Emotional trauma and weight management

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I want to start a forum in regards to the emotional struggles involved in weight management. I presently have a mother that went into a Vegetable State because she got the bariatric surgery. My family has always struggled with body weight issues, because of this it's been a real emotional struggle for me. I also have had many cruel people add their negative Opinions of me. This makes it hard for me to see health Management both a good thing and Obtainable. I have done many diets. I gain and loose quickly with little long term results. What advice, that doesn't involve involving a couslor, would you give to someone that struggles with weight as an emotional trigger?

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  • RosemaryBronte
    RosemaryBronte Posts: 103 Member
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    First very practical stuff. Eat enough healthy food. Don't be hungry all the time or you'll soon cave into eating junk. Next think of weight loss as a way to get to know yourself in a kindly way. When you eat junk, check out what triggered that. Did you stay up too late? That causes unhealthy choices for me. Have you forgotten to do some exercise? That can make you a little depressed. Everything you do to be constructively kind to yourself will help you to make healthy choices. Try to set up new healthy habits. Habits don't need much will power. They're pretty automatic. Keep a diary and write down the exercise you do and the new habits you're creating. That helps to build a new sense of identity. And please learn meditation. It soothes and heals you you. It restores your sense of being OK. Slowly and steadily it allows you to feel happier. Let it heal you. Think of all this kindness and new habits as a long term project permanently building a healthier happier you.
  • RosemaryBronte
    RosemaryBronte Posts: 103 Member
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    Jonathan Hairy has written a helpful book called The Happiness Hypothesis. He has some very useful ideas for becoming happier and healthier.
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
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    First don't look at it as "trying to lose weight " look at it as building habits that lead to weight loss.
    2nd and most importantly be kind to yourself. If you stumble dust yourself off; get back up and keep moving forward.
    Concentrate on those little victories. They will help you push forward.
    When I started about 6 weeks ago every day I logged and was under my calorie goal was a victory. When I weighed myself and lost; another victory. Today it's smaller clothes.
    Much love and wish you the best.
  • freaknsexycoffeegirl
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    ...Next think of weight lossto get to know yourself in a kindly way. When you eat junk, check out what triggered that. Did you stay up too late?... Have you forgotten to do some exercise? That can make you a little depressed. Everything you do to be constructively kind to yourself will help you to make healthy choices... Keep a diary and write down the exercise you do and the new habits you're creating. That helps to build a new sense of identity. And please learn meditation.

    This is all good advice. I'm not huge into a lot of snacking or over eating. I'm a "work on the run" eater. This means I eat fast food for two-three meals a day. Most of The time that means meals from the restaurant, Which are more like sit-down family meals, rather than food from a bag, but it's still unhealthy. I switch out for healthier options, but I think I need to get more strict.My biggest issue you hit on the head, I have to stop looking at healthy habits as punishment for being "fat", but rather I'm being kind to my body. The more I'm kind to my body the less chance of me ending up in the same situation as my mother.
  • freaknsexycoffeegirl
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    Jonathan Hairy has written a helpful book called The Happiness Hypothesis. He has some very useful ideas for becoming happier and healthier.

    I'll have to look into this. It's so hard not to connect healthy habits to "the world has a messed of view of people". Deep inside I get the additue of "I will eat and look the way I want and it's no one's business!" Although this is a true statement, I still need to be healthier, so I'm not sick or in plain. I have a lot of personal issues related to this subject and a good book may give me the answers I need.
  • hypodonthaveme
    hypodonthaveme Posts: 215 Member
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    Set yourself a small goal at time. Ex: when you lose 10 lbs buy yourself a new shirt. When you lose 20 lbs buy a new handbag. Do something for YOU when you reach a small goal. A day at the spa, relaxing in a tub with scented candles lit somewhere in the room. Something for you. Remember every day is a new day. If you have a bad day ( we all do) , do NOT fret. Just pick yourself up the next day. Make healthier choices, exercise daily, log your foods. Enjoy the journey. It's not a competition. Don't compare your weight loss with someone else's. You are not them. You can do this. Regardless of " genetics" you can be the person you want to be. You just have to 1) put in the effort 2) don't give up on yourself 3) be patient with progress. 4) remember progress isn't about the scale. It's about the new found strength, more energy, faster walking pace, more confidence,etc.
  • queenofpuppies
    queenofpuppies Posts: 189 Member
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    I would suggest starting a journal where you can express your feelings. Try writing one thing you are grateful for every day. You could use the same journal to track your goals. Set reasonable goals for yourself like "I will take a walk every day for a week" or even little things like "I will put all my laundry away as soon as it is done washing for a whole month" (one of my struggles that you may or may not share) The idea is to train yourself to focus on postive aspects of life and celebrate them. This should, over time, help you become a more confident and happy person. In a nutshell: if you want to stop the emotional eating you are going to need to find health ways to handle grief and stress. Best of luck, and blessings to your mother and your family.
  • lifeandleaves
    lifeandleaves Posts: 97 Member
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    Dr Kristin Neff promotes an ideology of self-compassion rather than self-criticism. She offers exercises and meditation that help people change their relationship with themselves, seeing themselves as their biggest allies rather than their biggest critics. This helps people focus on self care, including taking the time to nourish themselves properly and exercise where appropriate, leading to weight loss.

    Combined with a diet programme, I.e. prepping meals or buying appropriately-sized and nutritious meals on the go, one has a higher chance of success. It reduces emotional eating by making one more forgiving of oneself when slip ups happen.

    The guidance doesn't just apply to dieting and it can help to deal with generally difficult situations. I'm using it to handle general stress and a few unpleasant things happening of late, which are all triggering less care and self-control around my food intake and exercise output.

    Google Kristin Neff Self Compassion for more information. Or try Mindfulness for Wellbeing and Peak Performance from Futurelearn, a free six-week course which focuses on self-compassion and mindfulness.