Husband needs help gaining
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samanthaluangphixay wrote: »eversmallory wrote: »samanthaluangphixay wrote: »Does he have any favourite meals? Maybe try making some of his favourite meals and give him bigger portions. You would take a smaller portion.
How about sneaking something high calorie like peanut butter into his smoothies/dessert? Something that is smaller but more dense in calories. That way, the sheer volume of food will not scare him off.
SOMETIMES I can talk him into a PB and banana milkshake at night but it's usually not fruity enough for him so he turns his nose up lol (He says the PB overpowers everything). I told him to eat a spoonful of PB and he thought that was gross (WEIRD it's one of my favs haha probably why I'm the one trying to lose).
GET THIS! His favorite food is freaking taco SALAD. He like healthy foods too much! I wish I had his problem lol.
I'm trying to find peace in all of this and stop fighting with him about it.... I wish he could see that I am trying to help, and I wish he would notice that he is not healthy!
Thank you for your help! I'm going to try to figure out some higher calorie dinners he likes and just give myself a small portion with a side salad.
Add loads of sour cream, cheese, and guacamole to his taco salad. Make sure it is the full fat stuff! Use regular ground beef rather than the lean - yes, it may mean less for you but if it is something he enjoys - then he will be more likely to eat it. Add a tortilla if he's into it. Your portion would just maybe be heavier on the lettuce and lighter on everything else.
Sounds like a good plan! Thank you!0 -
eversmallory wrote: »eversmallory wrote: »He's a competent adult capable of making his own decisions, and I don't see anything to indicate any medical conditions interfering with his competency. Stop making his weight your problem. He's the only one who can change it.
Ok I was asking for help and obviously this DOESN'T help the situation. BYE.
He's my husband and I care about his health. It is my problem.
Unfortunately, if he doesn't want to eat more, you can't force him to.
Has he been losing weight, or is 150 his normal weight? Is he eating less than he used to, or is this how he has always eaten? The only thing you've told us is that he feels sick if he eats more.
If he has been losing weight and is eating less than he used to because his stomach is bothering him, unfortunately he needs to see a doctor, there is no way for us to know what is going on.
If he has always been slim and not eaten much, does he think this is a problem, or is it just you?
Since he started his job as a mailman he has lost 25 pounds... since December. This isn't a normal weight for him. He is eating less than before because he doesn't have time at work to eat anymore. He knows this is a problem but he just can't handle big meals.
I'm not looking to get stomped on... I just wanted advice.
I'm sorry if it seemed like "stomping" but all you told us up until now was that you were trying to get him to eat more but he wouldn't because he said it bothered his stomach. With that very limited info, it sounded like it could be more a problem for you than for him.
I hope you guys find a solution to get you thru till November...0 -
ice cream
peanut butter/almond butter
whole milk
nuts
avocados
pizza..
brownies1 -
Ah, "my spouse unintentionally lost 25 pounds in 6 months and wants to make a change but doesn't know how" is a very different fact pattern than "my spouse is a couple pounds outside of normal BMI which makes me unhappy; we fight about my attempts to control their eating; how can I manipulate their food intake in ways they won't notice."
It sounds like he's really sensitive to volume, so he needs calorie-dense food. He likes the evening milkshake - could you sub whole cow's milk for the almond milk? Work gradually up to making his shakes with cream? Add cheese or butter to veggies? Something cold (frozen grapes?) as a snack while he walks? You got some great suggestions for fattening up a taco salad - what else does he like to eat?
I personally find protein bars to be quite dry, and would not enjoy them as a snack while walking in the heat with limited fluids (because I assume limited bathrooms). And it doesn't sound like he necessarily needs protein as much as calories. Are there other shelf-stable (or able to be carried in whatever is keeping his turkey-and-mayo cool) foods that he likes, regardless of nutritional redeeming value?1 -
He's a competent adult capable of making his own decisions, and I don't see anything to indicate any medical conditions interfering with his competency. Stop making his weight your problem. He's the only one who can change it.
I wrote pretty much the same post, but with the addition that he should also be cooking his own meals like a grown-up.
But then I didn't post it because I thought it would be mean.2 -
I have a super similar problem! my boyfriend has an extremely low appetite, to the point where he takes medication before eat most days. the only really easy way to get him to eat a good out is to take him to one of his favourite restaurants (which is not a very economical answer lol) and even then sometimes he'll pass or not eat his whole meal or even throw up after if he didn't eat much before then. recently he was diagnosed with another unrelated medical problem for which the medication has an unintentional side effect of weight/appetite loss and his doctor expressed a lot of concern over.
since around November I think, he dropped from his regular weight of ~140 to ~110 or so. I think he's doing a bit better now, maybe up to 117 or so, last time I got him to weigh himself he was sitting at 112. I don't have a problem with him being so slim aesthetically but I know he's very self conscious about it (doesn't like to be nude around me if he can avoid it, keep his shirt on in the bedroom, doesn't like it when I show his body affection, etc.) plus the medical concern as well. he works in construction and is 5'11. I don't necessarily think he needs to gain muscle but just anything really, from a standing piston you can see all his ribs through his chest kind of thing, and as busy season approaches for his work I too get worried that he'll just pass out in the job!
I've brought up the idea of protein powder to raise his caloric intake, but he's apprehensive about it possibly interacting with his medication. he also just doesn't like sweets in general and I think most of the protein powders/bars I know of are sweet (I use vega protein and greens vanilla and I like luna bars and those simplyprotein bars, but I'm trying to eat at a deficit!)
as an example today I made him a fried egg sandwich with bacon on an English muffin for breakfast. he normally has a slice of cheese on it as well but today we were out. I wrap this in a paper towel so he can have a hot meal for the road without stopping at mcdonalds, cus he doesn't like to eat before 6am either.
for lunch I packed him ~400g (weighed cooked which I know is not ideal but it was leftovers) of bacon carbonara made with 1% milk, and 2 boneless skinless chicken thighs (roasted) that weighed in at 210g raw. I also packed 1 500ml bottle of water and one 940ml Gatorade. I definitely expect to see a lot of that come back with his lunch box, though!
he's not home for dinner tonight but if he was he'd have something like a fillet of salmon and steamed broccoli on rice - when he's eating with me it's a bit harder bc again, I'm eating at a deficit. he usually has a beer or a cooler in the evening as well.
so here are my additional questions: is it possible that protein powder would interact with hid medication? that seems unlikely to me, but I get why he is concerned, his doctor told him not to take even Tylenol or anything. also, links to anything non-sweet protein powder recipes would be awesome!
do any gainers have ideas for packed lunches that wouldn't be too much trouble on my end but are still calorie dense and easy to eat at work? I like packing things like chickpea salad and hardboiled eggs as sides, but I guess I get worried that they might not be realistic on the job site. I like the suggestion of packing nuts, I'll definitely add a snack mix with peanuts or cashews to my grocery list.
also, is there a way on mfp to track calories for two people? like an account switch maybe like you can do on uhhhh twitter, Tumblr or instagram? I have a general idea of what I'm doing when I cook for him but I don't think he is interested in making his own account... like I said, he's super self conscious about his weight, I don't know if I suggested he join might be a blow to his self esteem. he definitely sees me using it a lot.
any suggestions help! I'm no great chef but I like to try and take care of my fella! also @ the people saying "he's a grown man he can cook for himself" and related comments - it must be hard having been single for so long!1 -
girlperson666 wrote: »I have a super similar problem! my boyfriend has an extremely low appetite, to the point where he takes medication before eat most days. the only really easy way to get him to eat a good out is to take him to one of his favourite restaurants (which is not a very economical answer lol) and even then sometimes he'll pass or not eat his whole meal or even throw up after if he didn't eat much before then. recently he was diagnosed with another unrelated medical problem for which the medication has an unintentional side effect of weight/appetite loss and his doctor expressed a lot of concern over.
since around November I think, he dropped from his regular weight of ~140 to ~110 or so. I think he's doing a bit better now, maybe up to 117 or so, last time I got him to weigh himself he was sitting at 112. I don't have a problem with him being so slim aesthetically but I know he's very self conscious about it (doesn't like to be nude around me if he can avoid it, keep his shirt on in the bedroom, doesn't like it when I show his body affection, etc.) plus the medical concern as well. he works in construction and is 5'11. I don't necessarily think he needs to gain muscle but just anything really, from a standing piston you can see all his ribs through his chest kind of thing, and as busy season approaches for his work I too get worried that he'll just pass out in the job!
I've brought up the idea of protein powder to raise his caloric intake, but he's apprehensive about it possibly interacting with his medication. he also just doesn't like sweets in general and I think most of the protein powders/bars I know of are sweet (I use vega protein and greens vanilla and I like luna bars and those simplyprotein bars, but I'm trying to eat at a deficit!)
as an example today I made him a fried egg sandwich with bacon on an English muffin for breakfast. he normally has a slice of cheese on it as well but today we were out. I wrap this in a paper towel so he can have a hot meal for the road without stopping at mcdonalds, cus he doesn't like to eat before 6am either.
for lunch I packed him ~400g (weighed cooked which I know is not ideal but it was leftovers) of bacon carbonara made with 1% milk, and 2 boneless skinless chicken thighs (roasted) that weighed in at 210g raw. I also packed 1 500ml bottle of water and one 940ml Gatorade. I definitely expect to see a lot of that come back with his lunch box, though!
he's not home for dinner tonight but if he was he'd have something like a fillet of salmon and steamed broccoli on rice - when he's eating with me it's a bit harder bc again, I'm eating at a deficit. he usually has a beer or a cooler in the evening as well.
so here are my additional questions: is it possible that protein powder would interact with hid medication? that seems unlikely to me, but I get why he is concerned, his doctor told him not to take even Tylenol or anything. also, links to anything non-sweet protein powder recipes would be awesome!
do any gainers have ideas for packed lunches that wouldn't be too much trouble on my end but are still calorie dense and easy to eat at work? I like packing things like chickpea salad and hardboiled eggs as sides, but I guess I get worried that they might not be realistic on the job site. I like the suggestion of packing nuts, I'll definitely add a snack mix with peanuts or cashews to my grocery list.
also, is there a way on mfp to track calories for two people? like an account switch maybe like you can do on uhhhh twitter, Tumblr or instagram? I have a general idea of what I'm doing when I cook for him but I don't think he is interested in making his own account... like I said, he's super self conscious about his weight, I don't know if I suggested he join might be a blow to his self esteem. he definitely sees me using it a lot.
any suggestions help! I'm no great chef but I like to try and take care of my fella! also @ the people saying "he's a grown man he can cook for himself" and related comments - it must be hard having been single for so long!
Finally someone that understands!!! Thank you for your comment. You're situation is exactly like mine! I'm going to add you as a friend.
I unfortunately I think he would have to create an account to be able to use MFP. Maybe seeing it down on the app will help him realize that it's not enough?
I don't know about protein powder affecting his medication. Maybe he could email his doctor to see?
Message me so we can talk more about this and tackle this together!!!! ☺️0 -
girlperson666 wrote: »
do any gainers have ideas for packed lunches that wouldn't be too much trouble on my end but are still calorie dense and easy to eat at work? I like packing things like chickpea salad and hardboiled eggs as sides, but I guess I get worried that they might not be realistic on the job site. I like the suggestion of packing nuts, I'll definitely add a snack mix with peanuts or cashews to my grocery list.
I put a list above of food to eat.
Calorie dense food will be food that is high in fat.
1 gr of protein == 4 calories
1 gr of carb == 4 calories
1 gr of fat == 9 calories
So foods high in fat will pack the most calories.
You can also add slim jims to the list....they have a very high fat to protein ratio.
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Good story here. I also like to know how to gain weight in a natural way. Hope someone will help me here. lol0
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This is an unsweetened vanilla, plant based protein powder that I have had very good luck with in the past. I don't know what anyone's health situation is so talking to a doc is a good plan, especially when on meds. I was using this while taking meds for BP and depression and had no adverse side effects.0 -
I notice that he turns his nose up at protein; perhaps it makes him feel overfull. If I were you I'd work with his "likes", which happen to be fruit. More carbs/natural sugars will help him gain weight, too.
Here's some things to try:
- fig newtons
- trail mix, heavy on the raisins and dates
- yogurt covered nuts
- fruit and ice cream or whipped cream for desserts.
I used to come home from work with my fruit untouched. It drove hubby crazy. "Of all the things to skip, you picked the fruit??" I find if I make it easier to eat, like cutting it in to quarters or peeling it, I'm more likely to eat it.
Vigorous exercise in the heat, I'd be worried about electrolyte imbalance too. Perhaps he should pack Gatorade. Salty snacks like potato chips would be good.0 -
I was coming in to say the same thing -- it sounds like you're feeding him things YOU might like (protein bars, PB, etc.), but you should be focusing on sweeter/fruitier things. Unless he has a dairy allergy, ditch the almond milk and make his shakes with Strawberry Quik, whole milk or even add some heavy cream. Nuts and trail mix tend to be less filling than protein bars, which (depending on the brand) can have a lot of fiber. Instead of adding volume at dinner with a starch, try adding butter/cheese/olive oil/etc. Dried fruit can pack a lot of calories into a small amount of volume.I notice that he turns his nose up at protein; perhaps it makes him feel overfull. If I were you I'd work with his "likes", which happen to be fruit. More carbs/natural sugars will help him gain weight, too.
Here's some things to try:
- fig newtons
- trail mix, heavy on the raisins and dates
- yogurt covered nuts
- fruit and ice cream or whipped cream for desserts.0 -
@mitymax96
slim Jims - excellent idea! i picked some up as soon as I saw your post and they're a hit. I'm going to get some for snacking in the house as well as packing for lunch!
@eversmallory
friend request accepted! I think people sometimes don't realise it's not a case of vanity/muscles when it comes to gaining weight, could be why you've met some resistance on here. sometimes people just literally need to gain weight for their health!
yesterday i made a big cobb salad with skinless chicken thighs, 4 slices of bacon, a generous helping of avocado, loads of cheddar cheese and carrots mixed into the salad greens for good measure. i also doubled up on all the toppings and dressing and tossed it into some pasta so my boyfriend can take that as a cold pasta salad for lunch today. super high calorie! a bit sad that I couldn't have any but I snacked while I cooked
@stacychrz
thank you!! I'll look into this!0 -
Hey I would like to add here something about gaining weight. Though it's not possible to achieve in a rapid way. But possible and takes time I know. However, you can read few articles online how to gain waiting. I know about a site which describes well how to gain weight. You can try here for a bit http://dannykennedyfitness.com/how-to-gain-weight/
Hope this help. Good luck!
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