Raising Children with Healthy Habits

Congrats on your weight loss and your pregnancy! I really commend you for worrying about your child's health. The food environment in the US is really unhealthy, and kids are easy and highly sought targets of soda and snack companies. Look at all the sugary cereals and high-calorie fast food spots that are marketed right to young children. It's alarming! I think you are a wonderful parent to be concerned about how to teach your baby to be a healthy eater.

I think the most important thing you can do as a parent is set an example for your kids. Kids imitate their parents. If you're eating chips and ice cream and drinking soda all the time, kids are going to want it too. If you're having salads with your meals and keep lots of fruit on the table for snacks, kids will want to have those things as well. Remember, as a parent, you control the food in the house. Buy low-calorie, natural foods; eschew keeping many bags of potato chips and boxes of cookies around all the time.

I'd also recommend engaging your kids in cooking meals. I think this is a really big problem in the US--so many people have no idea how to cook. Even young kids can help you pick out pots and pans, grab cans out of the pantry, or "wash" fruit and veg. As your child grows older, you can give them more and more responsibility in weighing out food, carrying dishes to the table, and of course washing up. Show your kids that cooking is natural and necessary, and you will instill some great habits early on.

I noticed you also wrote you don't want your child to learn to eat for comfort, and I also think that's a key issue. A lot of people stress eat or binge eat to relax feelings of tension, anger, or fear. I definitely have a stress reaction; as soon as something goes wrong my immediate impulse is to eat, eat, eat! I think the key here is to teach your child healthy ways of handling emotions. That's a really tricky topic and definitely not something that I can give you a lot of advice on. I'd look for books and maybe your pediatrician to give you guidance on teaching your kids how to express emotions in healthy and productive ways--not by grabbing fistfuls of hershey kisses and downing a 2 liter of Gatorade.

It is a real battle out there to protect your kids from predatory marketing. I don't know how much you can hide them away from commercials and peer pressure. Everywhere you look, there are billboards and popstars and cartoons and friends pushing sodas, cookies, cheese crackers, and sweets that have nominal nutrition but tons of calories. You have to play defense, and I think the best way is to have a very strong home base full of produce and home-cooked meals.

You've received some really great advice thus far - especially about the Diet Dr. Pepper.

My kiddo just turned 2, and I am fairly certain we have entered the picky eater phase. She will eat everything in sight, but she is a carb queen and a cheese fiend, so we have to find ways to make sure we sneak in some protein and something green once in a while.

A few things we do:
- Reintroduce, reintroduce, reintroduce. I get frustrated with her grandparents when they say things like, "But she doesn't like green beans." She's two. She doesn't know if she likes green beans. And guess what? She does so like green beans.
- Be patient and kind. DH and I both grew up in households where we were expected not to waste food and if we refused food, it was rude. So, we praise her when she eats well and we try to stay patient with her. Instead of saying, "Finish your food", we ask her to take one more bite of the nutritious thing so she can have another bite of the thing she wants. Maybe not the best method, but it ties back in to the reintroduction thing.
- I of course second including your kiddo in cooking, but we like to educate her in the grocery store and our garden, too. I let her pick which bananas she wants and we name things in the produce section. We talk about what we're going to cook with the ingredients we pick and how yummy it's going to taste. And then she gets to go in the garden with daddy and pick veggies and eat cherry tomatoes right off the vine. Good stuff.

Congrats on your pregnancy - they're a lot of work but they're also so much fun.

You've had some great advice here. I would absolutely echo the modeling idea. Our children eat healthy now because a health crisis forced us into a lifestyle change when they were tiny. Almost done raising 3 now and as I look back the one thing I would change - do not use baby food. I found that with the kids I gave real food to (just pureed it well with liquid) and did not do baby food they were way more open to eating anything I put in front of them. Give whole foods as much as possible. We try to eat a 85/15 diet. 85 whole and healthy with 15 treats, etc. When we changed our diet from SAD to healthy we talked to and taught our kids that we wanted them to be healthy (not weight related) and to do so meant eating foods in their natural state as much as possible while enjoying the once in awhile treat. By doing this for years on end I have found that now our kids don't have a huge desire for garbage, but they like a treat once in awhile. Their bodies actually don't react well when they eat crap so they became self regulating as teenagers because they know processed crap (and fast food) was going to make them feel bad physically. So make their diet about health (as opposed to weight) and you'll do great.

Congrats on the pregnancy! Children are a huge blessing!

My opinion - it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't thing. Kids who grow up deprived of junk can end up 'making up' for it when they leave the home... Kids who can have whatever can end up just eating whatever they want anytime... it's just a crap shoot, IMO.

I was one of those moms who tried to make my own baby food... kids wouldn't touch it. Then I made sure to give them some veggies with their meals... they always ended up in the trash. You just can't force a toddler to eat what they don't want to eat. The only thing that ended up working for us was doing what I swore I'd never do - bribe them with dessert (like a 40 calorie popsicle) if they ate their veggies. But now they eat them (mostly) and sometimes even take seconds...

My kids eat plenty of junk and I let them have crackers/cookies/goldfish as snacks but if they're still hungry after, I just make sure that they eat something healthier (cheese stick or fruit, really). They won't eat anything fancy at lunch so it's often chicken nuggets with fruit or a cookie (or some kind of sandwich with fruit and a cookie). I let them order whatever they want when we go out and they stuff their face with soda and popcorn at movies and candy during the Holidays. So basically... everything in moderation and enjoy your Holidays. Obviously dinners are typically pretty balanced though as I never have many calories left for it anyway... but I guess twice a week (leftovers days) I let them have what they want (but worst case it's a sandwich or pasta with cheese).

And despite everything, my son often sneaks in the kitchen after dinner to take some crackers or cookies. Seriously, you just can't win. He can't sit in place though so he's always fidgeting and is a great weight... but yeah. So despite my good intentions, we still have issues!

Oh and the 'not labeling foods as bad' thing? The school took care of it for us. My thin 8yo daughter is now telling me that some things have too many calories - and almost none of the girls ate cake at her birthday party. I tell her that she really doesn't have to worry about it but what can you do...

I did baby led weaning with my son, and breastfeeding on demand for the first year. After that, he was old enough in my opinion to understand when I told him to wait a little bit to nurse.

He turned 2 in April, and is a spectacular eater, though that could be just his personality. I cook once or twice a day, involve him in food selection and preparation, and continue to offer foods that he's previously rejected. He never has to eat what I offer, but by now I encourage him to at least try foods. I help him with using spoons if he asks, but otherwise I've always just put food in front of him and let him go at it. I didn't give him junk food when we started, but as he got older I've slowly let him have small amounts. I don't want him to see these as nutritious food, or eat them frequently, but I think if I forbid them he'll just want them more.

I agree that the most important thing you can do is create your own healthy relationship with food and model good eating habits. Kids pick up on what we don't say much more than what we do say.

wheeee123 wrote: »

Nobody has really talked about keeping kids active. Any advice on that front?

LOL...no advice for you here. My toddler can't even sit still strapped in her high chair, so I haven't yet gotten to the point of needing help for that.

My kids HATE walking. It SUCKS. I swear we're the perfect example about why showing a good example just isn't always enough. I love walks. My daughter ruined our last vacation by throwing a fit every time we had to walk somewhere.

But yeah.. play ball, get bikes, scooters, go for walks if they tolerate it, go to the park/playground/pool, go to the farm, check fairs and kids activities in your area, get a dog.

Breastfeeding is great, but for developing healthy eating habits, formula feeding on demand is great too. From what I understand, the key is to follow their cues when they're infants. No matter the feeding method.

Little kids are active. They love playgrounds, exploring outdoors, etc. Mine begs to go for a walk or go to the park every day. When he has too much energy he runs laps around the house. It's just their nature I think. It's when they get a little older that they want to park in front of the tv lol. I agree with the advice above about modeling activity. If they see that it's just a part of daily life, that active goals are worthy goals, it will be easier for them to internalize the value and develop daily active habits.

Your example is the biggest thing. You buy the food. You control the situation. My children range in age from 9 to 14, and we are expecting one in October. We eat out sometimes. Pizza nights are a thing, though I always make a nice salad to complement. We probably don't hit the 80/20 ratio, but I try, and we ALWAYS eat dinner at the table as a family.

Some guidelines I have adopted over the years for our home:

On nice days, screens may be used for one hour before they get turned off. You don't have to go outside, but you do have to use your imagination and be a kid. On bad rainy, snowy, or really cold days, I'm a bit more lenient.

You must play one thing. This can be a sport, or when you get older an instrument, but you must play one thing.

Palates and tastes change as we grow older, so you must try at least one bite of everything before refusing it. And it has to be a real bite - none of that nibble *kitten*.

You may pick one thing on your plate you don't like and not eat it. You don't like the pasta AND the green bell peppers in your food? Well... you're eating one of them so which do you hate the most?

Your plate must be cleared before you have seconds of anything - this is how I ensure that proteins and veggies are eaten before seconds on the things they really want. If they aren't hungry, I don't make them clean their plates, usually just half of everything, but if they want seconds they need to (minus the one thing they are allowed to forgo).

My youngest HATES potatoes unless they are in the form of french fries or tater tots. This has been a thing for years and I have given up, I'm guessing it's a texture issue. So, when we have potatoes, she gets a double dose of veggies. She accepts this compromise.

As soon as they could sit, they were in their high chairs with me while I cooked. I've always tried to make it a family affair.

We drink milk or juice (seldomly) with meals, and water any other time. Soda is reserved for pizza night and when we eat out.

With toddlers, instead of fighting the picky eating phase I embraced it. I kept a variety of bite sized, stable at room temperature foods at ready access. They have smaller stomachs than us, and are grazers. They always sat with us during meal time, but it wasn't a big deal if they just painted with their ketchup. Meal times, I always served either a pediasure shake or sometimes just whole milk with half a packet of carnation instant breakfast. I was able to ensure this way that they were getting some nutrients and we just called it chocolate milk, so they didn't fight it.

I keep lots of fruits and veggies around, and in my opinion, if you're not hungry enough to eat an apple, you're really not hungry.

What all my rules and the example I try to set has accomplished is a group of kids with a wide variety of tastes who try everything before judging it. They love their garbage food, but they know that they need to make healthy choices more than eating junk. Treats are treats and we love our treats but they are not everyday things.