Insensitive spouse

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2

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  • LuckyNumbers
    LuckyNumbers Posts: 208 Member
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    Husbands can be real dunces sometimes. After I missed a day of C25K (no big deal, I can do it the next day), DH said to me, "I don't even know why you bother if you're just gonna not do it and make excuses," and blah, blah, blah.

    He is normally otherwise an amazing husband, but really, dude? Think before you start spewing crap out of your mouth ... Just prove him wrong, hon.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    Annoying, I'm sure, but you've had the willpower and commitment to lose 106lbs (high five on that), I'm thinking that you won't find it that tough to shake that comment off. Go you!
  • monih10
    monih10 Posts: 578 Member
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    Uh....NO!!
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    I don't find that comment all that insensitive.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    LuckyNumbers wrote: »
    Husbands can be real dunces sometimes. After I missed a day of C25K (no big deal, I can do it the next day), DH said to me, "I don't even know why you bother if you're just gonna not do it and make excuses," and blah, blah, blah.

    He is normally otherwise an amazing husband, but really, dude? Think before you start spewing crap out of your mouth ... Just prove him wrong, hon.

    yeah they tend to speak before thinking. mine is like that sometimes
  • JaneSnowe
    JaneSnowe Posts: 1,283 Member
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    KDar1988 wrote: »
    Thanks for the kind words everyone :) I have been a yo-yo dieter all my life so he's seen me at my biggest and now I'm almost at the weight I was when we met 30 years ago! Yikes, that sounds like forever! He does make snarky comments sometimes at the reason of "I am just joking". But my confidence level is coming up as the weight is going down and I give it right back to him. I don't let him walk all over me anymore like I've let most people do in my life. I will not let his attitude get me down. I'll prove him wrong! Thanks again! <3

    You sound like you have a good attitude! If he's been otherwise supportive, I'd bet it was his practical side talking before his filter kicked in. :)
  • haroldrios1692
    haroldrios1692 Posts: 90 Member
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    That's not something you say to anyone let alone your wife. It's definitely not constructive, how awesome would it be if you took that comment and used it in a small way to motivate yourself to get really fit. That be so fulfilling
  • KDar1988
    KDar1988 Posts: 650 Member
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    haroldrios1692 wrote: »
    That's not something you say to anyone let alone your wife. It's definitely not constructive, how awesome would it be if you took that comment and used it in a small way to motivate yourself to get really fit. That be so fulfilling

    I agree. Words cut deeper than a knife. I won't let it stop me!
  • CharleneD80
    CharleneD80 Posts: 29 Member
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    Maybe he's worried you will leave him
  • lgrix
    lgrix Posts: 160 Member
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    Hey, great job on the weight loss. Sometimes it's best not to ponder on stupid things that our spouses say. I'm sure he is very proud of all of your hard work.
  • JaneSnowe
    JaneSnowe Posts: 1,283 Member
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    KDar1988 wrote: »
    haroldrios1692 wrote: »
    That's not something you say to anyone let alone your wife. It's definitely not constructive, how awesome would it be if you took that comment and used it in a small way to motivate yourself to get really fit. That be so fulfilling

    I agree. Words cut deeper than a knife. I won't let it stop me!

    *hugs*
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    edited June 2016
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    Sounds like it's time to have a conversation with him. Talk about your weight loss. if you've lost before, what's changed, what makes this "the time" it sticks. ASK him to be more supportive....
    ETA: I see you're a yoyo dieter. Talk to HIM about why this time is different!
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
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    I am very sorry the OP has a partner like this. I cannot imagine staying with a person who is not supportive of my life goals. And I'm a little disturbed at the number of generalized comments along the lines of "men/husbands can be like that." No, men do not have to be insensitive jerks. And for those who are, gender is no excuse.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    SherryTeach wrote: »
    I am very sorry the OP has a partner like this. I cannot imagine staying with a person who is not supportive of my life goals. And I'm a little disturbed at the number of generalized comments along the lines of "men/husbands can be like that." No, men do not have to be insensitive jerks. And for those who are, gender is no excuse.

    no but some men talk before they think and some dont mean for things to come out the way they do sometimes.hell Im female and say a lot of things that come out wrong sometimes and I have to tell hubby I didnt mean it the way it came out.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »
    SherryTeach wrote: »
    I am very sorry the OP has a partner like this. I cannot imagine staying with a person who is not supportive of my life goals. And I'm a little disturbed at the number of generalized comments along the lines of "men/husbands can be like that." No, men do not have to be insensitive jerks. And for those who are, gender is no excuse.

    no but some men talk before they think and some dont mean for things to come out the way they do sometimes.hell Im female and say a lot of things that come out wrong sometimes and I have to tell hubby I didnt mean it the way it came out.

    I tend to let it fly out of my mouth and it is always to late to take back what I said.. it like the judge telling the jury to disregard testimony already heard...

    Men are pigs.. my husband is the first to say he is a pig along with a billion others.. and with that said OP are you sure he was not joking (all means it was tactless if it was not a joke) but I can see this flying out of my husbands mouth and him walk off, laughing to himself, not realizing he left the joke in the room as he walked off..

    I would have picked up a baseball bat and made him take it back..
  • KDar1988
    KDar1988 Posts: 650 Member
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    I chalk his comments up to being raised the way he was. There isn't enough time on this forum to go into the details. His father was cruel to his mother that way and he learned from the master. He told me one night that I had dog jowels (not sure how to spell it). That's the stuff that comes out of his mouth. He thinks he's being funny when it's mean to remark on a persons appearance (he is not perfect by any means!). Personally, I don't think you all see that in profile pic do you?? But again...not going to let him get away with it. He was told by my mother that if he doesn't start treating me better I'll find someone who will....because I don't really think all men are that way.
  • SisterSueGetsFit
    SisterSueGetsFit Posts: 1,211 Member
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    KDar1988 wrote: »
    I chalk his comments up to being raised the way he was. There isn't enough time on this forum to go into the details. His father was cruel to his mother that way and he learned from the master. He told me one night that I had dog jowels (not sure how to spell it). That's the stuff that comes out of his mouth. He thinks he's being funny when it's mean to remark on a persons appearance (he is not perfect by any means!). Personally, I don't think you all see that in profile pic do you?? But again...not going to let him get away with it. He was told by my mother that if he doesn't start treating me better I'll find someone who will....because I don't really think all men are that way.

    This and his comment in your original post is totally unacceptable. Regardless of how he was raised he is a grown man and is hopefully intelligent enough to know this is not the way you speak to someone, particularly somebody you love.

    Have you spoken to a counselor about any of this? In my opinion you deserve better.
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
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    No, I don't see jowls. A see a pretty woman, who deserves a little more understanding and kindness from her spouse. Glad your mother told him to treat you better. You deserve it!

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