watching me but I shrug it off. I turn my music up so it's just me. I can't work out without my earphones and my own music drawns everything out for me. But I do shrug it off, as them people could of Been where I was at one point.
  • Plunderedsoul
    Plunderedsoul Posts: 20 Member
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    I have a lot of anxiety. It's different from Social Anxiety Disorder, but similar in a few ways. One of my biggest fears and overwhelming thoughts is humiliation. I'm so scared of being laughed at, mocked, or doing/saying something wrong and having it pointed out to me. Even if it's pointed out nicely, I go home and hate myself for two weeks! And that scenario will play in my head at random times, adding to my stress.
    This alone made it take a whole year before I dared to go to the gym. I started a couple of days ago, actually.

    When I first started exercising a year ago, however, I started taking long walks, but I made sure that it didn't look like I was trying to exercise, because I was and still am fat. I'd wear nice clothes - casual but not made for exercise.
    Gradually, I switched to actual sportswear, because I noticed that nobody was actually looking at me as I did my laps around the lake. (When I say laps, I wasn't running. I was still walking)

    But I had to get over my fear of the gym, as I can't exercise outside during the winters. I'm sticking to the cardio machines because they don't give me much anxiety. And I'm doing my best to make the gym feel comfortable for me. I have a book in my bag in case I just need to hide for a bit, because I'm a reader. I have my own music because that makes me less aware of my surroundings. I picked a gym that's near where I live so that I can shower at home instead of standing naked with strangers. I picked a gym that made a point of advertising with regular people as well as athletes. I go during hours where there are fewer people (09.00 - 11.00) in the gym.

    This is all the effort I've put in to make myself feel as comfortable as possible at the gym, even with my anxiety.
    And people don't look at me in this gym. They're much too caught up in their own exercise.
    I think THAT is the most important part of a good gym; it should have an atmosphere that keeps people focused on themselves and not judging others. If you don't have that kind of gym, I'd say it's not a good gym.

    Reality is, there's always going to be one or two activities that you hate doing. Basketball? I'd never dare that. Kudos to you for still trying it!
    But also, as you grow to learn how certain activities are best performed, you'll feel less anxious about it.

    I hope your confidence levels improve! You're already challenging yourself!
  • SkezzaShredder
    SkezzaShredder Posts: 39 Member
    edited June 2016
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    As a male, I think people assume we don't give a crap about what others think, but actually when I went the gym, I found it quite hard. Despite being overweight, I've always been quite fit. Running? No problem. 90 minutes of football? No issue at all. Just a few weeks ago, I played a football tournament that lasted all day and kept up with people several stone lighter than me. I can run at 10k quicker than quite a lot of people smaller than me,

    Yet, despite knowing all that, down the gym, I would run for an hour, look around and feel as though "wow, look at those guys, they're ripped, better looking than me and I'm a blimp". Since I've taken my running elsewhere, aka the park, or the local fields, I've found it much easier mentally, and a lot more challenging physically. Both benefits in my opinion
  • 620Tim
    620Tim Posts: 8 Member
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    You're at the gym. You're bettering yourself. Nobody is looking down on you for that. Soon, you will be the one who is intimidating. You just keep up the hard work. That's what's admirable.

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