Insensitive spouse

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Replies

  • lgrix
    lgrix Posts: 160 Member
    Hey, great job on the weight loss. Sometimes it's best not to ponder on stupid things that our spouses say. I'm sure he is very proud of all of your hard work.
  • JaneSnowe
    JaneSnowe Posts: 1,283 Member
    KDar1988 wrote: »
    haroldrios1692 wrote: »
    That's not something you say to anyone let alone your wife. It's definitely not constructive, how awesome would it be if you took that comment and used it in a small way to motivate yourself to get really fit. That be so fulfilling

    I agree. Words cut deeper than a knife. I won't let it stop me!

    *hugs*
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    edited June 2016
    Sounds like it's time to have a conversation with him. Talk about your weight loss. if you've lost before, what's changed, what makes this "the time" it sticks. ASK him to be more supportive....
    ETA: I see you're a yoyo dieter. Talk to HIM about why this time is different!
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    I am very sorry the OP has a partner like this. I cannot imagine staying with a person who is not supportive of my life goals. And I'm a little disturbed at the number of generalized comments along the lines of "men/husbands can be like that." No, men do not have to be insensitive jerks. And for those who are, gender is no excuse.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    SherryTeach wrote: »
    I am very sorry the OP has a partner like this. I cannot imagine staying with a person who is not supportive of my life goals. And I'm a little disturbed at the number of generalized comments along the lines of "men/husbands can be like that." No, men do not have to be insensitive jerks. And for those who are, gender is no excuse.

    no but some men talk before they think and some dont mean for things to come out the way they do sometimes.hell Im female and say a lot of things that come out wrong sometimes and I have to tell hubby I didnt mean it the way it came out.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »
    SherryTeach wrote: »
    I am very sorry the OP has a partner like this. I cannot imagine staying with a person who is not supportive of my life goals. And I'm a little disturbed at the number of generalized comments along the lines of "men/husbands can be like that." No, men do not have to be insensitive jerks. And for those who are, gender is no excuse.

    no but some men talk before they think and some dont mean for things to come out the way they do sometimes.hell Im female and say a lot of things that come out wrong sometimes and I have to tell hubby I didnt mean it the way it came out.

    I tend to let it fly out of my mouth and it is always to late to take back what I said.. it like the judge telling the jury to disregard testimony already heard...

    Men are pigs.. my husband is the first to say he is a pig along with a billion others.. and with that said OP are you sure he was not joking (all means it was tactless if it was not a joke) but I can see this flying out of my husbands mouth and him walk off, laughing to himself, not realizing he left the joke in the room as he walked off..

    I would have picked up a baseball bat and made him take it back..
  • KDar1988
    KDar1988 Posts: 648 Member
    I chalk his comments up to being raised the way he was. There isn't enough time on this forum to go into the details. His father was cruel to his mother that way and he learned from the master. He told me one night that I had dog jowels (not sure how to spell it). That's the stuff that comes out of his mouth. He thinks he's being funny when it's mean to remark on a persons appearance (he is not perfect by any means!). Personally, I don't think you all see that in profile pic do you?? But again...not going to let him get away with it. He was told by my mother that if he doesn't start treating me better I'll find someone who will....because I don't really think all men are that way.
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  • SisterSueGetsFit
    SisterSueGetsFit Posts: 1,211 Member
    KDar1988 wrote: »
    I chalk his comments up to being raised the way he was. There isn't enough time on this forum to go into the details. His father was cruel to his mother that way and he learned from the master. He told me one night that I had dog jowels (not sure how to spell it). That's the stuff that comes out of his mouth. He thinks he's being funny when it's mean to remark on a persons appearance (he is not perfect by any means!). Personally, I don't think you all see that in profile pic do you?? But again...not going to let him get away with it. He was told by my mother that if he doesn't start treating me better I'll find someone who will....because I don't really think all men are that way.

    This and his comment in your original post is totally unacceptable. Regardless of how he was raised he is a grown man and is hopefully intelligent enough to know this is not the way you speak to someone, particularly somebody you love.

    Have you spoken to a counselor about any of this? In my opinion you deserve better.
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
    No, I don't see jowls. A see a pretty woman, who deserves a little more understanding and kindness from her spouse. Glad your mother told him to treat you better. You deserve it!
  • amanda000002014
    amanda000002014 Posts: 73 Member
    Umm if you have a couch now would be a good time for him to use it :| .
  • kendahlj
    kendahlj Posts: 243 Member
    He probably thought he was making a funny joke, general good natured ribbing, and didn't realize how hurtful it came across. Or else he's overweight and is jealous of your success...

    Congrats on the weight loss! 100+ pounds is such an accomplishment.
  • newereveryday
    newereveryday Posts: 222 Member
    I think putting him in the donation bin is generous! Straight to the compost heap in my opinion!
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