How do you get yourself back?

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godsrose
godsrose Posts: 96 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
How do you get yourself back after you have given your all to your family. You have not made time for yourself because you put your family first. Now you do not recognize yourself. You have become seriously over weight, your husband can not stand to look at you and your son does not have any respect for you. What are you to do?

Replies

  • timlord
    timlord Posts: 158
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    ask for help
    here if you need me
    Tim
  • natskedat
    natskedat Posts: 570 Member
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    Claim yourself. You are still you. You're hiding in there! You still have dreams and wishes and desires and ambitions, and you deserve to begin reaching them again. You deserve to be noticed for something other than your weight! Respect yourself, love yourself, and give yourself the best. Believe that YOU deserve to feel GOOD.

    Start, and don't stop. Stick with the amazing support group on this site. You'll get there. We're with you.
  • TinaS88
    TinaS88 Posts: 817 Member
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    Join MFP and make a lifestyle change!! Change the way you are eating, and give yourself a calorie deficit. MAKE at least 30 min. of your day and exercise! :P
  • BabyDuchess
    BabyDuchess Posts: 353 Member
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    Take it one day at a time....set small realistic goals, put one foot in front of the other and find out what kind of exercise you like so you'll keep doing it and learn to love it. Log in every day, eat healthy, watch your portions and love yourself! :flowerforyou:
  • HolleeERL
    HolleeERL Posts: 313 Member
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    Tell yourself that you have to take care of YOU before you can take care of others...and believe it!! That doesn't mean you have to ignore them, but you must make time for yourself or you'll never earn your own respect. The rest will fall into place. Best wishes!!
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
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    You start out by taking it one day at a time. You DEMAND respect from your son. He's still young and needs to be taught about respect. Your husband needs a lesson in respect as well. You work, you're a Mom, you're a wife. He needs to understand YOUR needs as well. TELL him what you need in terms of time to yourself and make it happen. Don't take excuses or let him wiggle out of it. He may think you've gotten *****y but he will learn that you are NOT a doormat. Do it. YOU and your health are too important not to.
  • prettyblondylady
    prettyblondylady Posts: 13 Member
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    Love yourself. Start with small changes. Being on MFP is a good place. It's one day at a time and each day gets a bit better. Find some girlfriends to talk to. Take a walk. Pray. Do it for yourself, no one else. You'll get yourself back. I'll be praying for you too.
  • get_fit2009
    get_fit2009 Posts: 827 Member
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    Make the time for you starting NOW. If it means getting up at 5:00 AM, if it means not making dinner for 2 nights a week, if it means being a little bit of a meanie by demanding that time - do it. You deserve it. You will earn your family's respect back when you respect yourself. You respect yourself by taking care of yourself. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. YOU DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY. No matter what anyone else tells you. If you focus on just doing it, one day you will realize you have found yourself again. Honest. :flowerforyou:
  • Pam37841
    Pam37841 Posts: 286
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    Claim yourself. You are still you. You're hiding in there! You still have dreams and wishes and desires and ambitions, and you deserve to begin reaching them again. You deserve to be noticed for something other than your weight! Respect yourself, love yourself, and give yourself the best. Believe that YOU deserve to feel GOOD.

    Start, and don't stop. Stick with the amazing support group on this site. You'll get there. We're with you.

    She said everything I was going to say!
    I feel the same way you do in some ways. My kids have all grown up on me. My youngest will be 18 the 20th of July. I started getting healthy a little over a year ago. It is a hard battle but I know I am going to win it.
    In the end your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters. The people in your life should love the woman inside of you.
    This site is amazing and the people here are super supportive.

    Please add me and I will help ya any way that I can/
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
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    Wow, I have no clue! I hear u I feel ur pain! Although I got lucky and am ok in "life" I struggle. My hubby and I met when we were 14/15, we got preg with my daughter when I was 15, we are still together but frig, I give my all ( we both do) but theres no time for US! We also have a 7 yr old son, sigh its hard ! I have a strong sense of morality because the fam I was raised with are NUTBARS! LONG story! SO I have NO ONE to count on! Lets find US together! Fell free to add me!
  • laddyboy
    laddyboy Posts: 1,565 Member
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    You know, it's funny cuz I was just talking to my new Boss about me time. I made the decision 2 1/2 years ago that I was going to change the face of the person in the mirror that I no longer recognized. I looked to find a time that didn't impact or interfer with my family. That time was at 5am. Soooo, I got up every morning at 5 am and pressed play in my basement. The 1st week was tough but I soon got use to it. One day my wife said, can you do some laundry when you get up at 5. I thought, looked at her with love and compassion (or a pissed off look, I can't remember), and said HELL NO!!!! That's Me Time.
    You my friend need and deserve some ME TIME. If you don't take care of yourself you may not be around much longer to take care of your family.
    I was going down a bad path health wise and before it got bad I did something about it. If I can do it...you can too.
    Now get up, brush yourself off and go claim your ME TIME!!!
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
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    Make the time for you starting NOW. If it means getting up at 5:00 AM, if it means not making dinner for 2 nights a week, if it means being a little bit of a meanie by demanding that time - do it. You deserve it. You will earn your family's respect back when you respect yourself. You respect yourself by taking care of yourself. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. YOU DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY. No matter what anyone else tells you. If you focus on just doing it, one day you will realize you have found yourself again. Honest. :flowerforyou:
    such good advise and this is y u r my pal :)
  • Jconner30
    Jconner30 Posts: 311
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    Simple answer... Make "ME" time. Even if you have to get up at 4:30AM and exercise for an hour. Trust me, without 'me' time, you will go in sane and your marriage will fail!
  • LilSomethin
    LilSomethin Posts: 545 Member
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    You gotta make time for yourself. I was in the same situation a year ago. It took my life being turned upside down to realize that I had to look within myself and make changes to make me happy cuz I matter!!! I am a better mother and girlfriend becauce I took the time out to take care of me. Somehow when we have kids we lose ourselves since we devote everything we got to the ones we love and as it turns out we hurt ourselves. Take small steps and work on you. You are worth it and deserve it!! Good luck :)
  • CJCrowell
    CJCrowell Posts: 4
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    as a good friend once told me, you know you gotta lose weight, but you gotta want it bad enough!! It took me yrs to realize that!! I have decided to join MFP for ME, first and foremost, then my three children! I have to get my weight under control for "MY" health and well being! Then that falls back unto my children, if they see me healthy, I think they will be happy and proud of me! Keep your chin up, set small goals at first, then add a little at a time, you will get there!! I too am just starting this adventure, but with friends on MFP, we can do it!! May God Bless you today and always!!
  • godsrose
    godsrose Posts: 96 Member
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    I can't say thank you enough to all you for your inspiring words. I was feeling really low and really did not know what to do. I just got on the sight and posted my feelings. Thank you very much you guys are really great!
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    You deserve to be happy! Keep reminding yourself that no one will die if the house isn't clean or they have to make their own dinner. Without you being happy, you can't be happy for your family and you won't fully enjoy their company. I hope you feel better soon!
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    Small changes are the way to go. It sounds as though you are a long way from being where you want to be, but you know that the first step on the journey back is the hardest.
    Pick ONE thing that you can change - maybe eat a healthy breakfast every day for a week. Once you've achieved this, pick another one - maybe find 15 mins to yourself to go for a walk, or paint your toenails. These small changes will add up into good healthy habits before you know it.

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