Peer Pressure!

shadowstar240
shadowstar240 Posts: 23
edited September 29 in Health and Weight Loss
So I was at the seasisde on Sunday with a friend and she insisted that we both needed to have chips because that's apparently the thing you do when you're within 2 miles of the coast! Fortunately for my gut, I didn't bow down to peer pressure but it got me thinking how often there are people around you that insist that "one chocolate bar won't hurt". Where as that probably is true, if you're on a strict calorie controlled diet, it might very well cause some harm to weight loss. I don't know about anyone else but nce I start with the comfort foods, it's very difficult to stop again! So I was wondering, what do you guys do when you have some particularly unhelpful people around you? How do you give into temptation and stay no when you know you should?

Replies

  • cafeteriagirl
    cafeteriagirl Posts: 267 Member
    First of all great job on not bowing to peer pressure!!! There are times when I say no and other times I should have. It is a daily struggle for me too
  • Medcoder75
    Medcoder75 Posts: 17 Member
    this is a lifestyle change-- its about choices. I dont even miss certain foods. and when I do --- I do eat what I want but correctly measured out and counted appropriately. If you eat something bad remember that you will have to make up for it the next meal with something healthier. Dont go overboard. If you give in to these little temptations then you wont crash. (at least this works for me-- but I am pretty unusal because I can just have 1/4 of a cnady bar and stop because I dont want to waste calories--) this works for some and not for others-- give it a try--- you might surprise yourself!
  • lausa22
    lausa22 Posts: 467 Member
    My parent's constantly try to feed me fast food! They always buy me crisps, ice cream and other unhealthy things, because they know I like them. Well now it's not the case of 'i like them' it's 'I want to lose weight!'. So they've just been sitting in the cupboards!
    It's all about willpower, if you know you don't have room for a treat with your friends, just say no!
    Or be polite and say, no thanks, I'm not hungry or that you don't feel like chips.
    Or if you have room for a treat, go for it ;)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I find its best to just say 'no thanks' in a cheery way and change the subject. it gets really annoying when people wont take no for an answer, you shouldnt have to explain yourself to anyone just because u dont want to eat piles of crap!
  • Li_Willi
    Li_Willi Posts: 96 Member
    You shoot them - lol (just kidding!! :laugh: )

    You can't shelter yourself from the real world (unfortunately). Just look at those times of being around "unhelpful people" as times to build up your resistance, will power & discipline to say "no, thanks". Times like that you have to remind yourself why you're on this journey & how many (like a lot of us) you got there just "1 candy bar" at a time or just "a little piece" here & there... And again, that's not to say that you can't EVER have a little treat ever again, but YOU decide when & what & how much, not your peers. Half the battle is mental - try to look at those times as opportunities to work out your "mental" muscles & getting your mind strong about having the discipline to control your own "food" fate & not falling victim to peer pressure. It's in you to do this or else you wouldn't have asked for help... You CAN make the right decisions and you CAN be strong in those tough times. Sometimes we can surprise even ourselves as to what all is in us to accomplish. God Bless! :wink:
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    My friends have become tired of hearing he detailed explanation, so they don't even ask anymore.
  • boyle09
    boyle09 Posts: 17
    Thats how it is with my friends because they all like to go get fast food at night but i just have to tell my self no. But everyday i do eat a piece of chocolate or give my self one serving size of chips. It wont hurt you as are having the right serving size and not over doing it.
  • Tamstar1985
    Tamstar1985 Posts: 334 Member
    i really dislike that kind of peer pressure. some people wanna eat junk food, but in order to justify it, they want you to consume as well, so they try to pull you into it... yuk >_<;;; i get so upset when people push food on me; i have stopped being polite, i firmly say no thank you, and if asked again, i get really snarky!
  • AEB_WV
    AEB_WV Posts: 323 Member
    this is a lifestyle change-- its about choices.


    Amen to that! In my opinion, when you're losing weight it it is a little easier to 'just say no'. Once you've met your goal, trying to maintain is a huge challenge. If you don't have the lifestyle change, you're not going to make it. This is why I've lost the same weight so many times over the years. We need to learn that treats are ok but in moderation! Good luck to all of us!
  • feliciapeters
    feliciapeters Posts: 525
    I dont have the problem of people pushing food on me, but then again, I dont NOT eat something I want, if the kids have fries i may snitch a few, if we're having pasta (my weakness) I have some, I just try to limit myself & fill in with salad. For me at least, it's important to not feel deprived
  • OElleBelleO
    OElleBelleO Posts: 54 Member
    Grrrrr... My sister does the same thing. She won't even touch a piece of cake or ice cream unless I have first. So stupid.
  • shadowstar240
    shadowstar240 Posts: 23
    You shoot them - lol (just kidding!! :laugh: )

    This made me giggle! That's exactly how I feel about it sometimes! It makes me so angry when people won't take no for an answer, especially if you've worked hard all week and I'm not about to blow all my efforts!
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,359 Member
    I've asked the people who are friends to help me by not suggesting foods I'm avoiding and ask them to support me in what I'm working toward. It seems enlisting their aid has worked for me, at least with people who care enough to be my boosters.
  • jbenton091011
    jbenton091011 Posts: 99
    Forgive me, this may not be something most would like to admit or agree to, but I find that people try and sabotage you when you're losing weight. Whether they do it conscientiously or subconscientiously is irrelevant I don't know, but they try and sabotage you none the less. Perhaps it's a type of "survival of the fittest" gear that kicks into play or it's just a jealousy factor.... who knows. But it kicks in and we sabotage or be sabotaged.

    I noticed myself do this same thing last night. A mutual acquaintance is in dire need of losing weight. And she's taken the initiative and started the Dukan Diet. Though I'm not an avid lover of it, at least she's doing something. Rather than encouraging her or complimenting her on her effort, I slated the Dukan diet by calling it the "Dunkin Diet"!! How could I be so mean!!! Many people have had tremendous success on the Dukan diet and it's not a Dunkin Diet anyway, so why would I say something like that?!?! Because subconsciously, I didn't want anyone else to lose weight in my group.

    I am not a bad person. I make every effort to encourage people in their weight loss and I am genuinely pleased when people announce their successes. I made contact with this person and apologised for what I said and have offered any assistance I can offer.
  • ElaKuz
    ElaKuz Posts: 49
    I realize this isn't always an option, but I have limited my contact with people who I consider to be enablers of bad food choices.
    You know the ones, those people who will talk you into a night at the pub with chips and burgers even though you've alerady had dinner... or brunch, followed by dinner followed by movies... I simply decided to start saying no to these invitations and it turned out without our pub time our friendship was very limited...
    I really think there are some people who use others to assist them in making poor food choices.
    I know that when I was in the mood for eating out there were certain people I would call that I knew wouldn't judge, nay they would encourage, poor eating.
    Just a thought.
  • Daffydilly
    Daffydilly Posts: 29 Member
    I'm so with you on this. My own personal weakness is chocolate, which is highly addictive and I find that the longer I go without it the easier it is to refuse it.

    I'm fortunate as I'm supported pretty well by family, friends and work but it wouldn't take much encouragement for me to step off the waggon.

    I'd just say to limit your exposure to the diet 'saboteurs' and enjoy the rosy glow of smugness you get from sticking to your guns and politely declining.

    Good luck!
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    I just say no.
  • siobhano_
    siobhano_ Posts: 101
    Today my friend and I went to the movies, and because she had junk food, I did too. I had popcorn, an energy drink and chocolate. I feel so bad about it and now my calories remaining are a negative. It was difficult today, I wanted to find a healthier choice, but I didn't want to make things difficult by buying some nuts and fruit and a bottle or water instead. How do you deal in groups?
  • MoonShadow_1au
    MoonShadow_1au Posts: 149 Member
    Today my friend and I went to the movies, and because she had junk food, I did too. I had popcorn, an energy drink and chocolate. I feel so bad about it and now my calories remaining are a negative. It was difficult today, I wanted to find a healthier choice, but I didn't want to make things difficult by buying some nuts and fruit and a bottle or water instead. How do you deal in groups?

    Popcorn can actually be good. Drop the chocolate and I would have been happy about the choices.
  • 1953Judith
    1953Judith Posts: 325 Member
    I have this rule. I can eat what I want, but it must be planned. So if I am going on an outing with someone. I ask what they are thinking about in the way of food so I can prepare. I then have a rough idea in advance of what the other person has in mind. I can plan to go with the flow, building it into my menu for the day or figure out healthy alternatives in advance. For me, the more my friends and family realize that this is how I am managing my health, the more accepting they become of my new habits.
  • monkeymouse74
    monkeymouse74 Posts: 288
    Forgive me, this may not be something most would like to admit or agree to, but I find that people try and sabotage you when you're losing weight. Whether they do it conscientiously or subconscientiously is irrelevant I don't know, but they try and sabotage you none the less. Perhaps it's a type of "survival of the fittest" gear that kicks into play or it's just a jealousy factor.... who knows. But it kicks in and we sabotage or be sabotaged.

    I noticed myself do this same thing last night. A mutual acquaintance is in dire need of losing weight. And she's taken the initiative and started the Dukan Diet. Though I'm not an avid lover of it, at least she's doing something. Rather than encouraging her or complimenting her on her effort, I slated the Dukan diet by calling it the "Dunkin Diet"!! How could I be so mean!!! Many people have had tremendous success on the Dukan diet and it's not a Dunkin Diet anyway, so why would I say something like that?!?! Because subconsciously, I didn't want anyone else to lose weight in my group.

    I am not a bad person. I make every effort to encourage people in their weight loss and I am genuinely pleased when people announce their successes. I made contact with this person and apologised for what I said and have offered any assistance I can offer.

    I agree, It also changes the dynamic of your friendships. Some people like to have that "fat" friend who makes them feel better about themselves. It's not always meant to be mean, it's just the way it is. And when the "fat" friend starts to slim down, they have to look at themselves without a buffer, and that's a really hard thing to do. So sabtage is the most logical way to prevent them having to face up to themselves. You also become more confident as you lose weight and that's also difficult for some people to cope with.

    But good on you for not falling for it...:flowerforyou:

    I also agree that this is a lifestyle change, and to deny yourself certain foods is just setting yourself up for a really hard time. Be carefull to only have foods like that if you truelly feel hungry, and then compensate so you still fall in your calorie goal or incorperate it into your workout. And a free day is also a good idea, just not everyday.:bigsmile:
  • hellokathy
    hellokathy Posts: 540 Member
    I must admit that on an occasion like the one you described, I would have probably given in, if it wasn't something I'd do regularly (spend a day by the sea, I mean). Sometimes you'll have to allow yourself a treat like that, so I don't strongly disagree with your friend. What irks me is when people just won't give me a break when I say no. Or when they suggest I just have junk food for no reason. Like today I'm not feeling so good and I've put in all the things I plan to eat and am still only at around 900 calories. I can't even bear the thought of eating more but I should to at least reach my 1,200 minimum. And my friend suggested I should eat chocolate just to get up there. Of course, I would reach my minimum then, but I'd eat something that's pretty much completely unhealthy and I wouldn't even enjoy it. Why would she tempt me to do that then?
  • runnercheryl
    runnercheryl Posts: 1,314 Member
    My thought is that you can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself.

    I'm not going to say I don't give in to peer pressure sometimes - my fiance occasionally suggests takeaway and I DO have it, but I select a children's meal or go for the healthiest thing on the menu, and that works for me.

    However, I've had that pressure in two directions. You have the "one chocolate bar won't hurt" people, who'll influence you to consume just one little thing because the calories aren't THAT bad, and I've had the people who watch my healthy lifestyle with great interest from their dieting position. These are people who still see weight loss as a diet, who've watched me change my whole lifestyle and who comment on how I should try the latest fad diet they're on because I'm not losing weight very quickly.

    Some people want you to eat more, some want you to eat less - to me, that says you're doing fine right in the middle!
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