Boss/Workplace Issues!!!! Please Help
tayter_tot7
Posts: 220 Member
So...I recently got promoted and started working at a new location. And since being here its already been about 6 unpleasant conversations with my boss. It's not actually what they say but how they say it. We had an unpleasant exchanged and then they chalked it up to.."we dont know each other yet"...but this Boss had the same cellphone number of mine that my co-workers had...so why would you not use it. My office is decorated with things I like hint hint...you can find something to talk to me about lol. One day I came down with a cold while at work but I finished out my tasks for the day because I was gonna tell them I wasnt coming tomorrow (you could see I was sick) I turn in my paperwork they remark,"Don't bring your germs to work tomorrow." Took time off because I was sick...2 days. When I return back to work I am pulled to the side and has the call in policy read to me...Duh you knew I would be gone for more than a day...Again a casual, hey I knew you were sick but make sure you call everyday" would have worked...not a policy-thumping lecture. Last week I couldnt get my office keys from the box so they had to unlock my door.....but everyday I would ask her to unlock the door they would huff and puff and stomp down the hall....and on top of that have to wait 15 or 20 min for my door to get unlocked. So this week I wasnt really concerned about the time I got to work because work always got busy and I ended up leaving 30 minutes later due to difficult situations. I know we dont get overtime never asked for it. So they come in today and say oh why were you late this morning. its starting to be a pattern blah blah blah. Im currently in training although I have done the job by myself for some time now. What I don't like about them is I only see this boss when they have something negative to say to or about me. And some of the comments that they make are just downright rude. We had a general conversation when I first got hired. It turned into current events etc. So she says, " oh Im so tired of seeing gay couples and interracial couples on tv. I'm tired of them shoving it down our throats." At the time I happened to be in an interracial relationship. Then this Orlando thing happened. They walk out of their office," I'm tired of this I wish these gay people would just get off their high horse." WTF did that have to do with innocent people losing their lives...I have gay friends and family so how rude of them to make that comment?!.
Long story short, what can I do to make this relationship work/ go smoother?
Long story short, what can I do to make this relationship work/ go smoother?
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Replies
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tayter_tot7 wrote: »
resigning after having been moved up to a new role?!?!
that's the spirit.... prove your boss you were not worth the promotion!
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Just report them to HR for the Gay and Biracial Slurs as creating a hostile work environment. That should be able to be reported anonymously. If you like the job, don't let one person chase you away.5
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tayter_tot7 wrote: »
resigning after having been moved up to a new role?!?!
that's the spirit.... prove your boss you were not worth the promotion!
Ummm.first off I was at another Institution and got promoted and went to this location. I did not know her prior nor did she know me. I've more than proved in belong here..I'm not supposed to have a caseload until October but I've been doing this job by myself with one week of shadowing. So I've more than proved myself.0 -
It's just the whole atmosphere at this job is different to me and it doesn't feel like home. I remember walking about 300 ft to unlock a door for someone at my previous job vs. here someone huffs and puffs because they have to walk 10 steps down a hall. C'mon lol0
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First of all the comments on gay and interracial relationships are totally inappropriate. I would report them to HR immediately even if it is only for record. I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. However I don't personally think they're out of line with formally reviewing the absence and late policy with you. I'm not sure how you expected them to know you would be out multiple days but as an employee it's your responsibility to know the policies of the company. If the sick policy is to call everyday you should call everyday. If you have a specified starting time and are not at work at that time it's their job to formally review the late policy with you. I'm only saying this because as someone who has been responsible for policy control for over 600 employees, casual conversations don't work and formal review and documentation of policy protects the employee from inappropriate discipline and the employer from abuse of policy.6
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Private or public sector?0
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I work for the State0
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I would report the things that this person is saying if you don't feel you can confront her yourself.
If you're that uncomfortable, maybe there's another place for you? I'm not clear on what you do, but finding another job wouldn't be out of the question if things don't change. If this person is a bigot and homophobic, and you have pictures of you and your different race significant other in your office, how's that conversation going to go?
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You should have a grievance policy in place then. I'd say file one and go through the steps. Frankly, I'd probably wait it out until I'm past probation, since you promoted, and then file one; sometimes people get promoted out of the division/department as a means to get them out of that environment.1
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Honestly most of the OP doesn't sound that bad. Some bosses are just not as nice as others. If they want to be strict about rules (calling in, not being late) then just follow the rules. Or get another job if you want to work somewhere not as strict.
The remarks about gays and biracial marriage don't have to be tolerated. Report them to HR.1 -
Keladelphia wrote: »First of all the comments on gay and interracial relationships are totally inappropriate. I would report them to HR immediately even if it is only for record. I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. However I don't personally think they're out of line with formally reviewing the absence and late policy with you. I'm not sure how you expected them to know you would be out multiple days but as an employee it's your responsibility to know the policies of the company. If the sick policy is to call everyday you should call everyday. If you have a specified starting time and are not at work at that time it's their job to formally review the late policy with you. I'm only saying this because as someone who has been responsible for policy control for over 600 employees, casual conversations don't work and formal review and documentation of policy protects the employee from inappropriate discipline and the employer from abuse of policy.
It's not what they said but how they said it. And again that's just me coming to a new location I was previously a state employee, so the lecture was a bit much. And I do understand what you're saying. However before I got the job I had a bad accident and food poisoining that had my out of an undetermined amount of time and my boss did not have me calling because he knew I wouldn't be better overnight lol Its just the condescending tone behind it that makes me mad lol0 -
I would report the things that this person is saying if you don't feel you can confront her yourself.
If you're that uncomfortable, maybe there's another place for you? I'm not clear on what you do, but finding another job wouldn't be out of the question if things don't change. If this person is a bigot and homophobic, and you have pictures of you and your different race significant other in your office, how's that conversation going to go?
I am a corrections counselor, I got promoted not as a means to move me anywhere lol I applied had the qualifications and got the job..you know the traditional way
Not to move me, I'd love to go back to my former job...my current position is not available there. 0 -
Also I do have a pic of him on my computer. LOL0
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Keladelphia wrote: »First of all the comments on gay and interracial relationships are totally inappropriate. I would report them to HR immediately even if it is only for record. I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. However I don't personally think they're out of line with formally reviewing the absence and late policy with you. I'm not sure how you expected them to know you would be out multiple days but as an employee it's your responsibility to know the policies of the company. If the sick policy is to call everyday you should call everyday. If you have a specified starting time and are not at work at that time it's their job to formally review the late policy with you. I'm only saying this because as someone who has been responsible for policy control for over 600 employees, casual conversations don't work and formal review and documentation of policy protects the employee from inappropriate discipline and the employer from abuse of policy.Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Honestly most of the OP doesn't sound that bad. Some bosses are just not as nice as others. If they want to be strict about rules (calling in, not being late) then just follow the rules. Or get another job if you want to work somewhere not as strict.
The remarks about gays and biracial marriage don't have to be tolerated. Report them to HR.
^
What they said.
Also I have worked with some *kitten* bosses in the past, but it sounds like you are not willing to adjust yourself to your new work environment.0 -
Wouldnt it be hard for you to adjust when your boss is always an ahole....I move mountains in this position to be a rookie...I never get a thank you or a good job or even a hey what are you working on today...Just a oh you came in late...(even though I will stay over to get all the things straight for my ladies without having to bother someone else if its a complicated situation.
My thing is never anything positive comes out of their mouth I only see them when its something negative.0 -
Oh boy…DOC.
They seem to play by their own rules in every state, and I honestly don’t know if going to HR is going to help you at all. My husband works for the DOC…we are an interracial couple, and he has had his share of hate spewed his way, both for his nationality and for his relationship with me. He went to HR after an anonymous co-worker hung a noose in his locker, and HE got written up for insubordination. DOC HR never seem to want to hear about problems with staff…I’m not even sure why HR departments exist in the DOC quite frankly Is there another facility near you hiring for a similar position?
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My thing is I never planned to take them to HR they should just be mindful of the things that they say, and be a bit more pleasant when dealing with people. Plain and simple. I don't particularly like them but the same office gift I gave my co-workers for helping me out I gave to her so its not like I'm being an a** to them. Make sense?0
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tayter_tot7 wrote: »Wouldnt it be hard for you to adjust when your boss is always an ahole....I move mountains in this position to be a rookie...I never get a thank you or a good job or even a hey what are you working on today...Just a oh you came in late...(even though I will stay over to get all the things straight for my ladies without having to bother someone else if its a complicated situation.
My thing is never anything positive comes out of their mouth I only see them when its something negative.
Sounds like you want a pat on the back. Sorry not all basses do that.1 -
tayter_tot7 wrote: »Wouldnt it be hard for you to adjust when your boss is always an ahole....I move mountains in this position to be a rookie...I never get a thank you or a good job or even a hey what are you working on today...Just a oh you came in late...(even though I will stay over to get all the things straight for my ladies without having to bother someone else if its a complicated situation.
My thing is never anything positive comes out of their mouth I only see them when its something negative.
In my experience this isn't all that uncommon, especially in a big company. You have a few choices. Quit and find another job. Get stressed out about it and try to "fix it". Address the issues/questions as if they were asked in a friendly manner and don't stress about it.0 -
First of all, all states are different, so you can file a grievance (at least in my state) on anyone, regardless if you even work directly with that person. It doesn't matter whether you've been disciplined by them or not. Second of all, less turnover in state work than private sector?
Man, what states are you guys working in!? Nooses? bad DOC?
I'm loving my state more and more...1 -
Sometimes your boss isn't going to be your friend. Some of your co-workers might not be pleasant and that isn't a requirement. As far as calling in, a simple explanation that your last boss didn't require it and apology for not meeting this bosses expectations would be good. Even if your boss doesn't let you in the door in time, you are still scheduled to be there at a certain time. Bring a book to read, do some exercises, have a cup of coffee, but be there on time. Don't let the others in the office bring you down to their level as far as what you do.
Sometimes you just have to play the game, especially in a government/big corporate job.
The comments about interracial couples and gays are a whole different thing. That is just stupid on your bosses part. You could be gay, you were part of an interracial couple, you could have friends that are. That is one great way to get in trouble. I would document what was said and when and I would bring it in writing to HR just to be documented. CYA just to be safe
I have worked for similar bosses and it sucks. My advice is not to expend too much energy trying to make a great relationship. Work on a keeping your relationship a solid professional working relationship and keep it in that context.2 -
Don't know about the last part there... but it sounds to me like you may not be communicating effectively. Instead of assuming you can come in late after putting in unpaid overtime, why not discuss with them ahead of time that you can "black book" your extra time in order to come in late, or ask for actual over time pay? OR just leave on time. Drop everything. Teach them it's not ok with you that you're not paid for your time. Don't set their expectations higher than you want them.
It's also standard policy at every company to call everyday you're sick, not just once (unless you're specifically told otherwise). So this is something you should keep in mind next time. Maybe give your company's policy manual a read. It's the first thing I do starting any new company. It's why they have it written down.
It's too bad they're being so negative about it, but you need to do what you can to keep lines of communication open and appropriate.
The stuff about the interracial and gay couples though - that I'd report to HR. Deal with it now before it get's worse. Document everything though, so you have proof for HR.
ETA: Someone above mentioned that HR is sometimes useless - you can ALWAYS go above HR. There are government entities that you can involve if needed, as well as mediators. HR is not the end of the line for something that is a true problem.3 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Honestly most of the OP doesn't sound that bad. Some bosses are just not as nice as others. If they want to be strict about rules (calling in, not being late) then just follow the rules. Or get another job if you want to work somewhere not as strict.
The remarks about gays and biracial marriage don't have to be tolerated. Report them to HR.
I agree with all of this.0 -
I am not looking for a pat on the back but just gets on your nerves when you only see someone when they have something negative to say simple as that lol I just know that I work for a micro-manager that aways seems unhappy. Thats not me, I'd rather have a positive environment and I try but Lord knows they are making it hard. Everyday is some new thing that you want to do...For instance , they took me in the office and said oh you went to your car yesterday I didnt know where you were going...Uh to the warehouse to pick up my laptop, I wasn't aware that I had to tell you (I go to my car daily to use my cellphone), what made that day different. I go to records at the facility nearby..I don't have to report it to everyone. But since you don't like me for a couple reasons now I do? Thats what I deal with. I don't mind enforcing the rules but when you do it to pick on someone then it becomes a problem. Same day my co-worker that I'm close to comes outside to, I ask oh did you have to report that to the boss.." No, we dont have to do that, why would I do that?" Yea.....0
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Sounds like you need a lateral move elsewhere.... This ain't the place for you.0
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Aside from the boss being completely distasteful in comments, which I agree on reporting, you're going to have to suck it up. Unfortunately, you're going to have to play the game until you find something elsewhere. Make it casual when they're being jerks or bring humor to it without sounding sarcastic. They read you the call in policy, just jokingly say "sorry I ran out of Kleenex and had to improvise." But it does sound like you are testing your boundaries far too early. I'm sorry, but if you are to be there on time, whether they are ready for you or not, you do it. And that counts on whether you chose to stay later by your own choice. As a teacher, I am not empathetic to this aspect because I'm expected to do it with no compensation. But if you're late, both parties are being unprofessional, not just one.1
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It does sound like a pita boss to work for. I have been there and didn't enjoy it much. Like I said before though, just play their game. Keep everything on a professional basis.
Let your own good work be your pat on the back. It is a lot more fun working for a boss that gives positive feedback, but not all bosses are like that. Grin and bear it and look for a place to move on to if it becomes unbearable. That boss have already seen the picture of your other race SO and that may part of the reason for the treatment. It sucks, it isn't fair, and it probably isn't provable. I don't think there is a good way to change things, just ways to survive and adapt to the circumstances.0 -
Just as an aside, I would be careful even trying to add humor with someone like you are describing. I haven't found them to have much resembling a sense of humor. Strictly professional.1
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