Boss/Workplace Issues!!!! Please Help

tayter_tot7 wrote: »

Wouldnt it be hard for you to adjust when your boss is always an ahole....I move mountains in this position to be a rookie...I never get a thank you or a good job or even a hey what are you working on today...Just a oh you came in late...(even though I will stay over to get all the things straight for my ladies without having to bother someone else if its a complicated situation.
My thing is never anything positive comes out of their mouth I only see them when its something negative.

In my experience this isn't all that uncommon, especially in a big company. You have a few choices. Quit and find another job. Get stressed out about it and try to "fix it". Address the issues/questions as if they were asked in a friendly manner and don't stress about it.

Sometimes your boss isn't going to be your friend. Some of your co-workers might not be pleasant and that isn't a requirement. As far as calling in, a simple explanation that your last boss didn't require it and apology for not meeting this bosses expectations would be good. Even if your boss doesn't let you in the door in time, you are still scheduled to be there at a certain time. Bring a book to read, do some exercises, have a cup of coffee, but be there on time. Don't let the others in the office bring you down to their level as far as what you do.

Sometimes you just have to play the game, especially in a government/big corporate job.

The comments about interracial couples and gays are a whole different thing. That is just stupid on your bosses part. You could be gay, you were part of an interracial couple, you could have friends that are. That is one great way to get in trouble. I would document what was said and when and I would bring it in writing to HR just to be documented. CYA just to be safe

I have worked for similar bosses and it sucks. My advice is not to expend too much energy trying to make a great relationship. Work on a keeping your relationship a solid professional working relationship and keep it in that context.

Sounds like you need a lateral move elsewhere.... This ain't the place for you.

It does sound like a pita boss to work for. I have been there and didn't enjoy it much. Like I said before though, just play their game. Keep everything on a professional basis.

Let your own good work be your pat on the back. It is a lot more fun working for a boss that gives positive feedback, but not all bosses are like that. Grin and bear it and look for a place to move on to if it becomes unbearable. That boss have already seen the picture of your other race SO and that may part of the reason for the treatment. It sucks, it isn't fair, and it probably isn't provable. I don't think there is a good way to change things, just ways to survive and adapt to the circumstances.

Ugh. You might want to talk to Human Resources, while searching for another job or a transfer to another department. I have had some really nasty bosses and in the end, leaving was the only solution. I can handle a bit of prickliness but flat out abusive demeanor is just unacceptable.

Well first off, I would be on time for work. Try not to be an inconvenience if possible. I don't really understand the whole door thing, but I would go out of my way to get it fixed. The innapropriate comments and such thing sounds like a lack of professional work atmosphere. I would just kinda talk to them about it in a professional and conversational manner, perhaps even educational. I would avoid talking about "feelings" and "perspectives" as neither pro gay interatial or negative viewpoints shouldn't have a place for discussion in the work place. Honestly current events outside of things related to your industry should really be left out of the workplace. After all, we are there to work not banter and gossip about nonsense. Give it some time, if u don't like it work on getting a transfer or new job. Chances are u won't change an entire departments mission and values. Idk what scale this particular atmosphere is at tho in terms of workforce. Well I rambled but I found if I can have fun and let *kitten* that doesn't effect my work get to me it seems to work out.

tayter_tot7 wrote: »

Keladelphia wrote: »

First of all the comments on gay and interracial relationships are totally inappropriate. I would report them to HR immediately even if it is only for record. I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. However I don't personally think they're out of line with formally reviewing the absence and late policy with you. I'm not sure how you expected them to know you would be out multiple days but as an employee it's your responsibility to know the policies of the company. If the sick policy is to call everyday you should call everyday. If you have a specified starting time and are not at work at that time it's their job to formally review the late policy with you. I'm only saying this because as someone who has been responsible for policy control for over 600 employees, casual conversations don't work and formal review and documentation of policy protects the employee from inappropriate discipline and the employer from abuse of policy.

It's not what they said but how they said it. And again that's just me coming to a new location I was previously a state employee, so the lecture was a bit much. And I do understand what you're saying. However before I got the job I had a bad accident and food poisoining that had my out of an undetermined amount of time and my boss did not have me calling because he knew I wouldn't be better overnight lol Its just the condescending tone behind it that makes me mad lol

OP, it could be that you're a little sensitive to how they approached you on these topics, especially since they may have handled it differently at your last location. As far as the sick policy, you can't expect your employer to assume that you'll just be gone a certain amount of days. When I'm sick and can't be in, I make sure to call every day if I know that I won't make it in. That way the manager/supervisor knows the situation and isn't guessing. Everyone answers to someone else, so what would have been the manager's answer if she had been asked your whereabouts? I guess she's at home sick? Concerning the late policy, if you're supposed to be somewhere at a certain time, just be there or inform your boss that you'll be late for whatever reason. It shouldn't be a habit or happen very often. I went through the same thing with my employer, who like you, informed me of their policy on timeliness. Like you, I assumed that 5-10 minutes late shouldn't matter over the long term, especially if I'm making that time up at the end of the day. Employers will never confront you about staying later than your usual time but will always have an issue with you coming in late or taking lenthy breaks. Nature of the beast. As far as them getting upset about having to let you in your space, that is a personal thing. Some people just don't like being put out and think you should find a fix to the problem and not rely on them to take care of it.

It just seems that you have an expectation of treatment and interaction based on your last position. Not every place you go will be the same, and as I learned from many years in the military, it isn't your bosses job to conform to your expectations but yours to conform to theirs. If that is how they run their ship, get used to it or move on.

As far as the racial and homophobic comments, report it to HR so it's documented and report it every time it occurs. Either they will have to do something about it or open themselves up to a lawsuit or EEO complaint. If it's a state job, I'm sure they have very strict equal opportunity guidelines and take the matter very seriously as no state agency wants to be sued for one of it's employees actions.